Do You Speak Thai To Farang Wives If Farang Doesn't Understand?

[Gecko123]

12 minutes ago, Will B Good said:

If English is at least understood by all, it is common decency to stick to it.

 

I've lived and worked abroad for 30 years and I can't recall a single instant when, in a group, someone has switched to their own language to say or discuss anything.

There are situations where a group of foreign men are sitting around a table and one of the guys is with his Thai spouse, and the Thai spouse sits in silence the entire time. You can tell from the communication between the woman and her husband that her English is limited. If somebody makes an effort to engage with the Thai woman in Thai in order to make her feel more welcome in the group, I don't think they should be faulted for making this effort.

[brianthainess]

6 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

it’s a bit like the second hand Aston Martin add…

 

…. But in this case I’d very much care who went before me….

 

… I’d be concerned about touching the door handle !!!! 🤣🤣🤣

 

 

No worries there, Bob can't 'go there' she tells me. 

[paul1804]

23 hours ago, simon43 said:

I got confused!  I thought you asked if I spoke Thai to 'farang wives', which seems like a silly idea if these wives are farang!!  Then I understood what you asked.  I would speak Thai only if a Thai partner did not understand English, and I would also speak English to the foreigner out of politeness.

 

Here in Laos some of my Lao friends speak fluent English but their Lao partners do not.  So I will always speak Lao when chatting with them both, out of politeness for the person who doesn't understand English.

 

Finally, my language skills are stretched because an old French guy lives in my village and he doesn't speak Lao or English or....  So I chat with him in French whilst simultaneously translating our conversation into Lao for the benefit of the village kids who always crowd around and want to ask questions of the French guy 🙂

Yes because you are a westerner and thats the politeness we display, Asian's dont share our view here and dont even think its being rude despite being the obvious to us westerners. 

[brianthainess]

Tinglish is the best language. 

[JayClay]

23 minutes ago, Will B Good said:

If English is at least understood by all, it is common decency to stick to it

 

It is. But it's not always that easy.

 

People will generally take the easiest option, and if somebody's Thai wife thinks it will be easier to speak to me in Thai then they usually do so, even if the rest of the room can't speak a word of Thai.

 

It makes me feel a bit awkward, to be honest, but it's human nature. As I said earlier, I do try and translate for the husband/group but it gets tiring. If they keep taking to me in Thai I sometimes make the point that we should speak in a language everybody understands, and I usually get an accepting nod before the Thai language continues.

[Lacessit]

On 2/27/2024 at 11:59 AM, BritManToo said:

I don't allow my wife to speak to other foreigners.

And I don't mix with foreigners that drag their wife around with them.

IMO your post reeks of insecurity.

[richard_smith237]

3 minutes ago, ChaiyaTH said:

I agree entirely, I did meet with other couples before to only learn they start debating who is getting the best benefits, or talking about private matters of the husbands. Stopped that entirely, since then all problems gone too.

 

Actually foreigners individually no issue, just specifically thai woman with another foreigner.

 

Most of these couples are miserable or jealous all the time anyway, pointless.

My wife has commented on this in the past when meeting the significant other of a work colleague etc…. & they’re asking very personal questions & giving up very personal information…

 

… Wife wants no part of it & neither do I…

 

… it’s what’s happens when guys marry hookers who try to communicate with those outside of their socio-economics-educational bracket…. 

 

 

 

[richard_smith237]

13 minutes ago, brianthainess said:

No worries there, Bob can't 'go there' she tells me. 

Not even on Birthdays ??? 🎉 🍾🍾🍑

[brianthainess]

2 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

Not even on Birthdays ??? 🎉 🍾🍾🍑

If he could get it up but..... never mind Bob I'm 'Rooting' for you.

[scorecard]

4 hours ago, Freddy42OZ said:

I wouldn't be friends with the type of Farang who would be married to a Thai that cannot speak very good English.  
 

Discrimination.

[Lacessit]

4 hours ago, Freddy42OZ said:

I wouldn't be friends with the type of Farang who would be married to a Thai that cannot speak very good English.  
 

In other words, you're a snob. Don't worry, I don't want to be friends with you.

