Lost The Maid / Child Minder !

[torrenova]

My wife went home to Buriram to visit a friend who had lost her baby at 7 months and unfortunately she didn't pull through and died a couple of weeks later. As my wife's mother wanted to see our baby again, my wife took her up to Buriram with the maid / nanny / childcare helper (or whatever ?) who is a member of the family.

After the funeral and a couple of days rest, my wife came back with our baby but the maid did not. I asked where she was and she said that she couldn't stay in Buriram for so long and came back to Pattaya early to be with her husband and had now got a new job (<deleted> ?). We are only talking a week and a bit, not months. She was being paid and could see the family so I don't understand. Even if she did come back she could have had a few days off then started up again when my wife came back.

That is it with these people ? Family as well ? Asked her today and she just put on the "I don't speak english" look. Just don't get the fact that they will shit on their own family. Guess she's forfeit her New Year bonus then !

[sonicdragon]

Probably she was not happy about some aspect of the job, and used your absence as an easy excuse to quit.

[MrSquigle]

Get another one, not like they are rare as hens teeth.

I have found, best thing is to get one without husband/boyfriend.

We started a new one a couple of weeks ago, she turned up to start work at 8am and she had her boyfriend with her. She was gone that night.

[sbk]

Probably she was not happy about some aspect of the job, and used your absence as an easy excuse to quit.

That's been my experience as well, not with my own staff but I have seen it regularly with neighbors. Usually the staff is unhappy over something and find a BS excuse to quit. The difference being, of course, that Thai people see a BS excuse and realize it is a cover for something else. Foreigners tend to take the BS excuse at face value.

Before judging your maid so harshly you might want to find out more about what happened in Buriram.

[Boo]

first thing that I thought when I read the op was the maids husband made a fuss about her being away so she felt forced to return to Pattaya & find alternate work to appease him somehow. Maybe he didn't like that she had to go away for her job rather than come home at night to him?

[torrenova]

The daft thing is that we discussed with her a few weeks ago about Xmas and New Year and time off and grandma wanting to see the baby and the potential that my wife and are likely to be very busy at that time and whether she wanted to go with the baby to Buriram for a couple of weeks. As the timings stood, she'd be going to Buriram with her husband for a week or more anyway (he works for the local government) so it all fitted in nicely and she was glad that she didn't have to ask for time off.

Nothing "happened" in Buriram and even her coming back before my wife did was not an issue with us and my wife assures me that it was not a point of bad feeling.

I don't think any of that is really a factor but what strikes my wife and I as strange is the fact that she got another job (less salary package and more days of longer hours - <deleted> ?) as soon as she got back.

As for getting a new one, I don't think that is going to be easy or even possible. Our daughter is only 5 months old and I think we both feel a stranger would not be acceptable to us. Someone to clean and cook ok but child minding ? I don't think so. Also leaving a stranger in our house is not something we would find easy I think (much harder than I thought it would be).

So I don't know where that leaves us. There is a 16 year old cousin that my wife likes and trusts with the baby but she is still at school so that is not an option except perhaps for some holidays (do they have holidays over Xmas and New Year ?).

I'll be honest but it is really hard to think about what to do when one of you has to be home all the time babysitting.