Me, I don't have a judgemental bone in my body, and I'm probably too forgiving of other's limitations.

do you really believe this or is what you write on this forum complete fabrication then?

If you can point out where I've ever been judgemental then I'd like to see it. It is more than I can for a lot of people on this forum. I'm always willing to see other points of view and discuss them. Just because you personally don't like my life style doesn't make me the bad guy. I can stand behind everything I say on any forum I frequent and have lots of examples to back up anything I say.

Ian, I like you, you're ok. There is a part of me that aspires to have your lifestyle one day when I can afford it.....so take what I say in the spirit of how I say it; Constructive critisism

It's not just in this thread, in several other threads too, you keep on making the point and emphasising your lifestyle.

You're very defensive about it, and at the same time provactive by constantly telling everyone about it, albeit minus most of the tawdry details....Thank heavens.

You know not alot of people actualise what you do. So in a way, you are flaunting.

I wonder why you do that?

I reckon that some people don't disapprove of your lifestyle as much as they resent your always pushing it in their face.

Ian, I like you, you're ok. There is a part of me that aspires to have your lifestyle one day when I can afford it.....so take what I say in the spirit of how I say it; Constructive critisism

It's not just in this thread, in several other threads too, you keep on making the point and emphasising your lifestyle.

You're very defensive about it, and at the same time provactive by constantly telling everyone about it, albeit minus most of the tawdry details....Thank heavens.

You know not alot of people actualise what you do. So in a way, you are flaunting.

I wonder why you do that?

I reckon that some people don't disapprove of your lifestyle as much as they resent your always pushing it in their face.

You are right, of course, but I do it to stimulate a vibrant conversation. I have always enjoyed debating subjects, and the more controversial the better. And, I'm quite willing to play the "fall guy" or stand on the other side of the ledger from what I might truly believe. We had a debating team at university and it was a lot of fun. The idea for a debate was usually decided where teams had to stand for something they didn't beleve themselves. It made for a lot of research just to get their point across to the jury. Court lawyers have to do it all the time when defending clients they might know (or suspect) are guilty.

And, Boo is correct that I AM judgemental... everyone is. You have to be judgemental just to survive. What I'm NOT judgemental about is how others choose to live their lives... unless of course it physically or mentally harms another human being or animal.

A topic dies a quick death if everyone agrees with each other. And, without controversial topics a forum soon dries up and everyone goes home.

Well Eek, my wife is 17 years younger than me. Somehow I feel like the exploited one.

Mine is 14 years younger.

I did a poll about this in 2008.

The average age difference was 16,45 years.

So, how does it fell to be "Average James"

I moved here at age 38.

Ian, do you wish you had moved sooner?

Just to add to the mix - my girlfriend is 50 1/2 years younger than me, and we have a year-old baby daughter.

(I also have a nearing-40 year-old daughter, who adores our new addition, her half-sister.)

Just to add to the mix - my girlfriend is 50 1/2 years younger than me, and we have a year-old baby daughter.

(I also have a nearing-40 year-old daughter, who adores our new addition, her half-sister.)

Congrats big time... My wife is 16 years younger....no kids so far....

If you can point out where I've ever been judgemental then I'd like to see it. It is more than I can for a lot of people on this forum. I'm always willing to see other points of view and discuss them. Just because you personally don't like my life style doesn't make me the bad guy. I can stand behind everything I say on any forum I frequent and have lots of examples to back up anything I say.

The topic itself is a judgment on those people whom YOU consider to be "Narrow Minded, Self Righteous, Prudish Hypocrites"

That is you being judgmental, you then make judgment on men who you claim to be "pussy whipped" and on various threads I have seen you be judgmental towards non thai women in various senarios too. Maybe you don't' consider it to be judgmental-ism cause you aren't commenting on their lifestyle but you are passing judgment on those people none the less.

My point is, everyone is judgmental including you & if you think you aren't then maybe you have chosen to be oblivious to your own hypocrisy.

And I never made comment on your lifestyle, only on your claims to be non judgmental. It is my opinion that you are very judgmental. But like with everything, your examples will only be your own experiences & opinions which doesn't make you right.

I have met Ian in person and he may be judgemental - but no more than anyone else. He also is an unusually happy, kind and concerned human being. We could use a lot more like him!

He may be but when you start a thread that claims that other people are narrow minded, self righteous, hypocrites etc whilst guilty of being that way too but claiming to not to then you have to be able to accept other peoples perspective on it.

Should I bash him around a little bit then?

If you can point out where I've ever been judgemental then I'd like to see it.

And, Boo is correct that I AM judgemental... everyone is.

If you can point out where I've ever been judgemental then I'd like to see it.

And, Boo is correct that I AM judgemental... everyone is.

I just wanted Boo to give some examples and she did so. If I had a photo of a big pot with me stirring it then I'd post it.

This is what I'm good at.... That's a "troller", by the way.

Ian, trust me, you are a novice!

