I took the dog for a walk this morning and when I attempted to take a short cut through a back laneway he stopped dead and stared me down. The alternative to going the long way round was dragging him or carrying him and the village Thais already think I'm tingtong.

Last night I said to the Mrs that I might go to Vientiane with some friends after the new year.

She replied "Why do you want to go to Lao?".

This may sound like a reasonable question in English to any unmarried expats but is actually Thai for "over my dead body".

She then added that I had been there two years ago and all I did was complain about my bad back from all the traveling when I got home.

I digress though. Surely I can come to this country with reasonable expectations of assuming a dominant family role.

I'm just lucky I haven't got any kids or they would be telling me what to do as well.

akways trust the dog, especially in back lanes that you may not know

a couple of years ago, I adopted a street dog in Guatemala. She was one tough little runt, and saved me from getting, mauled/mugged/other, on multiple occasions, by either refusing to go down certain paths, or in one instance, creating a diversion for me, distracting the would be attackers, while I went on my merry way.

Absolute gem, was my Scruff.

As for other things, well, the wife's always right. Even when she's not.

Next time, plan your "suggestion" of a trip to Laos with some mates differently.

It's all in the way you sell the idea.

Man up for <deleted>'s sake.

Man up for <deleted>'s sake.

I'm working on it, but may have left things a bit late.

There's nothing wrong with undeserved respect anyway.

When some things seem negative, try to view them from a positive angle.

As Kayo says, maybe your doggie knows something you dont. Maybe hes even thinking about your health benefits of taking the long route round. But, as for asserting who is boss with him, you can introduce some doggy behavioral methods. There are lots, and im no expert, have a bit of a google. Its never too late.

As for the wifey, hmm...i think ill leave that one for others because im not sure what to say!

--

As to where i rank in the family pecking order, well, at this point i dont really have family per say, so the pecking order isnt really in place for me. However, if im feeling neglected or unconsidered, of course i dont like it. At times like that, if subtle hints dont work, and a few more direct comments dont work, then i go for reverse psychology. Things that i usually do for the other half will go undone and i focus on doing things for myself. I'll be blase' because i have made the mental decision to not let things get under my skin, and shift focus to myself. Once the other half realises that im not quite as sharing and caring, I think the "oh bugger" light bulb comes on and things improve again.

Man up for <deleted>'s sake.

I'm working on it, but may have left things a bit late.

There's nothing wrong with undeserved respect anyway.

I think he meant to say "Harden the fuc_k up"

I'm the boss of my family because I'm just about the only one left.

Things will probably change when I move to LOS next year.

After the kids, maids, the "Pooden", The King, the contractor that's currently destroying my house, etc. I've been thinking about a trip to Vietnam. The wife says wait till the construction is done and she'll come along. She misses the point...

You want me to get him to roll on his back while I sniff his willy? Isn't that how dogs show dominance?

Seriously, I'm not going to get mugged in the village, and yes, he's thinking about my health... it's got nothing to do with the lady dogs that live down that way he likes to keep an eye on in case they come into an interesting condition.

I'll talk wifey into Lao, she won't go... she hates the place and all it's citizens, but the friends are a couple and she knows and likes the female half. She'll just tell her not to let me wander off and get into trouble.

Maybe there was a snake in the alley scead and your dog was saving your life?

As for the wife, well, sorry. Can't help you there either, my husband goes fishing daily whether we've got other stuff to do or not, so clearly i am not the boss in my family, the fish are!

You've mentioned hubby's interest in fishing on number of occasions SBK, is he a pro? (as in fishing), or an enthusiastic amateur (once more as in fishing)?

Um. Fanatic? Obsessive?

He loves to fish

He fishes most every day, weather permitting. A whiz at local knowledge, probably knows currents, conditions, feeding etc better than anyone around.

Catches some doozies too.

Interesting catch from your husband sbk. Do you eat them?

The top fish looks like a Giant Herring (aka Wolf fish). Great fighting qualities, but considered almost inedible because of the bones in it.

The baby sailfish should be smoked.

Yeah, every picture tells a story. A light game fisherman, check out the rods and minnow lures. They do tend to be a bit single minded.

Looks like a barracuda to me OC, also nice smoked.

I have mentioned before who is Boss in my house, Lions on Tour of South Africa and she chooses X Factor, it's almost a criminal offence!!

South Africa (coincidentally) v the ba%$"rd Frog eating, garlic munchers and again X Factor or some other drivel.

After that is Jude, then Sadie and Leo the Chihuahua's and I'm somewhere off the radar

Scea, what if YOU lay down on your back and got your wife to sniff your....

