Used And Abused Or Just Stupidity? How Would You Have Handled The Situation?

[Semper]

Lesson learnt. Eat and drink at home. If inviting friends, tell them to bring their own stuff.

[Bangkokhatter]

Definately abused, had a similar situation where i just worked out what i thought was a fair amount and gave that. Why are people even talking about the tip ? nothing to do with the OP.

[lovelomsak]

It is times like that I would act like a confused old man unable to understand why I an invited quest needs to pay. I woudnot address the man but my wife and anyone else there that speaks english.I would simply act confused not angry or hurt just confused.I would go as far as bring out my wallet after much confused talk and ask does he want me to pay for what my wife and I ate? Or something like How much do I owe 500 baht?The idea being is to stall and have the situation develop, with hopes of embarrassing the guy to say never mind.

[chrisinth]

Thais normally tip 20 baht irrespective of how much the bill.

Was the service good, is that not what a tip should be based on? no one has mentioned that. Here in Thailand a tip is expected even if the service is poor - how's that work?

That is a bit of a general statement that Thais only tip 20 baht; I certainly haven't found that to be the case, even if it isn't on company expenses.

Tipping in Thailand is not compulsory, it is up to the individual. But the customer should also realize that service charges are usually not added to the bill in normal bars and restaurants. The tip subsidises the restaurant/bar workers wages, especially if the worker is part time employed. Different places have different ways to distribute the tips, the normal method being that the tips go into a communal collection and divided out at the end of the night/week/month.

But at the end of the day, it is up to the customer. This normally has bearing as to how they are treated on their next visit.............

[Berkshire]

Beetledude, you're right to feel taken advantage of because you were. It's a social decorum thing that shouldn't have to be taught. Your friend should have clearly seen that you were an invited guest to his family gathering. You don't invite someone so they can foot half the freakin bill. Just rude and plain uncool.

[Berkshire]

Your ex friend has lived in Thailand too long and gone half- native.

Many times in the past, I have been invited out by Thais and then been annoyed to get stuck with the bill. If invited out by a farang, though, I would expect him to pick up the tab, especially when his party is 9 and yours only 2.

Like you, I would have probably paid up, not wishing to cause a scene, but I would not be happy about it.

Such an idiotic comment and so typical of the Thai-basher mentality. This thread has NOTHING to do with the Thais, yet, you manage to find a way to attack the Thais. Shame on you.

[robblok]

I would not have accepted it, if im invited i pay may share but im not going to pay for others. Then again making a scene is never nice but we are not talking small money here.

[Kananga]

Sounds to me like he wanted to impress his sister by appearing to be flush with money but in reality has money troubles. Probably using paying for lunch to sweeten her up for a 'business proposal' just before she goes back.

[hedonist44]

I'm entertained by the fact that the tip has become the story TV is amazing

SO!!!......how much should the tip have been then?

I for one was not all that bothered by the fact he got screwed by his friend

You sound very nice, just the type of person the OP got screwed over by no doubt

Not at all. I just don't hang with people who would even think of doing that to "a friend" so it doesn't bother me when it does happen to someone else and they have to run to the forum to cry about it. But nice try on the personal attack

[Mosha]

You'll need to edit your first sentence it's not very clear......

Setting that to the side......and before the trolls rush in......you are right to be angry and disappointed. As far as I can see you were a guest at a family do, there is no way that you should have been expected to pick up half the bill.

It's a matter of simple courtesy......you were invited to meet the sister which you duly did, as you say the ambience and company was very convivial, and things were going great. When the bill appeared it would have been polite to volunteer to contribute however that offer should have been rebuffed by your friend who should have picked the whole tab in my opinion.

I have no doubt that you would have happily invited the sister, your friend and his partner out at a future date where you would have been the host and borne the cost, and happily have done so.

It's been very poor etiquette and judgement on the part of your friend, and you are right to be angered and disappointed.

Thanks, blethy, I have amended my first line.

My wife and I discussed this tonight and decided that my friend is now an ex-friend and will just let him fade away without anymore contact. If he invites us out again, we will just give an excuse and perhaps the guy will get the hint.

As for the tip, my friend decided to give 50 baht and I throw in another 50 baht. Usually I would have given more than that, but I wasn`t thinking straight from the spur of moment shock of parting with all that cash and wondering; <deleted> is happening here?

Why make an excuse? Just say no thanks and put the phone down.

[Ohyesuare]

You should have just said I will pay for what my wife and I ate, if you weren't planning to continue to be his friend who cares what any of them think?

[VintageTQ]

Your ex friend has lived in Thailand too long and gone half- native.

