18 minutes ago, IsmeUno said:

So you say.

TBH the more you write, the more you come over as a bit of a psychopath.

Actually that's exactly what three others here have said about you. Sociopath, conversational narcissist, BPD, weak and spineless, petulant, jealous, hiding own bad behavior, cheapskate, liar, exaggerator, and others. Pretty much what I've also observed. No assumptions, just actual evidence how you act here. Stop assuming and turning things other say around, and you have nothing to say.

3 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

I'm not losing anything, especially this argument. You assume. I go by facts. You turn things around . I tell the truth.

Do you feel that you have 'won' this argument?

3 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

I have been in an actual family, with children. if you haven't any, you aren't qualified to comment on that.

I have family. They are family. Enough said.

4 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

I don't need to protect my ego. I'm fine, but you have shown a classic example of deflection and gaslighting, common traits of a narcissist.

So what have you been doing all this time? There's no one there, you are responding to writing on a page. Why not just ignore it?

5 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

I was treated well by my parents and taught respect. Obviously yours failed you in that regard.

That's nice...but you seem to have turned out to be a bit of a narcissist.

6 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Look back at all your replies from others, in this username and all the others. I see it every day. You act the same way towards them, thinking you're somehow superior, and they aren't in your league. Tell you what, no one wants to be in your league, as outcasts end up all alone.

I cannot control how others see me. That's okay with me.

7 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Again, this is Cameroni's thread, so answer to him.

Correct, it is his thread.

9 minutes ago, IsmeUno said:

Wow....😊

All I can add is that it's easy to find out the kind of person underneath, if you aren't just an arrogant, vain narcissist.

I don't do stupid things like create children due to 'attraction', without understanding how we might move forward as a unit, nor break up with 90 women and then claim that I didn't hurt any of their feelings. You are only digging a bigger hole for yourself, post by post.

Still calling me a narcissist really shows just how ignorant you are. You definitely show many traits, along with not understanding my life behavior shows quite the opposite, but again that's your deflecting ways. I said I didn't intentionally hurt anyone. Mutual breakups and those of the mutual physical kind aren't hurting anyone. Get a grip.

No, a stupid thing for you to do would actually have any children, as we have enough of your kind in this world already, and narcissists come from narcissists.

My children all are well behaved, loving, caring, mothers with children, love animals, have hundreds of friends, and are independent. Guess they were taught well, as I had the majority of custody of them.

4 minutes ago, Hummin said:

What comes around goes around comes to mind! What make you think you are better than anyone else? Seing your posts where you projecting your way in every posts, using Narcissists, psychopaths and every other label available and convenient for the moment. That gets me! Impressive 👏

how people live and spend their time as well finance their life as a couple seems so troubled for you, which have nothing with your life and wife or gf to do. other people choose different, and why not just respect that. Im not only thinking of the tread here, but in general. You always paint with a big large brush to try to make your dominance of what is right or wrong, and forget all the details leading to way people are just living their lives the best way the can with the resources they got.

Be a better man, and not just an A hole all the time.

Having another meltdown, my friend?

It's a discussion forum. We discussed the shameless girl, topics on ex- girlfriends. Everything on topic.

So do your contributions to this topic qualify as

4 minutes ago, Hummin said:

how people live and spend their time as well finance their life as a couple seems so troubled for you, which have nothing with your life and wife or gf to do

I mean to me you write garbled nonsense, but I try to make sense of what you are trying to impart.

So when you tell @Cameroni how you see it from your perspective, are you saying that it's okay because it's your perspective and not mine? Is that not stating that your perspective is valid and that mine is not? Which one of us thinks he is superior again?

I don't see you taking umbrage at your fellow mental weaklings abuse aimed at me.

I know that you have some issues of your own, but remember, you cannot control the opinions of others. You might seek to censor them, but they still exist. If you don't like my opinions, simply utilise the Ignore function.

I have my opinions about you, but they would be off-topic on this thread. If an appropriate thread arises, we might talk about it there.

Take your own advice, rather than being unable to control yourself and jumping in with all guns blazing. Otherwise I might feel inclined to put you in your place. You know what happens.

