Help! GF refuses to leave!

[eddie61]

make sure you use a condom even if its a late night/early morning quicky. Change sim, consider leaving the country, delete facebook account.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned......

[ledi]

Been there, too - twice! Was hell - until i got out - had to take drastic measures - such as move away - cut the losses and run - Better a painful end than pain without an end.

[Neeeko]

Tell her it's over for good, move to a different place or change the locks. If you live in an apartment/condo tell the security about her, maybe show them a photo and tell them not to let her In.

Expect a big scene caused maybe a few times, but eventually she should get the message if you have nothing to do with her.

And like a few have said, she must be wild in the bedroom.. maybe that's why you're still with her after 3 years?

Edited August 26, 2013 by Neeeko

[fire2rescue99]

You have to extract yourself the Thai way and be prepared to pay and make things right? Since everyone at work know about this, I would ask your boss to ask their big Thai boss to set up a meet with local police commander. The Thai boss will know a ranking person. Tell them you are going to move her back to her former town. Tell top cop she is going home and police there need to be notified that she is coming.The greasing of the wheel must start and show your appreciation. The trip back must be done without her being aware of cause. Have a friend of hers meet you back home. At this point you offer to take her to the hospital emergency room and see the on call psychiatrist. You will pay for the visit. She will decline and you say this is the end, I have xx baht for you. I am sorry but this is not healthy for either me or you. You need help, I am willing to get you treatment right now, but our relationship is over. The police have been notified of our split and you will not follow me back or visit my workplace as their will be consequences. I will send you belongings. I am truly sorry this has ended like this, but I will not subject myself to your mental illness and become sick like you or your prisoner. You need help. I am saving both our lives at this point. You can never have contact again after this for your safety. Difficult, all I can say is good luck.

[kangeroo]

Unfortunately you will have to move house ,job and country because if she is as crazy as you sayshe is someone will find her in the bath tub with her wrist cut ,and you don't want to be in Thailand when that happens .

Very serious situation not to be taken lightly . Talking with her family could result in a solution but how far do you go .

Cheers .

[Jasun]

You need to let enough people know the situation to cover yourself against reprisals, but not so many it'll cause her to lose face. What's clear is that you get out ASAP. Ask someone at work how to handle it.

[ttthailand]

Maybe tell her it is over and give her a little settlement of cash with the understanding that you will provide some additional monthly support for 3 or 6 months to help he get her life back in order as long as she does not contact you in anyway. One call breaks the deal, make it clear that it is that or nothing. I think all Thais will surrender to money . Good luck !

[Pinot]

You either have to quit your job or maybe arrange a leave of absence...but go. I would call her AFTER you've left and see if some money would get her to back off. Do it in installments for performance.

I had to laugh at the Irish sunglasses comment. I've never hit a woman but a Thai girl on a wobbly is a juicy target. A Thai guy wouldn't put up with it.

[chrisartist]

You obviously need to get rid of her. You say her solution is for you both to pack up and find jobs in a new location. How about agreeing and sending her off to the new location to find a new place to live first, as a base of operations from which to find new jobs? Your rationale can be that she has a junior position and you want to give her a good chance, so she can go and look first. Give her money to rent a place and eat. Then, when she has gone to look, move to another town far away.

You will lose your job this way, but equally, you will be rid of her; and you can find a new job.

Edited August 26, 2013 by chrisartist

[OldSalty]

Welcome to the club. I guess you are not the only one on this site that has been through this problem in one way or another. Offer a generous financial settlement one she can't refuse and go on vacation, giving her time to leave your place. Take with you whatever is important for you and get it in safe storage and go i.e. to the Philippines, where you will find a nice Filippina, which you take with you back to Thailand and than she will sort the mess out for you, because girls are dealing better with another girl and Filippinas are much smarter than Thais. I know from my own experience and than just wait what is happening.

[Monkeyrobot]

Run Run Run because one day you will wake up with something missing, the problem will only get worse. Good luck, let TV know what happens down the track & just walk away, if you live in this country only invest only as much as you are prepared to loose to walk away.

[Krataiboy]

If she is this crazy the sex must be amazing.

Yuk! Where are you, moderator?

[JLCrab]

To all those who glibly say leave a current job -- for which it seems the OP may have work permit and extensions of stay -- how does one explain to a future prospective employer just why it was that you left the previous job for which one had just received a promotion? Maybe explain to the prospective employer just how good you would be at dealing with upset or disgruntled Thai customers or clients?

