Why is there this kind of "impossible communication" between farang and thais ?

[BangkokReady]

22 minutes ago, NorthernRyland said:

I don't know what goes on in your life and where you're located but I don't have that experience at all with Thai people. They can be shy and repressed is the worst I can say about them. I think they really oppress their kids with ideas of respecting adults and it makes them keep their heads down more than they need to.

 

So, you think that they're simply so shy that they will do something like completely ignore a foreign person who goes in a shop, having just greeted/offered services to a Thai person?  Do they really have no idea that this makes them look racist?

[NorthernRyland]

1 minute ago, BangkokReady said:

So, you think that they're simply so shy that they will do something like completely ignore a foreign person who goes in a shop, having just greeted/offered services to a Thai person?  Do they really have no idea that this makes them look racist?

 

Well yes actually. Many Thai people just turn off when they're around non-Thais. The only way to break through is make sure they know you can speak Thai well enough so they feel comfortable talking. That's not always an option though like in public shop so I'd say you just got unlucky this time. 🤷 It's annoying but I'd try  to not let it get you down too much.

[safarimike11]

18 hours ago, Kinok Farang said:

But it's ok for you.You are really fluent.What about mere mortals?

No, I am not fluent. When I first holidayed in Thailand, I bought a couple of cheap Thai phrase books and I used to write / copy the phrases I wanted into the inside cover. Later on, after relocating to Thailand, one day I was sitting next to an American guy on the bus that used to go from Pattaya Nua to Ekami (back in the day - 3 hours and 88 baht bus fare). He was chatting up everything with a skirt and getting full responses. So, when there was an opportunity, I asked him how he managed to learn Thai, to which he showed me a keyring loaded with his Thai chat-up questions/phrases on small paper tabs. What I started doing was to add the Thai words/questions/phrases I wanted to my phone contacts, which I replace with others once I have them off to pat.

[Harrisfan]

2 minutes ago, safarimike11 said:

No, I am not fluent. When I first holidayed in Thailand, I bought a couple of cheap Thai phrase books and I used to write / copy the phrases I wanted into the inside cover. Later on, after relocating to Thailand, one day I was sitting next to an American guy on the bus that used to go from Pattaya Nua to Ekami (back in the day - 3 hours and 88 baht bus fare). He was chatting up everything with a skirt and getting full responses. So, when there was an opportunity, I asked him how he managed to learn Thai, to which he showed me a keyring loaded with his Thai chat-up questions/phrases on small paper tabs. What I started doing was to add the Thai words/questions/phrases I wanted to my phone contacts, which I replace with others once I have them off to pat.

So what phrases did he use?

[safarimike11]

Just now, Harrisfan said:

So what phrases did he use?

Work it out with a pencil.

[Harrisfan]

1 minute ago, safarimike11 said:

Work it out with a pencil.

I got my own

[BritManToo]

15 minutes ago, Harrisfan said:

So what phrases did he use?

I've known 3 English speaking foreigners that could chat in flawless Thai (not central)

All 3 were essentially broke beggars in Thailand.

An American cowboy 60+ who lived off his mother and whomever he could scam.

Kern yow my paw ...... My arm isn't long enough

A British drug dealer also 60+, learned from his year in Bangkok jail.

Men chip hai see wa ....... You make this place smell

And a Nordic guy 50+ who'd been stripped bare when his Thai wife divorced him, and was living with a pretty working Thai hooker he dearly loved, but had no money to give her.

Mare mung see ma see dam .......... Your mother xxxx xxxxx

 

They didn't seen to have much success with local women, despite having perfect (if low class) communication abilities.

[safarimike11]

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

I've known 3 English speaking foreigners that could chat in flawless Thai (not central)

All 3 were essentially broke beggars in Thailand.

An American cowboy 60+ who lived off his mother and whomever he could scam.

Kern yow my paw ...... My arm isn't long enough

A British drug dealer also 60+, learned from his year in Bangkok jail.

Men chip hai see wa ....... You make this place smell

And a Nordic guy 50+ who'd been stripped bare when his Thai wife divorced him, and was living with a pretty working Thai hooker he dearly loved, but had no money to give her.

 

They didn't seen to have much success with local women, despite having perfect (if low class) communication abilities.

Give me a mo. and I'll get back to you... then again, mebe not...

[Harrisfan]

2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I've known 3 English speaking foreigners that could chat in flawless Thai (not central)

All 3 were essentially broke beggars in Thailand.

An American cowboy 60+ who lived off his mother and whomever he could scam.

Kern yow my paw ...... My arm isn't long enough

A British drug dealer also 60+, learned from his year in Bangkok jail.

Men chip hai see wa ....... You make this place smell

And a Nordic guy 50+ who'd been stripped bare when his Thai wife divorced him, and was living with a pretty working Thai hooker he dearly loved, but had no money to give her.

