1 minute ago, fredwiggy said:

The main point is any deceit should not be tolerated

You're speaking from an invory tower of perfect hypothetical situations. Unfortunately I have to deal with real life, and the sad reality is that I fell short and deceived her, so now I have to accept she does the same to some degree. Not to any degree, but to some degree. As she was angry, and justifiably so.

The real question now is: What is to be done? To go to Chonburi, or not to go?

It is possible that the reason she texted me all night yesterday is simply that she wants to keep me as an option, at arm's length, but still hanging on....just in case.

In that case, if I go to Chonburi she would go see me.

It is also possible that she really loves me still, and in that case if I go to Chonburi, she would also go and see me.

Or it is possible that she really doesn't care for me at all now, only to the extent she feels sorry for me and therefore texted me all night yesterday, in which case she would not go and see me.

Perhaps it would be worth going to Chonburi to eliminate possibility 3 above? It is also possible that going to Chonburi would convince her that I am really serious, spending money and going on a long trip to see her. She may like it.

On the other hand, she was very clear 2 days ago that she would not see me. In fact me talking of going to Chonburi precipitated the whole, she's not happy and wants to break up thing. She's clearly still angry.

Another option is to wait and see, text and see if you can get back a good vibe in the relationship and then ask her if she'll meet in Chonburi once again.

But I'm more inclined to go now, even if she is still angry now, just to put an end to this. Obviously if she doesn't see me I can put it all behind me.

So what to do?

8 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

You're speaking from an invory tower of perfect hypothetical situations. Unfortunately I have to deal with real life, and the sad reality is that I fell short and deceived her, so now I have to accept she does the same to some degree. Not to any degree, but to some degree. As she was angry, and justifiably so.

I, along with all the others here that have commented, are speaking from decades of experience with women, and girls. We've all listened to what you've said, and made advice based on that information, and all of us are mostly saying the same things. Some are thinking this is nothing but a working girl, and others, like myself, think she's just a regular immature Thai girl who wants the best deal she can get.

Again, you have to think what you deserve in this country, and in life itself,as a good woman is the hardest thing to find, and the easy ones are pretty obvious in their actions. If you want to remain a player, expect to lose cash and hurt girls along the way, and if those actions don't change, to be alone later in life or miserable with a lunatic that will stay.

Also again, why bother when you've already seen there is deception on both sides? Is this what you want, or what they want? If you just want to play, expect to pay in all events, either by P4P or providing. If you want a wife, then you'll first have to change how you act with the girls, to be honest and faithful, and then actually change to a woman, as the girls in their 20's are all going to act this way, with the rare exception. One coming from a close (especially with (dad) family is a good choice. It starts with you.

2 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

a good woman is the hardest thing to find

She could be a good woman. She hasn't done anything terrible. I have. I was texting others behind her back. She wasn't.

3 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Also again, why bother when you've already seen there is deception on both sides?

It is regrettable, but that's not something that can't be fixed. I didn't sleep with other women, and as far as I know neither did she yet. So we can work this out.

12 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

The real question now is: What is to be done? To go to Chonburi, or not to go?

It is possible that the reason she texted me all night yesterday is simply that she wants to keep me as an option, at arm's length, but still hanging on....just in case.

In that case, if I go to Chonburi she would go see me.

It is also possible that she really loves me still, and in that case if I go to Chonburi, she would also go and see me.

Or it is possible that she really doesn't care for me at all now, only to the extent she feels sorry for me and therefore texted me all night yesterday, in which case she would not go and see me.

Perhaps it would be worth going to Chonburi to eliminate possibility 3 above? It is also possible that going to Chonburi would convince her that I am really serious, spending money and going on a long trip to see her. She may like it.

On the other hand, she was very clear 2 days ago that she would not see me. In fact me talking of going to Chonburi precipitated the whole, she's not happy and wants to break up thing. She's clearly still angry.

Another option is to wait and see, text and see if you can get back a good vibe in the relationship and then ask her if she'll meet in Chonburi once again.

But I'm more inclined to go now, even if she is still angry now, just to put an end to this. Obviously if she doesn't see me I can put it all behind me.

So what to do?

12 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

The real question now is: What is to be done? To go to Chonburi, or not to go?

It is possible that the reason she texted me all night yesterday is simply that she wants to keep me as an option, at arm's length, but still hanging on....just in case.

In that case, if I go to Chonburi she would go see me.

It is also possible that she really loves me still, and in that case if I go to Chonburi, she would also go and see me.

Or it is possible that she really doesn't care for me at all now, only to the extent she feels sorry for me and therefore texted me all night yesterday, in which case she would not go and see me.