[marstons]

seems you put in her in the position where she cant live without out you with the car and condo, so she will hang on in there to the bitter end, been through it myself uprooting two times and moving long distances but still being found. Only way out is to make her see its over, defiantly file a police report then some things on file, she has committed some criminal acts so you should get a response from the police, maybe even using co-workers to help after all she is threatening them. The only way to see a Thai girl off in my experience is to get another Thai girl to do it, we are not on the same wave length. A financial settlement maybe needed but with a car and condo at risk maybe a big one, also is it worth speaking to your boss and making it clear its her or you that remains at the company.

What ever way she has to see a no way back settlement and that's going to give you a lot of grief between now and then. Better to have not burdened her with payments on a condo and car, still hind site is a wonderful thing and maybe these new co-workers look a better prospect than the low grade job present option.

[JO1973]

Dump her like a bad habit.

Kick her out, call the police on her if need be. And if you need to call them a thousand times do so. Sooner or later she will get tired of having the police involved or the police will get tired of some crazy chick causing problems. Just keep calling them.

Change your phone and tell your work to take any legal actions against her they want (since she has now been threatening to kill people there).

If you need to physically restrain her -- DO IT. Don't get into an argument with her, take the high road and just act as though she is insane and you're trying to get on with your life (which you are).

Move if you need to and distribute her picture to your new place telling them that she is crazy and is threatening to kill people. They'll have no problem calling the cops.

As a last resort, take a leave from your job and the country. When you come back move to an entirely new part of town and never contact any of your mutal contacts.

[kirstymelb101]

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation.

Some Thai woman are delusional, in every sense of the word.

You're not at fault, so don't feel guilty. You didn't force her to come. She came willingly already knowing the circumstance.

Don't think you need to compensate her in any way watsoever !

I hate Thai woman who expect to be taken care of.

Unfortunately the police won't do much. It's your word against hers, and if she's as crazy as you mention, she will make up some false story that will only end up with you in cuffs..

Unless you know a colleague, good friend or someone you can trust to go with you, I'd leave the police out of it.

Edited August 26, 2013 by kirstymelb101

[F4UCorsair]

Isn't this ALL women, better or worse?? (I'm only half serious about that).

We all like to think not, but there's no doubt many are, and the real problems are going to arise when you do finally dump her.

It may be best to arrange a month's or six weeks leave from your company, and ask that they say you've gone back to the UK, US, or wherever you came from, clean your place out while she's at work, and just do a runner. Come back after your break and she'll be gone......hopefully.

Just getting out of there with your life may be a bonus, so dumping a house full of personal things may not be such a loss??

Edited August 26, 2013 by F4UCorsair

[F4UCorsair]

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation.

Some Thai woman are delusional, in every sense of the word.

You're not at fault, so don't feel guilty. You didn't force her to come. She came willingly already knowing the circumstance.

Don't think you need to compensate her in any way watsoever !

I hate Thai woman who expect to be taken care of.

My kind of girl Kirsty!!

[MobileContent]

She should have never worked in the company you are working for from the beginning.

[Prettygirl051469]

I had a similar situation. Unfortunately we were married before the true character emerged. I had invested in two houses and a business and tried to make our situation stable. Thing went from bad to worse. I needed permission to go out of our front gate for fear I could meet up with someone else.

Finally I made a plan to dump my lifestyle, walk out and go back to my home country. After a row I took our car to the airport, purchased a ticket, left a text message to say the keys are in the car then cut all communications from that day till this.

Now I am in a new and very happy relationship. I lost so much financially but I got my sanity and happiness back.

[RigPig]

Reverse Psychology, you need her to leave, her idea.

Kinky sex !!! Tell her if she really loves you.......

Keep getting kinkier and kinkier, push the boundaries over the edge, worked for me came home one day and she was gone!!! And the fun I had till she did almost compensated for the grief

Amazingly she never said no or complained, just eventually left, never heard from her since.......

[EveryDayTheSame]

Dude, she's a bunny boiler. Slip out in the dead of night and don't look back.

Forget trying to be reasonable and logical....Obsessive jealousy is an incurable disease, and you need to leave and not look back. If you stay and try to reason with her, i foresee only misery and possibly tragedy............I speak from previous experience....GET OUT NOW!!

[chrisartist]

To all those who glibly say leave a current job -- for which it seems the OP may have work permit and extensions of stay -- how does one explain to a future prospective employer just why it was that you left the previous job for which one had just received a promotion? Maybe explain to the prospective employer just how good you would be at dealing with upset or disgruntled Thai customers or clients?

