OxfordWill suggested in another topic that it may be time for another game. So I thought: why not?

To make it easier for the expats, I'll start in the far east:

Epping

Wots da game?

It's hard, you'll need to watch carefully for severl months to even acquire the basics.

7by7 has opened with Epping Station which is an immediate breach of the rules. In the opening move, Epping can only apply to the sausages, not the station. I'll counter his dishonesty with Upminster.

Both on the London Underground system one on the central line and one on the Northern line No?

I give up.

Is it some kind of fruity Kenneth Wiliams double-entendre style game, where "Epping" sounds like "<deleted>" and Upminster sounds like "Up Minister"?

If not, give up.

It sounds Monument-ally Barking to me,

Cockfosters in the Oval Mudchute anyone?

Explaining the rules is a total breach of the rules.

Sigh....

Mornington Crescent

Errrmm.

Piccadilly Circus

Noooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You cannot access Piccadilly Circus via Upminster unless you do so after Rickmansworth is named.

OK, Rickmansworth.

Give me strength.....

Train spotters and railway timetable perusers......

Ye Gods!

Noooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You cannot access Piccadilly Circus via Upminster unless you do so after Rickmansworth is named.

OK, Rickmansworth.

Give me strength.....

Piccadilly Circus?

I know it's early in the game, but I'm going to use Trumpington's Variation for my move. I believe this is allowed whenever Piccadilly Circus is thrown into the mix!

Blackfriers.

Trumpington's variation? The last I heard it was discredited because of the unfair advantage that it offers, although there is always this old stalwart that can be used under such circumstances:

Baker Street.

Oh come on. Surely that has not got you all stumped, it really is quite easy if you think about it.

I'll give you a clue. Think 'Hawlington amendment 68'.

Since I have not had a turn, I can definitely counter Baker St with an enpassant to Buckingham palace

Such a lucid response from somebody who is clearly new to the game, touche sir.

Tooting Broadway.

One of the advantages of being new is that the rules are still very fresh in my memory.

I claim that I can riposte in response to your last move since you called touche, thereby having a 2nd turn immediately.

But I will wait for confirmation of my claim from the more experienced before I make that move.

Go ahead Harcourt, I'll come in later once it gets racy...

Colliers Wood

Oxford circus. There, I knew that would fox ya'.

Nice zwischenzug! I thought my finachetto would lure you somewhere else.

I must confess to feeling intimidated by such a large number of skilled players in the game.

By not immediately countering Old Croc's archaic Trumpington's Variation with a Stayman bid we left ourselves open to the threatening Oxford Circus move.

I'll disable this with Shagwell Shadwell.

7by7 has opened with Epping Station which is an immediate breach of the rules. In the opening move, Epping can only apply to the sausages, not the station.

Dishonesty, sir? I was using the Walls Concession by eating a pork sausage at the time! A bit early in the game, perhaps, but still allowed, methinks!

I'm left with no alternative;

Kingsbury.

Just when I thought you couldn't sink any lower....

Fortunately I've played on the dark side so I can counter with Shoreditch.

I really fear for the more timid souls here.

This is not a game for the weak of heart!

Golders Green

The Queen's Gambit (Temple Fortune, obviously) would easily nullify that....but I shall be a tad more cagey...let's see if you can look further than just the next move.....

Hampstead Heath! Aha!!!!!

A typical beginners mistake, not doubt you also use a putter to get out of the rough.

Hampstead Heath is easily finessed with Goodge Street.

I think you fell for the ploy...and I did give fair warning.

Another fair warning...don't let this novice give you cause for over-confidence. I have studied the Mornington Cresent Almanac from cover to cover, plus one or two tomes of greater antiquity that I decline to name as their obscure advice is no doubt forgotten by most of today's players ( ) .....

I thus produce for you The Osbaldeston Reverse Shuffle!!!

Hampstead Heath...Again!!!!!!!

Hahahahaha.

I've been a bit of a sleeper watching the various manoeuvres from the signal box, and there is something you lot seem to have failed to notice... According to the lost 'Tome of the Ancient Tubes of Londinium' (which I happened to find in a peat swamp in Rannoch Moor), the rules of the game indicate that it probably finished at post 6 - if not, it clearly finished with the above post. (Sorry for throwing a dogspike on your rails.)

I'd love to claim that victory......but with honour, I must decline. As I was playing under the Sherrif of Marlborough's Variation, my intent was not a speedy victory, and the competition could, nay should, continue.

It should be noted that the rules as per the 'Tome of the Ancient Tubes of Londinium', were deemed obsolete in the High Court. (cf Marlborough v MCJC (Mornington Cres Judiciary Committee), 6th September 1702)

Bah humbug,

I spit on all rules and regulations,

Heathrow, as far away from you petty rule followers as I can get.