Perhaps it would be worth going to Chonburi to eliminate possibility 3 above? It is also possible that going to Chonburi would convince her that I am really serious, spending money and going on a long trip to see her. She may like it.

On the other hand, she was very clear 2 days ago that she would not see me. In fact me talking of going to Chonburi precipitated the whole, she's not happy and wants to break up thing. She's clearly still angry.

Another option is to wait and see, text and see if you can get back a good vibe in the relationship and then ask her if she'll meet in Chonburi once again.

But I'm more inclined to go now, even if she is still angry now, just to put an end to this. Obviously if she doesn't see me I can put it all behind me.

So what to do?

You answered your own questions here, as before, along with others doing the same. Love doesn't mean lust, nor cash. If this was the west, would she "love" you? And if this was the west, would she be with you at all? One of the best ways to see how much someone likes you is to do a 180. Then it still might be more money, as poor countries work that way anyway. You are already there, so she can keep you on a string, no matter how long you go without talking. If she isn't successful with others, you are still there somewhere to come back to her, as she knows you're interested.

1 minute ago, Cameroni said:

She could be a good woman. She hasn't done anything terrible. I have. I was texting others behind her back. She wasn't.

It is regrettable, but that's not something that can't be fixed. I didn't sleep with other women, and as far as I know neither did she yet. So we can work this out.

She doesn't really know what you did besides talking to others, and that, to her, can mean you're with them. The same goes for her, as you aren't with her 24/7. No need to "fix" things. Best to change yourself, then look for one who's ideals are the same. If you don't want to change yourself, expect trouble.

9 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

So what to do?

depends on your budget, me thinks. How much are you able and willing to spend now to get clarity? how much regularly for long term in case you can convince her to move in?

Personally, I feel more and more like this is a wind-up, although also absolutely possible that the story and your hormone induced blindness are real. You would not be the first one, nor the last one to experience something like this.

You really believe - after all you know and witnessed - there is the slightest chance that she works in a cafe or restaurant for 400 thb per day?

Just now, mangkut70 said:

How much are you able and willing to spend now to get clarity?

Well the trip to Chonburi is not expensive. That would not cost a lot. My main issue really is would it make her run away and hide again? The last time I raised I want to come to Chonburi she said she would not see me, is not happy, and wants to break up. It started the whole break up thing two days ago.

2 minutes ago, mangkut70 said:

ou really believe - after all you know and witnessed - there is the slightest chance that she works in a cafe or restaurant for 400 thb per day?

Yes, I do, I saw BKK girl do it as well.

2 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

Well the trip to Chonburi is not expensive. That would not cost a lot. My main issue really is would it make her run away and hide again? The last time I raised I want to come to Chonburi she said she would not see me, is not happy, and wants to break up. It started the whole break up thing two days ago.

Yes, I do, I saw BKK girl do it as well.

Look at what you just said. There's your answers. She is not the only available (?) girl in Thailand.

22 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

The real question now is: What is to be done? To go to Chonburi, or not to go?

It is possible that the reason she texted me all night yesterday is simply that she wants to keep me as an option, at arm's length, but still hanging on....just in case.

In that case, if I go to Chonburi she would go see me.

It is also possible that she really loves me still, and in that case if I go to Chonburi, she would also go and see me.

Or it is possible that she really doesn't care for me at all now, only to the extent she feels sorry for me and therefore texted me all night yesterday, in which case she would not go and see me.

Perhaps it would be worth going to Chonburi to eliminate possibility 3 above? It is also possible that going to Chonburi would convince her that I am really serious, spending money and going on a long trip to see her. She may like it.

On the other hand, she was very clear 2 days ago that she would not see me. In fact me talking of going to Chonburi precipitated the whole, she's not happy and wants to break up thing. She's clearly still angry.

Another option is to wait and see, text and see if you can get back a good vibe in the relationship and then ask her if she'll meet in Chonburi once again.

But I'm more inclined to go now, even if she is still angry now, just to put an end to this. Obviously if she doesn't see me I can put it all behind me.

So what to do?

So let's recap... After forty days and forty nights of intense frolicking and lovemaking, you don't actually even know this girl's real name. You don't have access to any of her social media accounts and you don't actually know where she is right now.

You met her online, where she proudly announced that she loved "sex and money", she didn't allow you to contact the Austrian in order to confirm her story...she literally told you that once you paid her that she'd be out of there. If she loved you, why leave at all and if she's angry, then why already agree to meet after Feb. 20th? Do you really think that a normal cafe would accept her on a one month contract? Are you really that obtuse? She's a freelancer 😊 Just living her life.

