In 10 Years I Have Never Had A Conversation With A Thai

[Maggusoil]

I have an extremely knowledgable educated Thai friend, who speaks fluent English and is a translator. He also has an unambiguous knowledge of his countrymen, which is frequently not that flattering.

I have fascinating conversations with this man. If you cannot manage good conversations with a Thai, I would change the way you look for it.

[Kondiao]

I can relate to what Bowerboy brings up. When I went to Maylasia for a few weeks I was surprised at how easily I could communicate with people. It was not about language it was about them thinking of me as a person, like them. This, despite my strong reservations about Muslims. With Thai people, after 4+ years, altogether, in the country, it still seems like they want to be formal and not engage in a person-to-person interaction if it can be avoided. They have so much obsession with "face", and so little regard for what other people are really feeling.

As for the rest of you people who disagreed with the post by Bowerboy - why is it you cannot just say - or think - that you understand what the person is saying but you don't see it that way? What do you accomplish by projecting trash onto a person - talking about his g/f, his country of origin, his mental state - when you don't know the facts? It is because of the insulting way people respond to Posts that I - and maybe other people too - seldom Post on these forums. Is this how yoou show class?

[ralewis]

As a Thai myself

If you really hang around people who spoke perfect english and their replies to you are either yes or no or a "mai roo"

they simply don't want to talk to you

[duanebigsby]

I have not experienced the same lack of conversations as the OP. I regularly, as in every day, have meaningful conversations over lunch at a minimum, and usually many more times as well (but lunch is almost an appointment.) We discuss politics, the stock market, the world economy, the future of Thailand, the future of other parts of the world . . . in other words, the same thing I might be discussing with other westerners.

People are people.

Is it possible that you forgot to mention in your post that the people you have lunch with isn't the average Somchai, but are actually higher level educated Thais ?

The OP and many others are suggesting "no Thai" can converse meaningfully. Educated and uneducated peoples around the world are different.

[bowerboy]

It doesnt have to be deep or meaningful...just engaging on a personal level..

Previous post made me think of another current example...

World Cup is on right now (in case you hadnt noticed)...we have several Philippino guys in our office and they have approached me with uninitiated banter about who won what game and who played well etc etc..normal stuff. Those same guys also always approach me to talk about Manny Pacquaio fights and I love talking about that with them...

I was not able to engage any Thai in the office today about the World Cup.........and it was not due to language barriers...and for sure I know they are following it...

Why am I so easily able to engage with the Philipinos (and a Malaysian guy come to think of it) about the world cup and not the Thai's?

Its a case in point.

[louse1953]

Last week I was in Indonesia visiting clients and agents there. I spent a lot of time hanging out in cars, bars and restaurants with the Indonesians and something really stuck me. We had real and meaningful conversations and I was genuinely interested in what they had to say and they were genuinely interested in what I had to say. We exchanged ideas and thoughts and it struck me how "normal" it was to be talking with these guys. They were just offering their opinions and pointing out the pros and cons of different things in general and just general chit chat on a wide range of topics from sports to business to our industry to preferred pets.

As we were driving through Jakarta (or rather stuck in traffic again!) one guy was telling me about his pets and how much he loves his little hamster and describing what the hamster does at meal times. It really struck me deeply then that I have NEVER had a conversation with a Thai (not even as simple as what pets they like or why they liked a movie or why they like a certain area or whatever). I have talked at them and tried to encourage them to talk but in 10 years I cant recall anything other than a vague response or a yes or no. Never a thought or opinion or anything of any real interest or insight.

In 10 years here I have worked alongside Thais and also as a boss. Always with people that spoke excellent English and always in the medical or engineering professions. I have been on holidays, been bar hopping, been on long road trips and frequent lunches with loads of Thais over the years and honestly in all that time I cannot remember ever having had a conversation of any kind. It is nearly always questions or thoughts from me followed by yes or no answers. Any open ended question or conversation starter always ends soon after with "mai loo" (I dont know).

Do Thais have conversations among themselves that are of any real subtstance? As far as I can tell it is only ever about food or lottery numbers.

Classic example: Did a client visit to Malaysia recently with a Thai engineer from work. He has worked side by side and closely with another Thai lady in our office for 6 years now. I have known that lady for maybe 3 or 4 weeks but I already know that her husband has an extremely interesting and unusual job (he is Thai and so is she and his job is interesting, notable, well paid and remarkable by any standards). So as we are driving I am striking up conversation (kind of) and as we are talking about a project that this lady is involved in I ask this Thai engineer guy "Wow, Khun Nok's husbands job is interesting isnt it. I wonder how he got that job?" to which his reply was (of course) "mai roo". After further questioning he had no idea what Noks husbands job was despite working very closely with her for 6 years and yet I knew and had noted it soon after working and talking to her. Of course even then he didnt ask me what the job was!!

