You know how it is... a beautiful girl by your side... sunset in motion... cooling air-conditioning chilling you to a comfortable T-shirt attire... or less… the stage is set... the two of you lean on each other... attracted to each other... spell bound... the flesh is screaming for the lip's touch... your hands are all over her... then it happens...

You let out a loud fart.

I'm curious about a milestone we reach in relationships or the girls you go out with.. .there's an invisible code that guides us when we have sex... noone tells us when to do it... it just happens... with or without the embarassment... and both parties are for the better... but when is it cool to fart?

As far as I’m concerned... there are only 2 reactions from a woman...

1) Generally good-natured laughter. She appreciates your humour and is (though slightly taken aback) not bothered by your lack of civility or manners.

2) Generally good-natured look of scorn. Disgust and lack of apathy (c'mon!! I only had 2 bowls of baked beans!) coupled with an utter lack of tact makes for a quick getaway...or if you’re lucky enough...a blowjob before scooting off...

There's no in-between...no fine line that divides the Red Sea... a woman either laughs it off and continues dating you... or drops you off at the baggage counter...

I've always wondered why women never EVER fart. It's always a cool picture of composure that exudes from those pristine creatures we all wanna get our dicks into... perhaps it's a woman thing… trained in the mystic arts of 'If-i-can-tolerate-period-cramps-tryin-to-look-cool-while-farting-is-chicken-feed' that's steeped in tradition... Until now I've only ever heard one of my gfs fart… and mind you... that was a post-coital fart...

When it comes to controlling a fart... I’ve never been able to pull a straight face… I mean... c’mon... all you wanna do is let it all out... but your butt muscles are contracted and tightened... the knowledge and embarrassment of a hundred pairs of eyes on you is just too much for any civilised person to take...

Yes… I’m guilty of that too... both controlling a fart or letting one of those 'silent-but-deadly' killers... at times... if I can’t control it any more... I excuse myself to the bathroom... blue-faced and all... and let go the mother of all emissions...

It's weird how us men can derive humor from the gas that I reckon could give PTTEP gas a run for its money... we talk about our bowel movements as though it's one of life's simple pleasures... the fart jokes... to the 'Whose fart is louder' contests... it's a testament to why women always fail to understand us men...

So what's a harmless fart?

Theres nothing wrong with it Jai Dee but as a women, it is generally accepted from the bf after being together for some time & usually totally accepted after moving in together or whilst asleep ( as no one can control it) but letting one rip with a new squeeze just isn't on & esp. during a romantic moment or a public place.

The correct ettitquette & one the girls follow is to excuse yourself & go to the toilet or if one isn't around, then to feign interest in something (shop window etc) & walk away from you & let out a silent one away from your nostrils.

We girls are wiley creatures & just cause you never hear or smell our farts doesn't mean we don't do them.

Not on the first date anyway!

You know how it is... a beautiful girl by your side... sunset in motion... cooling air-conditioning chilling you to a comfortable T-shirt attire... or less… the stage is set... the two of you lean on each other... attracted to each other... spell bound... the flesh is screaming for the lip's touch... your hands are all over her... then it happens...

You let out a loud fart.

I'm curious about a milestone we reach in relationships or the girls you go out with.. .there's an invisible code that guides us when we have sex... noone tells us when to do it... it just happens... with or without the embarassment... and both parties are for the better... but when is it cool to fart?

As far as I’m concerned... there are only 2 reactions from a woman...

1) Generally good-natured laughter. She appreciates your humour and is (though slightly taken aback) not bothered by your lack of civility or manners.

2) Generally good-natured look of scorn. Disgust and lack of apathy (c'mon!! I only had 2 bowls of baked beans!) coupled with an utter lack of tact makes for a quick getaway...or if you’re lucky enough...a blowjob before scooting off...

There's no in-between...no fine line that divides the Red Sea... a woman either laughs it off and continues dating you... or drops you off at the baggage counter...

