11 hours ago, hotsun said:

The temptation to change my life comes from that feeling that i am missing out on the best life by settling for this boring life, but it may be that once i decide to make that change that it wont be the same experience it was in my 20s, and i will wish that i could have that boring life back

how do you define "not boring"? I guess sleeping with different women can be exciting ... 

otherwise, unless you're a rock star or a movie director or a photographer for national geographic, most people's lives are not that exciting.

you can travel, do some activities together. 

it helps if the girl has an interesting personality ...

maybe if you meet a girl with a more interesting personality, you can jump ship. maybe go back to western girls? they're more interesting ... 

but maybe be realistic about putting too much expectation on a partner to make your life less boring.

 

7 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

how do you define "not boring"? I guess sleeping with different women can be exciting ... 

otherwise, unless you're a rock star or a movie director or a photographer for national geographic, most people's lives are not that exciting.

you can travel, do some activities together. 

it helps if the girl has an interesting personality ...

maybe if you meet a girl with a more interesting personality, you can jump ship. maybe go back to western girls? they're more interesting ... 

but maybe be realistic about putting too much expectation on a partner to make your life less boring.

 

I also liked living in thailand better. I dont like it for my kids. I didnt think about things thoroughly enough in my 20s, everything acted on impulse. On second thought i should have been dead multiple times by now. Now that i understand myself better its too late. Jealous of the guys who stuck to the age old wisdom to just rent never buy

2 hours ago, hotsun said:

I also liked living in thailand better. I dont like it for my kids. I didnt think about things thoroughly enough in my 20s, everything acted on impulse. On second thought i should have been dead multiple times by now. Now that i understand myself better its too late. Jealous of the guys who stuck to the age old wisdom to just rent never buy

 

is your wife happy with you ?   Do you love your kids a lot,  and vice versa ?

At ONLY 37 .......... what do you do in Thailand (work, or ? )

 

these are important facts for others to get an insight about your options...

2 minutes ago, rumak said:

 

is your wife happy with you ?   Do you love your kids a lot,  and vice versa ?

At ONLY 37 .......... what do you do in Thailand (work, or ? )

 

these are important facts for others to get an insight about your options...

Its hard to gauge the happiness level of my wife as the things she says she doesnt mean, i never truly know what shes thinking. We have a one year old now and a seven year old, she said she wanted a second child although seems she hates me, very weird dynamic. I love my kids enough not to trust them to thai people, so living there could be a bigger nightmare than being bored in the west. I did nothing in thailand, the only thing i could do is teach english. I think living in thailand is only an option for when im fed up and feel like i have nothing to lose anymore

7 hours ago, Kinnock said:

In the West ...  probably, as smart '10's' are told early on how beautiful and smart they are, so becoming self absorbed is an occupational hazard.  In Thailand there's so many teen 10's in school they don't ever feel special, so even when in their 30's and still a strong 10, they can be very grounded.

My 10 is both smart and grounded, so they are out there.

 

I was with a Thai 10 for a year. They do know they are beautiful of course. But the hardships of family life, the poverty, the struggle for life, can stop them from being completely selfish. However, they know they are beautiful of course. I agree they can be very smart however.

6 hours ago, save the frogs said:

 

but maybe be realistic about putting too much expectation on a partner to make your life less boring.

 

 

This is correct I think .Yes one may feel life is boring, but it is your life, you made it so and you can make it more interesting. If hotsun now feels he settled and is not happy with life, then more because he thinks he settled, that he could have done better. 

 

Clearly, this girl is not making him happy for some reason, and yes, it does seem like personality or intelligence may be the issue.

 

 

5 hours ago, hotsun said:

I also liked living in thailand better. I dont like it for my kids. I didnt think about things thoroughly enough in my 20s, everything acted on impulse. On second thought i should have been dead multiple times by now. Now that i understand myself better its too late. Jealous of the guys who stuck to the age old wisdom to just rent never buy

 

I brought the ex-wife over with the 2 kids. I figured it'd be nicer to have the kids close. The kids are thriving in international schools and feel much happier than back home.

 

Should have been dead? What happened?

2 hours ago, hotsun said:

Its hard to gauge the happiness level of my wife as the things she says she doesnt mean, i never truly know what shes thinking

 

This is so infurating, my Thai ex was the same. Always keeping the facts secret, what she thought to herself, never engaging in real conversations, afraid of confrontation.

 

They are culturally wired to avoid confrontation, and there's the female aspect, women too are hardwired to avoid confrontation. 

 

Why do you think she hates you though?

3 hours ago, hotsun said:

I think living in thailand is only an option for when im fed up and feel like i have nothing to lose anymore

 

ok.  so....  you either live in US ?  or canada?   US being the worst place for divorce for the man, where you lose almost everything, pay child support..... and the wife easily finds a sleeping partner 

Or.... you accept being unhappy , give up many more years,  then the wife files for divorce .  maybe.

Or,  you take the family back to Thailand .  If me that is what i would do (and did) . Just say you hate the US or wherever you are,  and love Thai culture more.  And would love for the children to grow up in Thailand .  (This is called...STRATEGY ,  to escape the chains that bind you to your present situation. ) 

Teach English .   Have some freedom.  Be a man .  BTW:  having truly bilingual children gives them a great opportunity to get employment in Thailand.   Or, they can go live in the west when they grow up , if they want to.

And you........ can stay around if treated ok by the wife.   Or leave , hopefully with a divorce which will not destroy you as it does most men in the West.

