Why Is It So Difficult To Find A Good Friend In Thailand

[samsiam]

2 Overseas Thais are in the top tiny percentage of their gene pool

Really ??....do they float ??

[BigJohnnyBKK]

I kind of see your point here , but can also see why some(..them.. ) may infer a sense of elitism from your implications.

Gee you think? I'd go so far as to say he's proud of his explicitly elitist attitude, thinks it puts him a cut above the other elite that are just subconscious snobs 8-)

Go away people. Leave me alone. Simply having fair skin and blue eyes does not give you the right to invade my life.

I already have enough friends. I don't need any more.

Obviously you're within your "rights" to feel this way, but I've got to say I feel sorry for you and anyone you might blow off if you're so boorish as to actually come out and say something like this.

[Semper]

Go away people. Leave me alone. Simply having fair skin and blue eyes does not give you the right to invade my life.

.

Would large breasts make a difference

If the rest of the body is 'normal', yes.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Really ??....do they float ??

OK, more accurately:

2 Overseas Thais would see each other as being in the top tiny percentage of their gene pool

[DLock]

I would think that 2 Thai's that spotted each other in the West would say hello, or have a conversation, but farangs in Thailand seem to do all they can to not acknowledge the other guy.

1 Thais have much stronger national/tribal bonding than even say a couple taffs, much less farangs from completely different cultures, only a little DNA in common.

2 Overseas Thais are in the top tiny percentage of their gene pool and can assume it's worthwhile at least exploring the possibility of a friendship, while many farangs here not so much, may even be on the slippery slope to irrecoverably last-legs down and out, or even a crim on the run.

Yeah, you are right. My analogy was poorly thought through.

Two Thai's that happen to meet up in a Walmart in Wisconsin is highly unlikely and therefore conversation worthy.

Two random white guys in a Big C in Chiang Mai....not so much.

[garrya]

Guesthouse, I dont get why the guy launched into a tirade against you. I might just be being thick, but the 3 questions he asked seem quite normal, or am I abnormal. Anyway anyone want to fill me in?

Regarding the op, I think that expats are are funny bunch. Many will completely blank me as I say hello or pretend they didnt here. I have a running joke with my wife that whenever we see a farang and he sees me that he will look at the floor immediately. Are they all international criminals. At this point I must point out that I dont live in an area with lots of farang. One guy was even behind me in the queue in Tesco's and ignored me and looked at everything he could, except my way. Maybe I'm scary looking or such an arsehol_e that people know not to talk to me.

Many farang I've met like to turn every conversation into a pissing contest. One guy would always tell me whatever I bought was shit and that his was the best........and I mean everything fridge, sofa, car, even said to me, 'my wife speaks better english than yours'.

I wonder why so many farang see each other as direct competition??

MJJ, I have noticed this behavior.

It's like every farang where I live wants to be the "..only gay in the village..." (from Little Britain).

I must admit I do not go out of my way to initiate conversation with random farang, but in places like Big C or Tesco the behavior you note is consistent.

I would think that 2 Thai's that spotted each other in the West would say hello, or have a conversation, but farangs in Thailand seem to do all they can to not acknowledge the other guy.

It's odd....but it does mean I rarely have to endure meaningless conversations about things I care less about.

There is probably 4 or 5 guys on Thaivisa that I think I'd like to meet in real life...and 2 of those I'd probably meet just to slap silly.

Wrong, Thai people would not say hi just because they pass each other in a western country. Some would some would not.

Mjj, you are spot on, that is just an instinctive demeanour. We often don`t like competitions.

[samsiam]

Really ??....do they float ??

OK, more accurately:

2 Overseas Thais would see each other as being in the top tiny percentage of their gene pool

Really ??....even the ones from Pattaya ??

[mjj]

Yes, why?

You are male right ??

If yes....can you send me some photos ??

With or without the butt plug??

I don't see the sense of butt plugs.

[mjj]

Yes, why?

You are male right ??

If yes....can you send me some photos ??

With or without the butt plug??

I don't see the sense of butt plugs.

It stops the seepage.