I've always wondered why women never EVER fart. It's always a cool picture of composure that exudes from those pristine creatures we all wanna get our dicks into... perhaps it's a woman thing… trained in the mystic arts of 'If-i-can-tolerate-period-cramps-tryin-to-look-cool-while-farting-is-chicken-feed' that's steeped in tradition... Until now I've only ever heard one of my gfs fart… and mind you... that was a post-coital fart...

When it comes to controlling a fart... I’ve never been able to pull a straight face… I mean... c’mon... all you wanna do is let it all out... but your butt muscles are contracted and tightened... the knowledge and embarrassment of a hundred pairs of eyes on you is just too much for any civilised person to take...

Yes… I’m guilty of that too... both controlling a fart or letting one of those 'silent-but-deadly' killers... at times... if I can’t control it any more... I excuse myself to the bathroom... blue-faced and all... and let go the mother of all emissions...

It's weird how us men can derive humor from the gas that I reckon could give PTTEP gas a run for its money... we talk about our bowel movements as though it's one of life's simple pleasures... the fart jokes... to the 'Whose fart is louder' contests... it's a testament to why women always fail to understand us men...

So what's a harmless fart?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

So what's a harmless fart?

For me, farting has been a continous lifetime source of amusement.

My first divorce was based upon the fact that I let a huge ripper go in the middle of a tea room in Hastings.

I still laugh today when I think about it.

Thanks for reminding me.

Theres nothing wrong with it Jai Dee but as a women, it is generally accepted from the bf after being together for some time & usually totally accepted after moving in together or whilst asleep ( as no one can control it) but letting one rip with a new squeeze just isn't on & esp. during a romantic moment or a public place.

The correct ettitquette & one the girls follow is to excuse yourself & go to the toilet or if one isn't around, then to feign interest in something (shop window etc) & walk away from you & let out a silent one away from your nostrils.   

We girls are wiley creatures & just cause you never hear or smell our farts doesn't mean we don't do them.  

Girls have petite wafting farts while men have thunder farts. The fact is the human averages 10-15 farts a day regardless of gender. I have on occasion woken up by the sound of my own explosion and embarrasadly look to see if my partner was still asleep. 'tis awkward indeed.

Don't ever say a female can't have a smelly one either, especially after she has eaten a large serving of som tam before coming to bed.

For me, farting has been a continous lifetime source of amusement.

My first divorce was based upon the fact that I let a huge ripper go in the middle of a tea room in Hastings.

I still laugh today when I think about it.

Thanks for reminding me.

Most of us blokes really do find them amusing don't we?

Do the fairer sex find them just as amusing?

Natural gas (PTTEP gas) is actually odorless.

The characteristic smell is added industrially, in order to provide an indicator when there is a potentially dangerous leak.

At the pool yesterday, my sweetie made a loud "fart like" sound as her air mattress squeaked against wet skin- then, a couple thai kids started laughing hysterically (along with my Ja) and the one kid loudly squealed: "Farang TORT!" I was innocent dammitt!!

So, I might just let a big one rip the next time we're at a nice restaraunt and then motion at her in mock disgust. If this 'backfires' I'll refer to Boo's post above

Khor tot krap

actually translates as...

"May I .... fart.....please"

Politely rendered as "Excuse me"

It's really amusing Jai Dee, when hubby farts in bed then forces the duvet over my head, I laugh & laugh NOT.

We (generally) don't find them as amusing as you men, the odd one or two can raise a chuckle but women don't seem to have the same level of pride in theirs that you fellas do !

And yes, ladies parps can smell too but we are a bit more polite generally but I'm sure thats where the silent but violent comes from

It's really amusing Jai Dee, when hubby farts in bed then forces the duvet over my head, I laugh & laugh       NOT.

Ahhh.... the old "dutch oven" trick...

The age old question. Why does ones' own farts seem to smell just fine but someone elses is just disgusting?

I think , after a few years, it is down to how comfortable and open partners are with eachother. I work with some people who after 10 years of marriage, still will leave the room to fart. The same people also visit massage parlours and snort coke without the spouse knowing.

Such Gents.....

Girls don't fart. I'm not listening, la la laa laaaa. (hands over ears).

