Confused about who to vote for in the election ? Worried that no matter who you vote for you're going to get screwed ? Why not vote for these guys and be certain of getting screwed.

http://www.sexparty.org.au

I clicked on to your link and got

<snip>

Do you think there is censorship in Vietnam, or is my browser faulty?

I think you're in deep doo-doo now.

Well, so far nothing has happened. And it's three-thirty in the morning.

Hang on, there's a knock at the door.

I'll get back to you in a jiffy.

Well, so far nothing has happened. And it's three-thirty in the morning.

Hang on, there's a knock at the door.

I'll get back to you in a jiffy.

It's a little late to be ordering home delivery.

Well, so far nothing has happened. And it's three-thirty in the morning.

Hang on, there's a knock at the door.

I'll get back to you in a jiffy.

It's a little late to be ordering home delivery.

Not when you are in Thailand. That is the time the girls are walking the streets after the bars are closed.

Not when you are in Thailand. That is the time the girls are walking the streets after the bars are closed.

And the only gentlemanly thing to do is to offer shelter to those in need, right ?

Well, so far nothing has happened. And it's three-thirty in the morning.

Hang on, there's a knock at the door.

I'll get back to you in a jiffy.

It's a little late to be ordering home delivery.

Not when you are in Thailand. That is the time the girls are walking the streets after the bars are closed.

It's OK, chaps - I'm back.

Just returned from the local lock-up - they told me this thread was going way off track and the choice was to spend three nights in jail or discuss Julie Gillard's economic policy.

Obvious choice, wasn't it? Three nights without Australia Network would normally be hel_l, but until Saturdsy next ...

Not when you are in Thailand. That is the time the girls are walking the streets after the bars are closed.

And the only gentlemanly thing to do is to offer shelter to those in need, right ?

Right. That is why I have a king sized bed in my room. I never know HOW many "guests" will be sleeping there. It's been as many as 4 and as few as one.

Well, so far nothing has happened. And it's three-thirty in the morning.

Hang on, there's a knock at the door.

I'll get back to you in a jiffy.

It's a little late to be ordering home delivery.

Not when you are in Thailand. That is the time the girls are walking the streets after the bars are closed.

It's OK, chaps - I'm back.

Just returned from the local lock-up - they told me this thread was going way off track and the choice was to spend three nights in jail or discuss Julie Gillard's economic policy.

Obvious choice, wasn't it? Three nights without Australia Network would normally be hel_l, but until Saturdsy next ...

I CANNOT believe this thread is still going after all these years - the only reference to Australia are the words: Australia, Humphrey Bear, "lock-up" and Julia Gillard

Sometimes " handstands" get a mention.

It's a little late to be ordering home delivery.

Not when you are in Thailand. That is the time the girls are walking the streets after the bars are closed.

It's OK, chaps - I'm back.

Just returned from the local lock-up - they told me this thread was going way off track and the choice was to spend three nights in jail or discuss Julie Gillard's economic policy.

Obvious choice, wasn't it? Three nights without Australia Network would normally be hel_l, but until Saturdsy next ...

I CANNOT believe this thread is still going after all these years - the only reference to Australia are the words: Australia, Humphrey Bear, "lock-up" and Julia Gillard

Yup, still going strong.

Which is more than Julie Gillard will be doing by the time all the votes are in.

And more than the Dockers did today. Hawks got a cricket score, Dockers didn't turn up!

After the Australian election yesterday one Party was very happy with the result.

A hung parliament was just what The Sex Party was looking for.

I'm really upset with you Aussies for killing my pet. I've had Ivan since he was just a little gaffer...

Then I took him to Australia to find him a mate and this guy went and killed him...

There was the little matter about Ivan eating the guy's gardener, but that's no reason to kill a family pet.

Looking at the results of the Australian national erection - there are still only two groups represented in those results, really.

Out of 150 seats more than 140 will go to either ALP or the Liberal/National/Country party coalition. There is no credible third party for people to turn to, when the main two are failing to fulfill the wishes of the electorate.

The Greens have now won one seat. Hooray! But why not more? Because no one seems to have a belief that they have any sound economic and other policies. They appear to be regarded as just being interested in 'green' issues.

Fringe parties such as the Sex party, One Nation and so on appear and disappear.

What is needed is a credible third party, with good economic ideas, good foreign policy, good health and education ideas. Then perhaps the other two main parties would stop sniping at each other's personalities and get on with sorting out their own policies and making a good showing in their prospectuses (prospectii?)(prospecta?) for the next election.

