"Hence to fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting."

Sun Tzu

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.

Spike Milligan

One evening I seated Beauty on my Knees. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her. - Arthur Rimbaud

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Hi vibrato sounded like he was driving a tractor over a ploughed field with weights tied to his scrotum.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

Money couldn't buy friends, but you get a better class of enemy.

-Spike Milligan

Voltaire, asked on his deathbed to renounce Satan: “This is no time to make new enemies”.

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Maestro

“To think the world therefore a general Bedlam, or place of madmen, and oneself a physician, is the most necessary point of present wisdom: an important imagination, and the way to happiness.”

Thomas Traheme...

This one is for Maestro!

Voltaire, asked on his deathbed to renounce Satan: “This is no time to make new enemies”.

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Maestro

Yeah, love it!!

Voltaire, asked on his deathbed to renounce Satan: “This is no time to make new enemies”.

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Maestro

Yeah, love it!!

Me too!

Mistakes are the portals of discovery.

James Joyce (1882 - 1941)

Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.

Mahatma Gandhi (1869 - 1948)

Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose. - Janis Joplin

nothing left to lose.

nothing left to lose.

How did I / Janis confuse you?

no confusion.

Just... words that strike nerves.

no confusion.

Just... words that strike nerves.

Yes, simple but powerful words.

“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.”

_ Epictetus

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Maestro

“If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.”

_ Aristotle Onassis

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Maestro

Hate is not overcome by hate; by love alone is hate appeased. This is an eternal law.

The Buddha

that´s a pretty good one endure.

Sarcasms is the lowest form of wit, but the highest form of entertainment on ThaiVisaDotCom ®

“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.”

_ Bertrand Russell

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Maestro

“What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.”

_ Mark Twain

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Maestro

Twas a woman who drove me to drink, and I never did write and thank her.

--I don't remember who

Twas a woman who drove me to drink, and I never did write and thank her.

--I don't remember who

Groucho Marx.

"I think if we were to do what Speaker Pelosi and Congressman Murtha are suggesting, all we will do is validate the al-Qaida strategy. The al-Qaida strategy is to break the will of the American people ... try to persuade us to throw in the towel and come home, and then they win because we quit." -- Dick Cheney

Oh, this is a lovely thread. Wonderful brain trix.

"Wish I had time for just one more bowl of chilli."

Last words of Kit Carson, American frontiersman.

Notes to junta:

No great thing is created suddenly. —Epictetus (A.D.200)

Well done is better than well said. —Benjamin Franklin

Twas a woman who drove me to drink, and I never did write and thank her.

--I don't remember who

Groucho Marx.

good one.

Quote: Candy, is dandy, but Liquor, is quicker.

Author: Ogden Nash 1902-1971, American Humorous Poet

Quote: I only drink to make other people seem more interesting.

Author: George Jean Nathan 1882-1958, American Critic

Quote: The Great Spirit, who made all things, made every thing for some use, and whatever use he designed anything for, that use it should always be put to. Now, when he made rum, he said ''Let this be for the Indians to get drunk with,'' and it must be so.

Author: Native American Elder

Quote: For art to exist, for any sort of aesthetic activity or perception to exist, a certain physiological precondition is indispensable: intoxication.

Author: Friedrich Nietzsche 1844-1900, German Philosopher

Quote: Where does one not find that bland degeneration which beer produces in the spirit!

Author: Friedrich Nietzsche 1844-1900, German Philosopher

Quote: A torchlight procession marching down your throat.

Author: John Louis O'Sullivan

Quote: Thanks be to God. Since my leaving the drinking of wine, I do find myself much better, and do mind my business better, and do spend less money, and less time lost in idle company.

Author: Samuel Pepys 1633-1703, British Diarist

Quote: This is the great fault of wine; it first trips up the feet: it is a cunning wrestler.

Author: Titus Maccius Plautus BC 254-184, Roman Comic Poet

Quote: What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for.

Author: Irish Proverb Sayings of Irish Origin

Quote: Old wine and friends improve with age.

Author: Italian Proverb Sayings of Italian Origin

"I believe in hypocrisy. Hypocrisy is the closest some of us come to being

a decent human being" Oily Brit dip in le Carre's "Small Town in Germany".

Our parents were terrified that, should America resort to military force abroad, they would be nuked; we are even more scared that our lethality will earn us the parlor disdain of the French and Germans. The terrorists are assured that the Western press is obsessed with Abu Ghraib, but not at all with Saddam's necropolis or their own slaughter of innocents. They suspect that those who endured Omaha and Utah or scaled Suribachi are long sleeping in their graves, and that a few thousand creeps in Fallujah scare us more than a quarter million in the Bulge did our parents. -- Victor Davis Hanson

"I believe in hypocrisy. Hypocrisy is the closest some of us come to being

a decent human being" Oily Brit dip in le Carre's "Small Town in Germany".

This is fab, love it!