Is Thailand a good place to settle down for the rest of your life?

[mstevens]

40 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

IMO getting married is the most appalling attitude. One is far better not being subject to some woman that only cares about transferring as much of your money to herself as possible.

If one wants a woman as a bed companion they are not too hard to find in LOS and when they become too demanding or stop having sex they can be easily replaced.

 

Fair enough if one does not want to get married. That's very much an individual thing.

 

A bunch of my friends are married to a Thai woman and most have perfectly good marriages. I think this is most likely because most of these guys have plenty going for themselves and took their time to get to know her before settling down. This is especially important with if you come from different backgrounds. If you have a good income / are good with money, are respectful & treat people well, and have self-confidence then you will attract decent women. If you don't have a lot going for yourself, lack confidence or have other traits that make you less desirable, then you are much more likely to end up in an unhappy relationship.

[fredwiggy]

5 minutes ago, mstevens said:

 

Fair enough if one does not want to get married. That's very much an individual thing.

 

A bunch of my friends are married to a Thai woman and most have perfectly good marriages. I think this is most likely because most of these guys have plenty going for themselves and took their time to get to know her before settling down. This is especially important with if you come from different backgrounds. If you have a good income / are good with money, are respectful & treat people well, and have self-confidence then you will attract decent women. If you don't have a lot going for yourself, lack confidence or have other traits that make you less desirable, then you are much more likely to end up in an unhappy relationship.

What if you're good with money, treat women well, as equals, with love and respect, are a good, available father, have good self esteem, take very good care of yourself, don't cheat, abuse or neglect, and still end up in an unhappy relationship? Don't fret, I already know the answer. You picked the wrong woman to marry. This is what he's been saying.

[mstevens]

2 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

What if you're good with money, treat women well, as equals, with love and respect, are a good, available father, have good self esteem, take very good care of yourself, don't cheat, abuse or neglect, and still end up in an unhappy relationship? Don't fret, I already know the answer. You picked the wrong woman to marry. This is what he's been saying.

 

Unfortunately, there are no guarantees. Be the best you can, put your best foot forward and with a bit of luck you'll attract a great lady. But like I said, there are no guarantees and sometimes it doesn't work out.

[KhunLA]

I wouldn't come to TH with the intend of 'finding a Thai wife'    If you are not successful in relationships, changing locations will probably not change your success rate.

 

It's simple a location, most people are the same ... worldwide.

[fredwiggy]

40 minutes ago, KhunLA said:

I wouldn't come to TH with the intend of 'finding a Thai wife'    If you are not successful in relationships, changing locations will probably not change your success rate.

 

It's simple a location, most people are the same ... worldwide.

Before I ever thought about moving here, or visiting here, I heard that Thai wives were the most loyal and attentive. I learned that this isn't always the way, and western women can be just as good, as long as you find one that has (had) a good relationship with her parents, especially her father. This is one of the most important traits you can look for, as a father (a good one) will teach his daughter how to relate to other males by seeing how he treats his wife, her mom, and also how he treats his daughter(s). Asian women are known for being attentive, and i see that here, although some can be the loudest, screaming banshees you'll ever run across, and this is what I heard about years earlier also.

[watthong]

8 hours ago, still kicking said:

I have been married to a Thai woman for 21 years moved back to OZ many years ago the only time we talk about Thailand when we book our next holiday 

 

There are many variables to the outcome of the "take the girl out of Isaan" scenario - "could be catastrophic" being the worst case. It's like gambling, you can win/or lose big, up to you to make the bet. Some are content to just collect their win at the slot machine and go home. Others walk over to the poker table... I was just pointing out a potential for disaster of what the OP considers "Your best bet."

[VillageIdiot]

On 6/26/2024 at 4:57 PM, DeaconJohn said:

Your situation in Thailand depends on the kind of people you live among.

Most farangs come here too late in life.

Too late to master the language and achieve some degree of literacy.

Too late to attract anything better than a mercenary woman and subsequently become a cash cow for her greedy relatives.

Come in your prime or shortly after and you have a very good chance to make a successful marriage.

Thais take care of their own, and that would include a farang who has lived among them for many years as a husband and father.

Family means everything here.

Your position in the family defines who you are.

Without one you are nobody.

Farang tao-nahn eng.

Good point about age and the inability to learn Thai.

Jim Thompson, Bernie Trink, and many other well-known people tried and failed after coming here "too late" in life.

Living in a country and not speaking or understanding the language is a cognitive impairment akin to being deaf and dumb.

