I think that Farangs from ever home country are sometimes seen as angry, uncouth, rude and generally not respectful of the locals and other Farang and I think it time tried to improve our image and behalved in a more courteous way, this would make much more pleasant for all! What do you have in mind I hear you ask? Well, I have come up with a few pointers and I amsure you will have some jolly good ideas as well to improve things, so here goes.

1.Always adress people by "Sir" or "Madam", especially older people.

2.Never speak with your mouth open.

3 Do not lean across people at mealtimes.

4. All should wear name bedges and on special national days (Independence day of Trafalgar Day for instance ) you should wear the family crest.

5.All men over 25 should wear wide brimmed hats on sundays.

6. Pointing at people should be punished by on the spot fines ( 20bts for a first offence).

7. The national anthem of you home country to played at 9am and 5pm everyday.

Well, I think you have got the gist now and have left plenty of scoop for you add you thoughts as well, together we will make life better!

I'm not sure I will be able to speak without opening my mouth, but I'll sure give it a try.

I suspect the only thing that farang need to learn is to enjoy the place they have decided to settle in. There will be frustrations and annoyances, for sure, but every place has that. We are here because we choose to be, not because we have no other options.

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Wearing hats and name badges?? Are you for real?

.Never speak with your mouth open.

I'll give it a try..... Sir or Madam,

'Gottle o Gear, gottle o gear'

Is Thailand the new Butlins?

Sir Billy would be proud.

I'm hoping that the OP is being facetious. I suspect not however.

If his ideas come into effect I will need to do a bit of research to find my family crest. I think I left it in the grand room in the West Wing of Scobie Towers. I'll ask my man Jeeves to see if he can find it.

No more public bum scratching for me then.

Great post but, how bored, stoned, inebriated are you? Consider western culture and compare. In the west we are happy to work Mon - Fri lunch time. Receive decent money, can buy what ever we like and go on holiday wherever we want to. But there are some protocols to adhere to that favor younger people. When you get to 35-40 + some of the enjoyment is denied as you get older and some things previously enjoyed are no longer as much fun. Life becomes a waiting room, waiting for the inevitable when bit of you start failing.

For example:

Nightclubs and young women, out of bounds when you hit 40. And your a prime target for a dusting.

Earning a wage becomes a bore when you've got all you need, but it's never enough.

Younger people seem a little intimidating, if only they knew how lucky they are. All fields around here in my day.

To have a wife is great but is it natural to hang around with an overweight middle aged women,you've banged so many times it's no longer what is was. And it's costing you a fortune and there is no easy way out.

Ugly women seem more attractive than your own wife. You turn into a dirty old man tossing yourself off.

When you have kids it's fantastic too see them doing well, but do you want to hang around with them.

Conversely in Thailand all these things can be flipped to your own selfish natural desire.

All you need is a little money, 20 something bar girl, 125 motorbike, and a desire to be young again. Only now you're a narcissist.

The has to be ying and there has to be yang. It's just old age <deleted>**ing with ya.

It's too late.

Just as it's too late for Thailand to change it's image abroad.

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You've got me and my buddies intrigued. How long did it take you to come up with that?

Keep on givein it to her.

Respect

What is the OP smoking?

Dinner jackets required (for dinner that is)

Wearing hats and name badges?? Are you for real?

Sounds like a TV party.

Point 6, even dead bodies?

Wearing pants in city environments, shaving and not sweating like a monkey is a good start...

I'd like to see more arse kissing.

I'd like to see fewer UK expats complaining about their pensions being frozen. That would be a start (he says with a cautious glance over his shoulder at the OP)

8. Don't eat with food in your mouth. That is so annoying.

And only wear long trouser and good closed shoes if you are male.

Nothing like a fun troll now and then. Does no.6 apply to police pressers? If so, how would we ever know who the guilty party is? We might mistake them for cops.

I'm having a powder room installed for the ladies - somewhere for them to go whilst us chaps tootle off for a cigar. Tally ho!

Savages we call them because their manners differ from ours.

Maybe Thais living in a foreign country should try and change the image people have of their country for a start.TAT and there embassys dont know titi......

Dinner jackets required (for dinner that is)

Excellent idea Mr Johnson!

8. Don't eat with food in your mouth. That is so annoying.

Good idea to open the mouth to receive food or you will make a mess dont you think?

I'm having a powder room installed for the ladies - somewhere for them to go whilst us chaps tootle off for a cigar. Tally ho!

Savages we call them because their manners differ from ours.

I like it, I do like that sir!

Now I was thinking that on really special occasions we should all have an airing of a white suit, like the locals do for elections and promotions etc ( although we can dispense with the rope and 1000 badges- just the bands round the wrist will suffice. So I hear you ask what is deemed a special, really special occasion? Good question, over to you.

How do you feel about introducing cigarette holders, so sofisticated, certainly make you stand out in the crowd.

Now off you go back straight, quick march, dont forget to take viagra for your stiff upper lip!

We've been transported back to 1890.

Pink Gin and cucumber sandwiches on a balmy sunday afternoon at the Oriental. Ladies, After 5 Wear, and men, Panama hats, Medals to be worn.

Love it!

At the end of the day we will never be Thai and that is the key to total acceptance in Los so why bother.

Dinner jackets required (for dinner that is)

Somewhat indigestible, don't you think?