Honestly, do you find the same thing when you stop and think about it? Have you ever had a meaningful conversation with a Thai? Do you ever expect to?

Thais give me too much info,something about keeping my mouth shut.Maybe they don't trust you.

[bkkrooftop]

I can relate to what Bowerboy brings up. When I went to Maylasia for a few weeks I was surprised at how easily I could communicate with people. It was not about language it was about them thinking of me as a person, like them. This, despite my strong reservations about Muslims. With Thai people, after 4+ years, altogether, in the country, it still seems like they want to be formal and not engage in a person-to-person interaction if it can be avoided. They have so much obsession with "face", and so little regard for what other people are really feeling.

As for the rest of you people who disagreed with the post by Bowerboy - why is it you cannot just say - or think - that you understand what the person is saying but you don't see it that way? What do you accomplish by projecting trash onto a person - talking about his g/f, his country of origin, his mental state - when you don't know the facts? It is because of the insulting way people respond to Posts that I - and maybe other people too - seldom Post on these forums. Is this how yoou show class?

you want people to say they understand what he is saying? Obviously they dont.

I am quite embarrassed by a farang that says something like this. I know thai people read these, and you wonder why some would not want to converse.

Every ctry has their negatives in communication and differences. If the op would read the + and negative comments, it might help him "have an actual conversation and accept the criticism".

If this is the case for the op and I guess you, why do you stay in thailand if you cant even engage to the local people?

[pramaprow]

In 10 Years I Have Never Had A Conversation With A Thai

You're a lucky man. I have done the same for nearly 12.

Coming up on forty...bliss...

[sawim]

In 10 Years I Have Never Had A Conversation With A Thai

Count yourself lucky.

[duanebigsby]

I can relate to what Bowerboy brings up. When I went to Maylasia for a few weeks I was surprised at how easily I could communicate with people. It was not about language it was about them thinking of me as a person, like them. This, despite my strong reservations about Muslims. With Thai people, after 4+ years, altogether, in the country, it still seems like they want to be formal and not engage in a person-to-person interaction if it can be avoided. They have so much obsession with "face", and so little regard for what other people are really feeling.

As for the rest of you people who disagreed with the post by Bowerboy - why is it you cannot just say - or think - that you understand what the person is saying but you don't see it that way? What do you accomplish by projecting trash onto a person - talking about his g/f, his country of origin, his mental state - when you don't know the facts? It is because of the insulting way people respond to Posts that I - and maybe other people too - seldom Post on these forums. Is this how yoou show class?

Most posters did just say, some were rude. So were the many defenders of Bowerboy rude.

Every single human being on this planet can carry on a meaningful conversation with another human with a shared language.

Bowerboy suggested Thai people don't have this simple ability. He is suggesting evolutionary stupidity or undeveloped brains through

the education system not teaching Thai people critical thinking.

Much of his supporting posters rudely said the same things about Thai people.

Trash was projected from both sides of this argument.

[Tmymaimee]

So true what the poster said about educated Thais. Talk to a Thai with a university education and who has travelled and ask them their opinion about a regular Thai person and having a conversation with a basic Thai. You think farang look down on poor Thais? You ain't seen nothing yet! Outright racism.

[Pattaya Pat]

What's with the 'they don't trust you' comments? What's that all about? If I didn't trust someone I may not give them any privvy info or lend them any money, but don't talk to them? Absolutely laughable, I've never read such nonsense.

Back on topic, of course the OP is 100% correct. The way I have always seen it is that Thai's have absolutely no Western traits at all, none! Now that is not a criticism at all before anyone starts and yes it may sound like a daft thing to say because this isn't the West, BUT when I go to countries like Singapore, Malaysia. Indo and The Philippines I also find it much easier to strike up conversations in those countries, just a coincidence? Don't think so. The only thing I can put it down to is that Thailand has never been colonised and they are very much in their own bubble.

I've been here a long time and I haven't had many convo's with Thai's, i've had a couple with ex landladies and a few cheerful taxi drivers and dare I say it with girls in the bars (yes, I'm one of the very few people on TV that goes to bars ) but overall not many convo's down the years, but it doesn't bother me at all as I really don't think we have much in common at all, two completely different animals...of course, this is TV, so many here have many 'Thai friends' lol, and will carry on kidding themselves...

Btw, I note that the OP still refuses to say where he is from. Mmmm.

Edited June 16, 2014 by Pattaya Pat

[Neeranam]

It doesnt have to be deep or meaningful...just engaging on a personal level..

Previous post made me think of another current example...

World Cup is on right now (in case you hadnt noticed)...we have several Philippino guys in our office and they have approached me with uninitiated banter about who won what game and who played well etc etc..normal stuff. Those same guys also always approach me to talk about Manny Pacquaio fights and I love talking about that with them...

I was not able to engage any Thai in the office today about the World Cup.........and it was not due to language barriers...and for sure I know they are following it...