8 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Still calling me a narcissist really shows just how ignorant you are. You definitely show many traits, along with not understanding my life behavior shows quite the opposite, but again that's your deflecting ways. I said I didn't intentionally hurt anyone. Mutual breakups and those of the mutual physical kind aren't hurting anyone. Get a grip.

No, a stupid thing for you to do would actually have any children, as we have enough of your kind in this world already, and narcissists come from narcissists.

My children all are well behaved, loving, caring, mothers with children, love animals, have hundreds of friends, and are independent. Guess they were taught well, as I had the majority of custody of them.

I haven't seen any evidence of what you tell us. I see evidence of your actual behaviour.

2 minutes ago, IsmeUno said:

Having another meltdown, my friend?

It's a discussion forum. We discussed the shameless girl, topics on ex- girlfriends. Everything on topic.

So do your contributions to this topic qualify as

I mean to me you write garbled nonsense, but I try to make sense of what you are trying to impart.

So when you tell @Cameroni how you see it from your perspective, are you saying that it's okay because it's your perspective and not mine? Is that not stating that your perspective is valid and that mine is not? Which one of us thinks he is superior again?

I know that you have some issues of your own, but remember, you cannot control the opinions of others. You might seek to censor them, but they still exist. If you don't like my opinions, simply utilise the Ignore function.

I have my opinions about you, but they would be off-topic on this thread. If an appropriate thread arises, we might talk about it there.

Talk your own advice, rather than being unable to control yourself and jumping in with all guns blazing. Otherwise I might feel inclined to put you in your place. You know what happens.

I let your reply stand for itself, and no need for me to add anything to this glasshouse!

And thank you for proving my point to the edge!

Just now, Hummin said:

I let your reply stand for itself, and no need for me to add anything to this glasshouse!

And thank you for proving my point to the edge!

You haven't proved anything other than demonstrating that you were hurt by something that I wrote. Where did it hurt? What hurt you? Tell me.

Was it the paying for companionship?

6 minutes ago, IsmeUno said:

I know that you have some issues of your own, but remember, you cannot control the opinions of others. You might seek to censor them, but they still exist. If you don't like my opinions, simply utilise the Ignore function.

I have my opinions about you, but they would be off-topic on this thread. If an appropriate thread arises, we might talk about it there.

Talk your own advice, rather than being unable to control yourself and jumping in with all guns blazing. Otherwise I might feel inclined to put you in your place. You know what happens.

You projecting your view on me based on your own experiences and yourself, thats all you got! If that comforts you, good for you!

And thats weak, very weak if Im allowed to say

2 hours ago, IsmeUno said:

I most certainly believe that your behaviour had an overwhelming effect on the outcome of your relationships.

You are the common denominator. Should we ignore that fact?

Successful relationships ensue when you get to know the person with whom you are spending your time and learn to work with them. When you have a character who insists they are always right and becomes abusive and insulting when they cannot get their own way, that's going to be an issue in any relationship.

To be fair, the “common denominator” argument is often oversimplified. Yes - technically, you are the common denominator in every failed relationship you’ve ever had. But so is everyone else in theirs. That observation alone proves very little.

The more meaningful question is - what is the measure of success?

Before I met my wife, I had ten or more serious relationships. Most of those women were good people. Each relationship failed for its own reasons. Naturally, I was accountable for part of those breakdowns. In some cases, we simply reached a point where continuing made no sense. That is not villainy - it is incompatibility.

The real scrutiny should perhaps come at the point where a relationship moves from casual or serious dating into something far more consequential - marriage, children, long-term commitment. That is where judgement truly matters. The ability to make clear decisions while emotionally attached becomes critical.

Can you love someone deeply - feel strong attachment, chemistry, desire - and still recognise that the next ten years would likely be train-wreck after train-wreck?

That is where emotional maturity and even possibly 'skill' come into it... Its clear some lack this 'outer-body' view point and do not possess the ability for critical thought in such situations - Cam clearly does not, Fredy appears to be so defensive, he seems unwilling to recognise his flaws and contribution to past relationship failures.