Looking at the results of the Australian national erection - there are still only two groups represented in those results, really.

Out of 150 seats more than 140 will go to either ALP or the Liberal/National/Country party coalition. There is no credible third party for people to turn to, when the main two are failing to fulfill the wishes of the electorate.

The Greens have now won one seat. Hooray! But why not more? Because no one seems to have a belief that they have any sound economic and other policies. They appear to be regarded as just being interested in 'green' issues.

Fringe parties such as the Sex party, One Nation and so on appear and disappear.

What is needed is a credible third party, with good economic ideas, good foreign policy, good health and education ideas. Then perhaps the other two main parties would stop sniping at each other's personalities and get on with sorting out their own policies and making a good showing in their prospectuses (prospectii?)(prospecta?) for the next election.

Yeah, Humph.

Have you seen what happens in NZ?

So many wannaby parties, no real elected members, just lotta hangers around.

Tails waggin the dawg here.

Each party that gets at least 5% of the vote gets a seat, or 2... 3.

MMP, Multi Member Proportional representation.

2 main parties, but deals are made for unconditional support.

122 seats if I rember correctly.

This snap cost Michael Wiles much notoriety - and an A$800 fine.

Ockors dun like kiwi ingenuity.......hahaha

Shades of The LoS

A Kiwi man who was caught riding his motorbike along the Eastern Freeway in Melbourne with a barbecue strapped to his body was fined A$800 (NZ$1007) today and lost his licence for one month.

Michael Wiles spotted the cast-off cooker on the nature strip where it had been left for rubbish collection and, not wanting to splurge on a new one, decided to pick it up and take it home.

The 29-year-old proceeded to thread his body through the barbecue's frame and popped up the grate in front of his helmet before setting off along the Eastern Freeway in Kew on January 27, 2008, reaching estimated speeds of 75km/h.

But his plan came unstuck when a stunned passer-by wound down their window and snapped a photograph, which was subsequently published in the media and led to Wiles's identity being revealed and a visit from the police.

In a further setback, the barbecue turned out to be "a dud", Wiles's lawyer Paul McClure told the Melbourne Magistrates Court today.

"That's probably why it was on the side of the road," Mr McClure said.

Magistrate Lionel Winton-Smith said he had never encountered a case such as this in all his years as a magistrate.

"I have seen people with perhaps bits of wood sticking out of the car, but a barbecue?" Mr Winton-Smith said.

"I'm trying to think of a word to describe it."

PMPL..... :cheesy:

Just what law would he be breaking by carrying a barbeque on his lap? He seems to have control of the motorcycle with both hands and nothing is protruding to endanger anyone else. It seems much to do about nothing, and a real jerk of a policeman and judge who charged him for his ingenuity. It is typical of so many people in authority And, it is for cases like this that I've lost all respect for most police forces.

Just what law would he be breaking by carrying a barbeque on his lap? He seems to have control of the motorcycle with both hands and nothing is protruding to endanger anyone else. It seems much to do about nothing, and a real jerk of a policeman and judge who charged him for his ingenuity. It is typical of so many people in authority And, it is for cases like this that I've lost all respect for most police forces.

Ian - since the first motor-car set out on the journey from home to the mother-in-law's, the police have concentrated on motor crime as against all other forms of criminal activity.

The motorist is usually a law-abiding citizen who may infringe upon some local by-law and get into trouble over something he does not regard as criminal. But he gets punished, anyway. And this has turned a large number of people in whatever country you wish to name against the police.

If the police wish to re-establish good relations with the general public, then the traffic police should be completely separated from the anti-criminal police, as should the court system that prosecutes the offence.

This is happening in some countries, but very slowly on a world-wide basis.

Too true, HB. In Canada we have an ill conceived sporting arms (guns) registration that has cost billions of dollars to implement and yet has not saved one life. It is money that COULD have been spent in actually saving lives in other fields, but has done nothing other than piss off a whole lot of honest citizens. I believe there was a similar law in Australia. Meanwhile, just across the border in the USA, people are walking around carrying handguns. Carrying Handguns have been illegal in Canada for as far back as I can remember and owning one needs a thick file of registration papers. The result is there are now more illegal handguns in Canada than there was 10 years ago... and more coming across the border all the time. But, does anything happen to criminals who actually commit an offense with a weapon? The answer is no, and the crooks get recycled through the courts with a fine and back out on the streets again.

