Thai Wife Issues in the UK

[FritsSikkink]

3 hours ago, djb687 said:

She's lived here for about a year now. No children together and there is intimacy but not very much like once a week.

Where in the UK do you live? The weather is not one of its favored attractions. Does she work? Have any friends?

Looks like she is bored out of her mind and misses family and friends. Ever thought about that before you brought her to a strange country?

[still kicking]

I don't know what your problem is I am married ton a Thai lady for about 21 years and no kids either (we live in OZ)  she goes in holidays to Thailand by herself and sometimes we go together but she always comes back after visiting family in Thailand. She used to have Thai friends in OZ but split with them she only got one now. We have a Buddhist temple here but she only been ones in many years. Maybe she does not like the UK climate? Let her go if she does not come back it just means she does not love you.

[djb687]

@still kicking Does your Thai wife consult with you before going or just say "i'm going next week" and goes? I think you are right when you say "Let her go if she does not come back it just means she does not love you." thats a good test of relationship I suppose.

[Hummin]

Useally it is me who need some space, not her

[freedomnow]

She might not be returning, hence the behaviour changes and distancing....

[BritManToo]

9 hours ago, djb687 said:

We were together for a year and then married for a year.

There are 3 common reasons for women behaving like this.

1.depression

2. seeing another guy

3. menopause (age 45+)

 

None of the possible outcomes are all that great for you or your relationship.

[fredwiggy]

I'm always one for doing whatever you can to try and make a relationship work, especially involving children, but I've had my share of women who just weren't right and this I actually saw close to the beginning but didn't listen to my heart because of attraction. What Richard and Britman said are truths. Depression makes people isolate, and her thinking Thailand will help is just because it's more familiar to her, even though you can't escape depression problems. Her not wanting to socialize with your family is a red flag not to be ignored.

 

She's your wife, and should take an active interest in your family. The same goes for you if she had any there. Is she on her phone a lot? She might be corresponding with another man back in Thailand, especially one she may have known before. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but we've all been there, and there's only one way out if that's the case. Let her go.

 

What you need to do now is sit down and talk with her, asking her questions about why she's been acting this way. Let her do the talking. It might be menopause, especially if she's at that age, and you can google information about this online for what to expect, but with menopause you usually get happiness mixed with anger, along with these...........

Common symptoms of the menopause include:

• anxiety
• changes in mood – such as low mood or irritability
• changes in skin conditions, including dryness or increase in oiliness and onset of adult acne
• difficulty sleeping – this may make you feel tired and irritable during the day
• discomfort during sex
• feelings of loss of self
• hair loss or thinning
• headaches or migraines
• hot flushes – short, sudden feelings of heat, usually in the face, neck and chest, which can make your skin red and sweaty
• increase in facial hair
• joint stiffness, aches and pains
• loss of self-confidence
• night sweats – hot flushes that occur at night
• palpitations – heartbeats that suddenly become more noticeable
• problems with memory, concentration and ‘brain fog’
• recurrent urinary tract infections (UTIs), such as cystitis
• urge and stress incontinence
• reduced sex drive (libido)
• tinnitus
• vaginal dryness and pain....................................Not wanting you to go with her to Thailand is a huge red flag, as that's not about her missing Thailand and friends. She surely might be bored with the UK, but if she was really into the relationship, she would be talking to you, asking you to do more things with her. Traveling, dining out, movies, concerts etc. Her eating Thai food daily is good, but saying it's not the same is an excuse. Any Thai woman who knows how to cook can create the same recipes exactly anywhere in the world as all the ingredients are available.
•  
• The weather in the UK isn't the greatest as I've seen many attest, so that's where traveling comes into play. Thailand isn't great either, unless heat and humidity is your thing, along with raining half the year. One's just as bad as the other, besides the fact warmer weather is easier to get used to. Since you have no children, it's much easier to just let her go and not waste any more time with the wrong person. Again, if you can work things out, that's the best approach, but if you can't, letting her go and finding another one is a better future plan.

