19 minutes ago, Harrisfan said:

A fog fart is better than this.

Sounds a bit damp and cold. 

4 hours ago, emptypockets said:

I thought across the pond referred to someone from the USA. Why would the British embassy be involved. 

Proof read your made up stories Rooster.

 

Very much like the rubbish he used to post, and paid for.

1 hour ago, Harrisfan said:

At least make it funny. The made up bargirl 10 drink story was better. A fog fart is better than this.

What's a fog fart?

3 minutes ago, EVENKEEL said:

What's a fog fart?

Dog fart typo.

More bs, every myth ever been told  about Pattaya life and some newly created.

Three months on, 90 posts and probably 90 threads LL I think you were sussed out long ago.

So being hard of hearing does have its benefits .........

"LOL"-Awaiting for the next one, will it be Phuket?

32 minutes ago, EVENKEEL said:

What's a fog fart?

 

When the vapour is so dense that you can't see clearly across the room. 

17 minutes ago, saintdomingo said:

More bs, every myth ever been told  about Pattaya life and some newly created.

Three months on, 90 posts and probably 90 threads LL I think you were sussed out long ago.

Well he cheers up a few.

5 hours ago, Artisi said:

Best laugh for a long while. 

That is why stay clear of them but in Pattaya impossible

17 minutes ago, actonion said:

So being hard of hearing does have its benefits .........

pardon eh!!!

Lewie!  You've done it again!

And this time, again just in time for my breakfast read!

You bring a nice bit of levity to this group, both with your posts and those who keep telling us (as if it's a surprise to anyone) that your stories are AI-created.
Keep them coming, Lewie! 

2 hours ago, Harrisfan said:

All fake. 

 

Quel suprise.

6 hours ago, Lewie London said:

Right then, picture the scene lads. I’m sittin’ in me Buakhao local yesterday, nice corner stool, ice cold Leo in me hand, just enjoyin’ a bit of peace and quiet after a day of scorchin’ heat, swamp arse, and baht-bus fumes. Not a care in the world, just me, the beer goin' in me gob, and a bit of ceiling-fan therapy. 

 

Then along comes this geezer, proper sweaty mess, eyes like a kicked puppy. I first clocked him as an Aussie, but nah, wasn't. Lad was from The Old Country. Suddenly the bloke just plonks himself right next to me like I'm his long-lost aunt.

 

Next thing I know, he’s chewin’ me ear off like a starvin' rat on a block of cheddar. Bangin’ on about how he's retired RAF and how the bloody British Embassy’s just ruined his life.
 

I’m sittin’ there noddin’ politely, thinkin’ maybe they’ve lost his passport renewal application or somethin’ normal. Nah. Turns out the tragedy of his life is that he went marchin’ in there with his Thai concubine, ready to sign the visa guarantee papers and jet off to the land of Greggs and drizzle together… only to have his plans dashed when the visa officer asks him all polite-like if he reckons he's gonna be applyin’ for a same-sex marriage visa. 

 

I nearly spat me beer out. Poor sod was gobsmacked, says it hit him like a double-decker bus with no brakes. All this time thinkin’ he was romancin’ a lady, turns out he was balls-deep in a post-op unit and never clocked it. Now he’s sittin’ there wailin’ into his pint, heartbroken, moanin’ on about broken dreams, scams, and false hopes, like I’m gonna whip out me violin and play him a sad little tune, FFS.

 

And then came the kicker, lads. Right in the middle of his oversized meltdown he leans in, dead serious, like we’re havin’ some big philosophical debate, and asks me, “Lewie mate… be straight with me, yeah, does this make me gay then?” Like I’m fekkin bloody Professor Freud sittin’ there with a pint instead of a pipe in me hand. Right, I just stared at him, wonderin’ how I’d gone from enjoyin’ me quiet beer to bein’ dragged into a full-blown existential identity crisis.

 

Meanwhile, I’m half smilin' like a bloke who gives a toss when all I really want is five minutes of peace to watch me footy on the telly without bein’ dragged into someone’s love-loss hormone disaster. Look mate, we aren't besties, and I came for a cold one, not a front-row seat to your gender discovery meltdown.

