3 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

Sure it is, as every psychiatrist, psychologist, counselor and avid learner all do it. And look, it makes it easy for me to spot characters like you.

You seem to have a blind spot. A few of us are trying to help you with that, avid learner.

6 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

6 hours ago, Gottfrid said:

You are truly amazing! I didn´t turn around anything. I used what you posted, to make you understand exactly how it sounds and come across as.

But never mind Freddy, you will never understand that. After that, you are telling me to not take things personally. But Freddy, that´s what you do all the time. You also still seem to think you correct people. Again, you are showing your superiority complex. They simply do not come dumber or thicker! Nothing really sticks on, right?

And sure Freddy. People make mistakes in their life regarding all from relationship and marriage to just as small as stepping on a nail. I did too, with my first marriage, but I don´t blame her for everything, I don´t paint her out to be evil or an idiot or moron. I just understand that we did not fit together, and it happened after a few years. We had house and other things and had to split that as good and fair as possible. I don´t walk around bitter about that, and I don´t moan about it, and telling everyone it true and it´s so bad and sad for me. Like you do, Freddy!

You made yourself look like an idiot, and very dumb, by posting into my post again. You are seriously ill man! Reported!

You don´t have control over yourself, and always try to tell everybody else that they are wrong. Your wrong twice only today. You are a true disgrace!

4 hours ago, Gottfrid said:

You made yourself look like an idiot, and very dumb, by posting into my post again. You are seriously ill man! Reported!

You don´t have control over yourself, and always try to tell everybody else that they are wrong. Your wrong twice only today. You are a true disgrace!

Actually, by being wrong in every line about me, assuming and exaggerating, you made yourself out the fool. Try looking back and reading instead of jumping the gun next time. The site has glitches if you haven't noticed. I don't try to tell everybody else they're wrong, Just a few, like you, that are.Why? Because you assume things without any evidence. and say things about me that are false. Try quoting the person before you assume, as you have a very mixed up way of thinking.

5 hours ago, IsmeUno said:

You seem to have a blind spot. A few of us are trying to help you with that, avid learner.

Actually, you made it easy to point you out, displaying many of the symptoms of a narc. Especially the constant deflection and gaslighting. I don't need help from a disturbed individual, and there isn't any for you.

5 hours ago, Gottfrid said:

You made yourself look like an idiot, and very dumb, by posting into my post again. You are seriously ill man! Reported!

You don´t have control over yourself, and always try to tell everybody else that they are wrong. Your wrong twice only today. You are a true disgrace!

Adding to my other post. If you haven't noticed, Yes, all people make mistakes in their relationships, and some just leave their partners when things go sour. I told here exactly what happened in mine here, and a couple turned what I said around, which makes what i said a lie to them. They weren't there, and it doesn't matter if anyone has doubts about anyone else, as they have no evidence to the contrary. If they are jealous because i said I treat all the women in my life well and they don't, they'll certainly try to make me look bad. If they have a mental issue, like a few here obviously do by their actions, they'll look for the good in people and again try to turn that around, thinking they'll enlist others in their deflection game. I've told the truth here all along, and it matters none what anyone believes as again, they weren't there.

In your case, you posted that I said I'm superior to everyone, while one other in this topic has said that himself, and I never have. You said I think everyone's wrong. I never said everyone's wrong once. This is a discussion forum where everyone argues with others, one thinking the other is wrong, and that's what this forum is about, but calling names when someone disagrees with you on a subject is wrong.

Turning what I said around, and exaggerating, is exactly what you did in your earlier post. It doesn't matter what it sounds like to you. What matters is what it is. Taking things out of context. Quoting someone but leaving much of what they said out to suit your own narrative.

Trust me, you aren't dealing with a fool here and the more you or anyone else tries to lie or exaggerate about me, the more I'll retaliate and point out where you're wrong and if it continues, you'll be removed for flaming and trolling. The mods know the truth here, and how I act towards others who aren't trolling me. It's not a good idea trying to go along with a troll's behavior here, as it makes you look the same as they do.

Calling someone out when they try to spread lies or exaggerations about you is expected, and not the same,and i only have a problem with that one here, and a couple of others, out of hundreds of members.

You see my reputation, and it didn't happen by acting superior or saying everyone is wrong but by helping and adding to a discussion. You really shouldn't talk, as you have a reputation here for dissing foreigners, like a couple of others, while I never do, nor act prejudiced towards anyone or any groups. I'm good to women, children and the only ones i don't get along with here are trolls. Best to read more, comprehend, before you reply, as it doesn't fare well for you calling me the fool.