I don't suppose anybody would suggest that leaving a job in Thailand is unproblematic. However, it might well be better than the alternatives. Sometimes you just have to walk away and give things up. I am confident that the OP will be able to read all the posts, weigh the pros and cons of the suggested courses of action, and decide what to do.

[kirstymelb101]

Reverse Psychology, you need her to leave, her idea.

Kinky sex !!! Tell her if she really loves you.......

Keep getting kinkier and kinkier, push the boundaries over the edge, worked for me came home one day and she was gone!!! And the fun I had till she did almost compensated for the grief

Amazingly she never said no or complained, just eventually left, never heard from her since.......

Very innaproptriate !!

[CIHUAHUA]

It sounds like you are in a real world of trouble. No matter what you do that is logical, it will not work. You will pay and pay always looking over your shoulder for years to come. It will hinder your ability to find another. The only solution is to leave your job, get out of dodge, and never communicate with her again. She will make sure things will not go your way no matter what. Run run run, your life may depend on it.

Edited August 26, 2013 by CIHUAHUA

[ttthailand]

Reverse Psychology, you need her to leave, her idea.

Kinky sex !!! Tell her if she really loves you.......

Keep getting kinkier and kinkier, push the boundaries over the edge, worked for me came home one day and she was gone!!! And the fun I had till she did almost compensated for the grief

Amazingly she never said no or complained, just eventually left, never heard from her since.......

I like the way you think

And it just might work, worth a try

[JLCrab]

To all those who glibly say leave a current job -- for which it seems the OP may have work permit and extensions of stay -- how does one explain to a future prospective employer just why it was that you left the previous job for which one had just received a promotion? Maybe explain to the prospective employer just how good you would be at dealing with upset or disgruntled Thai customers or clients?

I don't suppose anybody would suggest that leaving a job in Thailand is unproblematic. However, it might well be better than the alternatives. Sometimes you just have to walk away and give things up. I am confident that the OP will be able to read all the posts, weigh the pros and cons of the suggested courses of action, and decide what to do.

Fine -- But hopefully the OP can find a way to end his state of affairs without sacrificing his job -- walking away from a good job in Thailand because one is incapable of managing a non-marital relationship doesn't strike me as being one of those give-up-everything moments.

[JSatGS]

You stayed with her for years and asked her to follow you so perhaps you need to get her setup again. Sit with her and help her open a Thailovelink or other dating site account. Don't ever question her about the account and if she is still attractive and you are lucky she will find other man. If that don't work offer her 100,000 baht to end it now, no return ! Or maybe do both.

Now this is down right vicious ttthailand! Foist her on another unsuspecting Farang to be terrorized? I hope you never need help....lol.

Maybe someone on here needs to be honest...tell the OP, get some spine, take control of the situation and quit being wishy washy with her. If it is over, it is over. Severe ties, move on. You own this issue as much as her because you enable her - that is what she is preying upon now too. The poster with the statement of doing it Thai way is very true. You screw it up each time you enable.

[jmccarty]

Delaying ending it is prolonging your suffering. I don't expect you can get a restraining order from the court here, even with proof that she is abusive and harrassing you. My wife is bad, but not that bad. If she got to the level you are experiencing, I would pay the police to assist in getting her out. I have threatened mine with police action when she gets to her worst and often video her when she goes into hysterics over nothing, this makes her walk the dog for a while and she comes back in a better frame of mind.

Some women seem not to be happy unless they are complaining or creating drama. It's in the wiring and the phsychos do not like to lose a fight, even if they start it over something imagined such as yours and attempting to reason with these kind of people is like asking a rabid dog not to bite your ass!

[Halion]

Have a word with your boss, make sure your staff will back you up. Outline the harassment and intimidation during working hours. Ask your boss if he can get the police to charge her, ( if need be grease the wheel ). Get the police to mark her card that she's in the firing line for plenty more and encourage her to leave town. Get the police to throw her out of the house and warn her not to come back. You know, the way that Thai police can be very persuasive. Now she's out of a job and has the police on her back,and she's homeless. Get the police or company to phone her family and tell them to get a grip on her or she will be getting jailed.

Move into an outlying hotel for a couple of weeks. Get to your office earlier than normal. If she shows up the company, the staff, anyone concerned will be of the opinion she deserves everything that's coming.

Bring a bigger dog to the fight and let them do the biting for you.

Just sayin'

Makes a lot of sense. The only other action I would suggest is that you also move residence covertly and then she will find herself out of a house, job and relationship and in disdain by those in her immediate surroundings. Hopefully she will get the message . If you are truly sincere about this you have to be firm and stand your ground. You can not make omletes without breaking eggs. If you allow this to continue on it's current course then it can only get worse.