Two Brothers Cannot Marry Same Year....

[blizzard]

these guys just dont listen to the warning signs.

maybe there is a shortage of thais to marry. if they lose the one they got they might not find another.............lol.

[DP25]

Mr girlfriend is Thai and has never heard of this, and doesn't know why two brothers couldn't marry the same year. She says it happens all the time and they can get married the same week if they want.

[luke71]

Thai girls dont compromise that easily....especially if it relates to culture or tradition. And moreso to family face.

Family would have lost face in the event of moving the marriage to 2009.

Let me understand:

- if she did not accept: she has something else in her mind (other man, wants to leave me, cheats on me..)

- if she accepts: she compromises too easily

So, what was the right thing to do here for her?

I guess nothing. If you had bad experiences with girls in Thailand probably you are all too ready to judge all of them the same. Well, good news: there are good girls in Thailand. Many. Actually, most of them are.

Of course it is not so easy to meet them in those bars westerners seem to enjoy so much.

I met many. Maybe because I never set foot in bars and I met them in non tourist places?

you came here and asked a question, that means you are unsure about something... work that out first.

Don't tell me you are westerner and are sure about everything with your thai girl.

If you are I guess you are oversimplifying.

What I learnt in 3 years is that you can never be sure and will always need some help from people who know more than you. This is a very distant culture.

I did the same in China. You do need help.

I came here to ask for an information : if that belief was common and how to deal with it.

I learnt that it actually was common. That was all for me.

Then I got many advices too. Most based on the assumption that I am one of the losers who get caught by a clever girl.

Of course, I would have made the same assumption, being so many of them in Thailand.

Thailand is in a way the land where losers get a nice girl, mostly because the girl does not care about that, but about the money.

I do not consider myself one of these losers (well..who does?).

Anyway, thanks, I am not offended or lost or angry, actually the whole discussion is interesting.

Luca

[blizzard]

it might help if you tell us about the other instances where yr gurl has acted strangely.

ps.please explaiinn how losers get nice gurl( a nice non money grubbing one) in thailand.

ps2 what did yr gurl do for a living be4 she becummed yr employee?

[tropo]

It wouldn't be a good idea to get married to someone so superstitious.

Give it a miss.

I'm surprised you even had to ask for advice on this.

[woodyleonhard]

The custom is not, necessarily, either superstitious nor an attempt to bilk the farang.

My wife comes from a fairly traditional family in Surat Thani (southern Thailand). We told her family that we were getting married on a certain date last year. Made most of the arrangements for a small-town wedding.

Long story short, her sister needed to get married in rather short order. She took over the arrangements we had made, and got married on the date my wife and I originally planned.

We had to postpone our wedding for a year because of the belief that sisters should not get married in the same year. (In our case, the "year" was a Thai calendar year, extending from Songkran to Songkran.)

Both of the sisters are professionals, university graduates. One is the general manager of a rather large company. The delay had nothing to do with sin sod - I didn't give a sin sod. But it had a lot to do with respecting the family's traditions.

If you were marrying an Italian woman, and her family was insistent about something - say, that you get married in a Roman Catholic church, or that you not marry on Friday the 13th, or that you see a priest for counseling before marriage, or that she wear a white dress, or that she not see you on your wedding day prior to the ceremony - would you go along with the family?

Marital customs vary all over the world. Mostly, it's a question of respect.

[neion2000]

I'd or I'll try to look at the bright side of this, at least she said postpone the wedding date and not canx.. This could be some type of superstition or belief or it could be something more sinister, but let's go with it what their family believes in..

For example my Thai girlfriend grandparents were building a more modern home a long, long time ago.. They had the cement pillars in the ground when they stopped the construction of it. Both the Grandparents supposedly had the same dream one night of snakes in the house they were building, so they stopped building it and went back to live in the bamboo piece of crap that looks like it's more than a hundred years old..

The not seeing you for one year seems a little strange in my opinion..