17 hours ago, norsurin said:

I was married to a thai lady for 11 years..2 kids together..moved to my country 19 years ago.Divorced 8 year ago.I speak thai well.My experience when visiting other foreigners in Thailand they brag what a great sexlife they have and so on.When i listen to the wifes its often opposite.They complain nothing happens in bed for years and another thing is the drinking on daily bases.And of course the lack of money.I know some of these ladies just lying, anyway its a totally different story compared to what the foreigner telling.I was in my embassy and a guy came inside with his young lady and a newborn.She admit to everyone who asked that he was not the real father..it was a young thai guy.I took a bus from morchit and a young lady was followed to the bus station by a much older foreigner.He tried to kiss her but she refused.After a short ride she told the bus driver to stop and she left the bus.Many people on the bus told her that this was not good but she didn't say anything and left the bus.

You are a great poster, and I learned a lot about Thailand from reading you. I hope you post more.

As to the Fred show, I like Fred when he’s talking about normal stuff. Like I asked him about hunting in Southeast Asia and he gave a very detailed and interesting answer.

I also think he should be free to post in relationship threads without having his own relationships dragged into it , even if he brings these past relationships into it. No need to comment for 600 words on this, Fred.

My new partner was married to a Thai man and then a western man. She’s still pretty un westernized and more what I would call western curious rather than western oriented.

She thinks pizza and hamburgers are pretty disgusting. She says she likes classic rock but can’t name a single song. She believes a carefully thought out matrix of donations to various religious statues is what brought us together.

It’s a good mix for me because I am a little bit Buddhist myself and originally moved here for the Thai culture, not the women.

What do people think about dating Thai women who have had prior western partners? Is it easier or harder?

This should probably be it its own thread.

In my experience, there is often a lot of unresolved anger, but to put it crudely, they obviously like flavor. Beyond the money flavor.

Who here has ended up with someone full on rural Thai with less exposure to the west then if they met them in Bangkok or Phuket?

When I met the famous Phuket girl, she definitely seemed more rural Thai than the usual young person I meet and she was from a little town in Issan.

2 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

Adding to my other post. If you haven't noticed, Yes, all people make mistakes in their relationships, and some just leave their partners when things go sour. I told here exactly what happened in mine here, and a couple turned what I said around, which makes what i said a lie to them. They weren't there, and it doesn't matter if anyone has doubts about anyone else, as they have no evidence to the contrary. If they are jealous because i said I treat all the women in my life well and they don't, they'll certainly try to make me look bad. If they have a mental issue, like a few here obviously do by their actions, they'll look for the good in people and again try to turn that around, thinking they'll enlist others in their deflection game. I've told the truth here all along, and it matters none what anyone believes as again, they weren't there.

In your case, you posted that I said I'm superior to everyone, while one other in this topic has said that himself, and I never have. You said I think everyone's wrong. I never said everyone's wrong once. This is a discussion forum where everyone argues with others, one thinking the other is wrong, and that's what this forum is about, but calling names when someone disagrees with you on a subject is wrong.

Turning what I said around, and exaggerating, is exactly what you did in your earlier post. It doesn't matter what it sounds like to you. What matters is what it is. Taking things out of context. Quoting someone but leaving much of what they said out to suit your own narrative.

Trust me, you aren't dealing with a fool here and the more you or anyone else tries to lie or exaggerate about me, the more I'll retaliate and point out where you're wrong and if it continues, you'll be removed for flaming and trolling. The mods know the truth here, and how I act towards others who aren't trolling me. It's not a good idea trying to go along with a troll's behavior here, as it makes you look the same as they do.

Calling someone out when they try to spread lies or exaggerations about you is expected, and not the same,and i only have a problem with that one here, and a couple of others, out of hundreds of members.

You see my reputation, and it didn't happen by acting superior or saying everyone is wrong but by helping and adding to a discussion. You really shouldn't talk, as you have a reputation here for dissing foreigners, like a couple of others, while I never do, nor act prejudiced towards anyone or any groups. I'm good to women, children and the only ones i don't get along with here are trolls. Best to read more, comprehend, before you reply, as it doesn't fare well for you calling me the fool.

It´s simple Freddy. If you want your life private as you said so many times. Number one rule is to not post about it in an open forum and after fight with everybody who doesn´t believe the story is like you are telling it. That´s just dumb!

As a second, you are telling that you know how it went down and you are telling the true story. Yeah, you are saying that. We haven´t heard what your ex has to say about you and her opinion about things. As long as that is a fact, you can try to convince the world about your story. You know, the one-sided story.