Some say it's not important as long as you stay in the tourist ghettos. I'd say it is more important there than anywhere else.

In those sleazy locations it is always open-season on foreigners in general and farangs in particular.

Away from the rip-offs and scams of holiday destinations it is always a good idea to know what is going on around you as well.

Some people seem to be born with an aptitude for learning languages - at least when they are younger.

I wasn't, but I overcame it to learn Thai because I didn't want my wife and our children to see me as an illiterate who couldn't speak the language.

[Chris Daley]

Treat her like dirt she will like it.  Keep the go bag ready.

[droopy swingers]

hi, i am movieng to pattaya soon i hope to meet some new friends there. my name is ronald from the netherlands please take care

[Chris Daley]

Remember she is the enemy.  A burden and a huge drain on your finances.  She has her family and she will marry the government.  You have nothing and no one looking out for you.  Anything that does so much mental and financial damage would normally be described as a parasite.  Keep the go bag ready.

[FritsSikkink]

On 6/27/2024 at 1:41 AM, shdmn said:

I liked the idea of living in Thailand up until very recently.  Not just because of the tax and visa hassles, but because of the air pollution.  That keeps getting worse every year.   Now I am looking at the Philippines.  The infrastructure and food is not as good, but the air quality is a lot better on average, and no tax/visa hassles.

Great choice: Philippine Disaster Report 2021 - Citizens Disaster Response Center | CDRC (cdrc-phil.com)

[AnnaBanana]

On 6/28/2024 at 9:36 PM, Chris Daley said:

Treat her like dirt she will like it.  Keep the go bag ready.

Bon voyage... and in that "go bag" take your severed genitals along with you.

[problemfarang]

yes it is if you have min 70-80K baht income per month for a very normal life. if you want more min 100K

 

dont believe that 200 baht in thailand youtube movies.

[BritManToo]

36 minutes ago, problemfarang said:

yes it is if you have min 70-80K baht income per month for a very normal life. if you want more min 100K

 

dont believe that 200 baht in thailand youtube movies.

Well, somehow I seem to have ended up here forever. House in the CM burbs with mortgage, Thai wife, our 12yo son, her 25yo daughter, pets, scooters, eMTB. All on under 50kbht/month.

 

So a fairly normal comfortable life. Don't really want for anything. Never mixed with the locals wherever I lived, happy enough to cycle every day, read books, watch movies, listen to music, post on AN. and hang out with my family (all English speakers).

 

I know you all want more, but I'm not quite sure what that more could be? Guess I'm lacking imagination, or maybe I'm lacking greed.

[Nick Carter icp]

8 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Well, somehow I seem to have ended up here forever. House in the CM burbs with mortgage, Thai wife, our 12yo son, her 25yo daughter, pets, scooters, eMTB. All on under 50kbht/month.

 

 

 

   Isn't that 25 year old step daughter the mother of your 12 year old Son ?

[problemfarang]

14 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Well, somehow I seem to have ended up here forever. House in the CM burbs with mortgage, Thai wife, our 12yo son, her 25yo daughter, pets, scooters, eMTB. All on under 50kbht/month.

 

So a fairly normal comfortable life. Don't really want for anything. Never mixed with the locals wherever I lived, happy enough to cycle every day, read books, watch movies, listen to music, post on AN. and hang out with my family (all English speakers).

 

I know you all want more, but I'm not quite sure what that more could be? Guess I'm lacking imagination, or maybe I'm lacking greed.

 

with all respect mortgage house 12 yo sun (school and etc. expenses) wife's 25 daughter (seems like you pay her everything too in this 50K) pets.. bills... i dont believe you are having a comfortable life. even if you sit at home and do nothing the 50K is simply not enough. if you live alone... maybe just maybe. 

 

im not talking about wanting more. im talking about a normal life. for example.. go and eat ice cream at a normal place once 2 weeks.. for example take your family just a day trip in weekends 1 time in a month... etc. these are not asking much. its a normal life.

 

even you live in a village with the expenses you mentioned... you can survive but.. comfy life.. nah

[fredwiggy]

9 hours ago, problemfarang said:

 

with all respect mortgage house 12 yo sun (school and etc. expenses) wife's 25 daughter (seems like you pay her everything too in this 50K) pets.. bills... i dont believe you are having a comfortable life. even if you sit at home and do nothing the 50K is simply not enough. if you live alone... maybe just maybe. 

