Mine did.

Said it was "not fair"

Never do, since a teenager.

If I don't have a woman in bed with me, I just sleep.

There was a young man from Nosham

Who took off his balls to wash 'em

His wife said: "Jack,

If you don't put 'em back

I'll stand on the buggers and squash 'em"

welcome to bedlem Dag........

well if she gets angey, pop down the massage parlour and get someone else to so it

well if she gets angey,

if she gets Angey....I'll be happy.

tutsi is in bed with his beloved after an argument about 30 years ago...

'IF YOU DON'T PUT OUT RIGHT NOW I'M GONNA BEAT OFF AN' COME ALL OVER THE SHEETS...'

'yew better not...'

'I WILL, I WILL...I'LL COME GALLONS ALL OVER THE GODDAM SHEETS AN' YOU'LL HAVETA SLEEP IN IT, GODAMMIT...'

'(sigh) all right then...'

' AN' I WANNA SEE YER BUTT SO HIGH UP IN THE AIR THAT LUNAR SATELLITES WILL BE CONFUSED...'

(mumble, grumble an' I only wanted a fiver for a six pack of tall buds...)

The wives' responses are irrational (if they had full knowledge).

Their reaction is based on the misperception that you should be engaging with them rather than alone. But the chemical changes by masturbation are different to sexual intercourse, and masturbation is programmed into the male to ensure the sperm remaining is fresh-- around the 2 day mark.

So tell them to leave you alone.

Only when I took showers with her sister. I like to conserve water so I share the shower with ladies.

tutsi is in bed with his beloved after an argument about 30 years ago...

'IF YOU DON'T PUT OUT RIGHT NOW I'M GONNA BEAT OFF AN' COME ALL OVER THE SHEETS...'

'yew better not...'

'I WILL, I WILL...I'LL COME GALLONS ALL OVER THE GODDAM SHEETS AN' YOU'LL HAVETA SLEEP IN IT, GODAMMIT...'

'(sigh) all right then...'

' AN' I WANNA SEE YER BUTT SO HIGH UP IN THE AIR THAT LUNAR SATELLITES WILL BE CONFUSED...'

(mumble, grumble an' I only wanted a fiver for a six pack of tall buds...)

Reminiscing (sp?) about things that happened thirty years ago is my forte.

How are you?

tutsi is in bed with his beloved after an argument about 30 years ago...

'IF YOU DON'T PUT OUT RIGHT NOW I'M GONNA BEAT OFF AN' COME ALL OVER THE SHEETS...'

'yew better not...'

'I WILL, I WILL...I'LL COME GALLONS ALL OVER THE GODDAM SHEETS AN' YOU'LL HAVETA SLEEP IN IT, GODAMMIT...'

'(sigh) all right then...'

' AN' I WANNA SEE YER BUTT SO HIGH UP IN THE AIR THAT LUNAR SATELLITES WILL BE CONFUSED...'

(mumble, grumble an' I only wanted a fiver for a six pack of tall buds...)

Reminiscing (sp?) about things that happened thirty years ago is my forte.

How are you?

hi Humph...not doin' too good with blood pressure probs, at home now until things improve...no longer with VA1...probably go back to work in Dec...

hi Humph...not doin' too good with blood pressure probs, at home now until things improve...no longer with VA1...probably go back to work in Dec...

Yeah, I'm recovering (I hope) from pneumonia.

NT2 finishes end of this month.

After that - who knows.

No. She helps. Makes me stronger for the next round.....

No. She helps. Makes me stronger for the next round.....

Oh....premature problems huh ....

No. She helps. Makes me stronger for the next round.....

Oh....premature problems huh ....

That's where most of 'is problems started I gather....

Only when I took showers with her sister. I like to conserve water so I share the shower with ladies.

& small furry animals?

No. She helps. Makes me stronger for the next round.....

Ah, the be young and having the quicky-problems again...sometimes now I just want it to be over so I can sleep.

I think it was dear ol' Kan Win who told me this over a beer many many years ago when I was a young(er) lad...

98% of men admit masturbating - 2% lie

2% of women admit to masturbating - 98% lie.

Does Your Wife Get Angry If You Masturbate?

Only if I do it in public

Simon

Does Your Wife Get Angry If You Masturbate?

Only if I do it in public

Simon

That used to upset my Mother as well.

There's a book called 'The Male Brain' by Louann Brizendine which explains how the male brain works from before conception right up to the grandad brain. It's really interesting how many of the actions of boys and men that are assumed to be a result of their upbringing and environment are actually a result of the change of hormonal mixes in the body. Well worth a read if you can get your hands on it.

Does Your Wife Get Angry If You Masturbate?

Only if I do it in public

Simon

Ahhh... the pieces of the puzzle are falling into place.

Time has that habit.

There's a book called 'The Male Brain' by Louann Brizendine which explains how the male brain works from before conception right up to the grandad brain. It's really interesting how many of the actions of boys and men that are assumed to be a result of their upbringing and environment are actually a result of the change of hormonal mixes in the body. Well worth a read if you can get your hands on it.

so that explains bein' 61 y.o. and dysfunctional...Fellini had a movie with a crazy man up in a tree shouting: 'I want a woman...I want a woman...', not so crazy, one would say, just the limited perception of 'normal' folks...

now, there is a tree on the corner not far from my house....

Mine pays me to do it.

There's a book called 'The Male Brain' by Louann Brizendine which explains how the male brain works from before conception right up to the grandad brain. It's really interesting how many of the actions of boys and men that are assumed to be a result of their upbringing and environment are actually a result of the change of hormonal mixes in the body. Well worth a read if you can get your hands on it.

so that explains bein' 61 y.o. and dysfunctional...Fellini had a movie with a crazy man up in a tree shouting: 'I want a woman...I want a woman...', not so crazy, one would say, just the limited perception of 'normal' folks...

now, there is a tree on the corner not far from my house....

now, the tree has been cut down as the lot is under construction...and the option is now no longer available and tutsi cringes under the duvet as the walls close in...

Do you guys get angry if your wife does?

with the 5'11" girlfriend I'd find her in the tub arranged so that water from the faucet was stimulating her and then she would look up lazily and say: 'close the curtain, please...thanks...' and I would then become more attentive...I mean, that I beat off all the time and she is certainly entitled...if I was lucky then I was invited to join her as she useta join me in similar circumstances so long as a magazine wasn't involved...

the thai wife would get more upset and say: 'are you going to visit 'lady computer' tonight?...' (meaning a porn site)

then, a jewish girlfriend would get really pissed off as she couldn't believe that masturbation could equal the availability of real physical sex...

sometimes the ladies just don't unnerstand...

Do you guys get angry if your wife does?

Only if I not allowed to watch.

if you can get your hands on it.

For the majority, just one hand will do

Do you guys get angry if your wife does?

Only if I not allowed to watch.

Well then, just watch each other. Problem solved?

Do you guys get angry if your wife does?

Only if I not allowed to watch.

Well then, just watch each other. Problem solved?

The probelm is that female masturbation is a spectator sport while male masturbation is most certainly not. For the male it is something you do alone to your own rhythm, like playing solitaire only with tissue.