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On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a gas

station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant,

who obviously knows nothing about golf and is completely unaware of

Tiger's identity, greets him in a typical Irish manner. "Top of the

mornin' to ya, sir," says the attendant. Tiger, who is familiar with

Irish customs, responds with, "And the rest of the day to you, sir!"

Tiger then bends forward to pick up the nozzle of the gasoline hose.

As he does so, two golf tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the

ground. "What are those?" asks the attendant. "They're called tees,"

replies Tiger. "And what on the good earth are they fer?" inquires

the Irishman. "They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving," says

Tiger.

"Freckin Jaysus," says the Irishman, "BMW thinks of everything

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