I'M Rich !

[tolsti]

you see, all I have to do is send this nice man my bank account details, and then sit back, order my long sought after catamaran, buy a property at RPM, fly First Class all the time and still be able to afford my daily bottle of Chang...

Ah well what the heck

International transfer

Processing Department

Trust Towers Asylum Down

2nd Floor PMB CCCI

Cantonments, Accra Ghana

ATTN: DEAR SIR/MADAM

RE- WIRE TRANSFER INSTRUCTION OF $USD 1.5USD MILLION

THIS IS TO INFORM YOU THAT YOUR FUNDS WAS STILL APPROVED FOR IMMEDIATE TRANSFER SINCE MR KIM WAS TRYING TO DIRVATE THE FUNDS BUT HE WAS ARRESTED BECAUSE THE FUNDS WAS FUND TO BE YOURS FROM THE DATA BASE OF TRANSFER LIST.

INVIEW OF THIS MASSAGE YOU ARE REQUIRED TO RESEND BANKING DETAILS WITH A COPY OF YOUR IDENTIFICATION FOR THE HSBC BANK TO MAKE THIS TRANSFER WITHIN 24 BANKING HOURS FROM NOW.

YOUR URGENT ATTENTION IS OF YOUR OWN BENEFIT.

REGARDS

MR GOODLUCK JAMES

[Moonrakers]

Congratulations. What a great massage.

[Farang0tang]

Lucky sod.

[Spee]

<deleted> is "dirvate?" 5555 ROTFLMAO

[sunholidaysun1]

This is why some countries in Africa need our donations for a better education system, then with any luck they wont be as Brain Dead as they think we are !! Just reply politely and tell him to go **** himself.

[TheyCallmeScooter]

Congratulations. What a great massage.

Nicely done. Took me a moment or two longer than it should have....

This is why some countries in Africa need our donations for a better education system, then with any luck they wont be as Brain Dead as they think we are !! Just reply politely and tell him to go **** himself.

Please remind me to employ your services when I next plan a witty retort to a computerised spam mail sent by the million to the world's non-Gmail users.

[tim armstrong]

They seem to always give the game away in the details - Trust Towers Asylum Down ?? Regards Mr.Good luck James ? I find the UK and Irish Lotto ones the best, but I haven't had any recently, or plane crashes with no relatives.

[KarenBravo]

They seem to always give the game away in the details - Regards Mr.Good luck James ?

You do know that the current president of Nigeria is Mr. Goodluck Jonathan?

[TheyCallmeScooter]

They seem to always give the game away in the details - Regards Mr.Good luck James ?

You do know that the current president of Nigeria is Mr. Goodluck Jonathan?

I'm torn between Tim not actually being cognisant of that fact...or Tim's comment pointing out it would be like signing a similar email "Mr Obama Bush".

I'm leaning heavily towards the former - with apologies to Tim if it was, in fact, the latter.

[TheyCallmeScooter]

Actually, this somewhat boring "been done before - ahem" thread which I'm not even sure how or why I'm involved in, might just have gotten OT-interesting.

Goodluck Jonathan (and Nigerian politics) are amazing and on the verge of chaos. I actually don't know enough about the impending war apart from my personal view of it being all-but-guaranteed, as a result of Goodluck Jonathan (and I'm not saying he's in the wrong to break the unwritten alternating policy between the Muslims and Christians).

I really should probably trigger a thread in TV Politics sub-forum (if one exists), but forums with this many sub-forums scare me. Well, the effort of finding the right sub-forum scares me.

But if anyone interested in politics is reading a thread about Spam mail, Goodluck Jonathan is Fascinating (note the capitalisation - intended). His rise from son of canoe-makers to President of the nation would certainly have been blessed with luck quite beyond mere 'good'; but how much luck is involved is scarily debatable. When one realises he has never been elected to public office in his rise from son of canoe makers to President of Nigeria.

Years ago, I read an article in TIME I think (maybe Newsweek) talking about his fascinating story and his unbelievable rise and rise around the time when he effectively became an unofficial acting President as Yar'Adua's health failed. The article then went on to say something like "but even if Yar'Adua passes away, and Jonathan becomes President in his own right, it will be very short-lived as the next election will elect a Muslim President under the alternating power-sharing agreement".

I remember thinking "No way. If this guy makes President, he's not meekly handing over power to some Muslims up north. There is going to be a war."

And I'm not just claiming that to make you think I'm a genius. I am (truthfully) claiming that to make you think I'm Nostradamus. Which isn't really true, I can't forsee the future. It just seems as if I can, due to my aforementioned (and no doubt evident) genius. chortle.

But yeah, Goodluck Jonathan. Amazing, amazing fellow with an amazing story...ongoing. He's something pretty special.

[TheyCallmeScooter]

Retarded genius, perhaps. I just learned the deal was every 2 elections, they swap. But I'm going to distract from the fact I was unaware of this by commenting on how ridiculous such a long timeframe to alternate really is. 8 years in power gives someone in a developing nation a hel_l of a long time to shore up their position, if they wish to thumb their nose at the guys they're supposed to hand over power to in the 8th year.