So, as a result you push on with that everyone is wrong and you are right. That makes you present yourself as a superior oracle. Anyway, I am not as long-winding as you, as I don´t need to convince anybody about anything. To sum it up: You are telling your story, in an open forum, for everyone to read and discuss. Some people will have sympathy and blindly believe your story. That comes from two human versions. The first one is the naive type, and the second one is the male chauvinist, that always blame the other sex for their mistakes and misery.

On the other side, you have the more awake part of the population on planet earth, that are the ones who are critical to one-sided information and always likes to fact check things. The ones who also get more critical when a person tries and tries over and over again to convince people about a one-sided story.

What it all comes down to Freddy, is that you are telling us that we don´t have any evidence of the contrary. Ok fair, but do you have any evidence that there is no contrary. So, now read and learn. Go back to number one rule and think hard about that one! That was the one you forgot, and therefore the one that could have saved you.

3 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

Because you assume things without any evidence.

Again, we are there. The big fault in your presentation technique. Others assume things without proof or evidence. That´s not true at all. We assume things might be different, as you are on one side and only present a one-sided story. If you don´t want discussions about this, and only want everyone to accept your opinion and your side of the story then, again, you shouldn´t make it open for debate. So, the only one that holds the burden of proof here is you Freddy as you so openly present yourself as the plaintiff in this case.

Have you found your views on relationships changed since living in Thailand?...... Welcome to the reality of ''up to you''

56 minutes ago, Gottfrid said:

It´s simple Freddy. If you want your life private as you said so many times. Number one rule is to not post about it in an open forum and after fight with everybody who doesn´t believe the story is like you are telling it. That´s just dumb!...

Sounds to me like he is a troll and a pretty good one?

This should be universial

4 minutes ago, Hummin said:

This should be universial

I give him Guru status for that skit

1 hour ago, Gottfrid said:

It´s simple Freddy. If you want your life private as you said so many times. Number one rule is to not post about it in an open forum and after fight with everybody who doesn´t believe the story is like you are telling it. That´s just dumb!

As a second, you are telling that you know how it went down and you are telling the true story. Yeah, you are saying that. We haven´t heard what your ex has to say about you and her opinion about things. As long as that is a fact, you can try to convince the world about your story. You know, the one-sided story.

So, as a result you push on with that everyone is wrong and you are right. That makes you present yourself as a superior oracle. Anyway, I am not as long-winding as you, as I don´t need to convince anybody about anything. To sum it up: You are telling your story, in an open forum, for everyone to read and discuss. Some people will have sympathy and blindly believe your story. That comes from two human versions. The first one is the naive type, and the second one is the male chauvinist, that always blame the other sex for their mistakes and misery.

On the other side, you have the more awake part of the population on planet earth, that are the ones who are critical to one-sided information and always likes to fact check things. The ones who also get more critical when a person tries and tries over and over again to convince people about a one-sided story.

What it all comes down to Freddy, is that you are telling us that we don´t have any evidence of the contrary. Ok fair, but do you have any evidence that there is no contrary. So, now read and learn. Go back to number one rule and think hard about that one! That was the one you forgot, and therefore the one that could have saved you.

The longer we are here, the more details slips out, that normal, even for you and everyone else who participate in treads like this, and we learn to deal with, and of course share a tiny bit less. But to believe you have a genuine and real relationship here in Thailand and tell about how it is, makes us targets, no matter what we say, or what we actually do in life to make a relationship work.

As bad as paying for everything without anything in return or arrangement for responsibility, there is those who do not contribute at all. Something between is how it should work.

12 minutes ago, wombat said:

I give him Guru status for that skit

At first, I found him a bit too offensive, but maybe that was just the time and the few clips I had seen. They felt a little over the edge for me. Now, though, I see him as a great comedian and a great human being who actually has something valuable to share.

10 minutes ago, Hummin said:

The longer we are here, the more details slips out, that normal, even for you and everyone else who participate in treads like this, and we learn to deal with, and of course share a tiny bit less. But to believe you have a genuine and real relationship here in Thailand and tell about how it is, makes us targets, no matter what we say, or what we actually do in life to make a relationship work.

As bad as paying for everything without anything in return or arrangement for responsibility, there is those who do not contribute at all. Something between is how it should work.

Surely! Agree. What I am doing here, is just hitting the wall trying to make Freddy understand that a story told by one part and the other part unheard, will not build any confidence, but he has a hard time getting that.

24 minutes ago, wombat said:

Sounds to me like he is a troll and a pretty good one?

Yeah, it´s true quality on this. ;-)

Just now, Hummin said:

2 minutes ago, Gottfrid said:

Surely! Agree. What I am doing here, is just hitting the wall trying to make Freddy understand that a story told by one part and the other part unheard, will not build any confidence, but he has a hard time getting that.