Many times in the past, I have been invited out by Thais and then been annoyed to get stuck with the bill. If invited out by a farang, though, I would expect him to pick up the tab, especially when his party is 9 and yours only 2.

Like you, I would have probably paid up, not wishing to cause a scene, but I would not be happy about it.

Such an idiotic comment and so typical of the Thai-basher mentality. This thread has NOTHING to do with the Thais, yet, you manage to find a way to attack the Thais. Shame on you.

I think what Loong has said is still relevant to the post and unfortunately it is very true. In my experience also, Thais (unless we are talking about the wealthier types) will generally not put their hands in their pockets when out with Farangs. They just dont. Fact

[Kananga]

Your ex friend has lived in Thailand too long and gone half- native.

Many times in the past, I have been invited out by Thais and then been annoyed to get stuck with the bill. If invited out by a farang, though, I would expect him to pick up the tab, especially when his party is 9 and yours only 2.

Like you, I would have probably paid up, not wishing to cause a scene, but I would not be happy about it.

Such an idiotic comment and so typical of the Thai-basher mentality. This thread has NOTHING to do with the Thais, yet, you manage to find a way to attack the Thais. Shame on you.

I think what Loong has said is still relevant to the post and unfortunately it is very true. In my experience also, Thais (unless we are talking about the wealthier types) will generally not put their hands in their pockets when out with Farangs. They just dont. Fact

Yep, I'll agree with that. Very rare indeed. And as we are talking about paying for restaurant bills in Thai restaurants in Thailand I would say very relevant.

[bkkjames]

I thinking tipping 50 baht on a 9000 baht bill is over the top.

it was 50 Baht each, the OP wrote, so a 100 Baht tip for a 9000+ Baht restaurant bill is KHEE NIEOW !!! VERY annoyingly small a tip for those who worked all night to keep your mood in full swing !

I use to count how many staff are whizzing around to serve our table and never give less than 40 BHT for each of them on a diner the OP described.

Rubbish - this is half a nights wages - this ain't the USA.

50 baht is a very nice tip.

You my good sir are the reason why Service Charges were invented lol

[ihunnieibee]

I think the OP mentioned this was a posh restaurant. I'm pretty sure their service charge was already included so you guys can just drop the 50 baht thing already

I don't like when people assume that I'm ready to pay for their meal because I'm farang. I'm a broke student and some of these kids at my school have parents giving them tons of money, my parents give me nothing!!

My social life isn't what it used to be but I sure do save a lot of money now

[tinfoilhat]

14 people, 9120 baht, 651 baht per head. Hardly exorbitant.

what strikes meas odd is that you have known the guy for 12 years and did not have the balls to say anything and are now nursing a grudge on the internet.

Perhaps your friend over estimated you.

[Berkshire]

Your ex friend has lived in Thailand too long and gone half- native.

Many times in the past, I have been invited out by Thais and then been annoyed to get stuck with the bill. If invited out by a farang, though, I would expect him to pick up the tab, especially when his party is 9 and yours only 2.

Like you, I would have probably paid up, not wishing to cause a scene, but I would not be happy about it.

Such an idiotic comment and so typical of the Thai-basher mentality. This thread has NOTHING to do with the Thais, yet, you manage to find a way to attack the Thais. Shame on you.

I think what Loong has said is still relevant to the post and unfortunately it is very true. In my experience also, Thais (unless we are talking about the wealthier types) will generally not put their hands in their pockets when out with Farangs. They just dont. Fact

No, it is absolutely not "fact," but complete BS. Why is it that all the Thai folks that I've had meals with, almost always, jump at the chance to pay, and/or contribute their share? And these are just normal Thais. It's not much different to the non-Thais that I've had meals with.

The problem on TV is that farangs here tend to hang out with friends and families of their lo-so peasant wives. If that's the case, you shouldn't be making disparaging remarks about the other 90%+ Thais who actually have manners.

[kaspercat]

First off, I read the dinner is at a restaurant at a upscale hotel. All hotel outlets charge 10-15% service charge already.

The 9100 bt bill should already have 1300 bt service charge.

There should be no need for additional cash tip unless you feel you received exceptional service.

Do an additional 100 bt tip is generous already.

[Kananga]

Your ex friend has lived in Thailand too long and gone half- native.

Many times in the past, I have been invited out by Thais and then been annoyed to get stuck with the bill. If invited out by a farang, though, I would expect him to pick up the tab, especially when his party is 9 and yours only 2.

Like you, I would have probably paid up, not wishing to cause a scene, but I would not be happy about it.

Such an idiotic comment and so typical of the Thai-basher mentality. This thread has NOTHING to do with the Thais, yet, you manage to find a way to attack the Thais. Shame on you.

