Serious Relationships With Thai Women, What To Expect?

[Alpha84]

Besides the fact that some are physically very attractive, if I do choose to have a long term relationship, or to eventually marry a Thai woman, then what are considered to be some of the greatest positive and negative aspects of getting so deeply involved with a Thai woman?

 

I am trying to develop an understanding of what one might expect and what the possible upsides and downsides are to having a serious romantic relationship with a Thai woman in Thailand. 

 

On the surface they appear to have a lot to offer, but I don't know about anything beyond that. Are things like honesty, integrity, sincerity, infidelity, reliability and morality areas of general concern or are they not an issue? What about other things like materialism and superficiality, intellectuality and emotional maturity?

 

Thanks. 

[EVENKEEL]

You sound confused Bob.

[Hummin]

Find someone who actually fits you, and go from there. 

 

If no common ground, then it will be dead boring for both of you. 

[impulse]

I can't help but recall that line from a movie:  Show me a gorgeous woman and I'll show you a guy who's tired of screwing her.   (I'm paraphrasing) 

 

Does that make me a bad person?

 

[fredwiggy]

1 hour ago, Alpha84 said:

Besides the fact that some are physically very attractive, if I do choose to have a long term relationship, or to eventually marry a Thai woman, then what are considered to be some of the greatest positive and negative aspects of getting so deeply involved with a Thai woman?

 

I am trying to develop an understanding of what one might expect and what the possible upsides and downsides are to having a serious romantic relationship with a Thai woman in Thailand. 

 

On the surface they appear to have a lot to offer, but I don't know about anything beyond that. Are things like honesty, integrity, sincerity, infidelity, reliability and morality areas of general concern or are they not an issue? What about other things like materialism and superficiality, intellectuality and emotional maturity?

 

Thanks. 

You're going to get many replies from people here who have experienced both sides. Like any relationship, taking your time to get to know them is always the best recourse, something I failed at a few times and paid for later. Thailand has a lot of great looking women and this can make a man lose his thinking. First thing, if you want a wife eventually, stay away from tourist areas because most of them there have a history. Marrying a bar girl isn't always trouble, as some have shown, but odds are stacked against you just because of the thinking that goes into making a bar girl a bar girl.

 

Look to the country areas, Isaan and northern Thailand, and you'll find large cities where you'll have a better chance to find one that speaks English, which is a major deal breaker because if there's no communication, it will rarely last, at least fulfilling for both. You need to talk to each other. There are plenty of coffee shops, malls, and shops where you can start a conversation. When you start talking, you'll know if she can communicate. This is a major factor some might not realize. Sex is great with these beauties, and afterwards there's nothing left besides Pad Krapow and sitting next to each other, both on their own phones.

 

As with all women, some are moral and some are not. This all goes along with honesty, integrity, sincerity, fidelity and reliability. Women everywhere can be either way. They aren't any different here than back home. Looking to the parents is another major factor. You want to meet them as soon as possible, although she might be reluctant to do that at first. That can be a good thing, as they might only want you to meet her parents if she really sees you as a possible future. When you meet the parents, see how she relates to her dad. This is the most important thing in a girls life, and if there's hostility it might not be a good idea to continue. A girl that loves, and respects her dad, and vice versa, is a girl that can relate to other males. This also goes for the mom, although not quite as important.

 

Intellectually? Some are smart, some aren't. Schooling doesn't teach much here, a lot less than western countries, and many stay back on the farm where they never grow past that. Some go to universities and these are more likely to be more independent, seeing they can get a better job and have their own money. Basically, if a person is a reader, they're a learner, because after school you don't have much of a learning experience but through others tales or TV (media). They are extremely phone focused, and this is annoying, but that's most everywhere also.

 

Look how they live, if she lives there, and see if it's objectionable to you. See how she, and they, treat any animals they have, as that's another way of seeing how they treat humans. Remember a Thai seeing you as a potential mate has had some tough times with local men, otherwise they usually prefer their own kind. Getting her to do most of the talking is always a good bet, as a person will give you a lot of information if they like to talk. One that's too quiet might be hiding things or just shy, and time will tell. She might be looking at you as a walking ATM, or just a better provider. Does she have gold, and talk about it a lot? Superficial if she does.

 

To sum this all up, don't do what i did because I went too fast. Time always tells more. I had an ex I had a child with who I treated very well, building a house here for her and our daughter, and when I finally moved her permanently, the real her came out. Depression, narcissism, lying, maybe cheating . She kidnapped our daughter 4 times until I had to file a divorce to get my daughter back home. Now I live in the house I had built with my daughter on weekends (until just recently, she's visiting another farang in Germany three months), and I will be moving back to the states as soon as I can re-establish there with my daughter. She wants to come back to me, but trust goes, I go.

 

Thai women are beautiful, great cooks (some), good lovers and nice to have around, IF they're a good one Take your time.

