Why Do So Many Foreign Men Still Marry Short-Time Girls?

[KhunLA]

"When one sits down and speaks with these girls, it doesn’t take long for the average dude to realize what he’s dealing with. Many of them are skilled manipulators, adept at lying, and are very calculating in their overall approach to money extraction. They also know how to push a man's buttons to get what they want, whether it’s money, gifts, travel and/or marriage. "

 

As are so many other people not in the business, male & female, in all aspects of life.  Not much difference than 'office politics' or relationships, marriages of non working gals, guys.

[MalcolmB]

1 hour ago, ChumpChange said:

Sounds lovely. What's not to like about her? Maybe you can even get her to have sex with you while you're taking a dump. 

Only if I am on top 

[Chwooly]

How do you differentiate between a short time girl and a not short time girl?  Honestly I have had more honest conversations with bar girls here in Thailand then girls I have met at work or socially thru friends in the West. I have met girls "professionals" IE nurses, para legals and even 7-11 clerks that were not "Short-time" but yet willing to let me pay them for sex for the extra money. 

[Will B Good]

Just now, Chwooly said:

How do you differentiate between a short time girl and a not short time girl?  Honestly I have had more honest conversations with bar girls here in Thailand then girls I have met at work or socially thru friends in the West. I have met girls "professionals" IE nurses, para legals and even 7-11 clerks that were not "Short-time" but yet willing to let me pay them for sex for the extra money. 

 

Fair point. 

 

I met up with a very attractive girl, a shift supervisor at Seagate Hard Drives in BKK. Dated a few times and then.......same old scenario developed as you might expect with a bar girl.

 

Same thing happened with a girl who had a good job working in accounts at Central World.....

[spidermike007]

Utter desperation. And one also has to take into account that a lot of men who move here from Western countries move here with a tremendous level of emotional vulnerability, after having been dealt many blows by local women back home, and after having been asked to jump through ridiculously high hurdles on a regular basis. 

 

However, the chances of success are lkikey in proportion to how long the woman has been playing the game. It is my contention that it depends on a few factors. The first and most important factor is how many? How many men has she been with? If she is relatively new, and has only gotten with between 20-200 men, more than likely she is still sane, and could possess a good heart. If she has gotten with over 200, the chances decrease. If over 500, harder for her to relate to men as decent human beings. Once you get to the "around the world level", where she has been with over 1,000 men, all bets are off. The heart hardens, and more than likely she is bitter for life. I am sure there are exceptions. But, the risk in getting involved with a highly experienced bar girl, or massage girl, is great. Some short time girls who are really hot and young will get with three or four guys a day, 6 days a week, so run the numbers we are talking about upwards of 5,000 plus. 

 

With the exception of the men who are clever enough to hire a private detective to look into her background, and pay some real money to do it right, there is no way to know. They all have stories. And most of the stories are ones that they know we want to hear. So many times I have heard friends say, "Oh no, she is new. She has only been working at the bar two weeks. I was her first customer. She worked in a factory before that. I could tell how innocent she was'. Yeah right!

[topcat333]

Over 10 years with mine, and she is still fulfilling my fantasies. Every relationship is a risk. I'll never try to give anyone relationship advice beyond, "Open your eyes and live in reality, at least 80% of the time!"

[Chwooly]

8 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

Utter desperation. And one also has to take into account that a lot of men who move here from Western countries move here with a tremendous level of emotional vulnerability, after having been dealt many blows by local women back home, and after having been asked to jump through ridiculously high hurdles on a regular basis. 

 

However, the chances of success are lkikey in proportion to how long the woman has been playing the game. It is my contention that it depends on a few factors. The first and most important factor is how many? How many men has she been with? If she is relatively new, and has only gotten with between 20-200 men, more than likely she is still sane, and could possess a good heart. If she has gotten with over 200, the chances decrease. If over 500, harder for her to relate to men as decent human beings. Once you get to the "around the world level", where she has been with over 1,000 men, all bets are off. The heart hardens, and more than likely she is bitter for life. I am sure there are exceptions. But, the risk in getting involved with a highly experienced bar girl, or massage girl, is great. Some short time girls who are really hot and young will get with three or four guys a day, 6 days a week, so run the numbers we are talking about upwards of 5,000 plus. 