 

im not talking about wanting more. im talking about a normal life. for example.. go and eat ice cream at a normal place once 2 weeks.. for example take your family just a day trip in weekends 1 time in a month... etc. these are not asking much. its a normal life.

 

even you live in a village with the expenses you mentioned... you can survive but.. comfy life.. nah

If he says he's living a comfortable life, that's what it is. Millions here live on less than 20K a month and they seem to get by okay. Being extravagant is never necessary and only gets some into trouble. What's "normal" for him might not be for you, for a number of reasons. Some people like to stay around the house and some like to travel. If your life is what you like, you're comfortable. No one needs gold, the biggest AC unit, a BMW, beach vacations monthly, more scooters than family members, dining at restaurants that cost more but give less, drinking yourself into oblivion, or any other number of things some feel the need to have.

 

There are many thousands of jobs people have that only take from society and take advantage of others. Those who foreclose on a family's home, making them homeless, corrupt officials who help themselves and other rich friends, people who move money around to make others rich, land developers who rape the earth for profit, big pharm companies pushing drugs that can cause more harm than good, police who take bribes to allow human trafficking, company Ceo's that make cutbacks so the top people can have a more comfortable lifestyle, these and other jobs that only take from others and don't help. People like these are living a lavish lifestyle, many of them here, throwing money around and making the locals think all foreigners are rich, which in itself causes many problems. Not something to be proud of or looked up to. Many super rich families got that way by having ancestors that raped and pillaged others, taking their land and money and sometimes killing their neighbors. These are many families now that are looked up to as being famous. Being frugal isn't wrong. In this world, it's necessary to ensure your and your family's future.

[EVENKEEL]

10 hours ago, problemfarang said:

 

with all respect mortgage house 12 yo sun (school and etc. expenses) wife's 25 daughter (seems like you pay her everything too in this 50K) pets.. bills... i dont believe you are having a comfortable life. even if you sit at home and do nothing the 50K is simply not enough. if you live alone... maybe just maybe. 

 

im not talking about wanting more. im talking about a normal life. for example.. go and eat ice cream at a normal place once 2 weeks.. for example take your family just a day trip in weekends 1 time in a month... etc. these are not asking much. its a normal life.

 

even you live in a village with the expenses you mentioned... you can survive but.. comfy life.. nah

I can roll through 120K/mo for the 3 of us. I try to save 10-20K/mo but that rarely works. No house or car payments. Air travel and hotels booked I usually pay with foreign CC. School fees are usually paid for with different money. We live far from extravagantly, Could we do it on 50K/mo? of course it's very doable but would be lacking. 

[2baht]

Give it a crack Roland, never try, never know!

[BritManToo]

11 hours ago, problemfarang said:

 

with all respect mortgage house 12 yo sun (school and etc. expenses) wife's 25 daughter (seems like you pay her everything too in this 50K) pets.. bills... i dont believe you are having a comfortable life. even if you sit at home and do nothing the 50K is simply not enough. if you live alone... maybe just maybe. 

 

im not talking about wanting more. im talking about a normal life. for example.. go and eat ice cream at a normal place once 2 weeks.. for example take your family just a day trip in weekends 1 time in a month... etc. these are not asking much. its a normal life.

 

even you live in a village with the expenses you mentioned... you can survive but.. comfy life.. nah

Splashed out on my son's education when he started high school earlier this year. Put him in the CEP class (Chinese and English Project).  8kbht/term + 5kbht for books and uniforms the first year. We also pay a private teacher for 3 evenings lessons a week to help his Thai reading and writing along. He's great at English though and seems to be doing well with Chinese.

 

If I were living alone I doubt I'd be able to spend more than 30kbht/month.

[Gottfrid]

On 6/26/2024 at 1:28 PM, RolandRat said:

I am thinking of getting a Thai wife and settling down. What do you guys think?

On 6/26/2024 at 1:40 PM, MalcolmB said:

In the same boat mate.

Been planning it since Covid. 
As long as you don’t make it public and rub it in their faces Thai women will turn a blind eye to your extra marital activities.

Add to that the weather, the cheap beer and delicious food and you are in paradise.

 

As you 2 guys have almost same amount of posts, I will reckon you have the same experience and knowledge. Out of reading, that would be 0.

But, by all means, go for it! With your vast experience, it will be a walk in the park.

[problemfarang]

36 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Splashed out on my son's education when he started high school earlier this year. Put him in the CEP class (Chinese and English Project).  8kbht/term + 5kbht for books and uniforms the first year. We also pay a private teacher for 3 evenings lessons a week to help his Thai reading and writing along. He's great at English though and seems to be doing well with Chinese.