Edited June 19 by fredwiggy

[Hummin]

14 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

You're going to get many replies from people here who have experienced both sides. Like any relationship, taking your time to get to know them is always the best recourse, something I failed at a few times and paid for later. Thailand has a lot of great looking women and this can make a man lose his thinking. First thing, if you want a wife eventually, stay away from tourist areas because most of them there have a history. Marrying a bar girl isn't always trouble, as some have shown, but odds are stacked against you just because of the thinking that goes into making a bar girl a bar girl.

 

Look to the country areas, Isaan and northern Thailand, and you'll find large cities where you'll have a better chance to find one that speaks English, which is a major deal breaker because if there's no communication, it will rarely last, at least fulfilling for both. You need to talk to each other. There are plenty of coffee shops, malls, and shops where you can start a conversation. When you start talking, you'll know if she can communicate. This is a major factor some might not realize. Sex is great with these beauties, and afterwards there's nothing left besides Pad Krapow and sitting next to each other, both on their own phones.

 

As with all women, some are moral and some are not. This all goes along with honesty, integrity, sincerity, fidelity and reliability. Women everywhere can be either way. They aren't any different here than back home. Looking to the parents is another major factor. You want to meet them as soon as possible, although she might be reluctant to do that at first. That can be a good thing, as they might only want you to meet her parents if she really sees you as a possible future. When you meet the parents, see how she relates to her dad. This is the most important thing in a girls life, and if there's hostility it might not be a good idea to continue. A girl that loves, and respects her dad, and vice versa, is a girl that can relate to other males. This also goes for the mom, although not quite as important.

 

Intellectually? Some are smart, some aren't. Schooling doesn't teach much here, a lot less than western countries, and many stay back on the farm where they never grow past that. Some go to universities and these are more likely to be more independent, seeing they can get a better job and have their own money. Basically, if a person is a reader, they're a learner, because after school you don't have much of a learning experience but through others tales or TV (media). They are extremely phone focused, and this is annoying, but that's most everywhere also.

 

Look how they live, if she lives there, and see if it's objectionable to you. See how she, and they, treat any animals they have, as that's another way of seeing how they treat humans. Remember a Thai seeing you as a potential mate has had some tough times with local men, otherwise they usually prefer their own kind. Getting her to do most of the talking is always a good bet, as a person will give you a lot of information if they like to talk. One that's too quiet might be hiding things or just shy, and time will tell. She might be looking at you as a walking ATM, or just a better provider. Does she have gold, and talk about it a lot? Superficial if she does.

 

To sum this all up, don't so what i did because I went too fast. Time always tells more. I had an ex I had a child with who I treated very well, building a house here for her and our daughter, and when I finally moved her permanently, the real her came out. Depression, narcissism, lying, maybe cheating . She kidnapped our daughter 4 times until I had to file a divorce to get my daughter back home. Now I live in the house I had built with my daughter on weekends (until just recently, she's visiting another farang in Germany three months), and I will be moving back to the states as soon as I can re-establish there with my daughter. She wants to come back to me, but trust goes, I go.

 

Thai women are beautiful, great cooks (some), good lovers and nice to have around, IF they're a good one Take your time.

My best experience, and the one I married, had been with a western not so diffderent cultural background as me, and since we both had experienced both cultures we had both matured and adjusted our expectations as well understanding. There id no blue copy we can transfer to others how to succeed, but we can give some healthy advises. 

[brianthainess]

1 hour ago, Alpha84 said:

I am trying to develop an understanding of what one might expect and what the possible upsides and downsides are to having a serious romantic relationship with a Thai woman in Thailand. 

Downside Her family will always come first, then the Soi dog, then maybe you. 

I was lucky I married an Orphan. But her kids will always come first, and maybe rightly so.

[Will B Good]

You pays your money, you takes your chance.

 

I won the lottery, but many lose their stake.

[Hummin]

10 minutes ago, brianthainess said:

Downside Her family will always come first, then the Soi dog, then maybe you. 

I was lucky I married an Orphan. But her kids will always come first, and maybe rightly so.

How can you manage to state such BS.

 

Even some have felt that way, it is bar mongers repetitive truth about being married or in relationships in Thailand. 

 

Some way to find comfort in life after failing, or some ho think they are better off for other reasons. 

[BritManToo]

5 minutes ago, Hummin said:

How can you manage to state such BS.

 

Even some have felt that way, it is bar mongers repetitive truth about being married or in relationships in Thailand. 

 

Some way to find comfort in life after failing, or some ho think they are better off for other reasons. 

Yep, I agree, never had any problems with her family, 15 years now.

[brianthainess]

8 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Yep, I agree, never had any problems with her family, 15 years now.

I never have Problems with "Her" family either but her kids will always come first. 

[OneMoreFarang]

2 hours ago, Alpha84 said:

I am trying to develop an understanding of what one might expect and what the possible upsides and downsides are to having a serious romantic relationship with a Thai woman in Thailand. 