[Gsxrnz]

I tend to listen and stay shtum. Its surprising what Thai women tell each other (answer below) after they've concluded the obligatory 90 minute discussion about what they ate yesterday, what they ate today, and what they will eat tomorrow, the last lottery draw, the next lottery draw, their cheap-charlie husband, their best friend's chep-charlie husband, ad nauseum. 

 

Answer: Not very much of interest.

[Neeranam]

1 hour ago, mancub said:

Sometimes I think it's a wee bit disrespectful when foreigners refer to other foreigners as farang. 

What word would you use?

 

 

[Neeranam]

49 minutes ago, JayClay said:

 

It is. But it's not always that easy.

 

People will generally take the easiest option, and if somebody's Thai wife thinks it will be easier to speak to me in Thai then they usually do so, even if the rest of the room can't speak a word of Thai.

 

It makes me feel a bit awkward, to be honest, but it's human nature. As I said earlier, I do try and translate for the husband/group but it gets tiring. If they keep taking to me in Thai I sometimes make the point that we should speak in a language everybody understands, and I usually get an accepting nod before the Thai language continues.

Similar here,

[Neeranam]

11 minutes ago, Gsxrnz said:

I tend to listen and stay shtum. Its surprising what Thai women tell each other (answer below) after they've concluded the obligatory 90 minute discussion about what they ate yesterday, what they ate today, and what they will eat tomorrow, the last lottery draw, the next lottery draw, their cheap-charlie husband, their best friend's chep-charlie husband, ad nauseum. 

 

Answer: Not very much of interest.

Find a better class of women.

[Neeranam]

5 hours ago, Freddy42OZ said:

I wouldn't be friends with the type of Farang who would be married to a Thai that cannot speak very good English.  
 

My wife doesn't speak English.

What type of farang do you think I am?

[Neeranam]

52 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

My wife has commented on this in the past when meeting the significant other of a work colleague etc…. & they’re asking very personal questions & giving up very personal information…

 

… Wife wants no part of it & neither do I…

 

… it’s what’s happens when guys marry hookers who try to communicate with those outside of their socio-economics-educational bracket…. 

 

 

 

Indeed, it gets complicated when meeting farang and their wives. My wife gets on well with women of any status.

She even has good friends with tatoos 😉 

[patman30]

depends on setting and circumstance
if you are in small setting, English is your first language and you are cutting the farang out of the conversation between his wife and yourself, that is very disrespectful,
if for instance you are at a dinner or event with a few wives and/or talking to a group etc and farang is not the only one left out of the convo then that is completely different.

If English is your first language, and you were having a convo with myself, and then you decided to talk to my wife in Thai (assuming i would not understand any) cutting me out of the convo, it would likely be the last convo you have with my wife or myself and would likely be cut short.

Edited February 28 by patman30

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, Gecko123 said:

There are situations where a group of foreign men are sitting around a table and one of the guys is with his Thai spouse, and the Thai spouse sits in silence the entire time. You can tell from the communication between the woman and her husband that her English is limited. If somebody makes an effort to engage with the Thai woman in Thai in order to make her feel more welcome in the group, I don't think they should be faulted for making this effort.

More likely she despises her husband.

[richard_smith237]

21 minutes ago, Neeranam said:

Indeed, it gets complicated when meeting farang and their wives. My wife gets on well with women of any status.

She even has good friends with tatoos 😉 

 

Same here...   when people are polite and friendly etc...  

 

But, there have been the odd times where we're not talking about someone who's missus is pleasant and a little rough around the edges, but someone who's 'partner' is obviously an ex-hard-core ho with that degree of mercenary brutality to match...   there simply is no common ground. 

 

 

 

[Neeranam]

19 minutes ago, patman30 said:

If English is your first language, and you were having a convo with myself, and then you decided to talk to my wife in Thai (assuming i would not understand any) cutting me out of the convo, it would likely be the last convo you have with my wife or myself and would likely be cut short.

Interesting, thanks.

[richard_smith237]

30 minutes ago, Neeranam said:

5 hours ago, Freddy42OZ said:

I wouldn't be friends with the type of Farang who would be married to a Thai that cannot speak very good English.  
 

My wife doesn't speak English.

What type of farang do you think I am?