I see the same patterns in these threads - there are those who've had multiple failed relationships placing the blame solely on the other party - their writing style verbiage and approach provides an insight into a different reality than the one they attempt to portray - but, again, it takes two for a relationship to work and relationships are never a simple binary 1+1 interaction, they are a full spectrum of characters, mixed in melting pot of personality, physical features, attractiveness, EQ, IQ, education, upbringing, nationalities, culture etc... hard and fast rules are impossible.

One thing is more clear to me - Returning to the same type of volatile or chaotic personality, tolerating the same destructive patterns and expecting a different outcome is madness. But the truth is, we do not always see long-term incompatibility immediately. Sometimes red flags wave violently on the first or second date. Other times they appear subtly, or much later. And sometimes attraction clouds discernment - whether through infatuation, ego, or simply lack of life experience.

People with three or four failed marriages are indeed the common denominator. That does not automatically make them malicious or entirely at fault. But it may suggest an inability to identify character flaws early, or a tendency to ignore warning signs. Some people genuinely struggle to assess temperament, emotional stability, or long-term compatibility. Others change over time. Attraction evolves. Tolerance shifts. What was once exciting becomes exhausting. What was once overlooked becomes contempt.

In truth, none of us fully knows what happens inside someone else’s relationship. But one principle holds firm - if a person claims every relationship failure was entirely someone else’s fault, they likely lack the capacity for introspection. Accountability is rarely one-sided.

As for my own marriage - its longevity is not accidental. It is the product of sustained effort from both sides. It does not require grand gestures, but it does require consistency. We are partners in life - for life. We look after one another. We remain physically attractive to each other. We stay fit and healthy - she more so than I, three years younger and a dedicated gym enthusiast with a figure and skin that would humble many half her age. The physical attraction remains strong - but it is reinforced by something deeper. Ours is as much an intellectual bond as a physical one. We give each other space, yet we choose each other daily.

We have faced problems like any marraige. We worked through them. We are both devoted parents, and that shared devotion has strengthened us further. The bond is resilient.

Was I lucky? Absolutely. But luck was paired with choice. I chose carefully. She chose carefully. We selected each other not just for attraction, but for character, compatibility, and long-term indicators of success - even across cultural differences. We are equals. The result is mutual.

We often joke that had we met in our twenties, we would have disliked each other intensely. I was too unserious, restless, a player. She admits she was rigid, demanding, with fixed expectations of how a man should behave - a total byatch (her word not mine).

I disrupted that mould, which initially intrigued her. The rest became family history.

Could I replicate this at fifty? Highly unlikely. I could find companionship. I could find attractive company. But finding someone as intelligent, educated, emotionally compatible and character-rich as my wife would be extraordinarily difficult. Anyone else would inevitably be compared - and most would fall short. It would be compromise.

She still receives attention - attractive, affluent Thai and Western men approach her. I tell her to enjoy the compliment - it means she still turns heads. I receive the occasional compliment myself - sometimes more subtle, a supermarket conversation that lingers just a little longer than necessary. Do I care? its nothing more than an ego-tickler.

We call it “checking our rating”. If someone flirts, we come home and joke, “Still got rating”.. It happens more to her than to me, naturally. But the point is not temptation - it is confirmation.

We both choose each other.... And in the end, that is the only denominator that truly matters - and none of it has anything to do with the money in our accounts.

1 minute ago, IsmeUno said:

Having another meltdown, my friend?

It's a discussion forum. We discussed the shameless girl, topics on ex- girlfriends. Everything on topic.

So do your contributions to this topic qualify as

I mean to me you write garbled nonsense, but I try to make sense of what you are trying to impart.

So when you tell @Cameroni how you see it from your perspective, are you saying that it's okay because it's your perspective and not mine. Is that not stating that your perspective is valid and that mine is not? Which one of us thinks he is superior again?

I know that you have some issues of your own, but remember, you cannot control the opinions of others. You might seek to censor them, but they still exist. If you don't like my opinions, simply utilise the Ignore function.

I have my opinions about you, but they would be off-topic on this thread. If an appropriate thread arises, we might talk about it there.

Talk your own advice, rather than being unable to control yourself and jumping in with all guns blazing. Otherwise I might feel inclined to put you in your place.

