Do many Thais appreciate a person going out of their way....

[332]

....to help them? from your observations.

Or do many smile, fake gratitude and consider them a fool, then try, or even expect, to get more.

And if more isn't coming the original helper is suddenly bad.

From my observations over the years I've seen the latter happen on many, many occasions.

Yourself?

[CharlieH]

I would say it depends on the nature of the "help", if its because they have had an accident, then yes, they are very appreciative and genuine as most or any person would be.

If you are talking financial, well you would have to know alot more about the individuals and circumstances to judge or comment.

[Berkshire]

Mr. 332, you seem to have a very negative view of Thais and Thailand, judging by the content of this and other threads you've started. So what really happened to you? Get burned by a bargirl or two?

[zeichen]

What do you expect in return. Do you suffer from the Nice Guy syndrom? Where you do things for others and expect quid pro quo.

I have stopped on the side of the road when people have been broken down or had an accident and helped them. I then left when they were fine. No one has ever rejected my help. I have no idea how they felt because it wasn't my intention to get a response just to help.

[benalibina]

Hmmmm........ thinking about my personal experiences......its been tried to get more out of being decent......guess many have been brought up that way......decency is weakness.....with many things i have been firm........with doing the decent thing not.......it ended with entitlement, for now.......the wrong 1.......with no shame......my bad.

[332]

If you are talking financial, well you would have to know alot more about the individuals and circumstances to judge or comment.

Just for example a Thai friend of mine who owned farm land in central Thailand organized their sister to work on it, after she lost her job. Profits split 50/50. 1 year later and after harvest time. it was time to collect, but there was problem with the money.

6 months later (and into the 2nd crop) they reminded her she owed them the 50%, no, there was no money. They let her finish and sell the 2nd crop. Again no money. They sold the land, took the money and bought a nice rental property. She was utterly furious with them and disowned them for helping her when she needed the help.

Another was a friend who lent her cousin a small amount of money (3000b I think) after she phoned with some sob-story. 2 months later the same request. Turned down. she was angry. 2 months later my friend called to say that she needed the money back. She was called tight and stingy for requesting back such a small amount of money, and never received it back.

Just two of many social observations. I do enjoy observing society and cultures.

[cooked]

It is rare that a Thai says thank you when I indicate to them to go first on the road. When they do, it really makes my day, about once a month. I don't care, not acknowledging other peoples' presence, (letting a door slam into your face, not saying thanks when you hold it open for you for example) is a part of 'Thainess' that I don't intend to embrace. I hope that they don't think 'stupid Farang' but that eventually by showing a good example, some people will think on. I doubt it though.

My wife helped an old lady use an ATM last week and she got no word of thanks. My wife doesn't care, it's normal.

[kannot]

Mr. 332, you seem to have a very negative view of Thais and Thailand, judging by the content of this and other threads you've started. So what really happened to you? Get burned by a bargirl or two?

Just maybe he lives in the "real world"

[332]

Mr. 332, you seem to have a very negative view of Thais and Thailand, judging by the content of this and other threads you've started. So what really happened to you? Get burned by a bargirl or two?

Never had a need or desire for bargirls.

Just my observations from a number of years of living within the society.

[kannot]

If you are talking financial, well you would have to know alot more about the individuals and circumstances to judge or comment.

Just for example a Thai friend of mine who owned farm land in central Thailand organized their sister to work on it, after she lost her job. Profits split 50/50. 1 year later and after harvest time. it was time to collect, but there was problem with the money.

6 months later (and into the 2nd crop) they reminded her she owed them the 50%, no, there was no money. They let her finish and sell the 2nd crop. Again no money. They sold the land, took the money and bought a nice rental property. She was utterly furious with them and disowned them for helping her when she needed the help.

Another was a friend who lent her cousin a small amount of money (3000b I think) after she phoned with some sob-story. 2 months later the same request. Turned down. she was angry. 2 months later my friend called to say that she needed the money back. She was called tight and stingy for requesting back such a small amount of money, and never received it back.

Just two of many social observations. I do enjoy observing society and cultures.

Yep same same, Wife lent money asks for it back and "mai me", keeps asking periodically and "no have"

This goes on for 3 years, then she tells them give me back the money or I will call the Police........they laugh at her.

From what she tells me this is one of several loans, nothing more than 10k baht that she lent out BEFORE we married and when she was only earning 10k a month yet still managing to save unlike all these "friends" on similar salaries,

She doesnt lend now.