Morans.

Then again, Goodluck didn't have 8 years of course. That guy skips up the political ladder 2309 steps at a time. Without the 'inconvenience' of facing an election. Although it seems he is preparing to face his first one as the incumbent President. I can't really see him bothering with the inconvenience of an election when he's finally in the position where he doesn't really technically 'need' to - as he is more of a genius than most geniuses can ever hope to be, he must only be going through the motions.

Prediction: Goodluck Jonathan popularly-elected President of Nigeria in 2010. Bet the house, the farm, and your shirt/s off your back.

[TheyCallmeScooter]

Sigh. I see the BBC has some non-morans on staff (their reports on the Bangkok riots notwithstanding).

Someone pointed out the Obvious. Before I was interested, some time back.

One of the tasks Mr Jonathan set himself when he became acting president in February was to push through electoral reform that would see elections brought forward by four months to January.This makes the probable date of the PDP convention around mid-September, just four months away.

The one thing that Nigerians can be certain of is that the real election for president is happening right now.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/8664492.stm

Brought forward by 4 months lol. His impatience is fascinating.

Prediction: Goodluck Jonathan popularly-elected President of the World in 2020. Bet...a modest amount.

-----

Okay I'll stop now.

[TheyCallmeScooter]

Goodluck Jonathan (and Nigerian politics) are amazing and on the verge of chaos. I actually don't know enough about the impending war apart from my personal view of it being all-but-guaranteed, as a result of Goodluck Jonathan (and I'm not saying he's in the wrong to break the unwritten alternating policy between the Muslims and Christians).

I really should probably trigger a thread in TV Politics sub-forum (if one exists), but forums with this many sub-forums scare me. Well, the effort of finding the right sub-forum scares me.

But if anyone interested in politics is reading a thread about Spam mail, Goodluck Jonathan is Fascinating (note the capitalisation - intended). His rise from son of canoe-makers to President of the nation would certainly have been blessed with luck quite beyond mere 'good'; but how much luck is involved is scarily debatable. When one realises he has never been elected to public office in his rise from son of canoe makers to President of Nigeria.

Years ago, I read an article in TIME I think (maybe Newsweek) talking about his fascinating story and his unbelievable rise and rise around the time when he effectively became an unofficial acting President as Yar'Adua's health failed. The article then went on to say something like "but even if Yar'Adua passes away, and Jonathan becomes President in his own right, it will be very short-lived as the next election will elect a Muslim President under the alternating power-sharing agreement".

I remember thinking "No way. If this guy makes President, he's not meekly handing over power to some Muslims up north. There is going to be a war."

And I'm not just claiming that to make you think I'm a genius. I am (truthfully) claiming that to make you think I'm Nostradamus. Which isn't really true, I can't forsee the future. It just seems as if I can, due to my aforementioned (and no doubt evident) genius. chortle.

But yeah, Goodluck Jonathan. Amazing, amazing fellow with an amazing story...ongoing. He's something pretty special.

I was wrong. I had forgotten to take into account the fact that, just because two parties oppose each other, doesn't mean they are enemies (in politics). Rotating the strike was a little way of keeping both powercamps in bed together, when they had nothing to gain (too much oil profits to split up peacefully) from a war.

Not sure what to make of Goodluck the Genius' breaking the 'gentleman's' agreement, maybe he's just so powerful they meekly realise resistance is futile and all their (Muslim) base belong to him.

This guy...this guy is something. It's almost creepy how the world's media treats him like a darling son, a hero of perfect democrazy. I'm not against the guy, I think he's a freaking genius. But there's something creepy going on, and I don't know what it is yet.

--------------

He won, as I predicted, if no one noticed (and posting in an OT thread, I'm sure no one did or does). The election monitors are falling over themselves to blubber about how free and fair these elections were.

I think my problem with it all is no one - no one, and definitely no one is politics - can possibly be this Amazing, without being very much NOT amazing at all. Surely not?

Democracy 1, vote-rigging 0

Gambling on the world's most expensive voting system has paid off

Apr 14th 2011 | from the print edition

ANYONE who has received a Nigerian scam e-mail—offering to share vast wealth in exchange for just a teensy bit of advance capital—will instantly grasp how rife corruption is in Africa's most populous and entrepreneurial country. This is true of politics as well as commerce. Cheating has become so brazen that few Nigerians expect fair elections. Politicians have for years larded voter lists with the names of foreign musicians, including deceased ones like Marvin Gaye, and have stuffed ballot boxes with abandon.

At parliamentary elections on April 9th, allegations of rigging were once again in the air. Violence also flared up. And the late delivery of ballot papers, which were securely printed abroad, delayed the voting by a week. Nonetheless, the poll marked the first credible election in Nigeria since the end of military rule 12 years ago (seearticle).

