How Hot Is hel_l?

[bloody tiger]

How hot is it in hel_l?

A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: Is hel_l exothermic (gives off heat) or orendothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof.

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gascools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of hel_l is changing in time.

So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into hel_l and the rate they are leaving.

I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hel_l, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering hel_l, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hel_l.

Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to hel_l.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hellto increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in hel_l because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hel_l to stay the same, the volume of hel_l has to expand as souls are added.

This leads us to the prospect of two distinct and seperate possibilities.

1. If hel_l is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hel_l, then the temperature and pressure in hel_l will increase until ALL hel_l BREAKS LOOSE.

2. Of course, if hel_l is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hel_l, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hel_l FREEZES OVER.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms.Therese Banyan during my Freshman year, "That it will be a cold night in hel_l before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then 2. cannot be true, and thus hel_l has to be exothermic.

The student got the only A.

[jonsalat]

Brilliant

[Piengrudee]

hel_l is very cold. I have been there. http://www.google.co.th/search?hl=en&q=hel_l+norway

[eefoo]

I saw a different ending when I first read this joke, which is what it is, (See http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hel_l.asp) :-

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Theresa during my freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in He11 before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that He11 is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since He11 has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct .... leaving only Heaven; thereby proving the existence of a divine being, which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God, Oh my God, I'm coming"

I think I prefer this version, as it seems someone has changed the moral viewpoint of the story without changing the physics, because if number one was true then He11 would be endothermic and not exothermic.

[Peterbigeyes]

Awesome one there