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Who you really are as a person


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I'm separated from my wife. We may be drifting towards permanently living apart.

 

We'll still be friends, be each other's medical power of attorney, stay legally married for various practical reasons, but just call it day. It may complicate my future girlfriend situation by still being married, but whatever.

 

I was listening to Tara Brach, and she said:

 

We get two lives. And the second one begins when we realize we only get one.

 

Things change, be kind, live your second life.

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4 hours ago, BritManToo said:

A few years back someone told me 'you're not a good person', my reply was I never claimed to be anything but bad.

 

LOL, another good response would be "not for you but I'm good for me".

 

Once of the several resolutions I made when retiring a few years ago was to prioritize doing things for my own enjoyment.  I worked all those years sacrificing and postponing my own joy for the betterment of other people, so now it's time to focus on myself and my immediate family, plus occasionally help a few deserving people out here and there where a little bit of time, effort or resources from me go a long way for them. 

 

 

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49 minutes ago, susanlea said:

Use protection

 

Oh dont misunderatand that part. I have lived many times for myself in that regard. Lifetimes worth. 

 

But yes I will protection as life goes on. 

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1 hour ago, BobBKK said:

From getting older, I learned that I'm more compassionate now and reflect on how I could have been kinder earlier in my life. 

dont be kind to aholes.

that will wear you out. 

if someone's an ahole, bring yourself down to their level.

 

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3 hours ago, cowellandrew said:

I thought it was put on your oxygen mask before helping others

As you could be flying over land and the life jacket wont be of much use!

😂😁🤔🐘

 

it is, or you could be unconscious well before you get a chance to help others. Never heard it for life vests.

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The Ancient Greeks said it thousands of years before Jimmy Carr. " Know yourself"

 

The Romans added " A healthy mind in a healthy body"

 

IMO there is always positive feedback from helping others.

 

I am a minimalist. I don't need the newest possessions to impress friends, relatives and neighbors.

 

I try to be fair with people, and expect it in return.

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4 hours ago, Ralf001 said:

I had one of those many years ago, applying for a job. Which I got, so the results were presumably acceptable.

 

Judging by the number of sociopaths and psychopaths that make it into senior management nowadays, perhaps the test is no longer effective.

 

Just imagine applying it to every ASEAN poster.

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1 hour ago, georgegeorgia said:

I'm glad you deleted it and thankyou ,what you wrote about that other poster was unacceptable and malice and traumatic .

Thankyou for realising  that 🙏

 

Was it at least good ? I didn't see it. 

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1 hour ago, georgegeorgia said:

I'm glad you deleted it and thankyou ,what you wrote about that other poster was unacceptable and malice and traumatic .

Thankyou for realising  that 🙏

Funny. It was more probably unwelcome advice being that some older posters might think that a 47 year old poster might be a bit young to be seemingly hanging around here so much. The other post was wishing someone well. But I thought - as a non prolific poster  - no one cares so delete. 

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13 hours ago, BritManToo said:

This was a mistake I also made. But luckily my Brit wife taught me (during divorce) only to care about me ...... me me me me me.

 

Nobody else matters!

 

If you are a decent parent, your kids do.

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"Asylums are full of the most sensitive people who take nervous breakdowns trying to solve everyone's problems. 

 

Pubs are full of utter b*stards trying to drown evil memories."

 

Said to me by a priest at my father-in-laws funeral, a notorious "devil by the fireside, angel on the outside" type.

 

I agree with that. I was talking to an old school friend last night and we counted out the number of b*stards we knew that are prematurely dead. 

 

But I'll add one. 

 

It's amazing the number of men who now go through life untested. No national service, no wars, working easy jobs without the brutality seen in the emergency services etc

 

Talking to.that same guy last night we bemoaned the price the youngsters in our families have paid due to drugs. 

 

One nephew asked his uncle if he could borrow £500 to buy a van to cut grass. His father said no, I said yes, his uncle agreed with me. 

 

Why? 