Oh, nevermind!

Maybe there was a snake in the alley scead and your dog was saving your life?

As for the wife, well, sorry. Can't help you there either, my husband goes fishing daily whether we've got other stuff to do or not, so clearly i am not the boss in my family, the fish are!

I admire the guy. At least he's put life into proper perspective...

He and I would get along famously.

well....at least when the entire household runs off on some excursion organised by the wife there is always someone left behind to look after me; run to tescos to get vodka, naam som an' ice, etc...today it's the MiL who also cooks me stuff that I like to eat then we lay around, drink an' watch TV; today everybody else is off to the next district in the minivan to watch sum nephews play inna football tournament...

I say...but darling, we have things to discuss and jobs to do...the discussions eventually happen and the jobs are completed, to her schedule...just gotta be patient...

I ain't complainin'...she's the boss around here an' there's lots of people in the household...I really wouldn't have it any other way...couldn't do, even if I wanted...

Where do I rank in the family pecking order ? That's easy.

First when it comes to bringing in the money.

Last when it comes to the money going out.

Yeah, every picture tells a story. A light game fisherman, check out the rods and minnow lures. They do tend to be a bit single minded.

Looks like a barracuda to me OC, also nice smoked.

indeed, a barracuda. It is barracuda season, right now. Which means trolling at night and very early morning. DH has a stack of fishing rods and reels, and a whole shelf dedicated to his fishing stuff. I figure if he is happy with the fishing, then who cares what the cost is? (oh and its really easy to buy him a birthday present )

Where do I rank in the family pecking order ? That's easy.

First when it comes to bringing in the money.

Last when it comes to the money going out.

Yeah - it gets to the point where you have to hide your own money from your other half!

Something I never need to worry about. Worked out early in the piece she's better with money than me and just hand over the income when it comes in.

Going into town with the neighbor tonight for a few sodawaters, she'll follow me out the door trying to give me about ten times as much money as I'll need.

Um. Fanatic? Obsessive?

He loves to fish

He fishes most every day, weather permitting. A whiz at local knowledge, probably knows currents, conditions, feeding etc better than anyone around.

Catches some doozies too.

A barracuda and a small sail-fish.

As for pecking order....which implies dominance, and is different to equality issues.....

I have to say that I am not a believer in gender equality.

Before the ladies and the PC men jump on me...... let me explain.

Gender equality is ridiculous. Men ARE different to women.

The spirit of the gender equality movement was good. The suffragettes chaining themselves to Parliament, the bra-burners of the 70's etc were on the right track, but they chose the wrong key word.

Equivalency, not equality, is what the women's libbers should have been aiming for, and if they had, they may actually have made inroads sooner and with greater acceptance.

I am a promoter of sexual equivalency....as such, my natural dominance does take a backseat sometimes in my relationship. We are not equals, but we are equivalents. I dominate in some arenas and she dominates in others.

It works for us and it's good because I believe in equavalency yet as an alpha, I still have my specific domains, and as a strong woman herself, she still gets to rule in other areas.

You seem to equate equality with sameness. I equate equality with equal rights under the law.

But, no worries. In our house, there is no boss. We discuss, we talk it over and big decisions are made by mutual agreement. Sometimes his opinion is the one that gets picked sometimes mine but we always give each other equal opportunity to present those opinions and equal value is placed on those opinions. My husband was not interested in a "yes dear" wife, and he did not get one

(unless, of course, it comes down to fishing, and then the fish always win )

We discuss, we talk it over and big decisions are made by mutual agreement. Sometimes his opinion is the one that gets picked sometimes mine but we always give each other equal opportunity to present those opinions and equal value is places on them opinions.

Doesn't work that way in my household. If you want to do something, and you know someone in the family will say no, you just go and do it anyway & pick up the pieces after the shit has hit the fan.

Something I never need to worry about. Worked out early in the piece she's better with money than me and just hand over the income when it comes in.

Going into town with the neighbor tonight for a few sodawaters, she'll follow me out the door trying to give me about ten times as much money as I'll need.

Yeah I do the same. Keep just a little bit for those un-expected nights out, otherwise the GF gets all my income these days.

We discuss, we talk it over and big decisions are made by mutual agreement. Sometimes his opinion is the one that gets picked sometimes mine but we always give each other equal opportunity to present those opinions and equal value is places on them opinions.

Doesn't work that way in my household. If you want to do something, and you know someone in the family will say no, you just go and do it anyway & pick up the pieces after the shit has hit the fan.

hear hear!