Whereas you have been 'struck' and cannot get enough. She knows what to do to string you along and when the time comes, if a better offer hasn't come along, she can decide. Just like Bangkok Girl is stringing you along.

It's just another tale of a sad, lecherous old man chasing young women.

3 minutes ago, FrankieGoesToHolly said:

you don't actually even know this girl's real name

What are you talking about? Of course I know her real name. I saw her Thai ID card.

4 minutes ago, FrankieGoesToHolly said:

You don't have access to any of her social media accounts

Yes I do.

4 minutes ago, FrankieGoesToHolly said:

you don't actually know where she is right now

Yes I do. Probably.

4 minutes ago, FrankieGoesToHolly said:

she didn't allow you to contact the Austrian in order to confirm her story.

Are you out of your mind? Why would I contact the Austrian to "confirm her story"? You always ring up their exes "Hey, I'm the new guy...can I just ask you...?"

5 minutes ago, FrankieGoesToHolly said:

she literally told you that once you paid her that she'd be out of there

No she didn't.

6 minutes ago, FrankieGoesToHolly said:

If she loved you, why leave at all and if she's angry, then why already agree to meet after Feb. 20th?

Her mother had birthday and she wanted to be there. She asked me to come with her.

6 minutes ago, FrankieGoesToHolly said:

Do you really think that a normal cafe would accept her on a one month contract?

I have a friend who is a cafe owner, he confirmed he habitually hires without a CV and people with no experience. No problem for some cafes. She is smart and would not have said she'd leave after one month.

7 minutes ago, FrankieGoesToHolly said:

Are you really that obtuse? She's a freelancer 😊 Just living her life.

There is so many red flags here, so I guess you just have to go and see for yourself in Chonburi.

And, I do not like to point out to many details, or even speculate why, and what she is doing. Can not know the situation between you guys why things are as it is per now.

But for those who have been around for a long time, the old telephone trick is a very useful trick for the girls to not take the phone and be available 24/7, as well some few gentlemen will buy her a new phone by coincidence.

Your choice, your situation, and also a good tip for everyone else in same situation or future situation to consider their standing, or just lay back and wait and see what happens next.

Reminds me of a few songs. Lynyrd Skynyrd's On The Hunt and this one from John Cougar Mellencamp, lyrics here.............Well, I see you've got a new boyfriend
Got your mixed up husband too
I got twenty-five dollars in my pocket
Want me to spend it all on you
But I know that you cheat on all of us
That's just the way that you do
Hey, girl, I don't care where you've been
I know I've been there too

… Woo, woo, baby; Do you think that's fair?
Do we really have to be so lonely and so scared?
Woo, woo, baby; Do you think that's fair?
Well, I know this is up to me and you
We make this thing turn out like we want to
Well, last time I thought about you
Didn't really think that much
And the last time we spoke you said
You were afraid of my touch
And then you went your way
I stumbled down a highway; I went mine
You know, I think it's funny the
Way infatuation gets beat up by the time

… Woo, woo, baby; Do you think that's fair?
Do we really have to be so lonely and so scared?
Woo, woo, baby; Do you think that's fair?
Well, I know this is up to me and you
We make this thing turn out like we want to
Well, last time I thought about you
Didn't really think that much
And the last time we spoke you said
You were afraid of my touch
And then you went your way
I stumbled down a highway; I went mine
You know, I think it's funny the
Way infatuation gets beat up by the time

… Well, I see your life has evolved
Into one big masquerade
And all of those old fools you used to run to
They shot you full of old age
Well, don't go expecting too much, no, no
From this new love affair
Probably fall flat on its face
No one to pick you up, no one who cares

… Woo, woo, baby; Do you think that's fair?
Do we really have to be so lonely and so scared?
Woo, woo, baby; Do you think that's fair?
Well, I know this is up to me and you
We make this thing turn out like we want to
Well, last time I thought about you
Didn't really think that much
And the last time we spoke you said
You were afraid of my touch
And then you went your way
I stumbled down a highway; I went mine
You know, I think it's funny the
Way infatuation gets beat up by the time.........https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=353iqW-nLeA&list=RD353iqW-nLeA&start_radio=1

3 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Can not know the situation between you guys why things are as it is per now.

One of the more insightful posts I've read. I have to laugh when I see some of the wild theories some post on here.

4 minutes ago, Hummin said:

the old telephone trick is a very useful trick for for the girls to not take the phone and be available 24/7,

Her Iphone 10 from almost 10 years ago really is hardly charging, I saw it with my own eyes. She had a lot of problems with her phone in CM.

1 minute ago, Cameroni said:

One of the more insightful posts I've read. I have to laugh when I see some of the wild theories some post on here.