[chrisinth]

Hi TQM,

It’s a bit of a nightmare isn’t it?

Actually, no it's not a bit of a nightmare.

I'd call it self-indulgent and maudling, but not a nightmare.

I think people need to get a grip and stop being so sentimental. What has happened to stoicism? Have we all become Americans?

I lost the "Stiff Upper Lip" years ago.

It was still OK to sip cups of tea, but gets in the way when you gulp mugs of coffee

[chrisinth]

I wear name tags at parties.

Progression from my "Return if Found to:" neck sign...........

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Really ??....even the ones from Pattaya ??

Hey they got out didn't they?

And in that case they have a lot more in common than just DNA and passports, they'd have to compare notes on their booty.

[Beetlejuice]

. Also taking into consideration that back then it was much more difficult for those of little wealth to come and settle in Thailand because the Immigration regulations were much tighter enforced, so as a whole, the farangs that moved here in them days, were higher educated, financially better off

I kind of see your point here , but can also see why some(..them.. ) may infer a sense of elitism from your implications.

ps I have a degree and a Post Office savings account

I was employed by a PR company based in Spain for over 35 years, most of my assignments where within South East Asia. I was on legal contracts to work in South East Asia and in Thailand.

Have now fully retired on a generous pension and a healthy bank account, can live with peace of mind in Thailand 100% legal with no concerns or the need to look over my shoulder to see who is watching me. I can walk into Immigration once a year for my visa extension and all done within 20 minutes. I am by no means rich, but do believe I did everything the right way and for this reason I feel quite proud of myself, so I’m blowing my own trumpet here.

If on my travels and I happen to meet other ex-pats that have the need to run over the borders every 5 minutes, work in bars paying the police beer money so as to convince them they’re not really there, struggling to keep they’re Thai girl friends from the underclass’s of Thai society content and happy, hoping to find any job, doing anything to support themselves here, than I have to ask myself, do I truly want to become involved and socialise with them? And the answer is no. Why? Because I don`t need to.

Call it elitism, snobbery or what you like, but the worst that can happen is that those sorts wont like me. So what, I certainly would not lose any sleep over that, plus I know there are plenty more living in similar situations as myself in Thailand and will think the same way. So I am being straight and up front with you regarding how it really is. Some may respect that and some may not, either way it makes no difference to me.

[edwinclapham]

Its not necessarily the lack of conversation part that I find odd. Its just the simple smile or hello. As for the looking at the floor, they act like a small child that has been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. If someone doesnt want to acknowledge me, thats fine and ok, granted I find that behaviour a trifle weird, but to shy away from me is .................erm, well, not normal.

Or are they just really insecure and shy?

Coming from a quaint English village where people do greet you, ask about your nan & pops etc etc. Where the local Dr. & Dentist have known you from a babe in arms, I am so used to smiling, waving and having a pint down the locals with friends and acquaintances.

There is nothing that I want from the westerner and I am sure it works both ways, but if I was to go around like some suspicious cynical old fool life would have little meaning for me.

IMO, many of the " ex pat farang" think themselves so elitist commencing from the airport from whence they came. Their air of superiority goes before them, as though they are the only westerner to have discovered the east, empty vessels, selfish with very few manners.

I have more respect for the backpacker who maintains an open mind, who can converse to all and sundry than some of the doddery self opinionated idiots I see around the place. The latter have nothing in my opinion and of course their very thoughts are portrayed onto their wives and children who have always been a nation of sharers which I find very sad indeed.

"Or are they just really insecure and shy .. Insecure, & arrogant but not shy more often than not. Unfortunately they have brought their curtain twitching bitterness from their mother country and are totally blinkered to the beauty that surrounds them.

[phutoie2]

You wouldnt initiate conversation with random men back home, so why do it here

So never been in a pub, working mans club, golf, rugby, hockey club etc where complete strangers do strike up a conversation with each other.

I recognize your type, head down in the shopping trolley when farangs pass in the supermarket aisle. Your not alone.

[bendix]

There are some interesting observations here regarding striking up conversations with other farang you see around.

