I spit on Vista and all it's works.

Didn't know where else to put this, emiled to me by a friend and it made me smile. It offends everyone.

Subject: Terrorist escalation

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588 when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert: Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Americans meanwhile and as usual are carrying out pre-emptive strikes on all of their allies 'just in case'.

Canada doesn't have any alert levels.

And in the southern hemisphere ...

New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA". Due to continuing defense cutbacks (the airforce being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "I hope Australia will come and rescue us".

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be al'right, mate". Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!', "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled". So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

Thanks Tiggs - that email raised my amusement level from faint smile to audible titter. Only one level remains - Pythonesque death from deadly joke.

Excellent!

Terrorist escalation

So funny

Keeping a copy of that.

BTW.

Great to see ya back, Ping.... err front too.

Bin ages, we last spoke in Patong back in November

I saw Win 7, 100 Baht in Pantip, Bangers last week, and 100 Pesos in Manila.

Not game enuff to buy it.

Anywayz, welcome back, cobber.

Having arrived back in Melbourne, it took me around five days to get my notebook back up to its former state. (I must get around to making a back-up image of the HD. This is the third time in 18 months that Vista has irretrievably crashed and burned - twice while I was in Thailand without the ability to reinstall. Wish I'd had the foresight a week ago to buy and install Win 7.)

I wouldn't rush into 7. I think I have been vindicated by not switching to Vista. Let the masses test it for a year or more.

I'm one of the masses you speak of. I had Vista, it was she-1te. Had windows 7 installed and I must admit, I love it.

Keep on testing it for me then. Thanks.

Are you still using Abacus 1 or have you moved on from that to Abacus 2

Keep on testing it for me then. Thanks.

Are you still using Abacus 1 or have you moved on from that to Abacus 2

DOS 3.1. It was DOS 6.2 when they started trying too hard to anticipate the ignorance of the consumer, and thereby tripping over their own egos.

BTW.

Great to see ya back, Ping.... err front too.

Bin ages, we last spoke in Patong back in November

I saw Win 7, 100 Baht in Pantip, Bangers last week, and 100 Pesos in Manila.

Not game enuff to buy it.

Anywayz, welcome back, cobber.

Thanks Pete - I wouldn't be bothering with knock-offs, though. My daugther has (genuine) Win 7 on her computer and was telling me how good it was. As a demo, she tried to open a program and - you guessed it - was met with the dreaded BSoD. (Now that the notebook's up and running again, I'll persevere with Vista until I replace my computers. Oddly, my [Vista] desktop computer, which I've had 6 months longer than the notebook and which has had far more use, has never missed a beat.)

I just noticed that the Phuket SF seems unusually nice and friendly. I checked and noted that Huggybear has been banned at long last. Interesting correlation.

I think I am in love with a girl. Wanted to ask Sibey for some advice but.....

It's just....

You know.

Whatever hppened to Coldcrush (the OP) - he last posted in December 07?

Some are shown the door others just fade away.

Kerry is still the biggest mystery/

BTW.

Great to see ya back, Ping.... err front too.

Bin ages, we last spoke in Patong back in November

I saw Win 7, 100 Baht in Pantip, Bangers last week, and 100 Pesos in Manila.

Not game enuff to buy it.

Anywayz, welcome back, cobber.

Thanks Pete - I wouldn't be bothering with knock-offs, though. My daugther has (genuine) Win 7 on her computer and was telling me how good it was. As a demo, she tried to open a program and - you guessed it - was met with the dreaded BSoD. (Now that the notebook's up and running again, I'll persevere with Vista until I replace my computers. Oddly, my [Vista] desktop computer, which I've had 6 months longer than the notebook and which has had far more use, has never missed a beat.)

I have no complaints about Vista.

It's neva missed a beat.

I will get Win 7 before too long, wait for the relevant SP 1 to appear.

And her eyes they shone like diamonds...

And her eyes they shone like diamonds...

Sad to loose such a strong voice at a young age.

Cold as the wind

That carried your ghost.

Silent as the songs

That remain unsung.

Lonely As An Echo

From The Jail of Cluain Meala.

Solitary As Your Silhouette

Going Home By Railings

After Closing Time.

Upright And defiant As Your Stance

When You Challenged The Puppets Of Power

"For What Died The Sons Of Roisin!"

Like Your Voice...

Unweathered By Time

This Granite Gravestone.

Your Epitaph - A Simple Claim:

Between The Two Great Mysteries,

Your Place, Your Name

Nice one Pooklook!

Some are shown the door others just fade away.

Kerry is still the biggest mystery/

There could go you or I or many other members.

How many only know us from the forum? We disappear and none would be any the wiser.

Whoever thought cobblestones were a good idea as a road surface had rocks in their head.

If it were not for cobbled streets, would anyone have thought of inventing rocky road? (Which leads one to question where the idea for polly waffles came from...)

The adjective metopic means "of the forehead."

The adjective metopic means "of the forehead."

I have just finished readin your post in "Random Facts".

Is it possible you posted a random post there, and a random fact here?

As I replyed to your Random Fact post, I thought it would be better suited to Random Posts...and vice verca when I came to this thread.

Not that it matters..... Just an observation.

The adjective metopic means "of the forehead."

I have just finished readin your post in "Random Facts".

Is it possible you posted a random post there, and a random fact here?

As I replyed to your Random Fact post, I thought it would be better suited to Random Posts...and vice verca when I came to this thread.

Not that it matters..... Just an observation.

Shouldn't that be "reading", "replied" and "vice versa"?

Not that it matters..... Just an observation.

/ Priceless

If it were not for cobbled streets, would anyone have thought of inventing rocky road? (Which leads one to question where the idea for polly waffles came from...)

Keep talking about polly waffles and the thread will be moved to "Outside the Box".

Talking of which, it's a bit dusty here in Saudi today.

The adjective metopic means "of the forehead."

I have just finished readin your post in "Random Facts".

Is it possible you posted a random post there, and a random fact here?

As I replyed to your Random Fact post, I thought it would be better suited to Random Posts...and vice verca when I came to this thread.

Not that it matters..... Just an observation.

Shouldn't that be "reading", "replied" and "vice versa"?

Not that it matters..... Just an observation.

/ Priceless

yes that should be, thankyou. One was a typo, the others were mistakes. I do that.

The adjective metopic means "of the forehead."

I have just finished readin your post in "Random Facts".

Is it possible you posted a random post there, and a random fact here?

As I replyed to your Random Fact post, I thought it would be better suited to Random Posts...and vice verca when I came to this thread.

Not that it matters..... Just an observation.

Shouldn't that be "reading", "replied" and "vice versa"?

Not that it matters..... Just an observation.

/ Priceless

yes that should be, thankyou. One was a typo, the others were mistakes. I do that.

So do I

/ Priceless

Dictionaries. They're the way forward.

It's not a dictionary thing, it's about being in a hurry to get what you want to say on the board.

I do it all the time which explains why I'm constantly editing my posts. I'm not changing my opinion I'm just changing there to their most of the time.

Edit: Decided there and their looked better in italics.

I have just sat down to watch Pulp Fiction.