I think what Loong has said is still relevant to the post and unfortunately it is very true. In my experience also, Thais (unless we are talking about the wealthier types) will generally not put their hands in their pockets when out with Farangs. They just dont. Fact

No, it is absolutely not "fact," but complete BS. Why is it that all the Thai folks that I've had meals with, almost always, jump at the chance to pay, and/or contribute their share? And these are just normal Thais. It's not much different to the non-Thais that I've had meals with.

The problem on TV is that farangs here tend to hang out with friends and families of their lo-so peasant wives. If that's the case, you shouldn't be making disparaging remarks about the other 90%+ Thais who actually have manners.

Maybe they think you're poorer than them? Do lo-so peasants make up 10% of the population? What is a lo-so peasant anyway? And does being a peasant automatically mean you assume they dont have manners?

[mauGR1]

You should have just said I will pay for what my wife and I ate, if you weren't planning to continue to be his friend who cares what any of them think?

Same here, i would have waited a couple of seconds and said loud and clear :- " So , did you invited me just to pay your bill ? "

I don't care if i embarass people who try to embarass me...That way you would have lost only 1 bad " friend " ,but the way you did, you lost him and the money too.

[theoldgit]

I'm entertained by the fact that the tip has become the story TV is amazing

SO!!!......how much should the tip have been then?

I suspect the bill was made up of the bill, + service + VAT, which probably means there was already a 780 Baht "tip" included, in which case I probably wouldn't have left a second tip.

I think Beetlejuice was treated pretty shabbily, and I hope his "friend" realises it in the cold light of day, maybe you should practice getting up from the table and making a quick exit in the event of future invites.

Edited August 22, 2012 by theoldgit

[loong]

Your ex friend has lived in Thailand too long and gone half- native.

Many times in the past, I have been invited out by Thais and then been annoyed to get stuck with the bill. If invited out by a farang, though, I would expect him to pick up the tab, especially when his party is 9 and yours only 2.

Like you, I would have probably paid up, not wishing to cause a scene, but I would not be happy about it.

Such an idiotic comment and so typical of the Thai-basher mentality. This thread has NOTHING to do with the Thais, yet, you manage to find a way to attack the Thais. Shame on you.

It's not Thai bashing, just a simple fact.

Note that the Swiss man didn't suggest to any of the Thais present that they contribute, just the OP. Possibly because he knew that he had no chance. In fact the OP actually points out that the majority of the Thais present fled the scene as soon as the bill arrived. Why didn't you pull up the OP on his bit of covert Thai-bashing?

[2unique]

Your ex friend has lived in Thailand too long and gone half- native.

Many times in the past, I have been invited out by Thais and then been annoyed to get stuck with the bill. If invited out by a farang, though, I would expect him to pick up the tab, especially when his party is 9 and yours only 2.

Like you, I would have probably paid up, not wishing to cause a scene, but I would not be happy about it.

Such an idiotic comment and so typical of the Thai-basher mentality. This thread has NOTHING to do with the Thais, yet, you manage to find a way to attack the Thais. Shame on you.

I think what Loong has said is still relevant to the post and unfortunately it is very true. In my experience also, Thais (unless we are talking about the wealthier types) will generally not put their hands in their pockets when out with Farangs. They just dont. Fact

No, it is absolutely not "fact," but complete BS. Why is it that all the Thai folks that I've had meals with, almost always, jump at the chance to pay, and/or contribute their share? And these are just normal Thais. It's not much different to the non-Thais that I've had meals with.

The problem on TV is that farangs here tend to hang out with friends and families of their lo-so peasant wives. If that's the case, you shouldn't be making disparaging remarks about the other 90%+ Thais who actually have manners.

i think it's an outrageous statement and not a fact at all - the only people that seem to expect a free lunch are bar girls, models and princesses. When responding to an invitation with your penis you will invariably get stuck with the bill. However if you cultivate your friends slightly more carefully you'll meet Thai teachers that will pay a whole bill, office girls that will split a check, family members that will treat you on your birthday. - (for you will read One will)

I come from a culture where the man pays and I'm constantly surprised by genuine and generous offers which i know costs them percentage wise a lot more than it costs me - its a shame you meet the flip side of that coin but it's by no means a fact that only the wealthy pay their way. Some wealthy people are amongst the stingiest I know when not trying to impress pussy...

Edited August 22, 2012 by 2unique

[Berkshire]

Your ex friend has lived in Thailand too long and gone half- native.

Many times in the past, I have been invited out by Thais and then been annoyed to get stuck with the bill. If invited out by a farang, though, I would expect him to pick up the tab, especially when his party is 9 and yours only 2.

Like you, I would have probably paid up, not wishing to cause a scene, but I would not be happy about it.