We also have a ridiculous war on illegal drugs that has actually had a reverse effect... and increased the use of hard drugs. It hasn't changed because it would infringe on whomever in authority is getting an indirect payoff. Judges, lawyers and police all get their share of the pie and yet not one person has been saved. Some idiot in authority implemented a small boat license for people who use motorized craft under the length of 12 feet. That means some angler in a small boat with an electric motor has to pass a course and buy a license. The law was implemented to keep stupid idiots on jet skis (seados) from running over people but has had no effect at all. Meanwhile, huge yacht owners did not need a license to cruise around in their gin palaces.

The law truly is an ass and I have absolutely no faith in any of them. I'm so pissed off that I would give my sporting arms to some Islamic terrorist before I would give them to our police.

You two are rude.

You two are rude.

Whyso?

You two are rude.

Suiging - it's not the police I'm having a go at, it's the bureaucracy that requires them to take on many tasks other than hunting criminals.

The regular police should be tasked with catching the people who commit felonies against property or persons. Those who infringe on other laws, bylaws, regulations, control measures such as not having a licence for this or that (from dogs and TV to guns and driving licences) could be chased by a separate lot of bureaucrats who are not 'police'. Also other traffic violations.

I know it means that there are more people on the public payroll, but let's just let the police get on with the job of catching crooks.

You two are rude.

No; rude is me dropping my drawers and letting you and neverdie massage the danglies in public.

You two are rude.

No; rude is me dropping my drawers and letting you and neverdie massage the danglies in public.

You tease, neverdie will be hyper for a week..................

You two are rude.

Suiging - it's not the police I'm having a go at, it's the bureaucracy that requires them to take on many tasks other than hunting criminals.

The regular police should be tasked with catching the people who commit felonies against property or persons. Those who infringe on other laws, bylaws, regulations, control measures such as not having a licence for this or that (from dogs and TV to guns and driving licences) could be chased by a separate lot of bureaucrats who are not 'police'. Also other traffic violations.

I know it means that there are more people on the public payroll, but let's just let the police get on with the job of catching crooks.

just kidding, I agree with you.

sadly traffic policing has become another arm of revenue, which it should never be.

In addition, contrary to popular opinion, SPEED does not kill, poor driving does. A driver who keeps his distance, knows how to drive and obeys the rules of the road with regard to lights and double white lines, will not kill you if he does sixty on a clear road.

After last weeks election it feels a bit like "Waiting For Godot"

http://www.abc.net.au/news/video/2010/08/26/2994693.htm

The Aussies would be better off with Godot............

You two are rude.

No; rude is me dropping my drawers and letting you and neverdie massage the danglies in public.

You tease, neverdie will be hyper for a week..................

NURSE...... the screens!

And God Created New Zealand ...

God was missing for six days.

Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.

He inquired, "Where have you been?"

God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God and I've put life on it… I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor.

Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things.

God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to an island and said, "What's that one?"

"That's New Zealand, the most glorious place on earth.

There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from New Zealand are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things"

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance..."

God smiled, "Close to New Zealand is Australia. Wait till you see the idiots I put there. Especially in the capital, Canberra" LOVE IT......hehehe

Soultion to the hung parliament:

Dear Australian Labourites, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Gillard, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of Australia cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the labour judges and the CFMEU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, and the military. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel. You can keep the ABC left wingers and Kerry O'Brien. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all of them.

We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Woolworths and the Stock Exchange. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the budgie smuggling, bike riding, volunteer firemen and lifesavers greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you ABC and Bollywood .

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Penny Wong. You can also have the U.N. But we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep "Waltzing Matilda" and "The National Anthem." I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Bi Ya" or "We Are the World".

We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

P. S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.

Soultion to the hung parliament:

Dear Australian Labourites, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Gillard, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of Australia cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the labour judges and the CFMEU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, and the military. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel. You can keep the ABC left wingers and Kerry O'Brien. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all of them.

We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Woolworths and the Stock Exchange. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the budgie smuggling, bike riding, volunteer firemen and lifesavers greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you ABC and Bollywood .

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Penny Wong. You can also have the U.N. But we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep "Waltzing Matilda" and "The National Anthem." I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Bi Ya" or "We Are the World".

We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

P. S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.

Logical, I love it.