 

That’s Pattaya for ya though. One minute you’re mindin’ your own, next minute you’re a therapist for some geezer who only found out what was under the hood after he'd already took it for a spin around the block and back 100 times.

 

Nice wet dream.

 

Those post op queens probably have near a million baht of surgery behind them.

 

If you were to find them in Pattaya at all it would only be first string at Tiffany's.

 

I could see how the guy might be fooled if what you'd written was true given all and sundry, but it's not. Then, there's still the voice.

 

The cartoon you described has about as much chance of landing one of those babes as you do trying to get the marbles out of your mouth before speaking.

17 minutes ago, FolkGuitar said:

Lewie!  You've done it again!

And this time, again just in time for my breakfast read!

You bring a nice bit of levity to this group, both with your posts and those who keep telling us (as if it's a surprise to anyone) that your stories are AI-created.
Keep them coming, Lewie! 

Strangers sit beside you in bars to watch football on a Tuesday? Not much thought went into his fake story.

 

Where is the humour? All 25 year old cliches. 

7 minutes ago, Harrisfan said:

Strangers sit beside you in bars to watch football on a Tuesday? Not much thought went into his fake story.

 

Where is the humour? All 25 year old cliches. 

You obviously don't like Lewie's stories. You've made that quite clear.

Yet you continue to read them and complain about them, with multiple posts about them every single day!
 

Question:  If you don't like them, why do you read them?
(Please don't tell us that you don't read them. That would be even worse.)
Intelligent people stop doing things that they don't enjoy, if they have the choice. 

Just now, FolkGuitar said:

You obviously don't like Lewie's stories. You've made that quite clear.

Yet you continue to read them and complain about them, with multiple posts about them every single day!
 

Question:  If you don't like them, why do you read them?
(Please don't tell us that you don't read them. That would be even worse.)
Intelligent people stop doing things that they don't enjoy, if they have the choice. 

I read this one and the last one. The others I skipped over. 

 

I enjoy reading your posts more.

Just now, Harrisfan said:

I read this one and the last one. The others I skipped over. 

 

This  reminds me of the song lyrics: 'and the farmer took another load away!'

Just now, FolkGuitar said:

 

This  reminds me of the song lyrics: 'and the farmer took another load away!'

This forum is loaded to the brim with high quality postings. 

12 minutes ago, FolkGuitar said:

You obviously don't like Lewie's stories. You've made that quite clear.

Yet you continue to read them and complain about them, with multiple posts about them every single day!
 

Question:  If you don't like them, why do you read them?
(Please don't tell us that you don't read them. That would be even worse.)
Intelligent people stop doing things that they don't enjoy, if they have the choice. 

Intelligent is the keyword. 

1 hour ago, Harrisfan said:

Well he cheers up a few.

Did you cheer up anyone today? 

Just now, Artisi said:

Did you cheer up anyone today? 

How many books have you read lately?

5 minutes ago, Artisi said:

Intelligent is the keyword. 

Go read the happiness topic I created. Good stuff on there and actually real too. 

10 minutes ago, Harrisfan said:

How many books have you read lately?

Would you like a list? 

Just now, Artisi said:

Would you like a list? 

Sure

8 minutes ago, Artisi said:

Would you like a list? 

 

6 hours ago, emptypockets said:

I thought across the pond referred to someone from the USA. Why would the British embassy be involved. 

Proof read your made up stories Rooster.

 

He did and then changed it. Fake Cockneys do that.

19 minutes ago, Harrisfan said:

Go read the happiness topic I created. Good stuff on there and actually real too. 

 

Begging people to read your posts?

That's got to be the height of something!

4 minutes ago, FolkGuitar said:

 

Begging people to read your posts?

That's got to be the height of something!

You read them 

 

Lewie topics dont rate

 

Malcolm stuff does

1 minute ago, Harrisfan said:

You read them 

Yes, I do read your replies to people's posts. They are comical. Almost absurd. 

I just don't bother to read your original posts. Those aren't worth the time.