Talking to him the same way as you do me. You couldn't put a toddler in his place. You aren't superior to anyone, let alone someone so far advanced of your intelligence and thinking. A legend in his own mind comes to thought. He has issues of his own? You really are a very sick little man. He has a good wife. I have a good girlfriend and you think you know what goes on in our worlds. We both take good care of ourselves with exercise and diet. You assume because you're weak. You deflect and turn what's said around because that's all you can do, from jealousy or that low self esteem. You cannot have a conversation without acting the same way every time. It isn't us.

Just now, IsmeUno said:

You haven't proved anything other than demonstrating that you were hurt by something that I wrote. Where did it hurt? tell me.

This is how a psychopath operates, again you proved my point, and your ego and mental illness is triggered. See, I can do the same as you, but Im not emotionally agitated like you, and you show it very well.

1 minute ago, Hummin said:

You projecting your view on me based on your own experiences and yourself, thats all you got! If that comforts you, good for you!

And thats weak, very weak if Im allowed to say

I can barely even understand what you write.

Yes, I am expressing my perspective, that's how it works on a forum with more than one person on it. You get perspectives other than your own. How you deal with that says everything about you.

1 minute ago, IsmeUno said:

I can barely even understand what you write.

Yes, I am expressing my perspective, that's how it works on a forum with more than one person on it. You get perspectives other than your own. How you deal with that says everything about you.

You use everything you find about your «enimies» on this forum, as you said you collection information by your other suspended nick name, and everything that have been shared in other treads thats a tiny bit of personal, you carrying with you to other treads, by other nicks as well.

So I just say, be careful being a sitting duck in a glasshouse, because we can if we want do the very same as you do, but we choose not to do for the moment. It doesnt give us anything bickering with someone like you who goes off the edge everytime in every tread you participate in.

And since you know I struggle with writing, you use that against me everytime as well.

So nice try, you are the best.

1 minute ago, Hummin said:

You use everything you find about your «enimies» on this forum, as you said you collection information by your other suspended nick name, and everything that have been shared in other treads thats a tiny bit of personal, you carrying with you to other treads, by other nicks as well.

So I just say, be careful being a sitting duck in a glasshouse, because we can if we want do the very same as you do, but we choose not to do for the moment. It doesnt give us anything bickering with someone like you who goes off the edge everytime in every tread you participate in.

And since you know I struggle with writing, you use that against me everytime as well.

So nice try, you are the best.

I can guarantee that you cannot find any post where I have written what you have suggested.

That is just your imagination extrapolating something completely different. The fact is that whatever you write and however you behave is noted. I don't need to keep files on non-entities. You are simply a name on a forum. Not at all important in my life. If you disappeared tomorrow, it would make no difference to my life at all. So why on earth do you think that I would spend any time collecting information about you? You think too much of yourself. Both you and your 'friend'. There's a name for such people. 😊

Both becoming abusive, but then attempting to gaslight that the abuse is coming from the other person.

Perhaps just nasty manipulative men who need to pay for their company. Birds of a feather, eh?

4 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

Deflection 101.

That was a nice try to Save the frogs, especially considering the post I replied to 👏

1 minute ago, IsmeUno said:

I can guarantee that you cannot find any post where I have written what you have suggested.

That is just your imagination extrapolating something completely different. The fact is that whatever you write and however you behave is noted. I don't need to keep files on non-entities. You are simply a name on a forum. Not at all important in my life. If you disappeared tomorrow, it would make no difference to my life at all. So why on earth do you think that I would spend any time collecting information about you. You think too much of yourself. Both you and the other weirdo.

Both becoming abusive but then attempting to gaslight that the abusive is coming from the other person.

Perhaps just nasty manipulative men who have to pay for their company. Birds of a feather, eh?

Why should I botter if it was Jack, Frankie, or whatever other nick you used by the time?

Enough for now, have a great evening doing what you love most, bickering at the forum.

Just now, Hummin said:

Why should I botter if it was Jack, Frankie, or whatever other nick you used by the time?

Enough for now, have a great evening doing what you love most, bickering at the forum.

...and you joined the 'bickering' because you are above it all?

30 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Actually that's exactly what three others here have said about you. Sociopath, conversational narcissist, BPD, weak and spineless, petulant, jealous, hiding own bad behavior, cheapskate, liar, exaggerator, and others. Pretty much what I've also observed. No assumptions, just actual evidence how you act here. Stop assuming and turning things other say around, and you have nothing to say.