The age old question.  Why does ones' own farts seem to smell just fine but someone elses is just disgusting? 

Nah! I really hate the smell of my own farts. My bottom burps most mornings are just plain sickly.

I've got to take in a strong whiff of the rancid odour to confirm just how putrid it is. Then another whiff to reconfirm the confirmation. Then another whiff to double check the confirmation of the reconfirmation. Bloody vile they are.

If I'm lucky I can get my wife's head in a leg-lock and let her evaluate just how bad they are. She always agrees with me.

if you light them they dont smell.

if you light them they dont smell.

Yeah, but burning butt hair doesn't smell a whole lot better.

Khor tot krap

actually translates as...

"May I .... fart.....please"

Politely rendered as "Excuse me"

Or, you can say: "Thoot dai mai'?

Not much else can be said then...

Someone needs to remind my wife that when i go south it is never cool to fart, especially if it is cold and we have the duvet over us. She finds it highly amusing but i dont

I loathe farting. I can't stand being around people who fart. Farting, BAD smelly farts, are an effect of bad diet. I don't care who it is

Now you know... don't be farting around me ok?

**PPPRPRRRRRTTTTTTTT*****

In response to th OP as to when is it okay, when is that milestone that says it´s not going make her slap you and walk away from you in a private moment of impromtu air infusions in the room:

I generally manage to behave for a while.... Until the girl accidently lets one rip.... Once she´s broken the barrier, there´s no stopping me...

Actually... I never fart. Never pick my nose. Never wank... Never.

Never Kayo, never.................... (nose grows!)

I find it the perfect way to warm the bed in winter

what? Growing you nose?

...I've always wondered why women never EVER fart....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You haven't lived.

Girls don't fart. I'm not listening, la la laa laaaa. (hands over ears).

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sorry Will, but...

Nothing's wrong with that but h* not on the first date but if it really happens!! well .. hmm .. I don't know. First date and you fart kinda bit turns me off. Fortunately, it hasn't ever happened to me yet. My first date either sucks or f*.

General speaking, I laugh .. try not to laugh, try to be nice. Gotta say it's embarrassing!! It really is.

he he - cute thread, but doesn't concern me in the least.

So what's a harmless fart?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

For me, farting has been a continous lifetime source of amusement.

Never known a little kid yet who didn't get a kick out of the "pull my finger" gag.

Farts I can live with. Everyone let's one slip now and then. It's the people who don't "courtesy flush" in the can that get me riled up. Not that it is really a problem in the typical roadside loo in LoS.

Depends on the relationship.

If it's a long term meaningful relationship then anytime after you've "slept" together but not in the bed, that should wait until you are co-habiting unless it's a particularly "earthy" relationship.

If it's a P4P relationship then you should most definately wait until you are out of the short time room. It is important to show a little consideration for the next customer.

Natural gas (PTTEP gas) is actually odorless.

The characteristic smell is added industrially, in order to provide an indicator when there is a potentially dangerous leak.

LNG and LPG are odourised by the addition of small quantities of ethaneithiol aka ethyl mercaptan.

Ethanethiol is the organic compound with the formula CH₃CH₂SH. It consists of an ethyl group, CH₃CH₂, abbreviated Et, attached to a thiol group, SH, and the entire molecule is often abbreviated EtSH.

Odour

Ethanethiol has strongly disagreeable odour that humans can detect in minute concentrations. The threshold for human detection is as low as one part in 2.8 billion parts of air. Its odour resembles that of leeks. Ethanethiol is intentionally added to butane and propane to impart an easily noticed smell to these odourless fuels, that otherwise pose the threat of fire and explosion.

According to the Guinness Book of Records, ethanethiol is the "smelliest substance" in existence. Other more specialized chemicals were probably not examined, however. Most volatile thiols are comparably offensive.

Toxicity

Ethyl mercaptan is toxic, the LC50 for rat inhalation is 2770 ppm for 4 hours.

So next time your missus complains about your farts threaten her with that stuff!

btw 1 : LC50 is the Lethal Concentration in which 50 percent of the subjects die.

btw 2 : Am I sad or what?