[yamaharr1]

My brother an American married a Thai and her brother was suppose to get married the same year but they had to cancel her brothers wedding because of not being allowed to have 2 family members get married in the same year and there marriage was also announced but once her brother canceled the wedding they didn't stop seeing each other they just waited for a year and no one lost face because all Thai's know and understand this belief.

If she is trying to postpone it and telling you that you can't see each other I think she is trying to persuade you to get your brother to postpone his wedding and if in fact this is the motive then imagine how it will be once you are married. Sounds like someone may be a bit on the un-trustable side.

I know this will roll in 1 ear and out the other but you may want to think about who you are marrying.

[luke71]

Thank you guys.

As some may have not read all the messages, I repeat: she did not want my bro to change the date and accepted, even if not too happily, to forget the superstion.

[Pd10642]

Oh no, siblings marrying in the same year is one of the worst curses out there! Be afraid, be very afraid.

Seriously dude.

[LivinLOS]

What about the Thai guy who married the two sisters last year..

Hows that one gonna work out ??

[luke71]

What about the Thai guy who married the two sisters last year..

Hows that one gonna work out ??

Oh no, siblings marrying in the same year is one of the worst curses out there! Be afraid, be very afraid.

Seriously dude.

The point here is not if a same year marriage is actually going to bring bad luck.

It's a superstition: you could bring the last 50 years statistics and they may be showing that 99% of same year marriages worked, against say, 70% of the other ones and still that would not be a proof for them.

[Doudou]

Luca, all this voodoo BS is actually against the Buddha's teaching.  One of the issue in Thailand, is that so many are ready to believe in anything.  Just look at the mania with amulets.  Like in many developing economies (like Brazil) spirits and voodoo is often on people's mind.  Particularly to people with low education level.

I would suggest that you go with your GF to a respected temple, and try to get her to talk one of the important monks.  Since these beliefs are not compatible with Buddhism, then you have a high chance to let her and her family see the light.

[LivinLOS]

Luca, all this voodoo BS is actually against the Buddha's teaching. One of the issue in Thailand, is that so many are ready to believe in anything. Just look at the mania with amulets. Like in many developing economies (like Brazil) spirits and voodoo is often on people's mind. Particularly to people with low education level.

I would suggest that you go with your GF to a respected temple, and try to get her to talk one of the important monks. Since these beliefs are not compatible with Buddhism, then you have a high chance to let her and her family see the light.

Unless the monk you speak to is also thinking this way..

Monks blessing cars not to break down, blessing washing machines to last, etc etc.. Very Bhuddist !!

[Mason45]

Hello there,

Just sharing my experience, looking for help and advice.

In October me and my girlfriend decided to get married in march 2008 (we have been together for 3 years).

She had told me to ask my elder brother (he is in Germany) if he plans to marry in 2008 too, as they believe the following:

- Two brothers cannot get married the same year.

But I did not ask him, because:

- if he had plans to marry that would have influenced his choice. The last thing I wanted was to ask my brother to marry a year later because of my girlfriend's beliefs.

- if he has plans to marry he should have to propose his girlfriend first, before telling me.

Turns out he has planned ot marry before I told him about my marriage, and proposed later.

Now my girlfriend wants to marry in 2009, which is fine for me, but also does not want me to go and see her until that date because of her parent's shame (they had already announced the marriage).

Nice one, eh?

Have somebody heard of a similar situation? Any suggestions?

Thanks!

Luca

Luca, I smell a rat, it would appear that there's a 3rd party involved in your situation. Do you live with her or just holiday with her and send her money monthly? You wouldn't be the first farang to support a Thai lady and her Thai partner. I've lived in the Isaan area for 5 years now and my Thai wife is Isaan too and believe me there's no limit for their desire for money so as to buy things that make people envy them in their own village and your gf's parents would be no different and even losing face would be far better for them than losing the goose that lays the golden eggs. Thais love playing mind games, I would advise you to try a few on her. A recent survey in the Isaan area suggested that 85% of mothers there were happy for their daughters to marry farangs, so I'd be very wary if I were you.