 

They didn't seen to have much success with local women, despite having perfect (if low class) communication abilities.

They sound like winners

[BangkokReady]

4 minutes ago, NorthernRyland said:

Well yes actually. Many Thai people just turn off when they're around non-Thais.

 

An interesting theory...  🤔

[Furioso]

I just arrived in Da Nang(my 3rd trip) from Bangkok a couple hours ago. I can see a big difference. It's not nearly as crowded nor overwhelming. The roads and side walks are wider and much easier to get around. Weather about six degrees cooler (for now) and it doesn't seem to have as much air pollution but maybe it's a different type, maybe worse.

 

Da Nang is much more laid back, not amped up to 15 on a 10 scale. There are many tourists here but just the right amount so they're not completely overworked and jaded. 

 

In short it looks like moderation wins again. 

 

 

[Harrisfan]

4 minutes ago, Furioso said:

I just arrived in Da Nang(my 3rd trip) from Bangkok a couple hours ago. I can see a big difference. It's not nearly as crowded nor overwhelming. The roads and side walks are wider and much easier to get around. Weather about six degrees cooler (for now) and it doesn't seem to have as much air pollution but maybe it's a different type, maybe worse.

 

Da Nang is much more laid back, not amped up to 15 on a 10 scale. There are many tourists here but just the right amount so they're not completely overworked and jaded. 

 

In short it looks like moderation wins again. 

 

 

Kind of unrelated to topic

[richard_smith237]

6 minutes ago, Furioso said:

Da Nang is much more laid back, not amped up to 15 on a 10 scale. There are many tourists here but just the right amount so they're not completely overworked and jaded. 

 

In short it looks like moderation wins again. 

 

 

I think that can be said of any tourist destination anywhere in the world.. 

 

There's a critical mass beyond which, things are just too busy, locals become jaded, tourists become edgy and what was an enjoyable area in previous trips loses its charm....

 

 

But.. thats tourist destinations........ Cities are lived in, worked in and for the most part, they are all busy, particularly capitals such as London, Bangkok etc..  They have their 'tourist hubs' but outside of that the normal vibe of the city exists...   in Bangkok, thats just normal life and its what I find enjoyable about living here - we're not tourists, we (foreigners) are no different from anyone else here its easier to just blend in a be normal.

 

 

[Furioso]

19 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

 

I think that can be said of any tourist destination anywhere in the world.. 

 

There's a critical mass beyond which, things are just too busy, locals become jaded, tourists become edgy and what was an enjoyable area in previous trips loses its charm....

 

 

But.. thats tourist destinations........ Cities are lived in, worked in and for the most part, they are all busy, particularly capitals such as London, Bangkok etc..  They have their 'tourist hubs' but outside of that the normal vibe of the city exists...   in Bangkok, thats just normal life and its what I find enjoyable about living here - we're not tourists, we (foreigners) are no different from anyone else here its easier to just blend in a be normal.

 

 

Yes I agree with you 100%. I used to visit Pattaya many times between 2007-2010 you could walk many of the main streets at night there would be just a handful of people probably 1/5 or 1/10 the amount of tourists there are now.  no wonder the locals are testy. 

You're also right about Bangkok being much more than just a tourist destination. They at least have a lot of normal people with normal lives there.

[Kinok Farang]

3 hours ago, safarimike11 said:

No, I am not fluent. When I first holidayed in Thailand, I bought a couple of cheap Thai phrase books and I used to write / copy the phrases I wanted into the inside cover. Later on, after relocating to Thailand, one day I was sitting next to an American guy on the bus that used to go from Pattaya Nua to Ekami (back in the day - 3 hours and 88 baht bus fare). He was chatting up everything with a skirt and getting full responses. So, when there was an opportunity, I asked him how he managed to learn Thai, to which he showed me a keyring loaded with his Thai chat-up questions/phrases on small paper tabs. What I started doing was to add the Thai words/questions/phrases I wanted to my phone contacts, which I replace with others once I have them off to pat.

Yes i gathered that.I was taking the Mickey ,which i regret now as you seem a good guy.Sorry.

[safarimike11]

5 minutes ago, Kinok Farang said:

Yes i gathered that.I was taking the Mickey ,which i regret now as you seem a good guy.Sorry.

You're right: I'm not a "good guy"; hope you'll get over it.

[emptypockets]

16 hours ago, Harrisfan said:

We are farang but small city folk are always more friendly to farangs but its the opposite in the west. Small town westerners are more racist.

Depends on the country. Australia is a lot more open to people from other cultures.

My wife has been accepted without issues and we live in a very small town.

[emptypockets]

5 hours ago, BangkokReady said:

 

So, you think that they're simply so shy that they will do something like completely ignore a foreign person who goes in a shop, having just greeted/offered services to a Thai person?  Do they really have no idea that this makes them look racist?

