Marriage In Thailand,The Good And The Bad.

[thenervoussurgeon]

I have read many posts here on Thai visa and others on other forums ,many are where some poor sod has been ripped off ,i have met guys that have suffered this fate and i have also read a post on here where a daughter is trying to find out what happened to her beloved father and my thoughts go out to her .

Most of these tales start "i met a girl in a bar" now i know that there are marriages to bar girls that work ,a good friend of mine married one 25 years ago and they are very happy(i believe) none of us knows what goes on behind closed doors , dont think i am against bar girs ,i have known many and i liked them ,but marry them ,no thanks not unless i had known her for a very long time and she had left the bar scene for all that time.

Most prostitutes ,for that is what they are ,no matter how you dress it up are in it because basically they are to lazy to do a proper job and want easy money,so they really do not make the best marriage material ,settling down to the job of looking after a husband ,cleaning and cooking and looking after the kids methinks.

Anyway after 20 odd years having a buisness here ,being married here and having a child here the happiest and longest lasting marriages i know are with guys who have lived here and married women from jobs not connected with bar work .

Am i right or do any of you in your heart of hearts thik that i am wrong?

[transam]

How old was your lady when you met ?

[arthurwait]

[Huayrat]

Your not against bargirls so why does your post slag them off then...

[Huayrat]

Just another bargirl slagging off thread.. close the topic please MOD... Just an insult to many men who have married a bargirl and are perfectly happy..

[transam]

Don't think it should be closed. NOBODY knows what a ladies previous life was. What happens to farangland pros and lap dancers when things go south ? They get married, yes, most live a ''normal'' life. Why should LOS be different. The rip offs are there but my ex UK mrs did the same stuff after 25 years together. Everything in life is a risk, but have the balls to take your risk.

[thenervoussurgeon]

How old was your lady when you met ?

she was 31. 18 years ago

Huayrat .

i did say there are happy marriages to bar girls ,dont get paranoid .

what i am saying is that most of the horror stories start "i met a girl in a bar"

[TommoPhysicist]

I suffered almost exactly the same as Transam back in the west (she was 19, I was 21 when we met)

@the OP

I think you're wrong.

The relationships that fail fall into mainly two categories as far as I can see.

Cat 1) Guys that are so unpleasant, no marriage would work even if the lady was a saint.

Cat 2) Guys that hand their wallets over to the lady, it's all soon gone, the lady can get nothing more, so out they go.

I really don't see the bargirl = marriage failure signs that so many claim.

(maybe they claim that as their girl didn't work in a bar and therefore their marriage can't fail)

Edited July 31, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[thenervoussurgeon]

I suffered almost exactly the same as Transam back in the west (she was 19, I was 21 when we met)

@the OP

I think you're wrong.

The relationships that fail fall into mainly two categories as far as I can see.

Cat 1) Guys that are so unpleasant, no marriage would work even if the lady was a saint.

Cat 2) Guys that hand their wallets over to the lady, it's all soon gone, the lady can get nothing more, so out they go.

I really don't see the bargirl = marriage failure signs that so many claim.

(maybe they claim that as their girl didn't work in a bar and therefore their marriage can't fail)

My first wife in Britain never went near a bar and was a virgin ,that bloody failed

[transam]

How old was your lady when you met ?

she was 31. 18 years ago

Huayrat .

i did say there are happy marriages to bar girls ,dont get paranoid .

what i am saying is that most of the horror stories start "i met a girl in a bar"

Not quite how l read it. Am sure you know that you do not know what your mrs did in her younger days, though your life is perfect, nobody knows what l got up to in my younger days. . No, l'm not a girl.

[chrisinth]

I know of a certain gentleman who is still happily married after 32 years to an ex-bargirl. He has just turned 81 last year and to see the two of them you would never know! For those of you that say you can take the girl from the bar but never take the bar from the girl; you may well be right.

But I would rather be in the company of someone who had their senses about them; a sense of humour and common sense than not................

[thenervoussurgeon]

How old was your lady when you met ?

she was 31. 18 years ago

Huayrat .

i did say there are happy marriages to bar girls ,dont get paranoid .

what i am saying is that most of the horror stories start "i met a girl in a bar"

Not quite how l read it. Am sure you know that you do not know what your mrs did in her younger days, though your life is perfect, nobody knows what l got up to in my younger days. . No, l'm not a girl.

She was married ,her Thai husband died ( i have seen the death certificate ,we needed it when we lived in the UK )

I lived in London in the 60s so you can guess what i got up to

[thenervoussurgeon]

I know of a certain gentleman who is still happily married after 32 years to an ex-bargirl. He has just turned 81 last year and to see the two of them you would never know! For those of you that say you can take the girl from the bar but never take the bar from the girl; you may well be right.

But I would rather be in the company of someone who had their senses about them; a sense of humour and common sense than not................

