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Shit, i don't know how to embed and my control c control v is not beeping at me...

I shall go and find how to do it - can't be that difficult.

[youtube]insert youtube id here[/youtube]

That's how ya do it patsy.

Thats probably because you are an old Scrooge yourself moonrakers

From an old bag to an old scrooge

I found this one

No I didn't.

CLASSIC Female Post

Did you or did you not find it patsycat?

Thats probably because you are an old Scrooge yourself moonrakers

From an old bag to an old scrooge

speak for yourself old man, I have it on good authority (yours in fact) that I am younger than you. So that makes me about the age of Noah and you the age Methusaleh

I found this one

No I didn't.

CLASSIC Female Post

Did you or did you not find it patsycat?

I'm working on it... Give me time.

I found this one

No I didn't.

CLASSIC Female Post

Did you or did you not find it patsycat?

I'm working on it... Give me time.

LoL you gotta love that!

Thats probably because you are an old Scrooge yourself moonrakers

From an old bag to an old scrooge

speak for yourself old man, I have it on good authority (yours in fact) that I am younger than you. So that makes me about the age of Noah and you the age Methusaleh

Can we break out the birth certificates, ole gurl .....because im remembering that you were older than me & your hyper sensitive about it........starting to notice the wrinkles,no doubt. (Dont worry, uncle neverdie still loves ya) granny.

I found this one

No I didn't.

CLASSIC Female Post

Did you or did you not find it patsycat?

I'm working on it... Give me time.

Sorry, I forgot ur probably old and crusty like sbk .....everything in good time

thanks for that.

It's about time somebody caught him.

Christmas songs should be like this every year.

The sex pistols next year then anybody?

Well the RATM vs X Factor winner thing seems to have everybody fired up. I haven't heard John McEddery's song but don't think I need to as I've heard past products from the plastic music production line. It's good to see a little anarchy wiping the smile off Simon "I'm so smug" Cowell's face even though I'm not that keen on the number.

I found this one

No I didn't.

CLASSIC Female Post

Did you or did you not find it patsycat?

I'm working on it... Give me time.

Sorry, I forgot ur probably old and crusty like sbk .....everything in good time

Having a CRAFT moment - Cant Remember A fuc_king Thing - as I said gimmee time and by the way I think the sbk and moi are around the same age-ish - but i am sure she is much more beautiful.

I think I will not....or I'm thinking about not, wrapping the presents this year.

If you think about it, it's silly....except for the suprise factor that lasts a fraction of a second, the wrapping takes time, the unwrapping is a rip tear event and the paper ends up in the garbage, and it will help save trees.

Christmas stockings should be utilised as much as possible, and how about a Christmas sack or pillow case for larger items.

What do you other bah humbuggers think?

I've been trying to avoid present buying for years, but the Mrs always gets in first with something for me.

This year she couldn't surprise me as it was clothes and she wanted me to try them on so she could return them if they didn't fit. (My body shape has changed dramatically this year).

So off to Big C I traipsed... what to buy, what to buy. I mean what more could a woman want who already has sceadugenga?

Finally I unimaginatively settled on a couple of boxes of imported choccies.

As I came out of the super market... wonder of wonders, a group of enterprising young Thai ladies had set up a pressie wrapping stall in the mall.

So handed over the chocs and said, "one parcel will do, wrap them together please".

If I'd suggested an extended session of group sex on the counter their expressions would have been little different. It was purely... "we think we heard what you said but we must have got it wrong... There's no way you could possibly mean that".

So, to cut a long story short the boxes were wrapped separately BUT.

They compromised and tied them together with one ribbon.

Funny

One year I decided to have a Marxist/Leninist Christmas and wrapped the presents in old newspapers.

Didn't go down too well.

I have often suggested recycling Xmas cards. What everybody should do is give the cards back to the people who gave them to you. Next year they just pass them back again. Preserves the human touch of an actual real time Xmas card but gets round the cr@p of buying and writing the things out each year.

how can anyone not like Elvis' Blue Christmas?...with previous western GFs/partners I'd do my impersonation at the right moment and I'd always get laid as a reward...

daa gloomp went the little green frog last night, daa gloomp went the little green frog.

daa gloomp went the little green frog last night, daa gloomp went the little green frog.

Kermit? Kermit is that you baby?

It's me, Animal.

how can anyone not like Elvis' Blue Christmas?...with previous western GFs/partners I'd do my impersonation at the right moment and I'd always get laid as a reward...

And remember Toots,

exactly two weeks after Christmas - 8th January - it will be Elvis' 75th birthday.

So I usually postpone my celebrations until twelth night is over.

daa gloomp went the little green frog last night, daa gloomp went the little green frog.

Kermit? Kermit is that you baby?

It's me, Animal.

I'm sure your the only one madder than me on this forum

Animal actually left the muppets in 1998, he was replaced in the band by a puppet and a drum machine, and after a shave and a haircut ran for Congress on the Republican ticket.

He achieved brief fame after biting Senator Lisa Murkowski in a party room policy dispute and now hosts a late night talk show in Wyoming.

Animal actually left the muppets in 1998, he was replaced in the band by a puppet and a drum machine, and after a shave and a haircut ran for Congress on the Republican ticket.

He achieved brief fame after biting Senator Lisa Murkowski in a party room policy dispute and now hosts a late night talk show in Wyoming.

Phew, thats alright then, I was getting worried

Why Oming is where all the pot heads go in India to ask themselves if they really should be Buddhists

My dear friends and colleagues,

During the forthcoming Christmas celebrations, those of us in our various Churches will be required to implement health and safety regulations whilst performing or participating in Christmas carols. Please adhere to the following guidelines at risk of contravening the Glory From on High (Statutory Instruments) Regulations, 2009. (As amended.) Contraventions, after due process in the courts, can result in fines, imprisonment or Glory being withdrawn from your communities!!

Despite all this, do have a very Merry Christmas!

Very best wishes,

Jingle Bells

Dashing through the snow

In a one horse open sleigh

O'er the fields we go

Laughing all the way

A risk assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is considered safe for members of the public to travel on. The risk assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly if passengers are of larger proportions. Please note, permission must be gained from landowners before entering their fields. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.

While Shepherds Watched

While shepherds watched

Their flocks by night

All seated on the ground

The angel of the Lord came down

And glory shone around

The union of Shepherd's has complained that it breaches health and safety regulations to insist that shepherds watch their flocks without appropriate seating arrangements being provided, therefore benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available. Shepherds have also requested that due to the inclement weather conditions at this time of year that they should watch their flocks via cctv cameras from centrally heated shepherd observation huts.

Please note, the angel of the lord is reminded that before shining his / her glory all around she / he must ascertain that all shepherds have been issued with glasses capable of filtering out the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and Glory.

Little Donkey

Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road

Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load

The RSPCA have issued strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a load that a donkey of small stature is permitted to carry, also included in the guidelines is guidance regarding how often to feed the donkey and how many rest breaks are required over a four hour plodding period. Please note that due to the increased risk of pollution from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are required to wear face masks to prevent inhalation of any airborne particles. The donkey has expressed his discomfort at being labelled 'little' and would prefer just to be simply referred to as Mr. Donkey. To comment upon his height or lack thereof may be considered an infringement of his equine rights.

Blasphemer...

daa gloomp went the little green frog last night, daa gloomp went the little green frog.

Kermit? Kermit is that you baby?

It's me, Animal.

I'm sure your the only one madder than me on this forum

its quite an attractive trait tbh.