 

With the exception of the men who are clever enough to hire a private detective to look into her background, and pay some real money to do it right, there is no way to know. They all have stories. And most of the stories are ones that they know we want to hear. So many times I have heard friends say, "Oh no, she is new. She has only been working at the bar two weeks. I was her first customer. She worked in a factory before that. I could tell how innocent she was'. Yeah right!

Interesting, I keep having friends tell me that I should look at older women as they have already been used and abused and might appreciate a stable and steady guy especially one that is no longer looking to shag as many as possible. And that an older 1 might be more mature and better able to handle the emotional baggage you speak of.

 

I think the reality is that there are good and bad and unfortunately in my experience the girls coming to Pattaya that fit the less then 200 men are also being trained by the women in the 2000 men range and your assumption that they will be sane and not look at men as animals is a little naïve and I don't say that to be insulting. 

 

It wasn't so bad back in the day but i wasn't smart enough to find and latch on to one when i was younger and more desirable 555

[kiwikeith]

12 hours ago, JK-Trilly said:

This post is about the question of marriage, which comes up quite often in conversations about expats in Thailand. I’m obviously referring to a possible marriage to a woman who works in the sex industry, specifically the ones offering short-term sexual services for money. While I have also indulged personally, I can’t imagine ever marrying one of them.

When one sits down and speaks with these girls, it doesn’t take long for the average dude to realize what he’s dealing with. Many of them are skilled manipulators, adept at lying, and are very calculating in their overall approach to money extraction. They also know how to push a man's buttons to get what they want, whether it’s money, gifts, travel and/or marriage. These aren’t qualities I’d associate with someone who would make a good wife or genuinely care for you, your needs, or even be a trustworthy and reliable life partner.

Another thing I consider is their background. Many short-time girls come from impoverished, rural, peasant-class environments. Their education is often minimal, and they generally know little about the world beyond their own limited life experiences in Thailand. Many come from broken homes where they’ve had to fend for themselves from an early age, which understandably shapes their worldview, survivalist instincts and agendas in ways that don't align well with what men seek in a life-partner.

Emotionally, these women can also be challenging to deal with on a daily basis. Arguments over trivial matters can become frequent, as their level of emotional maturity and lack of intellectuality can get them stuck in a cycle of insecurity and jealousy. They may hold onto strange superstitions, have beliefs in old wives’ tales, and ghosts which can lead to further misunderstandings or clashes in perspective. This isn’t to say they’re “bad people” in any way, but rather that their life experiences and upbringing may not have prepared them for the type of relationship foreign men are hoping for.

Another important consideration is the impact of their past work on their ability to form healthy relationships. If someone has spent years engaging with men purely through transactional relationships, where money is the driving factor, it can be hard for them to understand or value other aspects of a male-female partnership. Concepts like trust, emotional intimacy, and mutual respect might take a backseat to financial expectations. Additionally, working as a sex worker for an extended period can leave emotional scars or cause anger issues and psychological trauma that could become irreparable. The constant need to mask true emotions, deal with rejection or exploitation, and navigate an environment centered around money and power dynamics can make it difficult for them to trust, connect, or even open up fully in a long-term relationship. This emotional baggage usually weighs heavily on both partners, often creating friction and misunderstandings that become evident over time.

So why do men fall for them? Is it loneliness, the thrill of saving someone, or simply the charm and beauty that these girls exude? Many short-time girls are experts at creating the illusion of affection and love. They are good at making a man feel special, even if it is just for a fleeting moment. Perhaps for some men, this simple hoax becomes addictive, and they mistake it for something real when it is not. Another factor could be a lack of understanding about the cultural and social realities that these women come from. Some men may feel a sense of responsibility or even pity and think they can “rescue” these women from their perils. But, more often than not, these relationships don’t end with the fairy tale type ending they envisioned.

