Bedlam's own unique version of "Dear Abby" has arrived.

Got a problem that just won't go away, relationship or family troubling you, financial uncertainty, social or cultural dilemma, a question on etiquete, good manners, fashion, decor, or simply want another opinion then ask Sibey.

If people truly do learn from their mistakes then I'm well qualified, no, overqualified to dispense advice.

Worried about confidentiality ? Be assured it's only between you, me and the rest of Bedlam.

Go ahead. What have you got to loose (apart from some dignity).

Disclaimer: answers posted after 11:00pm may be unintelligble to some forum members.

I am always loosing my dignity, due to my clothing being too lose, what can I do?

Moss

Answer 1:

You should spend more time in General and the local forums. Plenty of sob stories and trolls to get your teeth into there.

Or, if you prefer -

Answer 2:

It did strike me that you may be merely making an ironic observation of what's been going on in some of the threads in Bedlam (including the sand box), but I rejected that; our Chimpy would never be so brazen!

(Gawd, I hear Max Smart warming up again!)

Obligatory off topic observation:

Hmm. Bedlam seems to be getting quieter every day. HELLO inmates! WAKE UP!

Moss chipped in while I was scribing (above was addressing the OP).

By the way Moss, try some of the recipes in the other threads. Should fix your loose clothing problem in no time...

social or cultural dilemma, a question on etiquete,

Could you tell me of the requirements of Sin-Sot, there is very little information on the board as a whole, or should I post this in General where I might get a more enlightened view point?

Moss

Answer 1:

Plenty of sob stories and trolls to get your teeth into there.

Moss chipped in while I was scribing (above was addressing the OP).

And I thought you were alluding to me being a Troll again

Good Luck

Moss

That's why I added the note!

You don't want to hear my requests for advice. Might hurt your delicate sensibilities

I hate to be seen promoting another sub-forum but the Gay Forum on TV is full of "Dear Abbys". We're there to answer the questions you daren't ask your straight mates. At the moment we have a thread running on the vexed question of whether men ought to moisturise their tackle and, if so, with what?

Dear Sibey,

when i pour myself a glass of wine i enjoy sniffing the wine like a good cognac, holding the glass against the light and enjoy the wine's colour before i take the first sip. recently i realised that the wine has a blueish tint and a slightly strange taste when the Mrs. pours it for me. she advised me not to hold it against the light as this might derange the wine molecules which would affect the taste in a negative way.

should i therefore pop the Viagra pill on my own and enjoy my wine unadulterated? what is your advice?

I hate to be seen promoting another sub-forum but the Gay Forum on TV is full of "Dear Abbys". We're there to answer the questions you daren't ask your straight mates. At the moment we have a thread running on the vexed question of whether men ought to moisturise their tackle and, if so, with what?

that question does not exist for us straight ones as we use natural moisturiser provided free of charge. of course..., depending on the age of the moisturiser dispenser, some preparation work is required

judging from the initial response, yes, this does look like it's going to be fun.

I am always loosing my dignity, due to my clothing being too lose, what can I do?

Moss

Dear Mossfinn,

Consider joining a naturist community. No need to worry about your dignity, since nobody else is worrying about theirs. No tricky questions about fashion to worry about either, unless it's related to body art.

Sibey.

Answer 1:

You should spend more time in General and the local forums. Plenty of sob stories and trolls to get your teeth into there.

Or, if you prefer -

Answer 2:

It did strike me that you may be merely making an ironic observation of what's been going on in some of the threads in Bedlam (including the sand box), but I rejected that; our Chimpy would never be so brazen!

(Gawd, I hear Max Smart warming up again!)

Obligatory off topic observation:

Hmm. Bedlam seems to be getting quieter every day. HELLO inmates! WAKE UP!

Dear Ping,

I'd love to spend more time in the general and local forums. However, I feel the need to devote my time and effort to those unfortunate and desperate souls who have demonstrated a real need for help. Who knows, perhaps in the future with the right guidance and rehabilitation these poor outcasts of Bedlam will feel able to rejoin the general forum community. I can only hope so.

