ex ladybar now wife & mother still chats with ex 'john' client/customer

[RabidRenu]

ex ladybar now wife & mother still chats with ex 'john' client/customer; thoughts?

[Ben Zioner]

He paid her well.

[Utalk2mutt]

13 minutes ago, RabidRenu said:

ex ladybar now wife & mother still chats with ex 'john' client/customer; thoughts?

Did you catch her out or has she been honest about it?

[Artisi]

just keeping her hand in. 

[RabidRenu]

59 minutes ago, Ben Zioner said:

He paid her well.

yes he did

[RabidRenu]

59 minutes ago, Utalk2mutt said:

Did you catch her out or has she been honest about it?

caught her out

[RabidRenu]

50 minutes ago, Artisi said:

just keeping her hand in. 

probably

[RabidRenu]

I guess the real question here is the old adage true; you can take the girl out of the bar, but not the bar (life) out of the girl

[Artisi]

1 hour ago, RabidRenu said:

I guess the real question here is the old adage true; you can take the girl out of the bar, but not the bar (life) out of the girl

No, the real question is - should you tolerate it?

[NowNow]

2 hours ago, Utalk2mutt said:

Did you catch her out or has she been honest about it?

 

Maybe he's the customer.

Thai women friends still communicated with me after they entered into long term relationships. It depends on the content of the conversation. I keep it strictly above board.

[CharlieKo]

1 hour ago, RabidRenu said:

caught her out

Does she go out a lot, leaving you at home for a few hours a day? 

[jvs]

If you tolerate this there will be a lot more to deal with.

Next time she asks for money tell her to call him!

I would be done!

Did you set any rules before you got married?

Once the line is crossed the trust is gone and the marriage is over.

Better luck next time?

[OneMoreFarang]

3 hours ago, RabidRenu said:

ex ladybar now wife & mother

how long "ex" already?

 

It could be that she keeps her options open. That would be sad, if you are married and have a child together.

 

Another option could be, that that other guy was just a nice guy. I.e. she could communicate with him about the children, maybe he is also married now and has children - maybe. Or she might say things like: "I miss you too much". Big difference! 

 

 

 

[BobBKK]

Jeeze, you married a bar girl? She will never change, but that does NOT make her a bad person. Some of the nicest girls I have met have been in bars working for their kids, etc., heroes, many of them. Would I go out with one or marry one?  NO WAY, the risk is too great, and the thought of all those guys... anyway - you have a choice, obviously, and if you have a kid that choice becomes 1000 times harder.

[Artisi]

You hansum man she love all time - no worries then.

[Hummin]

Many thai girls see their daddys as an x, and who doesnt speak with an x once and awhile? I do not say it is right, but thats how it is. 

 

If it was me? I would had been deleted, seriously, but again, you knew what you marreid in to. 

 

I had contact with several I met on my way, not just as an customer, but also just as a platonic friend, but after I married, I have not been in contact with anyone of them, also deleted them from my socials media while I was still there. 

[Bangel72]

Are you still in contact with anyone you had romantic or business interactions with prior to your marriage?

 

This is likely just the same.

 

In a lot of cases its friends with semi paid for benefits and that's fairly normalised here with a modern view of nothing wrong with that.

 

The above maybe just falls into the category of ex's and that's then a discussion, you are uncomfortable with it and you'd rather they stopped blocked contact and you will do the same, I'd say most people would be okay with that. I don't have any ex's on my facebook for example, just not worth the hassle.

 

If its still transactional then yep I could see that as being concerning for some.  

 

The 'John' reference could be construed that you view something in her past as fairly nefarious, trafficked and forced against her will with evil johns taking advantage for example. This is likely a bit more concerning, bit of stockholm syndrome perhaps and she may need help.

[MalcolmB]

Ask yourself how would a Thai male handle the situation.

And then do as what he would do. They are much more experienced with the Thai women and their promiscuous ways. 

[proton]

She's still a prostitute keeping her options open 

[JBChiangRai]

If you marry a bar girl, you're a complete idiot.

[Sandboxer]

3 hours ago, RabidRenu said:

you can take the girl out of the bar, but not the bar (life) out of the girl

You can take a dumbass simp westerner out of the west, but you can't take the dumbass simp out of the westerner. Funny how this is (pretty much) NEVER tolerated by a Japanese/Chinese (insert x East Asian/Southeast Asian) man. Mainly because they don't marry their hardcore c-dumpsters.

Edited June 18 by Sandboxer

[Sandboxer]

2 minutes ago, JBChiangRai said:

If you marry a bar girl, you're a complete idiot.

 

Dunno the stats but it would seem like the divorce/disaster rate of falang marrying hooker is about 50%. So about the same as the normal divorce rate of the west?

[JBChiangRai]

12 minutes ago, Sandboxer said:

 

Dunno the stats but it would seem like the divorce/disaster rate of falang marrying hooker is about 50%. So about the same as the normal divorce rate of the west?

 

I suspect it's higher than a normal marriage, but there are no statistics available and no foreigner ever admits his wife was a hooker.

[Hummin]

11 minutes ago, JBChiangRai said:

 

I suspect it's higher than a normal marriage, but there are no statistics available and no foreigner ever admits his wife was a hooker.

Do you ask people if their wife is a former prostitute? 

[Sandboxer]

8 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Do you ask people if their wife is a former prostitute? 

I think most of us long timers can usually figure it out after 5 minutes.

 

 

[Gecko123]

2 hours ago, Artisi said:

No, the real question is - should you tolerate it?

 

Very few, if any, Thai guys would.

[Artisi]

57 minutes ago, proton said:

She's still a prostitute keeping her options open 

Maybe not only her options. 

[Celsius]

Thoughts? 

 

Only losers marry bargirls.

[proton]

11 minutes ago, Celsius said:

Thoughts? 

 

Only losers marry bargirls.

 

what are the bar girls who marry sex tourists- ?

[proton]

11 minutes ago, Celsius said:

Thoughts? 

 

Only losers marry bargirls.

 

what are the bar girls who marry sex tourists- ?