Being racist, as in being a bad thing, is a western brainwashed construct.

 

[NoshowJones]

On 4/28/2025 at 1:42 PM, Denim said:

I have the opposite problem. All the cashiers want my phone number or Line contact.  Sometimes being so incredibly handsome has its dawbacks

"sometimes being so incredibly handsome has its dawbacks"  That's not your photo in your avatar is it?? Didn't think so.

[newbee2022]

On 4/28/2025 at 1:14 PM, Presnock said:

Wear a bigger smile whenever going to buy something a see if that helps.

Yes, helps in every country. But old men tend to have a grumpy face instead unfortunately 

[Thingamabob]

36 minutes ago, newbee2022 said:

Yes, helps in every country. But old men tend to have a grumpy face instead unfortunately 

Thank you. Aged 83 I will do my best to keep smiling under all circumstances.

[newbee2022]

4 minutes ago, Thingamabob said:

Thank you. Aged 83 I will do my best to keep smiling under all circumstances.

Honestly: sometimes I look into the mirror. And what I can see is not smiling the whole day. Maybe you and me should have some Botox shots?❤️🤗

[jippytum]

 a man said to the doctor. people ignore me like im invisible. The docotor said next patient please. 

[Kinnock]

I think the observations from the OP are just due to most Thai people's lack of confidence with English language.

 

They just want you to move along in case you try to speak to them in a strange language.  Even if you are fluent in Thai they will expect a communication challenge.

 

But I've found a friendly smile helps a lot.  Us falangs do tend to have an angry scowl and a blank 1000 yard stare as our natural demeanour .... perfected in our home countries where eye contact can cause trouble.

[wavodavo]

On 4/28/2025 at 4:38 PM, richard_smith237 said:

What you are witnessing, I believe, is a reflection of the same quiet indifference with which many Thais interact outside their immediate circles of influence.

 

While often observed specifically within Thai society, this phenomenon, I would argue, is simply a mirror of a broader, universal human pattern. Across cultures and societies, the nature of our interactions is largely shaped by invisible, concentric circles of connection and familiarity.

 

These circles of influence can be described as follows:

 

1. Inner Circle: Family and Dearest Friends
Within this circle, interactions are marked by deep care, generosity, and emotional investment. Relationships here are intimate, nurturing, and resilient, often carrying a profound sense of duty and devotion.

 

2. Middle Circle: Friends, Acquaintances, Business and Work Associates
In this space, interactions are governed by politeness, mutual respect, and social convention. While relationships can be warm and even meaningful, they are often transactional and bounded by context rather than unconditional loyalty.

 

3. Outer Circle: Strangers and the Unconnected
Beyond the familiar, most people slip into a landscape of general indifference. Strangers are barely acknowledged, unseen until their presence overlaps or interrupts our own path. Here, interactions are minimal, incidental, or absent altogether.

 

I don't think this layered social dynamic is unique to Thailand; it seems almost innate to the human condition. At its core, it reflects the natural limitations of emotional bandwidth - the reality that genuine care cannot be infinitely extended without diluting its meaning.

 

In Thai culture, this structure may feel more visible because of the country's strong emphasis on social harmony (known as 'kreng jai') and its distinct separation of social roles. But the underlying principle - warmth within, coolness without - transcends borders and speaks quietly of how all of us, in our own ways, prioritise intimacy and conserve emotional energy.

that statement sounds like something Mr. AI would have come up with.????

[simon43]

Before you go outside, double-check that you have put your trousers on and that your 'dingle-dangle' is not 'dingling-dangling' 'cos you forgot to pull up your zip.

 

After I started these checks, so many Thais were much more welcoming to me than previously...... 🙂

[chippendale]

On 4/28/2025 at 11:31 PM, Hellfire said:

But you're so small—your thoughts, your way of thinking, your tendency to idolize insect-like perspectives... There's no way you could ever be a master. Let me guess: just a hundred years ago, your ancestors were digging in the dirt with their bare hands.

 

Just a couple of weeks ago, you were trying to dig your way out of a prison cell with your bare hands. Stay humble.

 

[Photoguy21]

Impossible is not really the appropriate word. A bit of effort on your behalf to learn some of the Thai language would go a long way to solving your problem

[BangkokReady]

15 hours ago, emptypockets said:

Being racist, as in being a bad thing, is a western brainwashed construct.

 

It's not a construct.  It's a "made up" word, as is every word, but it describes a very real phenomenon.

[emptypockets]

1 hour ago, BangkokReady said:

 

It's not a construct.  It's a "made up" word, as is every word, but it describes a very real phenomenon.

A phenomenon that has been pushed by governments to ensure the populace is brainwashed into accepting multiculturalism when in reality the human condition favours tribalism.

Go against the multicultural agenda and you are demonised as a racist.

All from the WEF playbook.