If you cannot say anything positive about your exes and place all the blame on them, it honestly makes you seem one-sided and leaves you open to criticism. My wife once met a friend of my ex, who asked her what I had said about our relationship. My wife simply replied, “Nothing.” That is one rule I live by: never speak badly about your exes. In the end, responsibility also lies with you, especially in how long you allow painful experiences to shape you, and how bitter you choose to become because of them.

I told them both that if I started complaining about my ex and talking about how hurt I felt back then, I would also have to admit that I was the fool who stayed too long, and now have to make excuses.

I would rather learn from it and move on than drag it into the next chapter of my life. That part of my life is history, and not something I need to keep revisiting—not with her, and not here. For me, that is closure. And looking back, it was not just pain; it was also experience, growth, and a lesson for life.

4 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

Actually, you made it easy to point you out, displaying many of the symptoms of a narc. Especially the constant deflection and gaslighting. I don't need help from a disturbed individual, and there isn't any for you.

Again, you are describing yourself. More and more people are seeing it for themselves. You try to deflect by calling them Trolls and morons etc The gaslighting is obvious. It's you who displays the symptoms.

As to people accusing you of lying...who has done that? Point them out and I will chastise them for you. 😊

My belief is that you have actually convinced yourself that you are blameless in all of these situations. So for you it is not a lie.

My question is simple. Can you accept that your behaviour might have contributed to the deterioration of your relationships?

I'm not stating categorically that is what happened, but can you accept that maybe you are not as easy to live with as you would like people to imagine?

Something else that you are unable to process, is the concept of how you behave here. You see it as 'defending yourself'. That's fine, but it is the way that you do it. The abuse, the name calling, the labelling. Not due to any evidence, but to your heightened level of emotion. Can you accept that people will make judgements after seeing that kind of behaviour literally hundreds of times, if not thousands?

Can you reply to this post intelligently and cogently, in the style you would in person?

12 minutes ago, Gottfrid said:

Surely! Agree. What I am doing here, is just hitting the wall trying to make Freddy understand that a story told by one part and the other part unheard, will not build any confidence, but he has a hard time getting that.

Have you ever experienced any of the members, who actually backed off and changed their opinions here? Change of attitude and change of «style» writing, or beliefs?

16 minutes ago, Hummin said:

At first, I found him a bit too offensive,

You found him offensive because you spend too much time listening to blockheads.

Comedians are the only people who can be brutally honest.

Because everyone else would be considered too offensive or politically incorrect, but their comments are thinly veiled as humor, even though most of what they say has some truth to it.

2 minutes ago, Hummin said:

If you cannot say anything positive about your exes and place all the blame on them, it honestly makes you seem one-sided and leaves you open to criticism. My wife once met a friend of my ex, who asked her what I had said about our relationship. My wife simply replied, “Nothing.” That is one rule I live by: never speak badly about your exes. In the end, responsibility also lies with you, especially in how long you allow painful experiences to shape you, and how bitter you choose to become because of them.

I told them both that if I started complaining about my ex and talking about how hurt I felt back then, I would also have to admit that I was the fool who stayed too long, and now have to make excuses.

I would rather learn from it and move on than drag it into the next chapter of my life. That part of my life is history, and not something I need to keep revisiting—not with her, and not here. For me, that is closure. And looking back, it was not just pain; it was also experience, growth, and a lesson for life.

+1 from me! That´s exactly how it should work. In my case, there is child involved in the divorce. So, still, 28 years after the divorce, we are still talking to each other online and sometimes in phone. Totally natural.

7 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Have you ever experienced any of the members, who actually backed off and changed their opinions here? Change of attitude and change of «style» writing, or beliefs?

The answer to that question would be no, or very rare. However, in that department I know I am quite difficult to change as well. However, I have more or less put it on the back burner. Go in and make some comments and usually not discuss it so much further anymore. However, Freddy is an exception.

4 minutes ago, Gottfrid said:

The answer to that question would be no, or very rare. However, in that department I know I am quite difficult to change as well. However, I have more or less put it on the back burner. Go in and make some comments and usually not discuss it so much further anymore. However, Freddy is an exception.

I feel I have matured a bit on the forum, but who knows, and also calmed down a bit, and also trying to see what I actually write, and why I write, but my opinions is the same, just slightly rounded or what you call it ? Edged off a bit?

27 minutes ago, Hummin said:

The longer we are here, the more details slips out, that normal, even for you and everyone else who participate in treads like this, and we learn to deal with, and of course share a tiny bit less. But to believe you have a genuine and real relationship here in Thailand and tell about how it is, makes us targets, no matter what we say, or what we actually do in life to make a relationship work.