Wow, you deduced a lot about this guy in

11 minutes ago, IsmeUno said:

BTW, were you on the phone with @fredwiggy recently? 😂

We heard you the first time!

9 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Again, whit your back to the wall, you start trying to be funny?

You think it's my back against the wall? You have a wild imagination.

Were you on the phone or not?

1 minute ago, wil iam not said:

We heard you the first time!

Forum or Internet glitch 😊

5 minutes ago, IsmeUno said:

You are simply a name on a forum. Not at all important in my life. If you disappeared tomorrow, it would make no difference to my life at all

And most of us would feel the same if and when you disappear for good without coming back as someone else.

Just now, wil iam not said:

And most of us would feel the same if and when you disappear for good without coming back as someone else.

Hey @KannikaP, don't be like that 😊

Just now, IsmeUno said:

Forum or Internet glitch 😊

Or just you not being careful on your keyboard.

Just now, wil iam not said:

Or just you not being careful on your keyboard.

Button stating 'saving' for perhaps 30 seconds.

Just now, IsmeUno said:

Hey @KannikaP, don't be like that 😊

I changed my member name to a more appropriate one with advice from a Mod, and did not try to hide my previous name. Who were you previously?

Just now, wil iam not said:

I changed my member name to a more appropriate one with advice from a Mod, and did not try to hide my previous name. Who were you previously?

@JiuJitsu

1 minute ago, IsmeUno said:

Button stating 'saving' for perhaps 30 seconds.

What does that mean in English please?

5 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

To be fair, the “common denominator” argument is often oversimplified. Yes - technically, you are the common denominator in every failed relationship you’ve ever had. But so is everyone else in theirs. That observation alone proves very little.

The more meaningful question is - what is the measure of success?

Before I met my wife, I had ten or more serious relationships. Most of those women were good people. Each relationship failed for its own reasons. Naturally, I was accountable for part of those breakdowns. In some cases, we simply reached a point where continuing made no sense. That is not villainy - it is incompatibility.

The real scrutiny should perhaps come at the point where a relationship moves from casual or serious dating into something far more consequential - marriage, children, long-term commitment. That is where judgement truly matters. The ability to make clear decisions while emotionally attached becomes critical.

Can you love someone deeply - feel strong attachment, chemistry, desire - and still recognise that the next ten years would likely be train-wreck after train-wreck?

That is where emotional maturity and even possibly 'skill' come into it... Its clear some lack this 'outer-body' view point and do not possess the ability for critical thought in such situations - Cam clearly does not, Fredy appears to be so defensive, he seems unwilling to recognise his flaws and contribution to past relationship failures.

I see the same patterns in these threads - there are those who've had multiple failed relationships placing the blame solely on the other party - their writing style verbiage and approach provides an insight into a different reality than the one they attempt to portray - but, again, it takes two for a relationship to work and relationships are never a simple binary 1+1 interaction, they are a full spectrum of characters, mixed in melting pot of personality, physical features, attractiveness, EQ, IQ, education, upbringing, nationalities, culture etc... hard and fast rules are impossible.

One thing is more clear to me - Returning to the same type of volatile or chaotic personality, tolerating the same destructive patterns and expecting a different outcome is madness. But the truth is, we do not always see long-term incompatibility immediately. Sometimes red flags wave violently on the first or second date. Other times they appear subtly, or much later. And sometimes attraction clouds discernment - whether through infatuation, ego, or simply lack of life experience.

People with three or four failed marriages are indeed the common denominator. That does not automatically make them malicious or entirely at fault. But it may suggest an inability to identify character flaws early, or a tendency to ignore warning signs. Some people genuinely struggle to assess temperament, emotional stability, or long-term compatibility. Others change over time. Attraction evolves. Tolerance shifts. What was once exciting becomes exhausting. What was once overlooked becomes contempt.

In truth, none of us fully knows what happens inside someone else’s relationship. But one principle holds firm - if a person claims every relationship failure was entirely someone else’s fault, they likely lack the capacity for introspection. Accountability is rarely one-sided.