What made it different is that officials fought back hard for the first time. They introduced a new voting system that severely limits fraud, using a clever mix of high-tech and low-tech. All 73.5m voters were fingerprinted and screened to stop duplication. Most polling booths opened for only an hour to prevent multiple voting. Electoral officials tallied the results in front of the voters. Independent monitors collected the numbers instantaneously using mobile phones in an exercise called "crowd tabulation".

The process has been expensive: the government has set a record for public spending on elections of $580m. Western donors argued at first that the system was too complex for a developing country to handle. They were wrong.

The credit goes mostly to two men. The first is President Goodluck Jonathan, who is himself standing for re-election on April 16th. He may thus benefit personally from the reforms, but he acted against the interests of his party, which had perfected the dark art of rigging. The second is Attahiru Jega, head of the official election commission, who designed a voting system that angered many powerful lobbies. Together they have given new hope to the many Nigerians who are embarrassed that their vibrant country, often ranked as the most optimistic in the world, has become a byword for swindling and fraud.

More has to change before Nigeria's political leaders can claim full legitimacy. The elections may be more transparent, but governing still takes place largely behind closed doors. The legislature remains too weak. The Official Secrets Act, which makes it illegal to publish government data independently, needs reform. So do the courts, which are suspected of bias and corruption. Legal challenges after previous elections have failed to produce a single conviction for electoral fraud.

Fit for export

Better elections should in the end help resolve Nigeria's existential question—whether this wildly diverse country of 150m people from 250 ethnic groups created by British colonial masters can work. But ambitious talk of taking over regional leadership is premature. Nigeria should first try to close the democratic gap with South Africa, the continent's top dog, as well as improve its scam-ridden economy.

The best way for Nigeria to show leadership is to help its neighbours to stop rigging their polls. Not all have the right staff or can afford high-tech answers. But as countries from Côte d'Ivoire to Kenya have found, bad or contested elections can be the costliest mistakes of all.

In other news, is The Economist like corrupt or something? Since when is vote-buying...democracy 1? Do they need a lesson in Democracy 101? Or do I need a lesson in reality 101.

This is almost nauseating, this blubbering.

Nigeria's presidential election

The real thing

The incumbent, Goodluck Jonathan, has won handily and more or less fairly

Apr 20th 2011 | ABUJA AND LAGOS | from the print edition

The hat stays on

TWO days before polling day, in the back room of a Chinese restaurant in Lagos, Nigeria's commercial capital, one of Goodluck Jonathan's campaign teams uncorked a bottle of champagne. They were certain of victory. In past polls this might have been a sign of rigging but this time apparently not.

Mr Jonathan, a zoologist who hails from a family of canoe makers in Nigeria's oil-rich southern delta, took 59% of the 38.2m votes cast on April 16th. His main rival, Muhammadu Buhari, a former military ruler from the country's arid north, took 32%. The conduct of the election was hailed as a big improvement on the unfair polls of the past dozen years.

Mr Jonathan's People's Democratic Party won thanks to a vast network of patronage and public money. Opposition parties failed to form an alliance in the run-up to the poll. In the largely Christian south, many voters plumped for the sitting president because of his roots there. Others just wanted continuity after a turbulent 12 months, during which Mr Jonathan unexpectedly came to power on the death of his predecessor, Umaru Yar'Adua. "We don't want to start afresh again," said an architect casting his vote in Lagos.

But such sentiments were not echoed in the mostly Muslim north, where the president trailed Mr Buhari and must now build bridges. As early results trickled in and put Mr Jonathan in the lead, youths began torching buildings in northern cities, including Kano and Kaduna, the business and political hubs respectively that have lost their clout in recent years as the landlocked region has declined. Curfews were swiftly imposed. Mr Jonathan and Mr Buhari appealed for calm.

Many northerners said the youths were not just railing against the election results. Northern Nigerians are poorer and worse educated than their compatriots in the south. A string of leaders, including many from the north, have failed to redress such inequalities. "These young people should be driving development but they feel outside the focus of the government," says Auwalu Anwar, a member of Mr Buhari's Congress for Progressive Change (CPC).

International and Nigerian observers have so far praised this month's parliamentary and presidential polls (contests for state governors are scheduled for April 26th), marking a contrast to a widespread rejection of the previous ones in 2007. "We appear to have witnessed a giant of Africa reform itself," says Festus Mogae, a former president of Botswana and leader of the Commonwealth observers' team. Other teams endorsed the poll, though noting flaws. Under-age voting persisted. Local counting centres,

Hi Economist, but please explain why you're trying to slip this little fact past the censors of logic and justice and reason?

Mr Jonathan's People's Democratic Party won thanks to a vast network of patronage and public money.

Mr Jonathan's People's Democratic Party won thanks to a vast network of patronage and public money.

I wonder if the Economist understands what that means. I wonder if they think - or are hoping - their readers don't?

[khaowong1]

Tolsi, I got off track reading all those other posts. Sorry.. CONGRATULATIONS YOU LUCKY BUGGER.