For those who marry these girls, the question remains: do they truly believe they’ve found love, or are they happy to settle for the bits of attention and care they feel they can’t get elsewhere? And then what happens if and when more serious financial dynamics of the relationship come into play? Many of these marriages seem to revolve around money, with the man acting as a provider and the woman expecting continued support for her and, often, her family.

In my opinion, marrying a short-time girl is a gamble at best where the odds are rarely stacked in a man's favor. While there are exceptions, and some relationships do genuinely work out, the majority seem fraught with issues. These women, by the nature of their work and upbringing, are often ill-equipped to handle the demands of a long-term partnership in the way many men might have hoped for.

 

You marry one thats 25 and you are 55, then if your lucky she will still be with you when your 75, she will be 45 and probably look 30. You may have run out of money by then and be a bit frail, at which time you will be dumped, and probably she will have a house you brought for her and she will  move on to the next rich man.

Same same story I hear every day, and seen it happen so many times often ending up in disaster.

[1FinickyOne]

12 hours ago, JK-Trilly said:

come from impoverished, rural, peasant-class environments.

And you are lord of the manner class? 

[Chwooly]

3 minutes ago, kiwikeith said:

You marry one thats 25 and you are 55, then if your lucky she will still be with you when your 75, she will be 45 and probably look 30. You may have run out of money by then and be a bit frail, at which time you will be dumped, and probably she will have a house you brought for her and she will  move on to the next rich man.

Same same story I hear every day, and seen it happen so many times often ending up in disaster.

And this is different from the woman who you marry at 20, have 2 kids with, Stops having sex with you at 40, browbeats you endlessly because  you have been working nonstop to provide for her and the the kids. then divorces you to find herself and you end up having to give her the house and pay her alimony how? 

[Will B Good]

8 minutes ago, kiwikeith said:

You marry one thats 25 and you are 55, then if your lucky she will still be with you when your 75, she will be 45 and probably look 30. You may have run out of money by then and be a bit frail, at which time you will be dumped, and probably she will have a house you brought for her and she will  move on to the next rich man.

Same same story I hear every day, and seen it happen so many times often ending up in disaster.

 

Wow......wife is 26 years younger than me.....and she's still better looking than 99% of the girls we see in BKK soi 4/7/8/11.

 

I am getting on a bit, but she bought the house, land and farm that we live in/on.......am I still going to get chucked out I wonder?

 

 

 

[kiwikeith]

1 minute ago, Chwooly said:

And this is different from the woman who you marry at 20, have 2 kids with, Stops having sex with you at 40, browbeats you endlessly because  you have been working nonstop to provide for her and the the kids. then divorces you to find herself and you end up having to give her the house and pay her alimony how? 

Not much difference, you get half the house but in Thailand the girl gets the lot, but I have seen many marriages that the Thai women locks after the man well until death they do part. They are not all bad, in fact European marriages may have a greater failure rate if anyone knows the stats.

[Will B Good]

4 minutes ago, Chwooly said:

And this is different from the woman who you marry at 20, have 2 kids with, Stops having sex with you at 40, browbeats you endlessly because  you have been working nonstop to provide for her and the the kids. then divorces you to find herself and you end up having to give her the house and pay her alimony how? 

 

Well they say your marriage is just like a hurricane.......all warm, cosy and calm at first......then BOOM........ your house has gone.

[newbee2022]

Because they are desperate that nobody would take them😁

[Will B Good]

1 minute ago, kiwikeith said:

Not much difference, you get half the house but in Thailand the girl gets the lot, but I have seen many marriages that the Thai women locks after the man well until death they do part. They are not all bad, in fact European marriages may have a greater failure rate if anyone knows the stats.

....or worse.....both partners tough it out in shared misery as they see no real alternatives to the lives they are leading.

[Will B Good]

Just now, newbee2022 said:

Because they are desperate that nobody would take them😁

 

 

The men or the girls?.....or both?

