Advice For Single Men

[DJ Pat]

*Can't get a blow job? Simply strip <deleted> naked, plonk yourself arse-first into an empty dustbin, and you should be able to do it yourself. Use a pile of tyres instead of a dustbin if you require deep throat.

*Convince people that you have a girlfriend by standing outside any ladies clothes store with several bags of shopping, looking at your watch and occasionally glancing inside.

*Impress your potential shag in the pub by telling her you are in the special forces.

*Splitting the bill on a first date ensures that you will indeed be bashing one out later that evning.

*When approaching a girl in a shopping mall, asking the time is a good icebreaker.

*Thai girls will always tell you they don't have a boyfriend, even if he is sitting next to her.

*When sitting alone in the cinema, make people think you have multiple girlfriends by pretending to send and recieve SMS messages on your phone.

*Ditto above whilst dining alone

*At your apartment block, make your security guard think you're waiting for female company by standing around tutting and sighing and checking your phone. Asking him the time on several occasions will further convince him.

* Bi-curious desperate single men. Go to a male doctor and complain of rectal bleeding. The resultant erotic anal probe will be a safe way to find out whether gayness is really for you.

*At 2am, if you still haven't pulled, make others think you're going home to a hot naked girl by pretending to send and recieve SMS messages on your mobile phone.

[SeaVisionBurma]

Jokes Forum, me thinks mods.

What you have posted here is surely not serious advice from someone who thinks that a fellow with a BG is a sad individual.

Can't see how you would need this advice - after all there's loads of normal (uni) girls out there, right?

Apologies if this is a bit harsh, just that time of the day.

[DJ Pat]

Jokes Forum, me thinks mods.

What you have posted here is surely not serious advice from someone who thinks that a fellow with a BG is a sad individual.

Can't see how you would need this advice - after all there's loads of normal (uni) girls out there, right?

Apologies if this is a bit harsh, just that time of the day.

That's not harsh, no offence taken.

When I say that anyone who entertains BGs is sad I mean relatively, compared to my personal situation and the fact that many of you on this board seem to take your BGs so seriously.

Anyway it was meant to be humourous.

[Wolfie]

Ok i'll move this over to the jokes then...

[DJ Pat]

Ok i'll move this over to the jokes then...

I thought more people could 'appreciate' the advice if it was posted here.