Its ceratainly NOT a Farang thing.

[CharlieH]

From a money point of view I have observed that when small amounts of money are concerned, say under 10k, Thais use the word borrow but what they mean is give, as they have little or no intention of giving it back, this is then a face thing too, the lender rarely chases it as its a loss of face and they dont want to appear to be needy as the borrower did in the first place.

[332]

I remember a story, maybe even from on here about 2 years ago, about a guy living in a rural village. He set out on a mission to clean up the place. Hired a big grass cutter and painted all the playground, cleaned up the whe whole place. Hoping to lead by example. He was delighted with the result.

then he got sick.

the locals called around.

To enquire as to when he he will be cutting the grass again.

If it was on here, can someone find it for me? I'd be interested in reading it again.

[geronimo]

Yes, most do, although due to their modesty, they rarely ask for assistance.

[ttthailand]

Thailand in some ways is still a dog eat dog environment. Many people still try to take advantage when ever possible. It's me me me ..... "Thank you" is not spoken nor do many people go out of their way to assist.

My past gf before was not like this and she went out of her way to help people all she could. Her so called friends never paid her back money they owed her, never asked her to go places unless it was for her to pay something, never helped her unless they got something in return... even in her family. Don't be fooled by the Thai smile as saying thank you... It may be saying "Sucker".

There are however many really nice Thais that don't fit the mold. It just seems that those who do only think of themselves stand out and we notice them the most and makes all Thais look bad.

[umbanda]

I had very bad experiences with that...and very good ones...like I had in EVERY country I live before in every continent...and probably I didn't had more of the good ones here because I do not speak Thai.

[Chao Lao Beach]

The 2 examples you used were directly money related, there is the problem to start with.

[332]

I remember a story, maybe even from on here about 2 years ago, about a guy living in a rural village. He set out on a mission to clean up the place. Hired a big grass cutter and painted all the playground, cleaned up the whe whole place. Hoping to lead by example. He was delighted with the result.

then he got sick.

the locals called around.

To enquire as to when he he will be cutting the grass again.

Anybody remember this? It was a big long thread with lots of pics of all the good work, a big grass cutter rented for the day, painted and clean playground etc. Until he got sick. Then everything back to normal except they called around wanting to know when he's going to cut the grass again.

I'm sure I read it on this forum.

[marko kok prong]

It is rare that a Thai says thank you when I indicate to them to go first on the road. When they do, it really makes my day, about once a month. I don't care, not acknowledging other peoples' presence, (letting a door slam into your face, not saying thanks when you hold it open for you for example) is a part of 'Thainess' that I don't intend to embrace. I hope that they don't think 'stupid Farang' but that eventually by showing a good example, some people will think on. I doubt it though.

My wife helped an old lady use an ATM last week and she got no word of thanks. My wife doesn't care, it's normal.

Interesting post,cooked,i have noticed the same,do you think it could be about face,as a lot of things seem to be here,like with your wife helping the old lady,maybe the old lady felt she had lost face?

[Costas2008]

A friend, and prominent TV member, offered to donate his scares type of blood, when needed by an unknown Thai.

The reaction, in the hospital my wife works and of the person notified about the donation, was full of gratitude.

And even today they speak about the farang that out of the blue donated his blood for an unknown Thai in need.

[marko kok prong]

A friend, and prominent TV member, offered to donate his scares type of blood, when needed by an unknown Thai.

The reaction, in the hospital my wife works and of the person notified about the donation, was full of gratitude.

And even today they speak about the farang that out of the blue donated his blood for an unknown Thai in need.

So after that they had a little bit of falang in them,my wife likes that,in my case just a little bit.

[FritsSikkink]

Mr. 332, you seem to have a very negative view of Thais and Thailand, judging by the content of this and other threads you've started. So what really happened to you? Get burned by a bargirl or two?

Never had a need or desire for bargirls.

Just my observations from a number of years of living within the society.

What about your observations in your home country ?

[krisb]

I remember a story, maybe even from on here about 2 years ago, about a guy living in a rural village. He set out on a mission to clean up the place. Hired a big grass cutter and painted all the playground, cleaned up the whe whole place. Hoping to lead by example. He was delighted with the result.

then he got sick.

the locals called around.

To enquire as to when he he will be cutting the grass again.