Secondly, you are correct that there are several threads in Bedlam which I've seen as a "cry for help" from lost souls, hence my unselfish offer to dispense advice.

Sibey.

social or cultural dilemma, a question on etiquete,

Could you tell me of the requirements of Sin-Sot, there is very little information on the board as a whole, or should I post this in General where I might get a more enlightened view point?

Moss

Dear Mossfinn,

Heaven forbid !! I can't possibly imagine you'd ever get a more enlightened viewpoint than here.

The law in Thailand forbids the payment of money for sex. Slavery is also against the law in Thailand so one expects that buying a slave is also against the law. Therefore, any prospective spouse and in-laws must be informed that the payment of Sin-Sot is strictly against the law in Thailand.

Your future family should be so happy that you have saved them from breaking the law and tarnishing the good reputation of their family in the eyes of their neighbours that they may offer you gifts of cars, houses, land or buffaloes. Of course, since you are only acting in the best interests of your future family you should politely decline such gifts and settle for a monthly allowance from them for the necessities of life in LOS (such as beer). Everyone saves face all round.

Sibey.

You don't want to hear my requests for advice. Might hurt your delicate sensibilities

Dear sbk,

No need to be shy.

Never mind about hurting my feelings....my "delicate sensibilities", as you so nicely put, were removed long ago.

Sibey.

Dear Sibey,

As an ex-porn star of some note, hoards of woman chase me every where I go demanding the same sort of service that made me famous.

Should I buy new Nike's or increase my medical insurance ?

Yours Tired

I hate to be seen promoting another sub-forum but the Gay Forum on TV is full of "Dear Abbys". We're there to answer the questions you daren't ask your straight mates. At the moment we have a thread running on the vexed question of whether men ought to moisturise their tackle and, if so, with what?

Dear endure,

it's so wonderful to hear that I am not alone in undertaking this monumental task. I'm so thankful there are others who also feel the angst and hurt, the cries for help, and actually are doing something about it. So many tormented souls, so little time. I wish them well.

As for men moisturising their tackle, in LOS it's hardly necessary due to the prevailing humidity but for the sake of reducing shaving rash and keeping things pleasant I'd recommend a good talcum powder. The more adventurous might even consider the extra stimulatory effect of a "prickly heat" powder to spice things up. Should moisturising become an issue while out and about, or simply feel the need to freshen up just drop in to one of the professional tackle care establishments scattered throughout most urban areas. They'll be glad you came and you'll be done in no time at all.

Sibey.

Dear Sibey,

when i pour myself a glass of wine i enjoy sniffing the wine like a good cognac, holding the glass against the light and enjoy the wine's colour before i take the first sip. recently i realised that the wine has a blueish tint and a slightly strange taste when the Mrs. pours it for me. she advised me not to hold it against the light as this might derange the wine molecules which would affect the taste in a negative way.

should i therefore pop the Viagra pill on my own and enjoy my wine unadulterated? what is your advice?

Dear Naam,

Your dear wife should not be discouraged from catering to your every whim if that's what makes her happy, as it would seem in this case. It would be a shame for you to set a precedent denying her such pleasures. She may start thinking you want to do more things for yourself and this could make her unhappy or feel insecure. Best avoided I'm sure you will agree.

Forgive my assumption but without more information I must assume you are enjoying your wine with or after your evening meal. May I suggest a pre-dinner cocktail which your wife can prepare in her usual manner. The ideal drink is Hpnotiq mixed as a martini with vodka and pineapple juice. Then you can enjoy your wine in all its natural slendour.

Sibey.

Dear Sibey,

As an ex-porn star of some note, hoards of woman chase me every where I go demanding the same sort of service that made me famous.

Should I buy new Nike's or increase my medical insurance ?