As bad as paying for everything without anything in return or arrangement for responsibility, there is those who do not contribute at all. Something between is how it should work.

I guess that is what is on your mind when you make comments to me. The fact that I do not need to pay out for everything in my relationships, seems a sore point for you.

The fact is, that no one really cares about your situation...nor mine. What really bothers some, is the basis for comparison. Once they read that someone is not having to pay, they start to conjure up 'reasons' in their minds, in order to salve their egos. The latest is that I am taking advantage of these poor women. Anything to try to bring this 'achievement' down, so they can feel superior or at least equal.

I don't mind. I can see the behaviour in real time. An anthropological study if you will. How they throw mud and hope it sticks. Sometimes so obviously primitive, but rarely insightful and intelligent.

The fact is that we are all going to do it differently, finding ways to cope with life. As I said before, I hope all of you are here through the years, continuing to grow and learn, even challenging each other to do so.

For those screaming and crying about trolls and other monsters....time to grow up. Learn to deal with perspectives other than your own, without the need to go 'off the rails'.

14 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

You found him offensive because you spend too much time listening to blockheads.

Comedians are the only people who can be brutally honest.

Because everyone else would be considered too offensive or politically incorrect, but their comments are thinly veiled as humor, even though most of what they say has some truth to it.

Humor is not universal, with universal language and culture, so it takes time and also language skills. Mr Bean, Charlie Chaplin was universal because they do not use verbal language.

22 minutes ago, Hummin said:

If you cannot say anything positive about your exes and place all the blame on them, it honestly makes you seem one-sided and leaves you open to criticism. My wife once met a friend of my ex, who asked her what I had said about our relationship. My wife simply replied, “Nothing.” That is one rule I live by: never speak badly about your exes. In the end, responsibility also lies with you, especially in how long you allow painful experiences to shape you, and how bitter you choose to become because of them.

I told them both that if I started complaining about my ex and talking about how hurt I felt back then, I would also have to admit that I was the fool who stayed too long, and now have to make excuses.

I would rather learn from it and move on than drag it into the next chapter of my life. That part of my life is history, and not something I need to keep revisiting—not with her, and not here. For me, that is closure. And looking back, it was not just pain; it was also experience, growth, and a lesson for life.

Just so you know, I 'liked' this post.

Just now, IsmeUno said:

I guess that is what is on your mind when you make comments to me. The fact that I do not need to pay out for everything in my relationships, seems a sore point for you.

The fact is, that no one really cares about your situation...nor mine. What really bothers some, is the basis for comparison. Once they read that someone is not having to pay, they start to conjure up 'reasons' in their minds, in order to salve their egos. The latest is that I am taking advantage of these poor women. Anything to try to bring this 'achievement' down, so they can feel superior or at least equal.

I don't mind. I can see the behaviour in real time. An anthropological study if you will. How they throw mud and hope it sticks. Sometimes so obviously primitive, but rarely insightful and intelligent.

The fact is that we are all going to do it differently, finding ways to cope with life. As I said before, I hope all of you are here through the years, continuing to grow and learn, even challenging each other to do so.

For those screaming and crying and trolls and other monsters....time to grow up. Learn to deal with perspectives other than your own, without the need to go 'off the rails'.

Why do you always take it personal, you are not the only person on this forum, and many in here do have the same opinion as you, and do tell in every thread they appear to say so. And you do it as often you can to.

And you know nothing about our arrangement how it works in practice but you love to project on it, as you do now, as you will do tomorrow, and the next alias when you get tired of this one! You are the one who never changes. And even you comfort us with you have a great life, your story here tells something else.

23 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Have you ever experienced any of the members, who actually backed off and changed their opinions here? Change of attitude and change of «style» writing, or beliefs?

That's a lot to expect. Change is often slow and gradual. But yes, I see change, though not always for the better. For instance I see some members being influenced by others. Again, not always for the better.

12 minutes ago, Hummin said:

I feel I have matured a bit on the forum, but who knows, and also calmed down a bit, and also trying to see what I actually write, and why I write, but my opinions is the same, just slightly rounded or what you call it ? Edged off a bit?

Again, a positive emoji for this one.

1 minute ago, IsmeUno said:

That's a lot to expect. Change is often slow and gradual. But yes, I see change, though not always for the better. For instance I see some members being influenced by others. Again, not always for the better.

I have one question: you always describe the other person as the one who goes off the rails, angry, crazy, or any number of other labels, and you keep bringing up the same issues over and over again.

But doesn’t that also involve your own reactions and behavior? Or are you only here to teach the rest of us lessons?

That’s something to think about.