The obvious question is 'why?'

You wouldnt initiate conversation with random men back home, so why do it here, simply because they are the same race as you. It's no different from saying that you should initiate contact and strike up a conversation with people wearing the same colour teeshirt.

I'd take it further. If anyone randomly strikes up conversation with me, I make it a point to be very wary. If they are farang in Thailand, even more so.

Go away people. Leave me alone. Simply having fair skin and blue eyes does not give you the right to invade my life.

.

Maybe some of us are more civilised and polite and see nothing wrong with a friendly hello. That friendly hello is not an interrogation. No-one is applying thumbscrews to force you into a conversation.

Don't do it back home? Why ever not?

So let me get this right. Back home you nod and say hello to every white male you see walking around? You must get some very strange looks.

My point is a simple one. That they are the same race as you, doesn't automatically equate to some kind of affinity. Usually, frankly, it's the exact opposite.

[samsiam]

I'll be your friend Quietman....and I'll be good.

[bendix]

I kind of see your point here , but can also see why some(..them.. ) may infer a sense of elitism from your implications.

Gee you think? I'd go so far as to say he's proud of his explicitly elitist attitude, thinks it puts him a cut above the other elite that are just subconscious snobs 8-)

Go away people. Leave me alone. Simply having fair skin and blue eyes does not give you the right to invade my life.

I already have enough friends. I don't need any more.

Obviously you're within your "rights" to feel this way, but I've got to say I feel sorry for you and anyone you might blow off if you're so boorish as to actually come out and say something like this.

You're putting words into my mouoth. I would never be so crass as to say something like that and nowhere intimated that I would.

But I appreciate your pity nonetheless. Can we be friend? You seem nice.

[edwinclapham]

There are some interesting observations here regarding striking up conversations with other farang you see around.

The obvious question is 'why?'

You wouldnt initiate conversation with random men back home, so why do it here, simply because they are the same race as you. It's no different from saying that you should initiate contact and strike up a conversation with people wearing the same colour teeshirt.

I'd take it further. If anyone randomly strikes up conversation with me, I make it a point to be very wary. If they are farang in Thailand, even more so.

Go away people. Leave me alone. Simply having fair skin and blue eyes does not give you the right to invade my life.

.

Maybe some of us are more civilised and polite and see nothing wrong with a friendly hello. That friendly hello is not an interrogation. No-one is applying thumbscrews to force you into a conversation.

Don't do it back home? Why ever not?

So let me get this right. Back home you nod and say hello to every white male you see walking around? You must get some very strange looks.

My point is a simple one. That they are the same race as you, doesn't automatically equate to some kind of affinity. Usually, frankly, it's the exact opposite.

Actually here in Oz most people greet you. Simples! Its not an "affinity" its common decency to say g'day!

One of the reasons I love the country, easy to assimilate into!

Must say its a new one on me "visa snobbery". My Father holds the retirement visa but I find him no better or worse than the visa holder who has to jump to the latest immigration rules be it every 12 weeks or whatever.

Now I have heard everything.

God forbid what the thought pattern is on guys holding a freebie 30 day stay ... oh yes scumbag backpackers isnt it?

[bendix]

You wouldnt initiate conversation with random men back home, so why do it here

So never been in a pub, working mans club, golf, rugby, hockey club etc where complete strangers do strike up a conversation with each other.

I recognize your type, head down in the shopping trolley when farangs pass in the supermarket aisle. Your not alone.

Apples and oranges.

If you're in a pub or some such environment, it is a social setting where you expect and - most likely - welcome such social niceties.

A supermarket (the most commonly used example here) is people going about their normal private business. I see nothing whatsoever wrong with assuming a degree of privacy while I'm choosing which butter to buy this week with my wife, without being expected to exhange niceties with some idiot in a discoloured 'No Money No Honey teeshirt simple because he shares the same racial characteristics as me (and another 2 billion people worldwide).

[samsiam]

I see nothing whatsoever wrong with assuming a degree of privacy while I'm choosing which butter to buy this week

Or condoms....nothing worse than a guy looking over your shoulder and sayin 'hi' while you are trying to figure out the size.