[JAS21]

Take here somewhere nice to stay every other weekend … there must be lots of offers available. And take her to see her friends sometimes

[mokwit]

11 hours ago, djb687 said:

So what do you suggest I do about this? Clearly talking to her doesn't appear to work.

Accept that the relationship is never going to work.

[Chadnik]

10 hours ago, djb687 said:

I know she misses food, despite cooking Thai food every single day she says its not the same as in Thailand.

 

If she's depressed,  disappointed then ask her if she wants to go back to Thailand! What did she expect? Possible she's so simple she didn't know OR thought it a lark, joyride on your money

 

Did you promise a rose garden or lead her on? Don't get me wrong it's very possible that she dreamed it all up in head

 

Well, that's an excuse imo. When you decide to live in another country you're going to have a change of lifestyle and that is going to be in large part food.

 

Possible she's far more of a simple mind than you ever imagined and she just never dreamed of the changes she's experiencing. Having said that seeing that she's not very expressive I'd be disinclined to give her that. Just sitting in another room on the phone.. not discussing with you HER issues .. no way.

 

Perhaps she thought that living in your home was going to be the same as a palace and the England was Camelot?

 

Many women in Thailand have understood for years that moving outside Thailand may mean a very average life with a very average husband and lots of hard work.

 

WE know how difficult and shi* living in west is now. They may not

 

Thai women can be quite lazy. I recall many attractive bar girls that were my friend decades ago in Pattaya returning from Europe in particular Netherlands and all of them were shocked at how hard life was and how hard their boyfriend had to work. This is Holland and 25 years ago

 

The fairy tales of long ago married to a simple guy that had a full pension, cars and house paid for with boatloads of money to splash on her and her family - long gone as the people in the west struggle to keep their heads afloat.

 

This was common knowledge as far back as the early 2000s in Pattaya where I had lived. Many of the girls were fine with simply living in Thailand and chatting on internet grubbing money off of the internet - which was essentially free money. This boosted, supplemented the other shenanigans they get up to you.

 

My wife has a cousin in Sweden who has been an excellent wife to the gentleman she is married. She's working as a caregiver and absolutely beat. It's hard difficult work and supporting the Swedish guy also not easy. But she does it without complaining, keeps The home and sends money back to her family.

 

I think maybe you've found a province princess. She woke up in a simple home under cloudy UK skies, no friends, but no one to chat with and it's taking as toll.

 

On the other hand, she could basically be extorting you as I was reluctant to say prior. If this is the case she will now make your life miserable until you agree to a settlement.

 

** Thai and Philipino women have all sorts of internet sites, chat on how to totally skewer foreign men. This is especially true if they're young and quite attractive. They use the western guy for a ticket out and then ruin the relationship. They move for divorce and if not possible then they often go to the police and claim beating, enter the court system and get a divorce settlement against you. A few months later they are shopping for some rich guy, doing only fans or worse. Very, very real

 

Try to get it her back to Thailand and then don't buy to get back. She'll have to contend with that. She'll need to borrow money to get herself back to you okay, get herself from the airport to your home... If she can't get herself back to the UK then the settlement negotiations are far more in your favor

 

But when we bring women back to our home country as we lose a lot of leverage. It's not a manipulative thing it's you're losing leverage over your property and assets none of which is entitled especially just entering a marriage.

 

Personally, I wouldn't bring a woman back to my home country unless she has some sort of skill or at least ambition and I had lived with her in her home country for a number of years. I would never marry a woman that I met on the internet, visited a few times in her home country perhaps had some sort of longish stay together with her. No way.

 

IF she came out of a bar or massage joint she knows all the angles you have to take this into consideration.

Edited Tuesday at 12:53 AM by Chadnik

[mokwit]

35 minutes ago, Chadnik said:

** Thai and Philipino women have all sorts of internet sites

They also have the old biddies in the village managing your relationship by remote.