[BritManToo]

12 hours ago, JK-Trilly said:

When one sits down and speaks with these girls, it doesn’t take long for the average dude to realize what he’s dealing with. Many of them are skilled manipulators, adept at lying, and are very calculating in their overall approach to money extraction. They also know how to push a man's buttons to get what they want, whether it’s money, gifts, travel and/or marriage. These aren’t qualities I’d associate with someone who would make a good wife or genuinely care for you, your needs, or even be a trustworthy and reliable life partner.

Another thing I consider is their background. Many short-time girls come from impoverished, rural, peasant-class environments. Their education is often minimal, and they generally know little about the world beyond their own limited life experiences in Thailand. Many come from broken homes where they’ve had to fend for themselves from an early age, which understandably shapes their worldview, survivalist instincts and agendas in ways that don't align well with what men seek in a life-partner.

Emotionally, these women can also be challenging to deal with on a daily basis. Arguments over trivial matters can become frequent, as their level of emotional maturity and lack of intellectuality can get them stuck in a cycle of insecurity and jealousy. They may hold onto strange superstitions, have beliefs in old wives’ tales, and ghosts which can lead to further misunderstandings or clashes in perspective. This isn’t to say they’re “bad people” in any way, but rather that their life experiences and upbringing may not have prepared them for the type of relationship foreign men are hoping for.

3 items here,

 

1. my past job was to manipulate the British population, so these girls have nothing on me (skill wise).

 

2. send them to high school then university, it doesn't cost much and gives them something to do while they adapt to their new life.

 

3. never argue with anyone over anything at anytime, it's totally pointless behaviour, go for a walk, or a drink, or listen to music with headphones.

 

Most western men never learn the art of manipulation, I don't know why as it's a relatively easy skill to master.

[newbee2022]

1 minute ago, Will B Good said:

 

 

The men or the girls?.....or both?

You said it😂

[nauseus]

2 hours ago, ChumpChange said:

Sounds lovely. What's not to like about her? Maybe you can even get her to have sex with you while you're taking a dump. 

 

That should be a new topic methinks. The debauchery section?

[nauseus]

19 minutes ago, Will B Good said:

 

Wow......wife is 26 years younger than me.....and she's still better looking than 99% of the girls we see in BKK soi 4/7/8/11.

 

I am getting on a bit, but she bought the house, land and farm that we live in/on.......am I still going to get chucked out I wonder?

 

 

 

 

Better not let her see your posts! 🤣

[Cereal]

3 hours ago, ChumpChange said:

Sounds lovely. What's not to like about her? Maybe you can even get her to have sex with you while you're taking a dump. 

That's called a blumpkin!

[Hummin]

2 hours ago, KhunLA said:

"When one sits down and speaks with these girls, it doesn’t take long for the average dude to realize what he’s dealing with. Many of them are skilled manipulators, adept at lying, and are very calculating in their overall approach to money extraction. They also know how to push a man's buttons to get what they want, whether it’s money, gifts, travel and/or marriage. "

 

As are so many other people not in the business, male & female, in all aspects of life.  Not much difference than 'office politics' or relationships, marriages of non working gals, guys.

There is good people, and there is bad people, and even those who is of good and bad mixture, depending of the present circumstances. I prefer a 80/20 mix to spice things up a bit.

[cjinchiangrai]

4 hours ago, BarBoy said:

Because they have small willy's and small wallets and that's the best they can get! 

A confession from someone that can't find Pattaya?

[Thingamabob]

13 hours ago, JK-Trilly said:

This post is about the question of marriage, which comes up quite often in conversations about expats in Thailand. I’m obviously referring to a possible marriage to a woman who works in the sex industry, specifically the ones offering short-term sexual services for money. While I have also indulged personally, I can’t imagine ever marrying one of them.

When one sits down and speaks with these girls, it doesn’t take long for the average dude to realize what he’s dealing with. Many of them are skilled manipulators, adept at lying, and are very calculating in their overall approach to money extraction. They also know how to push a man's buttons to get what they want, whether it’s money, gifts, travel and/or marriage. These aren’t qualities I’d associate with someone who would make a good wife or genuinely care for you, your needs, or even be a trustworthy and reliable life partner.