Such an idiotic comment and so typical of the Thai-basher mentality. This thread has NOTHING to do with the Thais, yet, you manage to find a way to attack the Thais. Shame on you.

It's not Thai bashing, just a simple fact.

Note that the Swiss man didn't suggest to any of the Thais present that they contribute, just the OP. Possibly because he knew that he had no chance. In fact the OP actually points out that the majority of the Thais present fled the scene as soon as the bill arrived. Why didn't you pull up the OP on his bit of covert Thai-bashing?

Well I just read the OP again. Other than the Swiss, there was no mention of nationalities whatsoever. Certainly no mention of Thais in attendance. And why? Because it would be completely irrelevant.

Do you even understand the point of this thread? It has nothing to do with the Thais.

[pattayadingo]

Maybe I am too cynical but I get the feeling you were invited along to help pay the bill. It sounds to me like they went over the top with the meal too but that also depends on what sort of social circles they move in. Yet so many others left the table so quickly and that was bad manners.

Yes, an offer to help pay the bill from you would be the courteous thing to do, but that offer should have been refused by your host. Personally I would have told the host I did not have that much money on me because I'd been invited out for the evening.

I think you and your wife's idea to distance yourself from this man is a good idea.

As an aside, I had a party with a then g/f and about 10 Thai friends and family at a restaurant and I paid the whole bill and would not have dreamt of asking for contributions. It was my party after all. Also the then g/f made sure nobody went over the top with their orders and we all had a great time.

[Berkshire]

I think what Loong has said is still relevant to the post and unfortunately it is very true. In my experience also, Thais (unless we are talking about the wealthier types) will generally not put their hands in their pockets when out with Farangs. They just dont. Fact

No, it is absolutely not "fact," but complete BS. Why is it that all the Thai folks that I've had meals with, almost always, jump at the chance to pay, and/or contribute their share? And these are just normal Thais. It's not much different to the non-Thais that I've had meals with.

The problem on TV is that farangs here tend to hang out with friends and families of their lo-so peasant wives. If that's the case, you shouldn't be making disparaging remarks about the other 90%+ Thais who actually have manners.

i think it's an outrageous statement and not a fact at all - the only people that seem to expect a free lunch are bar girls, models and princesses. When responding to an invitation with your penis you will invariably get stuck with the bill. However if you cultivate your friends slightly more carefully you'll meet Thai teachers that will pay a whole bill, office girls that will split a check, family members that will treat you on your birthday. - (for you will read One will)

My sentiments exactly.

[DP25]

There is no way in hell I would have paid that. No way, I don't care if it makes a scene. I might even sneak out without paying anything after being treated like that.

[DP25]

Your ex friend has lived in Thailand too long and gone half- native.

Many times in the past, I have been invited out by Thais and then been annoyed to get stuck with the bill. If invited out by a farang, though, I would expect him to pick up the tab, especially when his party is 9 and yours only 2.

Like you, I would have probably paid up, not wishing to cause a scene, but I would not be happy about it.

Such an idiotic comment and so typical of the Thai-basher mentality. This thread has NOTHING to do with the Thais, yet, you manage to find a way to attack the Thais. Shame on you.

I think what Loong has said is still relevant to the post and unfortunately it is very true. In my experience also, Thais (unless we are talking about the wealthier types) will generally not put their hands in their pockets when out with Farangs. They just dont. Fact

No, it is absolutely not "fact," but complete BS. Why is it that all the Thai folks that I've had meals with, almost always, jump at the chance to pay, and/or contribute their share? And these are just normal Thais. It's not much different to the non-Thais that I've had meals with.

The problem on TV is that farangs here tend to hang out with friends and families of their lo-so peasant wives. If that's the case, you shouldn't be making disparaging remarks about the other 90%+ Thais who actually have manners.

Agreed, that has been my experience as well. And I'm talking about with normal Thais too, not wealthy ones.

[evadgib]

With so many leaving the scene on sight of the bill it should have been easy for the OP to "Frank Doberman" the person that caused the problem in the first place:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=286CvvkmXAg

Edited August 22, 2012 by evadgib

[Plucky]

You got seen off. He wanted to look the big lad in front of everybody but took the cheap option and stung you for half the bill as an after thought.

Twice I have had similar experiences with Thai's. First the one who invited me to a restaurant at 11pm after dining all evening with her friends from out of town. Second one invited me to join her and her friends after sending me pictures of her and her friends devouring beer stacks and LOTS of food. I said no thanks to both.

The two Swiss people I have met here have been tighter than a ducks arse. One paid for everything in 1 baht coins and the other routinely accepts drinks but never returns the favour.

Thailand is full of people trying to get by on nothing and try to scam others.