Thirty seven years old... is YOUNG .   Making a big move like i suggest is really scarey .   Otherwise,  keeping doing what you are doing .  The children will be all grown up in another 17 years .

15 minutes ago, rumak said:

ok.  so....  you either live in US ?  or canada?   US being the worst place for divorce for the man, where you lose almost everything, pay child support..... and the wife easily finds a sleeping partner 

Divorce in the US. 'The act of ripping out a man's wallet through his heart.'

43 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

This is so infurating, my Thai ex was the same. Always keeping the facts secret, what she thought to herself, never engaging in real conversations, afraid of confrontation.

 

They are culturally wired to avoid confrontation, and there's the female aspect, women too are hardwired to avoid confrontation. 

 

Why do you think she hates you though?

Shes highly emotional LOL

i dont take it seriously anymore 

21 minutes ago, rumak said:

 

ok.  so....  you either live in US ?  or canada?   US being the worst place for divorce for the man, where you lose almost everything, pay child support..... and the wife easily finds a sleeping partner 

Or.... you accept being unhappy , give up many more years,  then the wife files for divorce .  maybe.

Or,  you take the family back to Thailand .  If me that is what i would do (and did) . Just say you hate the US or wherever you are,  and love Thai culture more.  And would love for the children to grow up in Thailand .  (This is called...STRATEGY ,  to escape the chains that bind you to your present situation. ) 

Teach English .   Have some freedom.  Be a man .  BTW:  having truly bilingual children gives them a great opportunity to get employment in Thailand.   Or, they can go live in the west when they grow up , if they want to.

And you........ can stay around if treated ok by the wife.   Or leave , hopefully with a divorce which will not destroy you as it does most men in the West.

Thirty seven years old... is YOUNG .   Making a big move like i suggest is really scarey .   Otherwise,  keeping doing what you are doing .  The children will be all grown up in another 17 years .

Yes i hear you. Not ideal either place. Fortunately my wife has not assimilated with the culture here

51 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

I brought the ex-wife over with the 2 kids. I figured it'd be nicer to have the kids close. The kids are thriving in international schools and feel much happier than back home.

 

Should have been dead? What happened?

Just at the top of my head, i should have never tried learning to ride motorbikes there, there were alot of things that i didnt do any research about. I just dove in raw

19 minutes ago, hotsun said:

Shes highly emotional LOL

i dont take it seriously anymore 

 

I know what you mean, a bit like children sometimes. My Ex is at the beach now, a horrible beach close to Bangkok and she started complaining about it. To tease her I said "Yeah, I know, you're used to Ko Samui and Phuket beaches, aren't you", as she'd gone to Phuket to cheat on me, and to Ko Samui to cheat on the guy before me. She of course blew up "Not talk like this! I go now"...Hahahaha, I don't care anymore either.

1 hour ago, Stiddle Mump said:

Divorce in the US. 'The act of ripping out a man's wallet through his heart.'

 

haha...... Hence my suggestion to come back to Thailand .  Hopefully they got married here,   but if not still better to come back here if in that situation.  Smile a lot , tell them how much you miss seeing her mother .    

1 hour ago, hotsun said:

Yes i hear you. Not ideal either place. Fortunately my wife has not assimilated with the culture here

 

well,  i can understand why she would not be jumping with joy to be living with 2 kids, a husband that is bored....... and away from her culture where simple people smile and are more friendly than in the West .   

What kind of life does SHE have ?   

 

Didn't you promise her a rose garden ?   

 

Get her back to her people before she finds a hansum gardener.  Ask BritMan how that works 😎

32 minutes ago, rumak said:

 

haha...... Hence my suggestion to come back to Thailand .  Hopefully they got married here,   but if not still better to come back here if in that situation.  Smile a lot , tell them how much you miss seeing her mother .    

We got married in thailand, she wanted to come get US citizenship. She got it now, and i think we would both like to go back. The main issue is our kids, two daughters and giving them the best life we can. Two different places with very different issues, not an easy choice

24 minutes ago, rumak said:

 

well,  i can understand why she would not be jumping with joy to be living with 2 kids, a husband that is bored....... and away from her culture where simple people smile and are more friendly than in the West .   

What kind of life does SHE have ?   

 

Didn't you promise her a rose garden ?   

 

Get her back to her people before she finds a hansum gardener.  Ask BritMan how that works 😎

Shes also conflicted about it as she doesnt understand the anti family culture now of the west and the problems of raising kids here, she only knows about thailands problems

1 minute ago, hotsun said:

We got married in thailand, she wanted to come get US citizenship. She got it now, and i think we would both like to go back. The main issue is our kids, two daughters and giving them the best life we can. Two different places with very different issues, not an easy choice

 

Your daughters will love life in Thailand. You can put them in an international school, so they speak English too and grow up bilingual. The cost can be as low as 400 dollars per month in Thailand. I have two daughters and they are thriving in Thailand, loving it far more than in their home country, many more friends.

 

I would not go with a teaching job though, cause that pays 30K to 40K max, but rather get a remote job, so you get 120K.

5 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

Your daughters will love life in Thailand. You can put them in an international school, so they speak English too and grow up bilingual. The cost can be as low as 400 dollars per month in Thailand. I

Which International school would that be? My daughters both graduated from a top British one about 8 years ago, went to to universities in America and are now thriving there. But even 8 years ago the cost was about B800,000 per year. Plus there were other  travel expeditions and costs incurred.