 

The good news is that you restrict this to a Thai woman in Thailand. Good.

There are many different types of Thai women: HiSo rich, rich and well educated, not so rich but maybe still educated, poor with a boring job, and then the night life workers.

They are, not surprisingly, all different. And in general, I wouldn't say a relationship with one of them is easier or better that with another. They are different.

 

Women all over the world prefer men with status and money. Thailand is obviously no exception. But here, at least with some of them, they don't try to pretend it's not about the money.

 

And then there is the family. You will not just marry her, you marry her family. And often (always?) her family will be more important to her.

 

And then there are all those cultural differences. Some are obvious. Some are understandable, and some are just "why do you do that?" uncomprehensible for many of us.

 

I never married but I live since many years together with my girlfriend. She accepts that I am not keen to visit her family. She visits the family maybe every one or two months. She likes it. I tried it and I definitely don't like it. And I don't know many farangs who are happy to see the family often.

 

Whatever you do, don't invest in property or have kids for at least a couple of years in Thailand. Maybe after a year you think you know it. You don't. A few years later you will understand that you didn't understand much after the first year. It will take time. Any commitment early on can be a huge problem. So, take it easy and manage your expectations. 

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, fredwiggy said:

English, which is a major deal breaker because if there's no communication

It's good if she speaks English. But it's a lot better if you understand Thai language. 

[susanlea]

Are these real questions? Ladyboys to women.

[Hummin]

5 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

 

 

 

And then there is the family. You will not just marry her, you marry her family. And often (always?) her family will be more important to her.

 

Another possibility, you become important to all of them, and give them a meaningful life. Not for everyone, still possible without becoming the involuntary "milk cow."

[OneMoreFarang]

4 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Another possibility, you become important to all of them, and give them a meaningful life. Not for everyone, still possible without becoming the involuntary "milk cow."

Yeah, that is also possible. It's also possible to win the lottery. But it doesn't happen very often.

[john donson]

if you are a 1-5 and want a 6-9 , you will be paying, forget love , BOB

[Hummin]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Yeah, that is also possible. It's also possible to win the lottery. But it doesn't happen very often.

 

I won the lottory then. Not one million lottely, but decent enough. 

 

I have seen all kinds of relationships, and the common problem how I see it, to many rush it, invest to much to quick be it emotional or hard cash. Some get stuck, others get burnt over and over again and again, ending up with generlized opinions and as well toxic. 

 

Always have a plan B if things do not work out. 

[Sigmund]

What to expect ? Expect anything that a Golden Goose can expect, what else ?

[Chris Daley]

You will be an ATM for their entire family.  If your money runs out they turn really nasty and drop you.  Don't let the Bhuddist bull<deleted> fool you.

Edited June 19 by Chris Daley

[richard_smith237]

9 hours ago, impulse said:

I can't help but recall that line from a movie:  Show me a gorgeous woman and I'll show you a guy who's tired of screwing her.   (I'm paraphrasing) 

 

Does that make me a bad person?

 

 

No... it just makes you a Jude Law fanboy !!!  

 

 

[georgegeorgia]

12 hours ago, brianthainess said:

Downside Her family will always come first, then the Soi dog, then maybe you. 

I was lucky I married an Orphan. But her kids will always come first, and maybe rightly so.

Your a deviant 

[thesetat2013]

14 hours ago, Hummin said:

Another possibility, you become important to all of them, and give them a meaningful life. Not for everyone, still possible without becoming the involuntary "milk cow."

Important perhaps. But remember your place in their family. You are an outsider to most. Your importance becomes less as the relationship moves on longer. If you have kids then you come after them. Family members will come before you as well. Marrying the Thai woman seems great. You dream of the good sex and attention you are getting now. But after a couple years you will find yourself wondering if it was a good choice if you were thinking about being of greatest importance in your partners life. Sex with even the most beautiful woman will not be sporadic and you may dream of all those other young women you played with before you got married haha... Or those you could be playing with. 

[Irons]

Met my wife 23 years just had our 20th anniversary, nobody knows the outcome. If I had turned a different corner we would have never met.

[JRG23]

18 hours ago, Alpha84 said:

honesty, integrity, sincerity, infidelity, reliability and morality

Hahahahah

[Tailwagsdog]

P.A.Y.G

 

Pay as you Go ...ha ha ha

[IvorBiggun2]

17 hours ago, brianthainess said:

I was lucky I married an Orphan.

Very old farang joke.

[Gsxrnz]

Here's my advice.  Enter into a relationship only when you have a truly in-depth understanding of TIT, and would be able to write a book about it.

 

Otherwise, enjoy the ride.

[koolkarl]

Another upcoming sucker.  If you do, sleep with your eyes open and have Superman guard your bank account.

[2baht]

Never try, never know, Alpha, give it a shot!!! Batman did!