Ian, if you wish to debate, outside the box can be sometimes of use, it can get a little fractious, but is generally tame, it is a venue that you could practise your skills, I am not sure you get in there much, as I don't have the time myself nowadays.

However, Trolling is something entirely different, it can be very bad and when it is, it is shot out of the sky fairly quickly.

It can be quite skilful and generally informative, with a frank exchange of views, which adds to a forum, rather than detracting from it, or of course it can be offered up as an excuse when caught in the headlamps of the hunters in the mould of the legendary Artemis and the aim of these snipers rarely miss.

Ian, if you wish to debate, outside the box can be sometimes of use, it can get a little fractious, but is generally tame, it is a venue that you could practise your skills, I am not sure you get in there much, as I don't have the time myself nowadays.

However, Trolling is something entirely different, it can be very bad and when it is, it is shot out of the sky fairly quickly.

It can be quite skilful and generally informative, with a frank exchange of views, which adds to a forum, rather than detracting from it, or of course it can be offered up as an excuse when caught in the headlamps of the hunters in the mould of the legendary Artemis and the aim of these snipers rarely miss.

It all depends on what the troll is about and how it is worded. That is why I would rather be in bedlam than General topics. A lot more is allowed here.

Most of the time I have my tongue firmly wedged in the corner of my mouth when I post something, and I leave obvious openings for others to target. I've never posted anything nasty or vile, nor will I ever flame someone. Very often it's just my friendly way of discussing interesting topics. The "war between the sexes" has been going on since time began... and will continue to do so. I like nothing better than an intellegent, strong woman who can hold her own in a debate.

I was only half kidding when I called North American men "pussy whipped". By my definition I was pussy whipped when I was married, my son is pussy whipped, my daughter's husband is pussy whipped and just about every married guy I know is pussy whipped. We just have to go along with what the little lady decides or there WILL be trouble.

I've looked inside "outside the box" a few times, but none of the topics at that time interested me. I'll have to look there more often. Thanks for the suggestion.

From Ian, "....... I like nothing better than an intellegent, strong woman who can hold her own in a debate..."

I am with you there. It's the biggest turn on.

Also, "By my definition I was pussy whipped when I was married, my son is pussy whipped, my daughter's husband is pussy whipped and just about every married guy I know is pussy whipped. We just have to go along with what the little lady decides or there WILL be trouble...."

Being closely tied to Polynesian families (patriarchal societies), I can't say that all married guys I know are pussy-whipped, however, I do know where Ian is comong from.

I see it as a case where the pendulum of balance has swung back past equilibrium after the rightfull recognition of women's rights. (cf suffragettes and onwards)

Here's a debate topic for you Ian: Gender equality: What is it's basis and validity?

From Ian, "....... I like nothing better than an intellegent, strong woman who can hold her own in a debate..."

I am with you there. It's the biggest turn on.

Also, "By my definition I was pussy whipped when I was married, my son is pussy whipped, my daughter's husband is pussy whipped and just about every married guy I know is pussy whipped. We just have to go along with what the little lady decides or there WILL be trouble...."

Being closely tied to Polynesian families (patriarchal societies), I can't say that all married guys I know are pussy-whipped, however, I do know where Ian is comong from.

I see it as a case where the pendulum of balance has swung back past equilibrium after the rightfull recognition of women's rights. (cf suffragettes and onwards)

Here's a debate topic for you Ian: Gender equality: What is it's basis and validity?

I don't know that I'd bother given this answer:

That is fair enough, but if I just want someone intelectual to share my time with then I'll pick another man. We have FAR more in common. However, if it is sex that I want then I'll pick someone young and attractive who actually DOES enjoy sex... and not someone who says "What? Not again! We did that a month ago!"

Now, if you have invested all your life time savings in this one marriage venture and it fails, then the person who invested the most (usually the man) gets taken to the cleaners.

From Ian, "....... I like nothing better than an intellegent, strong woman who can hold her own in a debate..."

[snip]

Here's a debate topic for you Ian: Gender equality: What is it's basis and validity?

my response is more to Ian's comment highlighted, but perhaps it will also be a starting point to Harcourt's question of gender equality?

me, Im a simple girl. I dont demand equal pay based on my gender, I dont demand equal opportunities based on my gender, I dont demand special treatment based on my gender. all I ask for is equal respect.

and now my reply to Ian's remark of the person who invested the most:

I have nothing to say re the topic

but I do have something to say re a comment Ian made in the above post.

suggesting that men invest more in relationships is at the very least misinformed, in my opinion. I think its a callous remark, and can only hope you dont really believe that. Im not often this blunt, but any hint of such misogynist views will bring that out in me.