Her Iphone 10 from almost 10 years ago really is hardly charging, I saw it with my own eyes. She had a lot of problems with her phone in CM.

My ex wife has at least 2 phones, and she speaks to her husband on one and others on the other. No one leaves their phone at home these days. Not even I, who only use it for messenger contacts and bank messages. Not that this might be her case, but a possibility. No jobs ask you to keep your phone at home, as everyone has one these days and everyone knows it is needed for emergencies. Phones, especially the second hands they buy here, are very cheap.

5 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

One of the more insightful posts I've read. I have to laugh when I see some of the wild theories some post on here.

Her Iphone 10 from almost 10 years ago really is hardly charging, I saw it with my own eyes. She had a lot of problems with her phone in CM.

Thanks, sorry for my horrible spelling mistakes, and hope it makes sense anyway. Sometimes have to read two and three times and even come back later and see if I do not run it through AI with the risk of being hanged for using AI answers :D

Anyway Im always writing from top of my head in a flow, so take it for what it is.

We all had our puppie love at some time in life, but I would say it is a more dangerous game here in Thailand, unless you are an handy man back in the west. Ladies loves Handy men especially when they want something done, and the more expensive, the better chances you are going to have your turn.

Old phones I repeat, it is a good old trick, and honestly, why haven’t any of her previous bf bought her a new phone yet? You where thinking about it, and other men with plenty of cash, wouldn’t hesitated one sec. Just saying

34 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

Well the trip to Chonburi is not expensive. That would not cost a lot. My main issue really is would it make her run away and hide again? The last time I raised I want to come to Chonburi she said she would not see me, is not happy, and wants to break up. It started the whole break up thing two days ago.

first line in every future post here should probably be: just for the sake of entertaining the idea that this is not a wind-up

 

Do I understand correctly: You just want clarity and are prepared to finish it?

I always went for: “Better an end with terror than terror without end.” There is no point to prolong something which is not working. You just lose time. And time is the most valuable thing you have in life. And there are plenty of other choices around to lick your wounds.

So, the goal would be to meet up in person to sort this out?

 

Like I wrote before, I would go to Chonburi Pattaya, check in a nice hotel, then let her know you are in town. It’s a win-win, even if she does not show; you did not waste your time and can have some fun.

You always can spice it up with something sexy like “Let’s get you a new phone! Where we meet?”

Cameroni said:

One of the more insightful posts I've read. I have to laugh when I see some of the wild theories some post on here.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I am a bit embarrassed for ever giving some true "insightful" comments on this laughable novel . It was a bit fun for a while, but when the supposed "OP" pretends to have any credibility with regards to knowledge or insight into encounters with Thai females ....... he is truly lost in space .

12 minutes ago, mangkut70 said:

first line in every future post here should probably be: just for the sake of entertaining the idea that this is not a wind-up

 

Do I understand correctly: You just want clarity and are prepared to finish it?

I always went for: “Better an end with terror than terror without end.” There is no point to prolong something which is not working. You just lose time. And time is the most valuable thing you have in life. And there are plenty of other choices around to lick your wounds.

So, the goal would be to meet up in person to sort this out?

 

Like I wrote before, I would go to Chonburi Pattaya, check in a nice hotel, then let her know you are in town. It’s a win-win, even if she does not show; you did not waste your time and can have some fun.

You always can spice it up with something sexy like “Let’s get you a new phone! Where we meet?”

For entertainment purpose only

Most normal man would had thought rages and been a broken man by now by not knowing if he was in love.

At least what I remember from my younger days when I was schooled in the game of love.

21 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

I have to laugh when I see some of the wild theories some post on here.

Exactly how I feel when you try to rationalize her behavior. You are dealing with someone about 16 at the most on an emotional and maturity level. For the life of me I will never figure out how you could say you're in love with someone like this. In lust yes, and acknowledge that its a fun fling. But to state I am in love with her is pure silliness on your part.

33 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

What are you talking about? Of course I know her real name. I saw her Thai ID card.

Yes I do.

Yes I do. Probably.

Are you out of your mind? Why would I contact the Austrian to "confirm her story"? You always ring up their exes "Hey, I'm the new guy...can I just ask you...?"

No she didn't.

Her mother had birthday and she wanted to be there. She asked me to come with her.

I have a friend who is a cafe owner, he confirmed he habitually hires without a CV and people with no experience. No problem for some cafes. She is smart and would not have said she'd leave after one month.

You told us that she told you that she would leave "sure" once you gave her salary. You had to kiss her butt to get her to calm down. Plus, according to you, you hadn't been paid yet. You should at least check what you wrote before embarrassing yourself further.