 

We know that he might go out and blow the money on chemicals, but also, he might buy the van and cut grass. As I pointed out - 

 

If men like us turn our backs on our sons and nephews what kind of men are we? 

 

Condemnation or rehabilitation - what would you choose? 

 

 

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2 hours ago, Fat is a type of crazy said:

Funny. It was more probably unwelcome advice being that some older posters might think that a 47 year old poster might be a bit young to be seemingly hanging around here so much. The other post was wishing someone well. But I thought - as a non prolific poster  - no one cares so delete. 

You certainly don't the right thing Fatty , I'm proud of you , I'm glad you realised that age discrimination has no place not only on this board but in society.🙏

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5 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

You certainly don't the right thing Fatty , I'm proud of you , I'm glad you realised that age discrimination has no place not only on this board but in society.🙏

Age discrimination is as old as prostitution, even the different age classes in ancient Rome would bemoan each other. We don't live in Toy town and nobody has the god given right to not feel slighted, rebuked, or even insulted, praise would lose its meaning if fairy dust was blown into everyone's face. Indeed, 'inappropriate' remarks can be a wake up call to the recipient. Every age has its capabilities and drawbacks, to be told one is too old to sell fashion clothes to teenagers or too young to be an advice giver is just telling it as it is. Today I became 76 and am grateful for the good physical and mental condition I find myself in but I know my limitations however I am also aware of the vast accumulation of knowledge that I possess.......and I just don't care. 

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6 hours ago, theblether said:

"Asylums are full of the most sensitive people who take nervous breakdowns trying to solve everyone's problems. 

 

Pubs are full of utter b*stards trying to drown evil memories."

 

Said to me by a priest at my father-in-laws funeral, a notorious "devil by the fireside, angel on the outside" type.

 

I agree with that. I was talking to an old school friend last night and we counted out the number of b*stards we knew that are prematurely dead. 

 

But I'll add one. 

 

It's amazing the number of men who now go through life untested. No national service, no wars, working easy jobs without the brutality seen in the emergency services etc

 

Talking to.that same guy last night we bemoaned the price the youngsters in our families have paid due to drugs. 

 

One nephew asked his uncle if he could borrow £500 to buy a van to cut grass. His father said no, I said yes, his uncle agreed with me. 

 

Why? 

 

We know that he might go out and blow the money on chemicals, but also, he might buy the van and cut grass. As I pointed out - 

 

If men like us turn our backs on our sons and nephews what kind of men are we? 

 

Condemnation or rehabilitation - what would you choose? 

 

 

Interesting, thanks for that.

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8 hours ago, Lacessit said:

I had one of those many years ago, applying for a job. Which I got, so the results were presumably acceptable.

 

Judging by the number of sociopaths and psychopaths that make it into senior management nowadays, perhaps the test is no longer effective.

 

Just imagine applying it to every ASEAN poster.

I don't see any evil people on here. If you do maybe that's baggage from the past.

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17 hours ago, cowellandrew said:

I thought it was put on your oxygen mask before helping others

As you could be flying over land and the life jacket wont be of much use!

😂😁🤔🐘

See, you are the bright one 😉 

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43 minutes ago, susanlea said:

I don't see any evil people on here. If you do maybe that's baggage from the past.

I was not aware I was implying there were evil people on here. That is your interpretation of my post.

 

However, there are quite a few misguided and stupid ones.

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15 hours ago, Prubangboy said:

I'm separated from my wife. We may be drifting towards permanently living apart.

We'll still be friends, be each other's medical power of attorney, stay legally married for various practical reasons, but just call it day. It may complicate my future girlfriend situation by still being married, but whatever.

I was listening to Tara Brach, and she said:

We get two lives. And the second one begins when we realize we only get one.

Things change, be kind, live your second life.

Finish it with the wife mate - there aint no upside for you - but lots of downsides.

Yes if you get a GF it will be complicated - or if the wife needs something - and so many other reasons - cut it.

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