Another thing I consider is their background. Many short-time girls come from impoverished, rural, peasant-class environments. Their education is often minimal, and they generally know little about the world beyond their own limited life experiences in Thailand. Many come from broken homes where they’ve had to fend for themselves from an early age, which understandably shapes their worldview, survivalist instincts and agendas in ways that don't align well with what men seek in a life-partner.

Emotionally, these women can also be challenging to deal with on a daily basis. Arguments over trivial matters can become frequent, as their level of emotional maturity and lack of intellectuality can get them stuck in a cycle of insecurity and jealousy. They may hold onto strange superstitions, have beliefs in old wives’ tales, and ghosts which can lead to further misunderstandings or clashes in perspective. This isn’t to say they’re “bad people” in any way, but rather that their life experiences and upbringing may not have prepared them for the type of relationship foreign men are hoping for.

Another important consideration is the impact of their past work on their ability to form healthy relationships. If someone has spent years engaging with men purely through transactional relationships, where money is the driving factor, it can be hard for them to understand or value other aspects of a male-female partnership. Concepts like trust, emotional intimacy, and mutual respect might take a backseat to financial expectations. Additionally, working as a sex worker for an extended period can leave emotional scars or cause anger issues and psychological trauma that could become irreparable. The constant need to mask true emotions, deal with rejection or exploitation, and navigate an environment centered around money and power dynamics can make it difficult for them to trust, connect, or even open up fully in a long-term relationship. This emotional baggage usually weighs heavily on both partners, often creating friction and misunderstandings that become evident over time.

So why do men fall for them? Is it loneliness, the thrill of saving someone, or simply the charm and beauty that these girls exude? Many short-time girls are experts at creating the illusion of affection and love. They are good at making a man feel special, even if it is just for a fleeting moment. Perhaps for some men, this simple hoax becomes addictive, and they mistake it for something real when it is not. Another factor could be a lack of understanding about the cultural and social realities that these women come from. Some men may feel a sense of responsibility or even pity and think they can “rescue” these women from their perils. But, more often than not, these relationships don’t end with the fairy tale type ending they envisioned.

For those who marry these girls, the question remains: do they truly believe they’ve found love, or are they happy to settle for the bits of attention and care they feel they can’t get elsewhere? And then what happens if and when more serious financial dynamics of the relationship come into play? Many of these marriages seem to revolve around money, with the man acting as a provider and the woman expecting continued support for her and, often, her family.

In my opinion, marrying a short-time girl is a gamble at best where the odds are rarely stacked in a man's favor. While there are exceptions, and some relationships do genuinely work out, the majority seem fraught with issues. These women, by the nature of their work and upbringing, are often ill-equipped to handle the demands of a long-term partnership in the way many men might have hoped for.

 

Over the years I have known several highly successful and happy marriages between western foreigners and bar girls. It doesn't do to generalise on such issues.

 

[ross163103]

As Robin Williams said; "God gave man a penis and a brain but only enogh blood to run one at a time."

[MalcolmB]

2 hours ago, topcat333 said:

Over 10 years with mine, and she is still fulfilling my fantasies. Every relationship is a risk. I'll never try to give anyone relationship advice beyond, "Open your eyes and live in reality, at least 80% of the time!"

Does she have a job or are you paying her to be full time?

[stigooo]

13 hours ago, JK-Trilly said:

This post is about the question of marriage, which comes up quite often in conversations about expats in Thailand. I’m obviously referring to a possible marriage to a woman who works in the sex industry, specifically the ones offering short-term sexual services for money. While I have also indulged personally, I can’t imagine ever marrying one of them.

 

A good question, which I also asked myself in the past. Now my life has developed in a different way. Now we are getting married in January 2025, after 4 years of being together. She has been to Switzerland several times and of course I have been to Thailand several times.

