Our maid is a real poster girl for Thailand, attractive, hardworking and never stops smiling.

One of her duties is helping me bath the dog; the Mrs is a bit too impatient with him to take part in this chore but Wai and I handle it efficiently.

The problem apparently started when I decided we would use a large bucket as I could adjust the temperature with a few dippers of hot water. It comes straight out of the dam in the mountains and can be a bit chilly this time of the year.

After I'd dried him off and took him for a walk in the sun she let the Mrs have it.

Basically this is what she said.

When I come back in the next life I want to be Loong sceadugenga's dog. He gets warm water to bath in, his food is hand cooked for him and he just eats, sleeps and plays all day. He gets more consideration in a day than I've had in a lifetime, AND (this apparently was the straw that broke the camel's back), he's even got a better #Thai expletive deleted# towel than me!

Women can be strange eh?

Good on her!! Telling it straight!

And here I was thinking, "dam_n she's not even his wife!"

Hm.. yes.. well I'm afraid it just helps to confirm the increasing feeling that LOS is no longer LOS, but in fact LOFS - Land of False Smiles.

If you speak passable Thai, like me, you would have realised this a long time ago. The odd thing is that often when Thais find out I speak Thai quite well, they start to talk to me as if I were a Thai and tell me all this shit about how they are pissed off with their lives, their jobs and how they hate most farangs. (Present company excepted of course, with an engaging, False smile. )

Hm.. yes.. well I'm afraid it just helps to confirm the increasing feeling that LOS is no longer LOS, but in fact LOFS - Land of False Smiles.

If you speak passable Thai, like me, you would have realised this a long time ago. The odd thing is that often when Thais find out I speak Thai quite well, they start to talk to me as if I were a Thai and tell me all this shit about how they are pissed off with their lives, their jobs and how they hate most farangs. (Present company excepted of course, with an engaging, False smile. )

Do you think I should start paying her more than 60 bucks a month?

Maybe she's got one of those personalities that simmers over small things and finally one last straw added to the fire (to mix metaphores) makes the pot boil over.

I'm a bit like that .

Or she just had a bad day, mixed with hormonal mood.

If she is so hard-working and such a good maid...... Do something that is nice but unneccessary every once in a while....small gestures are like taking fuel out of the fire and the simmering stops and becomes tepid.

sceadugenga...thou monster...

I ain't got no maid; just nieces to do the dirty work so they can't complain. Just today I saw my favorite niece retrieving papaya from the waste ground behind our house; barefoot in shorts and t-shirt, wading around in the same stagnant water where earlier (from my kitchen window) I had seen a couple of monitor lizards (filthy creatures) looking for food...

I was fascinated...

seems like it might put something into perspective then. If you don't want to increase her salary then maybe buy her a couple of nice towels & then every now & then a small token of your appreciation. The odd small practical gift might to you seem trivial but clearly to her would be something of significance.

Might be finally time to put a mattress on the floor and an electric light bulb in the maid's room.

Hmm...

Some members seem to have taken me a little more seriously than I intended.

I suspect Wai feels life has passed her by, she's related to my wife by marriage and and my wife handles all domestic life. I give her the housekeeping money and she organises and pays for all the extra help she needs.

She works about three hours a day except on washing days but she uses our machine to do her own washing at the same time.

Her husband earns good money by local standards but he has a mia noi and another family he goes to little effort to conceal. Her daughter has fallen into the same trap, married at 15 and left school, now her life, while still a teenager, revolves around a baby and a husband who is idle at best.

Wai came to terms with "dog as family member" very quickly, she never complains about him and plays with him regularly.

She extremely popular with my visitors who tip her well when they leave and a couple bring her gifts regularly.

Mobi seems to be at the "disillusioned" stage of living in Thailand. Many Thais are happy with their lives and carry no resentment towards foreigners. He assumes I don't speak Thai and have no idea what is going on around me.

I come from a country where I hear racist abuse and constant complaints about the breakdown of society, I don't think this is just a Thai thing.

I treat everybody as an individual, I never start a statement with words like "All Thais.... " or "Every Thai man..." because it wouldn't be true, I have many friends and acquaintances here and they're all different. BUT... some are definitely more different than others.

Let her use the dogs towel.

He's quite possessive of his stuff.

Wai's two year old grand daughter came down the other day and picked up his ball. He waited for her to throw it but she sat down and started playing with it herself.

He gently but firmly took it off her and put it under the stairs where he hides his dog biscuits he's not ready to eat.

Leave the dog to do the cleaning and take the maid for the odd walk or two. Problem solved.

You let the maids daughter play with your dogs balls?

A warm water bath? Eeeeee lad we used t' dream of a warm water bath.

And a towel? We had to stand in't front of t' fire until me da were ready for 'is bath then it was off to bed wet or dry didn't matter.

Dogs these days just don't appreciate 'ow things were.

Ain't nothin' but a hound dog. Aaaahhhhhooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

So the youngest got first bath in your family as well?

Yup, when the water was still clean.

A warm water bath? Eeeeee lad we used t' dream of a warm water bath.

And a towel? We had to stand in't front of t' fire until me da were ready for 'is bath then it was off to bed wet or dry didn't matter.

Dogs these days just don't appreciate 'ow things were.

Ain't nothin' but a hound dog. Aaaahhhhhooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

\

You had a fire? lucky dog

Ok, whoever starts the "I walked ten miles to school in three feet of snow wearing shoes made out of cardboard" is going to get it!

Yup, when the water was still clean.

And that was every Saturaday night......or every 2nd Saturday night?

Ok, whoever starts the "I walked ten miles to school in three feet of snow wearing shoes made out of cardboard" is going to get it!

Cardboard shoes!!!! I would have been so lucky.

Thats nothing ,we had to crawl 11 miles trough 4 feet of mud wearing boots made of shoppingbags

Thats nothing ,we had to crawl 11 miles trough 3 feet of mud wearing boots made of shoppingbags

Shopping bag boots!! I would have been so lucky!

A warm water bath? Eeeeee lad we used t' dream of a warm water bath. And a towel? We had to stand in't front of t' fire until me da were ready for 'is bath then it was off to bed wet or dry didn't matter.

Dogs these days just don't appreciate 'ow things were. Ain't nothin' but a hound dog. Aaaahhhhhooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

and we walked everyday barefoot through the snow three miles to school

Ok, whoever starts the "I walked ten miles to school in three feet of snow wearing shoes made out of cardboard" is going to get it!

one should not read thread backward as i just did.

I'd love to add that I came from an upper middle class background where we lacked nothing. But that would be a lie!!! There were 13 of us in a 2 bedroom house and while life was tough, we were really happy. I have so many happy memories that the bad times pale into insignificance!

I'd love to add that I came from an upper middle class background where we lacked nothing. But that would be a lie!!! There were 13 of us in a 2 bedroom house and while life was tough, we were really happy. I have so many happy memories that the bad times pale into insignificance!

Everyone was being realistic...then someone had to come along and spoil it with gross exageration!

I lived in t'shoebox as a lad, and had Jacob's Cream Crackers to eat once a month if we wus lucky. Thank God for war. Them Boers did my Dad a favour. After he packed Mam off to fight ( Her mustache always better than his ) we was able to rent her side of the bed out to a passing circus troop. The noise from the elephants was a problem ( and the shit, well let's not even go there !! ), but the extra tuppence a week came in handy to buy a piece of coal which we could all suck on when it got cold.

Hard times

Is the dog any good at cunnilingus?

Is the dog any good at cunnilingus?

I think you've mixed up your animal attributes.

Foxes are cunning.

Dogs are man's best friend.