[wana]

I see nothing whatsoever wrong with assuming a degree of privacy while I'm choosing which butter to buy this week

Or condoms....nothing worse than a guy looking over your shoulder and sayin 'hi' while you are trying to figure out the size.

should always ask the female staff for help when choosing condoms of the right size .......even if they cant help its usually entertaining

[buhi]

I tend to agree with Bendix on this.

Part of the problem is the "farang" bit. I am English and as such we are rather less outgoing than the colonials and Yanks.

Also is it really a question of making friends in Thailand or just " Why is it difficult to make REAL friends.

Most of us make acquaintances at work or with our neighbours, not with total strangers who share our apparent similarities.

As you get older the less new friends you make or need.

My life is home family centred, my neighbours (Thai) are acquaintances with whom I enjoy a chat. Is that any different to life in England?

Why expect something that does not exist. If you want superficial acquaintances outside of work, who are farangs you need to be in a farang ghetto, try Pattaya or the Silom /Sukumwit area of Bangkok.

At my old age not to my taste.

[GarryP]

Not one of the people I made acquaintance with when I first came to Thailand still lives here. In fact all of the foreigners I have known on a friendly basis since I first came to Thailand have since moved on. You start to think "Why bother?"

[bendix]

I see nothing whatsoever wrong with assuming a degree of privacy while I'm choosing which butter to buy this week

Or condoms....nothing worse than a guy looking over your shoulder and sayin 'hi' while you are trying to figure out the size.

That is simply solved. I just buy my regular gross of 'Tiny' size but make sure one token pack of 'Extra Large Jumbo' size is at the top of the pile when I go to check out.

Once home, I find the XL pack can be used as decorative balloons. It seems a shame to throw them away.

[bendix]

Must say its a new one on me "visa snobbery". My Father holds the retirement visa but I find him no better or worse than the visa holder who has to jump to the latest immigration rules be it every 12 weeks or whatever.

Now I have heard everything.

God forbid what the thought pattern is on guys holding a freebie 30 day stay ... oh yes scumbag backpackers isnt it?

With the greatest of respect, you're the only person who has raised the issue of visa snobbery. Im not sure what your point is.

[MediumPaceBowler]

You wouldnt initiate conversation with random men back home, so why do it here, simply because they are the same race as you.

Go away people. Leave me alone. Simply having fair skin and blue eyes does not give you the right to invade my life.

If someone of your own race had approached you in Africa back in the 1870s and said "Dr Bendix, I presume?", what would you have done?

[bendix]

You wouldnt initiate conversation with random men back home, so why do it here, simply because they are the same race as you.

Go away people. Leave me alone. Simply having fair skin and blue eyes does not give you the right to invade my life.

If someone of your own race had approached you in Africa back in the 1870s and said "Dr Bendix, I presume?", what would you have done?

Told them to mind their own business, pushed past them muttering 'damned cheek of the fool' under my breath, and carried on with my life without a second thought.

Why do you ask?

[MediumPaceBowler]

You wouldnt initiate conversation with random men back home, so why do it here, simply because they are the same race as you.

Go away people. Leave me alone. Simply having fair skin and blue eyes does not give you the right to invade my life.

If someone of your own race had approached you in Africa back in the 1870s and said "Dr Bendix, I presume?", what would you have done?

Told them to mind their own business, pushed past them muttering 'damned cheek of the fool' under my breath, and carried on with my life without a second thought.

Why do you ask?

Very good! I like that. I have to go out now. Have a nice day.

[edwinclapham]

Must say its a new one on me "visa snobbery". My Father holds the retirement visa but I find him no better or worse than the visa holder who has to jump to the latest immigration rules be it every 12 weeks or whatever.

Now I have heard everything.

God forbid what the thought pattern is on guys holding a freebie 30 day stay ... oh yes scumbag backpackers isnt it?

With the greatest of respect, you're the only person who has raised the issue of visa snobbery. Im not sure what your point is.

This was pertaining to BeetleJuice's post //103.