You may be talking about financial investment, and while it may be true that men tend to have and bring more financial assets into a relationship, there are other factors that form part of the relationship. Women contribute equally and, often, more to some of those other factors - things such as emotional involvement, looking after the home, cooking, cleaning, raising kids, taking care of aged and sick relatives, and of course taking care of the male partner (when they are sick, ill, aged, drunk etc etc)

However, if finances is what you want to isolate, then put it this way:

try to put a cost to each of the above services if a man had to hire somebody to provide those services (at the hours and day of week etc that your female partner do) - and see how much that would add up after 20 years. dont forget to factor in inflation to reflect the cost in today's value.

and not to forget how many career women give up their careers to dedicate time to these family duties. I believe the financial term we need here would be opportunity cost

I dont really care about how much a woman gets or doesnt get when a marriage ends. The point of me sharing my opinion here is not to justify payments/splits of assets or whatever else, but it is simply to refute your claim that men invest more in relationships.

careful miggie, keep this up and we will have to make you the honorary token Asian member of the fat feminazi bitch coven

I doubt it will be heard miggy but very well said & very true. A full time housekeeper, a full time nanny, a full time cook & a full time sex partner would cost a hel_l of a lot more than what most "traditional" men provide to their wives/gf's for services rendered & yet claim to be the one contributing more financially & scream how hard done by when, if the relationship break down, the woman is awarded what is usually her fair share. Quite small minded & hypocritical really

Any cost breakdowns for emotional distress created by excessive weight gain, hormonal mood swings and unrelenting nagging? Not that I have ever experienced such from my lovely hormonally balanced wife. I have heard stories, however. (Stir…stir)

I wasn't p-whipped. Maybe my macho Mexican son-in-law is, after staying home raising the kids all these years, but he enjoys talking to a smart, professional wife, and he has his BA now.

I wasn't p-whipped.

Of course not, you were dreaming of hot Asian studs with overly large sex organs. Only whimpy heteros such as myself get pussywhipped!

I will try not to name names here, but I've had as many 'intellectual conversations' with women as with men. My macho Mexican son-in-law might be, after 25 years of staying home and raising the kids.

Women don't do violence, as often. They usually let their boys to grow up violent.

Any cost breakdowns for emotional distress created by excessive weight gain, hormonal mood swings and unrelenting nagging? Not that I have ever experienced such from my lovely hormonally balanced wife. I have heard stories, however. (Stir…stir)

probably the same or less than the fat, lazy, beer drinking, sports addicted husband costs.

I usually shush most of the Puritans by pointing out how many of them, their spouses, siblings, sisters, etc. would be branded as adulterers 100 years ago.

I doubt it will be heard miggy but very well said & very true. A full time housekeeper, a full time nanny, a full time cook & a full time sex partner would cost a hel_l of a lot more than what most "traditional" men provide to their wives/gf's for services rendered & yet claim to be the one contributing more financially & scream how hard done by when, if the relationship break down, the woman is awarded what is usually her fair share. Quite small minded & hypocritical really

So women do each of these tasks for 40 hours each week? i.e. full time for each different job?

Being multi skilled doesn't mean you should be paid a full weeks wage for every skill.

Having said that, I will state that I cannot abide unequal pay for equal work whatever the gender or circumstances.

I do see what you mean Boo

old croc -

oh no, nevermind

why bother.

Any cost breakdowns for emotional distress created by excessive weight gain, hormonal mood swings and unrelenting nagging? Not that I have ever experienced such from my lovely hormonally balanced wife. I have heard stories, however. (Stir…stir)

probably the same or less than the fat, lazy, beer drinking, sports addicted husband costs.

Oh..i thought villagefarang WAS talking about men.

---

Miggy..ive never read anything like that from you! Excellent points made...i dont think anyone can dispute that.

I do see what you mean Boo

old croc -

oh no, nevermind

why bother.

Don't be like that Mig.

If you think my reasoning is flawed, please point it out.

careful miggie, keep this up and we will have to make you the honorary token Asian member of the fat feminazi bitch coven

No it won't. Miggy made some very valid points. But, no two marriages are the same. In my marriages I made all the money. I also did all the cooking and clean up, and, all the outside work. My two ex wives did the housework cleaning (vaccuming and laundry) but that was pretty much it. It doesn't take all day to clean a home. I have a great big house and do it all the time in an hour or so. I also financed my wives in various careers that they chose not to continue with after they did it for a while and it bored them. My first wife was a registered nurse, but chose not to work once I started supporting her. My son financed his wife through a university career, but she hasn't worked since.

But, for young couples raising a family then it is a different game altogether. SOMEBODY has to look after the kids, and it's usually the one who has the best career and can make the most money. In my case that was me. In my friend's case it is his wife and Bryan stays home and looks after their 3 kids.

But, I also know some men who can't boil water. My father was one of those. Those guys need someone to take care of them. It's like they needed to marry their mother. My father was the typical "macho male" who was a former sports star, and everyone loved him, but without mother looking after him I'm not sure how he would have survived. As it was their marriage lasted over 70 years and they fought every day of it. Dad died at 87 after mother moved him into an old age home... where he hated it. She died 3 year later at 82.