Oh you can take the bar from out of the girl ,i know one who is married ,wealthy and is so respectable it hurts ,she now lives in the UK .

[transam]

How old was your lady when you met ?

she was 31. 18 years ago

Huayrat .

i did say there are happy marriages to bar girls ,dont get paranoid .

what i am saying is that most of the horror stories start "i met a girl in a bar"

Not quite how l read it. Am sure you know that you do not know what your mrs did in her younger days, though your life is perfect, nobody knows what l got up to in my younger days. . No, l'm not a girl.

She was married ,her Thai husband died ( i have seen the death certificate ,we needed it when we lived in the UK )

I lived in London in the 60s so you can guess what i got up to

Me toooooooooooooo.

[TommoPhysicist]

I lived in London in the 60s so you can guess what i got up to

Me toooooooooooooo.

Me tooooooooo

(I'm sure we all watched Dr. Who, followed by Z-cars on our B&W tellys every saturday night)

(Does everyone remember Saturday morning pictures at the ABC)

Edited July 31, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[GuestHouse]

Damaged goods hooking up with more damaged goods (AKA the dregs of the west meet the dregs of the east). Result = More Damage.

Shock Horror!!!

[thenervoussurgeon]

I lived in London in the 60s so you can guess what i got up to

Me toooooooooooooo.

Me tooooooooo

(I'm sure we all watched Dr. Who, followed by Z-cars on our B&W tellys every saturday night)

(Does everyone remember Saturday morning pictures at the ABC)

Saturday night was for going to the round house in Camden to see the gratefull dead ect.

[arthurwait]

I suffered almost exactly the same as Transam back in the west (she was 19, I was 21 when we met)

@the OP

I think you're wrong.

The relationships that fail fall into mainly two categories as far as I can see.

Cat 1) Guys that are so unpleasant, no marriage would work even if the lady was a saint.

Cat 2) Guys that hand their wallets over to the lady, it's all soon gone, the lady can get nothing more, so out they go.

I really don't see the bargirl = marriage failure signs that so many claim.

(maybe they claim that as their girl didn't work in a bar and therefore their marriage can't fail)

My first wife in Britain never went near a bar and was a virgin ,that bloody failed

There's a joke in there somewhere that would get removed.

[GuestHouse]

Me tooooooooo

(I'm sure we all watched Dr. Who, followed by Z-cars on our B&W tellys every saturday night)

(Does everyone remember Saturday morning pictures at the ABC)

I remember Saturday Cinemma Club, and I remember them tossing bags of sweets from the stage to the kids, and why it was never my birthday, and catching a mole and seeing how its fur looked like the curtains in the cinema, and then looking at rhe curtains in the cinema and thinking how many moles did they use to make those curtains.

When I was a child, I thought as a child.

Edited July 31, 2012 by GuestHouse

[arthurwait]

Don't think it should be closed. NOBODY knows what a ladies previous life was. What happens to farangland pros and lap dancers when things go south ? They get married, yes, most live a ''normal'' life. Why should LOS be different. The rip offs are there but my ex UK mrs did the same stuff after 25 years together. Everything in life is a risk, but have the balls to take your risk.

I think most farangs think of pros and ex-pros in their own country the same as most Thais do here, they wouldn't touch them with yours. Council flats and benefits are more likely. That or OD's or marrying gulliable old rock stars.

[norrona]

living in the UK and being married to a Thai lady for nearly 2 years now I go to my wifes friends houses for bbq's parties from time to time with an array of Thai ladies who all work in the same factory, some are ex-bar and some are ex university/office workers and together I have seen them and you couldn't tell them apart to be fair, I understand a lot more thai than I can speak these days and have ear wigged the conversations and theres nothing sinister going on as far as I know...one thing I will comment on is the age differences are quite tight in comparisson to the horror stories we hear about with an old man in his 60's with a woman in her 20's and how he dies in suspicious circumstances and she is in a will...the age differences are 10-15 years max.

I met my wife online, holidayed in Pattaya as being a single fella that's what suited me, she wasn't working in a bar but thats not to say she'd never done that, we both said to each other what's in the past is in the past as believe me theres no way I can judge after living/working in Pattaya for the best part of 8 years as a single man...I know men in the UK that won't let their wives out of their sight married to thai ladies, these girls are desperate for a night out with other girls and I think unless it changes things will go sour in that relationship...I even know of a lady who came to the UK with her son and her husband wouldn't relax and let her do anything on her own, not even go to the shops, he used to lock her in the house when he went to work...she now lives back in Thailand with her son after refusing to board the plane on their last trip back....

so many avenues to go down on this....

[transam]

Don't think it should be closed. NOBODY knows what a ladies previous life was. What happens to farangland pros and lap dancers when things go south ? They get married, yes, most live a ''normal'' life. Why should LOS be different. The rip offs are there but my ex UK mrs did the same stuff after 25 years together. Everything in life is a risk, but have the balls to take your risk.

