Things you nearly said but a moment of clarity saved you

[Tywais]

Last night I saw a new pair of slacks on a hanger my wife bought. She saw me looking at them and asked me if I thought they were pretty. I nearly asked 'are they big enough' but a second of clarity stopped me and saved me from the aftermath.

Anyone else have an 'interesting' anecdote which nearly got you into hot water with the wife/gf but at the last second thought better of it? Just a bit of fun, nothing serious allowed.

[HeijoshinCool]

Dang, I really wanted to answer this.

I've given it twenty minutes of thought, but can't even remember my last moment of clarity, let alone why I had it.

[mancub]

Once I almost said to the Mrs " Go on then , here are the keys ....you drive ."

She can't drive , but it wouldn't have stopped her trying.

[theblether]

Alrighty, I will have a go.......

Back in April in a noisy restaurant my ex thought I asked her to marry me.....she said you must go speak to my Mom, I said why must I go speak to your Mom, she said to arrange all about the marriage.

What marriage I said, she said me and you.........and I nearly said......

You must be mad to think I would marry you......

What I actually said was, no I did not ask you to marry me, when I do, it will be very romantic, not like this.

Big smile.

The table was full of knives, bottles glasses and the like, she had too many weapons to hand. I might be daft but Im not stupid.

[Songhua]

I almost told her I'd increased my credit card limit.

[MJP]

Never been able to stop myself, brain's too slow, hence why I'm always in trouble with someone.

[Thaddeus]

Dang, I really wanted to answer this.

I've given it twenty minutes of thought, but can't even remember my last moment of clarity, let alone why I had it.

Given it slightly less thought, but I am struggling to recall the last time I managed to stop myself saying something completely dumb.

[kannot]

I used to do house renovations and had two Gay customers they were great fun but one day they asked me about tiling the bathroom floor or doing a laminate, I said if you tile it and it leaks under "your buggered"

[I Like Thai]

Alrighty, I will have a go.......

Back in April in a noisy restaurant my ex thought I asked her to marry me.....she said you must go speak to my Mom, I said why must I go speak to your Mom, she said to arrange all about the marriage.

What marriage I said, she said me and you.........and I nearly said......

You must be mad to think I would marry you......

What I actually said was, no I did not ask you to marry me, when I do, it will be very romantic, not like this.

Big smile.

The table was full of knives, bottles glasses and the like, she had too many weapons to hand. I might be daft but Im not stupid.

Tell the truth The Blether. You were twisted drunk. You said "Will you carry me". She thought you said, "Will you marry me". That's when the trouble started.

[ABCer]

Dang, I really wanted to answer this.

I've given it twenty minutes of thought, but can't even remember my last moment of clarity, let alone why I had it.

A man seeing a young lady in super tight jeans says

- Wow! How anybody can get into such tight pants?!

- Only after a Restaurant and prepayment, - says she back...

Note. Prepayment, - nothing reinforces the trust in humanity better!

[mca]

My wife had arranged to meet a old friend of hers who i had never met. As we sat in the restaurant this obviously gay Thai guy came mincing in in a manner that made john inman look like Jason statham. I was about to say " bloody hell check him out" when my wife stood up and greeted, you guessed it, her friend.

Edited October 23, 2013 by mca

[wayned]

Unfortunately, my moments of clarity are much like my short time memory! They usually come after I haves aid/done what I shouldn't have and am ducking whatever is being thrown in my direction! The latest a running table fan that disintegrated into many bits as it hit the wall beside me!

[Swiss1960]

Looked at a girl with really, really gorgeous breasts... GF asked me "you like?"...

almost said "yes"...

consequences would have been either knife in my back... or hospital bill of 150K for HER new breasts...

sooo... I said "nooooo, too big, not so sexy like you"...

[A1Str8]

Once I almost said to the Mrs " Go on then , here are the keys ....you drive ."

She can't drive , but it wouldn't have stopped her trying.

Right. That's typical. They don't know how to do something but that doesn't seem to bother them. If you dont stop them they are going to do it anyway.

[JLCrab]

My favorite ever ThaiVisa comment but I don't remember by whom (kudos to him, anyway):

Him: Dear, you look lovely tonight.

Her: Oh yeah? Well what about last night?

[ToddWeston]

Working in a Pharmacy I can't tell you how many times I've said by mistake - when are you expecting ......

[yourauntbob]

Working in a Pharmacy I can't tell you how many times I've said by mistake - when are you expecting ......

you should probably stop saying that.....

[chrisinth]

My wife asked me if I could go and buy some pills so I could keep an erection longer.

My immediate instinct was to say "Do you mean diet pills for you?"

Not sure what stopped me replying, but whatever it was at least I am able to share this with you at the present time.....................

(I've just posted something similar in the Pub.......... )

[canman]

Working in a Pharmacy I can't tell you how many times I've said by mistake - when are you expecting ......

One of the hard and fast man rules is that you never ever suggest a woman is pregnant unless you physically see the baby coming out.

[farang000999]

I stop myself all the time especially when I am angry. There is very rarely anything good that can come out of speaking when you are angry.

[Clutch]

Went for takeaway food with my TGF in Aust and as we left the cute cashier said to me 'see you later'

My TGF then says: 'why she want to see you later, you having affair with her?'

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[farang000999]

Sounds like a healthy relationship.

[mauGR1]

I have some random moment of clarity, but for some reason i tend to limit them to the essential.

Mostly, i say what i think... That is the main reason why i am happily un-married

Few days ago, i told my gf that her belly is not very small... She asked me if i would leave her for a slim woman..Deep silence...

Now she's on a diet... Silence can be more eloquent than words

[Songhua]

Working in a Pharmacy I can't tell you how many times I've said by mistake - when are you expecting ......

One of the hard and fast man rules is that you never ever suggest a woman is pregnant unless you physically see the baby coming out.

... or were there when it happened.