 

If I were living alone I doubt I'd be able to spend more than 30kbht/month.

Im wishing you and your family the best sir

[Utalk2mutt]

15 hours ago, problemfarang said:

 

with all respect mortgage house 12 yo sun (school and etc. expenses) wife's 25 daughter (seems like you pay her everything too in this 50K) pets.. bills... i dont believe you are having a comfortable life. even if you sit at home and do nothing the 50K is simply not enough. if you live alone... maybe just maybe. 

 

im not talking about wanting more. im talking about a normal life. for example.. go and eat ice cream at a normal place once 2 weeks.. for example take your family just a day trip in weekends 1 time in a month... etc. these are not asking much. its a normal life.

 

even you live in a village with the expenses you mentioned... you can survive but.. comfy life.. nah

With all due respect to you I do believe BritManToo is leading a normal comfortable life like he says because I live the same way albeit I don’t have a mortgage or children to take care of. I live more than comfortably on 46K a month. I have all the usual expenses house (built for her let’s face it I’ll never own it), truck, 3 motorcycles and a small army of cats. We eat out a couple of times a week and if I want to meet mates in bars I can do that too. I’m not one for the bar girl scene as I’m happy with my Missis, comfy yes I am just as BritManToo claims he is.

[problemfarang]

13 minutes ago, Utalk2mutt said:

I don’t have a mortgage or children to take care of.

 

key sentence

[Doctor Tom]

On 6/26/2024 at 1:40 PM, MalcolmB said:

Thai women will turn a blind eye to your extra marital activities.

Some will, very many will not. You do it, they either slice you up with the kitchen knives, or do the same to you, in spades, then the new boyfriend does you over, having robbed you blind. Thai women invented the word 'jealous'.

[Will B Good]

On 6/26/2024 at 1:40 PM, MalcolmB said:

Thai women will turn a blind eye to your extra marital activities.

OMG....If only.

[susanlea]

On 6/27/2024 at 11:00 AM, fredwiggy said:

What if you're good with money, treat women well, as equals, with love and respect, are a good, available father, have good self esteem, take very good care of yourself, don't cheat, abuse or neglect, and still end up in an unhappy relationship? Don't fret, I already know the answer. You picked the wrong woman to marry. This is what he's been saying.

Means you have poor judgement. 

[fredwiggy]

Just now, susanlea said:

Means you have poor judgement. 

Before you comment on anyone's posts again, you might answer a couple questions I've asked before. Are you or have you been married and how did that work out, and how about other relationships, as others have told their tales. Most everyone alive has been burned at least once if not a few times. That's how you learn. Marrying your childhood sweetheart doesn't happen often. Everyone takes a chance in choosing a partner. Some marry after a week and stay together forever, and some divorce after 40 years. Most live with problems and no relationship doesn't have them.It's all what you can tolerate. As long as you have trust, no abuse, future alike plans and no neglect, most relationships can work.

[susanlea]

Just now, fredwiggy said:

Before you comment on anyone's posts again, you might answer a couple questions I've asked before. Are you or have you been married and how did that work out, and how about other relationships, as others have told their tales. Most everyone alive has been burned at least once if not a few times. That's how you learn. Marrying your childhood sweetheart doesn't happen often. Everyone takes a chance in choosing a partner. Some marry after a week and stay together forever, and some divorce after 40 years. Most live with problems and no relationship doesn't have them.It's all what you can tolerate. As long as you have trust, no abuse, future alike plans and no neglect, most relationships can work.

It wasn't a personal comment just about you. Poor judgement is common. A marriage under 10 years is a failure imo. My judgement has been good when it comes to relationships but poor when it comes to other things. We all make mistakes.

[rumak]

3 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

Before you comment on anyone's posts again, you might answer a couple questions I've asked before. Are you or have you been married and how did that work out, and how about other relationships, as others have told their tales. Most everyone alive has been burned at least once if not a few times. That's how you learn. Marrying your childhood sweetheart doesn't happen often. Everyone takes a chance in choosing a partner. Some marry after a week and stay together forever, and some divorce after 40 years. Most live with problems and no relationship doesn't have them.It's all what you can tolerate. As long as you have trust, no abuse, future alike plans and no neglect, most relationships can work.

 

good on you fred for calling out trolls.   I don't even bother,  as five word "comments" are like farts in the wind .......   and about as useful .   Not funny,  Not informative , Just some people wanting to be heard, but nothing to say .