I think most farangs think of pros and ex-pros in their own country the same as most Thais do here, they wouldn't touch them with yours. Council flats and benefits are more likely. That or OD's or marrying gulliable old rock stars.

My point is, nobody knows about ones past, and sure most don't care if love is involved. Of course there are folk out there who don't know what love is or are incapable of feeling it. BUT, some of us can, ME.

[DrTuner]

"i met a girl in a bar" is a precursor to failure ? Could be, judging from the men that frequent most bars Two sides of a coin, eh ?

[IMA_FARANG]

I married a bargirl. That was 32 years ago. Still married to the same woman.

Most prostitutes ,for that is what they are ,no matter how you dress it up are in it because basically they are to lazy to do a proper job and want easy money,so they really do not make the best marriage material ,settling down to the job of looking after a husband ,cleaning and cooking and looking after the kids methinks.

My wife was married to her first husband when she was 18 years old.

He was a Thai/Aussie dual national from a well off Thai family. Her mother worked for that family as a cook when she was young....and she grew up playing with that guy when she was young.

After 5 years of marriage he left her without any money to live on.....and 3 kids he refused to support.

So she went to work in a bar. I met her when she was 27.

Her first husband ended up face down drunk in his own vomit in a flophouse in Austrailia...not a cent to his name and his relatives in Thailand had already given up on him as a hopeless alchoholic.

I know this is true...I've seen the Aussie police report on his death. Had to get that police report so I could prove her first marriage was "terminated" so she could re-marry legally

I knew her for about two years before she finally agreed to getting married....that first marriage ending hurt her pretty bad...and she wasn't going to get hurt again.

She now has 3 grown children....2 boys and one girl. Her daughter is married and there is one grand daughter...who is going to university soon.

Her whole life was always dedicated to those 3 kids...who all work and help with the household expenses,

We're both in our 60's now....I'm retired and on a pension...living here in Bangkok.

True (bargirl) story.

[NanLaew]

The OP's title is expansive, "Marriage in Thailand" but in reality, it's just another "was your wife a ho'?" thread. This will draw on the 'usual suspects' to restate their opinions ad nauseum for nothing more than upping their post count or the mutual dispensing of 'likes'. Then there will be the noisome, vulgar but curiously experienced Newbies shrieking their misogyny before being slapped with (yet another) ban.

I mean are there really any other types of marriage in LOS beyond the smart farang ajarn with the rich, educated Sino-Thai businesswoman living in Bangkok and the dumb, fat, balding, ex-sexpat with the ting tong, cheating, Isaan Princess living in Pattaya? Are there? Honestly?

Edited July 31, 2012 by NanLaew

[arthurwait]

Don't think it should be closed. NOBODY knows what a ladies previous life was. What happens to farangland pros and lap dancers when things go south ? They get married, yes, most live a ''normal'' life. Why should LOS be different. The rip offs are there but my ex UK mrs did the same stuff after 25 years together. Everything in life is a risk, but have the balls to take your risk.

I think most farangs think of pros and ex-pros in their own country the same as most Thais do here, they wouldn't touch them with yours. Council flats and benefits are more likely. That or OD's or marrying gulliable old rock stars.

My point is, nobody knows about ones past, and sure most don't care if love is involved. Of course there are folk out there who don't know what love is or are incapable of feeling it. BUT, some of us can, ME.

Ok, me lover.

[NBD]

So you mean marrying a hooker might not lead to happily ever after marriage? This is quite a revelation.

Maybe if the guy in question gets pissed out of his mind every day and goes whoring regularly something can be salvaged? So long as he steadfastly refuses to learn any Thai.

Edited July 31, 2012 by NBD

[maxme]

So you mean marrying a hooker might not lead to happily ever after marriage? This is quite a revelation.

Maybe if the guy in question gets pissed out of his mind every day and goes whoring regularly something can be salvaged? So long as he steadfastly refuses to learn any Thai.

And the moral sense of this story is...

[DrTuner]

And the moral sense of this story is...

Ask the internet council of Thailand experts first before marrying anyone ? I'm really bad with them moral thingies, had to take a wild guess..

[arthurwait]

The OP's title is expansive, "Marriage in Thailand" but in reality, it's just another "was your wife a ho'?" thread. This will draw on the 'usual suspects' to restate their opinions ad nauseum for nothing more than upping their post count or the mutual dispensing of 'likes'. Then there will be the noisome, vulgar but curiously experienced Newbies shrieking their misogyny before being slapped with (yet another) ban.

I mean are there really any other types of marriage in LOS beyond the smart farang ajarn with the rich, educated Sino-Thai businesswoman living in Bangkok and the dumb, fat, balding, ex-sexpat with the ting tong, cheating, Isaan Princess living in Pattaya? Are there? Honestly?

I'm not an ajarn and don't live in Bangkok.