Yours Tired

Dear Suiging,

some of my best friends are former adult actors and they often tell me they have the same problem. I truly sympathise with your dilemma as it must be very tiring dealing with the ups and downs of these situations relentlessly every hour of every day.

Some of my friends became so depressed they resorted to extremes such as employing body doubles or even having gender reassignment surgery to solve the problem. Let's hope in your case things don't become so desperate.

As for a new pair of Nike's or increased medical insurance, well, you can run but you can't hide. Eventually our past catches up with all of us, just as those ladies pursuing you will, even with a new pair of Nikes. Like that poor young man in Russia who won the bet with two young ladies and then succumbed to the excitement, you never know what can happen.

I'd recommend the medical insurance. However, I'd check that there are generous allowances for prosthetics and implants first.

Sibey.

Dear Agony Aunt Sibey

You may find this hard to believe, but I know of this domesticated chimpanzee which has learned to use a keyboard. He's masquerading as a human being masquerading as a chimpanzee. Clever, isn't he? The problem is that he's found this Internet forum in a largish South East Asian country and is dispensing relationship advice to (mostly) real human beings! I tried reporting the matter to the forum's administrator, but he had me committed to an English asylum (which has been closed for many years).

And so to my question: Why do Thai motorcyclists never look before driving from a side street into a main road?

Yours sincerely

White Knuckles

E:T

Dear Sibey,

since several months my Mrs. claims that prices for products have gone up because of innflashion and that is the reason why she spends considerably more money. i tried to look up innflashion in Wicked Pedia but without any result. when i told the Mrs. that innflashion does not exist but belongs quite obviously into the category of rumours like "g-spot" and "female orgasm" she threatened to hit me with hard objects on the back of my skull.

how should i proceed? allocate more household money or wearing a steel helmet?

Dear Sibey,

since several months my Mrs. claims that prices for products have gone up because of innflashion and that is the reason why she spends considerably more money. i tried to look up innflashion in Wicked Pedia but without any result. when i told the Mrs. that innflashion does not exist but belongs quite obviously into the category of rumours like "g-spot" and "female orgasm" she threatened to hit me with hard objects on the back of my skull.

how should i proceed? allocate more household money or wearing a steel helmet?

Tell her to start hitting you on the front of the skull. You won't even notice!

Dear Sibey,

since several months my Mrs. claims that prices for products have gone up because of innflashion and that is the reason why she spends considerably more money. i tried to look up innflashion in Wicked Pedia but without any result. when i told the Mrs. that innflashion does not exist but belongs quite obviously into the category of rumours like "g-spot" and "female orgasm" she threatened to hit me with hard objects on the back of my skull.

how should i proceed? allocate more household money or wearing a steel helmet?

Tell her to start hitting you on the front of the skull. You won't even notice!

she tried that many years ago but realised soon it doesn't work it was all my mistake. i kept on grinning

Dear Sibey

If I shoot the bad men next door who have been jackhammering 12 hours a day for the past 3 days do you think any jury in Thailand would convict me?

I would have thought that, as the posting requirement for Bedlam is normally 500 posts on other fora, there is little hope left that any unfortunate enquiree will be capable of taking any advice offered.

After all, the basic advice given every time is << You don't understand the local culture - you obviously offended the locals and this has resulted in ........ >> (add your own phrase relevant to the original enquiry)

Dear Sibey

If I shoot the bad men next door who have been jackhammering 12 hours a day for the past 3 days do you think any jury in Thailand would convict me?

if they are Thais yes, if they are Farangs no

I have a dream. I dream of buying the land next door to the house of the man who is building this giant resort next door to our place. Building a 5 story building, tearing it down and rebuilding it. Oh, say 5 or 6 times. With plenty of jackhammers. Its a nice dream I think

Hire Ninjas or Chuck Norris.............no problems after those boys tell em where to stick their jackhammers.

What colour are the western ladies bikinis this year?

^A dark tan colour. (And the Thai ladies are wearing white.)