Right, so a couple of my glitter-dusted mates popped into town out of the blue. Proper queens from the fudge-packing district, you know, the sticky East End. Everyone calls them the Blumkin Brothers, although neither of them are brothers, and both have definitely seen each other’s insides. Meanwhile, I had nothing on, just free-balling, except for an open kimono and a margarita in hand. So when they rang me up, I said yes faster than a bottom on steroids.

 

We set our sights on Soi Six and met up with the most fabulous local expert I know, Bob Smith, ready to paint the town in every shade of rainbow gay, and he kindly took us to his favorite haunt. Brucie immediately pounced on a juicy little salami smuggler in purple spandex, no underwear, and a zipper riding up the back like it had secrets. Kippy, bless him, went for a chubby bear with chest hair like a welcome mat. I clocked a skinny chocolate rocket with arms like linguine and eyes that said, “I gag for fun.” Meanwhile, Bobby Boy stayed at the bar because he was already balls deep with some big well-hung brute and wanted to just do a short time in the bar instead.

 

We hopped on our rides: me on my pink Vespa, the others on some dodgy scooters they rented from a toothless man with too many cats. Our sexy passengers wrapped around us, and off we went, the gay cavalry blazing down the street.

 

But just as Kippy pulled out from the curb, this feral LB in a sequined crop top came screeching out of the bar next door, heels clacking like gunfire. She screamed that Kippy had stolen her bike. Absolute rubbish and then chaos. A tuk-tuk driver started filming. A street dog threw up. A fat German tourist fainted.

 

Turns out it was mistaken identity. Apparently, someone else, also mid-fifties, pink mesh tank top, cheeks out, had actually stolen a scooter earlier. They eventually kissed and made up, mostly tongue, then we all sped off into the night. But Bob was the true savior in all this when he came blazing out of the bar in nothing but his leather chaps and brought the situation fully under control.

 

We regrouped an hour later at the villa, bruised, sweaty, and missing a flip-flop each. Kippy’s heifer is already in the pool naked, Brucie’s biting and crying into a Hello Kitty pillow while he gets rode hard and put away wet, and my dark chocolate delight is licking whipped cream off my arse crack like he’s hunting for hidden Klingon treasure.

 

The night ends in a pile of limbs, latex, and laughter, and I wake up to find Kippy spooning a swan-shaped pool float, mumbling something about vengeance. At some point, Bob Smith snuck into the fold and was passed out on the couch, naked, with his bait and tackle tied up with so much string it looked like he had a fight with a rodeo cowboy and lost.

 

Moral of the story? Never trust a Soi Six ladyboy with sharp nails, never rent a bike without sniffing the seat first, and always carry a liter of neon-green-colored lube, because you never know when a fabulous distraction might save your life.

 

The Dink.

That's nice.

 

Hahahaha that has started my day off with a good giggle wish I could have joined you guys sounded like a hoot!

 

4 hours ago, FriscoKid said:

my dark chocolate delight is licking whipped cream off my arse crack like he’s hunting for hidden Klingon treasure

 

hahahaha classic ROFLMAO 🤣

5 hours ago, FriscoKid said:

my dark chocolate delight is licking whipped cream off my arse crack like he’s hunting for hidden Klingon treasure.

 Who doesn't like a good Felching 🤣

FriscoKid = Bob  

The ultimate con. Pretending to imitate someone else, but imitating himself. 

 

 

 

5 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

FriscoKid = Bob  

The ultimate con. Pretending to imitate someone else, but imitating himself. 

 

 

 

Bro, I take what I can get. 

11 hours ago, FriscoKid said:

Bro, I take what I can get. 

you got a few more tricks up your sleeve there for us, BRUH? 

bring it on.

 

16 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

you got a few more tricks up your sleeve there for us, BRUH? 

bring it on.

 

Big up yourself bruv. Hard to say for sure, but as the day goes on, anything is possible. Speaking of hard, my beast still be levitating from last night. Booyakasha. Guess the Molly's gotten the better of me and I need to fire up the whipped cream maker again. I'll awaken my little chocolate meat grinder and put him back to work on operation hide the pogo stick. Respect.

 

Scene of the crime, innit. 
 

1 hour ago, save the frogs said:

FriscoKid = Bob  

The ultimate con. Pretending to imitate someone else, but imitating himself. 

 

 

 

it is too well written to be Bob/Don et al.

1 hour ago, rough diamond said:

it is too well written to be Bob/Don et al.

Chat / essay writing programs are better than ever before.

Nonsense, Any Pattaya local would know that you head to Treetown and Soi Buakhao for that type of outing. Soi 6 has been taken over by the Nightwish Group.

18 hours ago, FriscoKid said:

Can't even understand why you were reading it in the first place.

exactly. we should have put you on ignore a long time ago

34 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

exactly. we should have put you on ignore a long time ago

But instead you eagerly read the OP while your right hand is doing the thing it does so well.

11 hours ago, BLMFem said:

But instead you eagerly read the OP while your right hand is doing the thing it does so well.

i am derailing him

Go Bob, you're the man.

Not my cup of tea but a well written story. Good job. 

What the heck did I read?

 

Now I gotta take my eyeballs out and wash them with soap!

 

 

What?