Yes, if I was messing around with women who sell themselves online and I was serious about her, I would like to hear his side. I mean, neither of you have any scruples about checking the phone of the other, so how would speaking to an actual person be any different?

If you have access to her social media and her real name, then why don't you know where she is? That's the whole point of social media, is it not?

You are not part of her inner circle, otherwise you would know.

You left out the part about the voting nonsense and swallowed her story about her sister not being allowed to be there. Clearly all a steaming pile... Just one excuse after another. Incredible, isn't it?

If you went with her, she might have actually gone there. Now you are living in regret, whilst she pulls your strings.

2 minutes ago, Hummin said:

For entertainment purpose only

Most normal man would had thought rages and been a broken man by now by not knowing if he was in love.

At least what I remember from my younger days when I was schooled in the game of love.

Just lick em

14 minutes ago, mangkut70 said:

Do I understand correctly: You just want clarity and are prepared to finish it?

I do want clarity. She's been roller coasting me up and down the last few days a lot. Telling me she'll come to Chiang Mai last week, then saying we'd meet later.

Ask me if I would like to go to Phuket with her on 20 Feb, only to then say she wants to break up two days ago. Then yesterday night texting me literally all night long until 1 am when she fell asleep.

Today she texted me even earlier from work than yesterday which is good. But I feel any day she can again say I'm unhappy and want to break up.

I just feel by going to Chonburi I would get some clarity on whether she comes to see me or not. On the other hand it may not fix anything. And she already said she doesn't want to see me, and bringing my visit up actually led to the break up 2 days ago.

Though it's hard not to feel that a face to face meeting would be highly beneficial.

3 minutes ago, marin said:

You are dealing with someone about 16 at the most on an emotional and maturity level.

Well, she's smarter and deeper than most on here realize, since you haven't met her, but at 24 there is substantial immaturity of course.

4 minutes ago, marin said:

. For the life of me I will never figure out how you could say you're in love with someone like this. In lust yes, and acknowledge that its a fun fling. But to state I am in love with her is pure silliness on your part.

It's not easy to explain, but when you know, you just know. It's not just "lust". Yes, the physical attraction on both sides is wonderful, sex is good, etc, however, I really really like her as a person. I love her positive, fun, fearless energy, her intelligence, her fairness...she's a lovely gal on many levels. Good sense of humour too. I love everything about her. She has the most beautiful breasts I've seen in my life. I love her thin waist and well formed legs. I like the way she walks. I love how she talks. Her whole enegy is fearless and irresistible. Her smell is intoxicating, like a sweet flower. She realy cares for you, asks you if want a drink. When we eat she always, always waits to eat until you get your food. She's great.

7 minutes ago, FrankieGoesToHolly said:

If you have access to her social media and her real name, then why don't you know where she is?

Because unlike many girls she doesn't post on Insta or FB or Tiktok at all. She's not interested in social media much in terms of being a creator, only a Tiktok consumer.

7 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

Well, she's smarter and deeper than most on here realize, since you haven't met her, but at 24 there is substantial immaturity of course.

It's not easy to explain, but when you know, you just know. It's not just "lust". Yes, the physical attraction on both sides is wonderful, sex is good, etc, however, I really really like her as a person. I love her positive, fun, fearless energy, her intelligence, her fairness...she's a lovely gal on many levels. Good sense of humour too.

She doesn't like you all that much though 😊 I would say, contemptuous, but worth stringing along just in case. Better the devil she knows.

But go there and you will be sure. After all, if you are there, you can just whisk her away from her low paying job, to be together straight away. Do it! 😊

Just now, FrankieGoesToHolly said:

She doesn't like you all that much though

She likes me a lot, Unfortunately my phone is a horror show for any girl, so many convos with girls, photos and other things, and she knew for 3 weeks I was talking to a few girls while she was here. And denying it when she asked. So obviously that really caused her to become angry with me.

9 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

Because unlike many girls she doesn't post on Insta or FB or Tiktok at all. She's not interested in social media much in terms of being a creator, only a Tiktok consumer.

I don't believe that. Anyone who has gone the route of plastic surgery will be posting online. After all, you found her selling herself ONLINE.

1 minute ago, FrankieGoesToHolly said:

I don't believe that. Anyone who has gone the route of plastic surgery will be posting online.

Nope. I've seen her Tiktok, FB and Insta. Very few pics there. Almost nothing.

2 minutes ago, FrankieGoesToHolly said:

After all, you found her selling herself ONLINE.

No, she wasn't selling anything online, she had a normal Bumble profile.