Here is the difference between men and women as I see it:

A woman stares at a man, and the man thinks, "She wants me!"

A man stares at a woman, and the woman wonders if she has a piece of lettuce stuck in her teeth or something.

Thank goodness times have changed!

Not really.

Guys still finish up paying in most cases.

That will never change.

Feminists too, will see to that.

What's the biggest difference between men and women?

What they mean, when they say: "I got through a whole box of tissues watching that film."

What's the biggest difference between men and women?

What they mean, when they say: "I got through a whole box of tissues watching that film."

In Thailand they mean a roll of toilet paper.

I liked the one that says "Girls are meter maids", but "girls are nurses" works ok for me too.

1.NAMES

If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

2.EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3.MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.

4.BATHROOMS

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.

A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

5.ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that... Is the beginning of a new argument.

6.CATS

Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

7.FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

8.SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

9.MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she

does.

10.DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage,

answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

11.NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

12.OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist

appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and

hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

13.THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two

people remembering the same thing.

Although I've seen it before, it's very good and nearly all true!

Women are like video games; they're lots of fun to play with, but it's all over once you beat them.

Women are like video games; they're lots of fun to play with, but it's all over once you beat them.

I once said to my first wife (a very long time ago) "I should have learned never to argue with a woman, you can't win"

And she replied "no, never argue with a woman you can't have"