 

I kind of get his point...    But you have been too literal...

 

I think he means... the type of friend he makes is not the sort of person to enter into a relationship with someone they are unable to communicate with.....   i.e. the Old Westerner with Thai Female Slave stereotype. 

 

 

AND... I kind of agree with him. 

My Thai is not fluent, and I never have been interested in any relationship with a female who's standard of English is not 'educated fluent'....   

 

And...  I don't mean the level of English 'picked up' in and around the entertainment industry ( as clever as those girls are and props to them ).

 

I do mean the level of English that comes with a solid education (ether a Degree in Thailand (studied in English) or an Overseas Uni Degree)...   

 

 

Doing so has just made life a whole lot easier, not just in Thailand, but everywhere we have travelled. 

 

 

[richard_smith237]

29 minutes ago, patman30 said:

depends on setting and circumstance
if you are in small setting, English is your first language and you are cutting the farang out of the conversation between his wife and yourself, that is very disrespectful,
if for instance you are at a dinner or event with a few wives and/or talking to a group etc and farang is not the only one left out of the convo then that is completely different.

If English is your first language, and you were having a convo with myself, and then you decided to talk to my wife in Thai (assuming i would not understand any) cutting me out of the convo, it would likely be the last convo you have with my wife or myself and would likely be cut short.

 

I agree... Cutting anyone out is a very rude.

 

I find that when I am the only foreigner in a room, the Thai's will still speak English, especially when they are all fluent, but within that group there may be individual spin-off contestations in Thai.

 

And often I'll speak to someones Wife in whatever language is easier for either of us, but I'd always ensure to include her partner if he is part of the conversation. I often see my Wife deep in conversation with my friends, me in conversation with their wife... or wives of others.... Its normal to communicate in the most efficient manner for both.... 

 

But... to deliberately speak a different language to avoid someone's partner understanding, is underhand, impolite and ultimately quite wrong. 

 

 

 

[patman30]

36 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

I agree... Cutting anyone out is a very rude.

 

I find that when I am the only foreigner in a room, the Thai's will still speak English, especially when they are all fluent, but within that group there may be individual spin-off contestations in Thai.

 

And often I'll speak to someones Wife in whatever language is easier for either of us, but I'd always ensure to include her partner if he is part of the conversation. I often see my Wife deep in conversation with my friends, me in conversation with their wife... or wives of others.... Its normal to communicate in the most efficient manner for both.... 

 

But... to deliberately speak a different language to avoid someone's partner understanding, is underhand, impolite and ultimately quite wrong. 

for myself i don't mind being left out when there is a group convo
many times the family are here and only some speak English, those times it can be better to be left out lol
but even when family do speak English very often they will converse in Thai in front of me
but usually when the convo is just small talk or of no relevance to myself
i never find it rude when Thais speak Thai regardless of who is in the room, or how it may feel
but a foreigner speaking Thai is a completely different matter, especially if English is most convenient for those in the conversation
 

[patman30]

2 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

her English is limited

so he cannot speak Thai
she cannot speak English
where a normal small talk conversation does not seem possible
seriously, what type of clown would you need to be get married in this scenario?

[hotandsticky]

3 minutes ago, patman30 said:

so he cannot speak Thai
she cannot speak English
where a normal small talk conversation does not seem possible
seriously, what type of clown would you need to be get married in this scenario?

 

 

 

There is more to life than conversation.........😉

[Gecko123]

31 minutes ago, patman30 said:

so he cannot speak Thai
she cannot speak English
where a normal small talk conversation does not seem possible
seriously, what type of clown would you need to be get married in this scenario?

I didn't say she can't speak English. A person can have enough proficiency to manage routine one-on-one communication with their spouse, but struggle or feel overwhelmed when in a social setting with a group of native speakers.

Edited February 28 by Gecko123

[JayClay]

3 hours ago, Will B Good said:

If English is at least understood by all, it is common decency to stick to it

 

(Edit) double post. Sorry...

Edited February 28 by JayClay

[transam]

On 2/27/2024 at 11:59 AM, BritManToo said:

I don't allow my wife to speak to other foreigners.

And I don't mix with foreigners that drag their wife around with them.

Not surprised............

[Doctor Tom]

No