As for my own marriage - its longevity is not accidental. It is the product of sustained effort from both sides. It does not require grand gestures, but it does require consistency. We are partners in life - for life. We look after one another. We remain physically attractive to each other. We stay fit and healthy - she more so than I, three years younger and a dedicated gym enthusiast with a figure and skin that would humble many half her age. The physical attraction remains strong - but it is reinforced by something deeper. Ours is as much an intellectual bond as a physical one. We give each other space, yet we choose each other daily.

We have faced problems like any marraige. We worked through them. We are both devoted parents, and that shared devotion has strengthened us further. The bond is resilient.

Was I lucky? Absolutely. But luck was paired with choice. I chose carefully. She chose carefully. We selected each other not just for attraction, but for character, compatibility, and long-term indicators of success - even across cultural differences. We are equals. The result is mutual.

We often joke that had we met in our twenties, we would have disliked each other intensely. I was too unserious, restless, a player. She admits she was rigid, demanding, with fixed expectations of how a man should behave - a total byatch (her word not mine).

I disrupted that mould, which initially intrigued her. The rest became family history.

Could I replicate this at fifty? Highly unlikely. I could find companionship. I could find attractive company. But finding someone as intelligent, educated, emotionally compatible and character-rich as my wife would be extraordinarily difficult. Anyone else would inevitably be compared - and most would fall short. It would be compromise.

She still receives attention - attractive, affluent Thai and Western men approach her. I tell her to enjoy the compliment - it means she still turns heads. I receive the occasional compliment myself - sometimes more subtle, a supermarket conversation that lingers just a little longer than necessary. Do I care? its nothing more than an ego-tickler.

We call it “checking our rating”. If someone flirts, we come home and joke, “Still got rating”.. It happens more to her than to me, naturally. But the point is not temptation - it is confirmation.

We both choose each other.... And in the end, that is the only denominator that truly matters - and none of it has anything to do with the money in our accounts.

Only this to say to your words, "Fredy appears to be so defensive, he seems unwilling to recognise his flaws and contribution to past relationship failures"

When I was young, I always looked to treat women well. It was in me as it's what I learned. I had many girlfriends before I married. A third mutually attraction and physical, the rest where we went separate ways because either young and not ready or not the same future plans. A failure perhaps because they didn't last "forever", but necessary to end better now than later so the hurt. if there was any, wouldn't be so much. After my first marriage. where I picked a cheater and not a good parent, absent much of the time and wanting to be stoned with friends while I stayed home with the kids, I divorced her and got custody. That's where I started reading up more on how to communicate and listen to women, even though I was good to her also. I read these books because i did want to see what I could change in my actions and thinking.

My second marriage was to a good woman who was addicted to pain killers (her doctor's fault, who would hallucinate and say weird things, so we parted, no children. It wasn't a bad marriage, but she did die from those over prescribed meds. I moved here after I divorced her, meeting my third wife. I treated her very well but picking the wrong woman isn't going to work out no matter what you do, as a covert narcissist has a game plan where you always lose.

I was reading these books and even went to counseling with my first wife, and the counselor told me she has so much damage from her childhood it would be very hard to change her thinking. She went on to a few other men, doing the same things to them. I tried to do whatever a man could do, and I wanted a happy, loving relationship, and still do, but my choices were my downfall. I did look at what I was doing,as I did want happiness and know it takes two, but that's exactly it. it takes two.When you pick a person that's on your page, everything in life is easier. When you pick the wrong person as a partner, and you have children, it's a nightmare that takes a long time to escape from, but my daughter here and her future are most important, so I'm again doing what's in her best interests

Just now, wil iam not said:

What does that mean in English please?

It meant that after I clicked Submit Reply, they button went grey, but it didn't submit the reply.

I think we might be getting off topic, as we aren't discussing the shameless girl nor anything around that.

25 minutes ago, IsmeUno said:

Which college did I reveal that I attended? I don't think that I have ever imparted that information here.

I seemed to have learned to not have children with narcissists nor to get stuck in the middle of nowhere in a foreign country. What have you learned?

It was with one of your other aliases. There have been so many I can't recall which one told me he went to college.

I leaned a lot more about covert narcissism after my ex here started to do inappropriate things while living here.