 

 

13 hours ago, JK-Trilly said:

When one sits down and speaks with these girls, it doesn’t take long for the average dude to realize what he’s dealing with. Many of them are skilled manipulators, adept at lying, and are very calculating in their overall approach to money extraction. They also know how to push a man's buttons to get what they want, whether it’s money, gifts, travel and/or marriage. These aren’t qualities I’d associate with someone who would make a good wife or genuinely care for you, your needs, or even be a trustworthy and reliable life partner.

Another thing I consider is their background. Many short-time girls come from impoverished, rural, peasant-class environments. Their education is often minimal, and they generally know little about the world beyond their own limited life experiences in Thailand. Many come from broken homes where they’ve had to fend for themselves from an early age, which understandably shapes their worldview, survivalist instincts and agendas in ways that don't align well with what men seek in a life-partner.

 

I was probably a little lucky that my partner had only been in the sex industry for 2.5 months before we met. During the first 4 weeks together, things were relaxed and moving towards a relationship. During this time, she didn't demand anything from me, no money and no obligations.
I was more demanding with her. I need a sign that she is willing to keep the relationship. In the end, we agreed that she would go back to Isan, look for work there and I would help her out if the salary wasn't enough. On average, this is around 2500-3000 baht per month, which I can live on very well.
Yes, her education in Isan wasn't that great. Nevertheless, she has taken an English course and 2 German courses in the last few years. She also wants to continue her education and go to school in Switzerland.

 

 

13 hours ago, JK-Trilly said:

Another important consideration is the impact of their past work on their ability to form healthy relationships. If someone has spent years engaging with men purely through transactional relationships, where money is the driving factor, it can be hard for them to understand or value other aspects of a male-female partnership. Concepts like trust, emotional intimacy, and mutual respect might take a backseat to financial expectations. Additionally, working as a sex worker for an extended period can leave emotional scars or cause anger issues and psychological trauma that could become irreparable. The constant need to mask true emotions, deal with rejection or exploitation, and navigate an environment centered around money and power dynamics can make it difficult for them to trust, connect, or even open up fully in a long-term relationship. This emotional baggage usually weighs heavily on both partners, often creating friction and misunderstandings that become evident over time.

 

At the beginning of the relationship there were two character traits that she quickly brought home from the business. However, these disappeared within a short time when she noticed that I was serious about her.
The lady has learned to say "no" and knows that it is important to me when she says what she thinks. It took time but now it works great.

 

 

13 hours ago, JK-Trilly said:

For those who marry these girls, the question remains: do they truly believe they’ve found love, or are they happy to settle for the bits of attention and care they feel they can’t get elsewhere? And then what happens if and when more serious financial dynamics of the relationship come into play? Many of these marriages seem to revolve around money, with the man acting as a provider and the woman expecting continued support for her and, often, her family.

In my opinion, marrying a short-time girl is a gamble at best where the odds are rarely stacked in a man's favor. While there are exceptions, and some relationships do genuinely work out, the majority seem fraught with issues. These women, by the nature of their work and upbringing, are often ill-equipped to handle the demands of a long-term partnership in the way many men might have hoped for.

 

She is organizing the wedding, using her savings and is very reliable with it. She organized the documents for the wedding herself and translated them into German. There were never any trust issues because she communicates openly about everything.
Another topic was of course family and support and so on. I am very happy that the family is "western-oriented". No sin sod is due, nor support. Not in the last few years, and not in the future.

In my opinion:
I wouldn't want to swap. We are happy and on a very good path.
From my point of view, I would say try it out but be careful that the rose-tinted glasses are not too strong at the beginning. Watch out for the red flags and, if necessary, draw a line under the relationship.

 

Greetings

stigooo

[MalcolmB]

2 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

Some short time girls who are really hot and young will get with three or four guys a day, 6 days a week, so run the numbers we are talking about upwards of 5,000 plus. 

Over ten years that is 50,000.

 

that is many gallons of semen.

[Will B Good]

1 hour ago, nauseus said:

 

Better not let her see your posts! 🤣

 

 

That thought has crossed my mind.....she can get by in five languages, but pretty sure she can't read English well enough....55555

[ChumpChange]

41 minutes ago, Cereal said:

That's called a blumpkin!

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