Anybody remember this? It was a big long thread with lots of pics of all the good work, a big grass cutter rented for the day, painted and clean playground etc. Until he got sick. Then everything back to normal except they called around wanting to know when he's going to cut the grass again.

I'm sure I read it on this forum.

Sounds like Weegee.

[marko kok prong]

I remember a story, maybe even from on here about 2 years ago, about a guy living in a rural village. He set out on a mission to clean up the place. Hired a big grass cutter and painted all the playground, cleaned up the whe whole place. Hoping to lead by example. He was delighted with the result.

then he got sick.

the locals called around.

To enquire as to when he he will be cutting the grass again.

Anybody remember this? It was a big long thread with lots of pics of all the good work, a big grass cutter rented for the day, painted and clean playground etc. Until he got sick. Then everything back to normal except they called around wanting to know when he's going to cut the grass again.

I'm sure I read it on this forum.

and no doubt cart away the garbage they had strewn everywhere.

[Munger]

Mr. 332, you seem to have a very negative view of Thais and Thailand, judging by the content of this and other threads you've started. So what really happened to you? Get burned by a bargirl or two?

Never had a need or desire for bargirls.

Just my observations from a number of years of living within the society.

What about your observations in your home country ?

Off topic, as this is a Thai forum.

[Lancelot]

It is rare that a Thai says thank you when I indicate to them to go first on the road. When they do, it really makes my day, about once a month. I don't care, not acknowledging other peoples' presence, (letting a door slam into your face, not saying thanks when you hold it open for you for example) is a part of 'Thainess' that I don't intend to embrace. I hope that they don't think 'stupid Farang' but that eventually by showing a good example, some people will think on. I doubt it though.

My wife helped an old lady use an ATM last week and she got no word of thanks. My wife doesn't care, it's normal.

I notice that as well, Thais rarely say thanks to each other. Different culture and different rules. Just the way it is...

[seajae]

^{there are good and bad in every country but there certainly seems to be a lot of thais that do fit the mould. I always hold doors open etc as this is the way I was raised, I do get the occasional thankyou but usually nothing not that it bothers me. I know my wifes sister owes here a bundle but has no intention of paying it back because my wife has a better paying job, seems if you earn more or have a nicer house}, car whatever then people automatically think they do not have to repay any loans. Basically it boils down to the way thais are taught and the way they think, I doubt it will ever change much, either you accept it or you dont, I will always open doors for others, thank them etc as it is part of who I am, I am the one that gets satisfaction from doing it, the occasional thankyou or smile is more than enough for me, each to their own.

[Suradit69]

Do many Thais appreciate a person going out of their [sic] way.

Is "a person" secret code for "farang?" Sounds like another farang suffering from loss of face after performing some trivial gesture for which he expected undying & everlasting gratitude from the "natives."

Have you consulted the "How to be a Thai Handbook" that all 67 million have to read and swear to follow ... since they all think and act the exactly same?

[impulse]

Do they say thank you and acknowledge a kindness? Perhaps not so much.

Will they return the (genuine) kindness when they get a chance? Yes

Heavy disclaimer on the "genuine" because the Asian culture is run on scorecards and a lot of so called kindnesses comes with strings attached.

Small wonder they may be leery about accepting and acknowledging gestures of kindness the way we do back home. (Or at least we used to- kind of jaded lately)

[Gsxrnz]

Once again I find myself living in a different Thailand to many TV members.

Daily, I receive acknowledgement from strangers for opening a door, making a gap in the traffic, standing aside to let someone pass and similar such acts of common courtesy. Maybe some of you guys don't see (or don't want to see) the deference that is offered - the nodding of a head or a quick smile, or even a full fledged dip if the generational gap is significant. Sure, not 100% of the time, but no less frequently than I would expect at home.

As to specific payback, I could list dozens of situations where we have helped others in minor ways and been rewarded with favours or gifts that meet or exceed the help given. And made some very good family friends in the process.

The latest that happened just yesterday was receiving a box load of vegetables from a very remote acquaintance because she needed a lift to the bus station with her luggage two weeks ago and I just happened to be going that way. On her return she makes a point of bringing us the box of veges at some cost to herself in terms of time and effort.

[Benmart]

When I "help" someone, regardless of nationality, it comes with no strings attached or hidden agendas.

For me, helping, giving, assisting or whatever name one calls it, is best given from the heart and not the head.

If the recipient decides to take a dark route, that's up to them. I've no control over other people.

So far so good.