Why am I so easily able to engage with the Philipinos (and a Malaysian guy come to think of it) about the world cup and not the Thai's?

Its a case in point.

You must live in a different country than I. Since the world cup began, I've had loads of Thais starting conversations about football. I haven't seen any of it so couldn't really get into it apart from explaining why I support whoever is playing England. Maybe I'll tell the next one this story -

"The England team went to visit an orphanage in Brazil this morning. "It's good to put a smile on the faces of people with no hope, constantly struggling and facing the impossible." said Emilio Di Costa aged 6"

Most Thais are crazy about football - maybe they are scared of you if you are the boss?

[Pattaya Pat]

I can relate to what Bowerboy brings up. When I went to Maylasia for a few weeks I was surprised at how easily I could communicate with people. It was not about language it was about them thinking of me as a person, like them. This, despite my strong reservations about Muslims. With Thai people, after 4+ years, altogether, in the country, it still seems like they want to be formal and not engage in a person-to-person interaction if it can be avoided. They have so much obsession with "face", and so little regard for what other people are really feeling.

As for the rest of you people who disagreed with the post by Bowerboy - why is it you cannot just say - or think - that you understand what the person is saying but you don't see it that way? What do you accomplish by projecting trash onto a person - talking about his g/f, his country of origin, his mental state - when you don't know the facts? It is because of the insulting way people respond to Posts that I - and maybe other people too - seldom Post on these forums. Is this how yoou show class?

you want people to say they understand what he is saying? Obviously they dont.

I am quite embarrassed by a farang that says something like this. I know thai people read these, and you wonder why some would not want to converse.

Every ctry has their negatives in communication and differences. If the op would read the + and negative comments, it might help him "have an actual conversation and accept the criticism".

If this is the case for the op and I guess you, why do you stay in thailand if you cant even engage to the local people?

There really is no need to be embarassed.

[belg]

we are all here for the palaces, the wats and the culture, right ?

[stephen tracy]

I t must be you, not Thais. I have plenty of Thai friends and naturally as a result regularly socialize with them, which of course involves conversation on a wide array of topics, sometimes in English, sometimes in Thai, and sometimes a bit of both. I find the Thais very sociable and open to chatting about this, that and the other. I even have regular chats to the owner and staff in my local dry cleaners/laundry place, the local street stall vendors and the waiters that work part time in my local bar, as well as my landlord and landlady and their..to be honest, my landlady gabs so much I have to find excuses to leave sometimes...

[Greg Nixon]

No thinking, no thoughts, no chat. Kun kit arai ? No response ever. No matter who I ask. They do not talk to each other.

For example my wife's daughter goes to a private school. Last spring they announced an English immersion program. We checked off the box Yes. Then sometime later it was announced that they would be charging more money. We went to pay and duh, she hadn't written the test. What test. We hadn't been informed. the daughter knew nothing about it.The wife said that the clerk said to try gain next year.My wife did not protest this offhanded treatment. I said we should talk to a higher authority My wife said ," The lady said No. "

No matter how much I protested my wife insisted. If you try to get your viewpoint across and explain the principle behind it, Thais just get very angry. The Lady said No. There is no logic, no sense. Nonsense.

Again it happened at school. The children were asked to bring a white staff to school. No request via message, no specifications. I said " What is it for." Child did not know, mother did not know. We went to the store to buy it. It was lightly scuffed and therefore we got it free but it made us late. Again the same conversation. Shouldn't the school be informing us? Shouldn't they tell us what it is to be used for? I told her what good schools do. She got very angry and emotional." I do not know what they want it for." I said , If you do not have the time to stay informed task me with this" I walked home packed my bags and got ready to depart the country.

The staff came home and was thrown under the stairs. I said "What did they want it for?" Neither one of them knew. Many conversations consist of shaking ones head yes or no. Many one word sentences without a verb. Many grunts. And yet they are not unintelligent , just uncommunicative. I am in Canada with an option to stay or go back.

[QDG]

Jesus, my man, you are surely one sad guy, and not much of an advert for you race.

[nithisa78]

clearly you might consider the fact that this lack of conversation is about you. not about Thais.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

No thinking, no thoughts, no chat. Kun kit arai ? No response ever. No matter who I ask. They do not talk to each other.

For example my wife's daughter goes to a private school. Last spring they announced an English immersion program. We checked off the box Yes. Then sometime later it was announced that they would be charging more money. We went to pay and duh, she hadn't written the test. What test. We hadn't been informed. the daughter knew nothing about it.The wife said that the clerk said to try gain next year.My wife did not protest this offhanded treatment. I said we should talk to a higher authority My wife said ," The lady said No. "

No matter how much I protested my wife insisted. If you try to get your viewpoint across and explain the principle behind it, Thais just get very angry. The Lady said No. There is no logic, no sense. Nonsense.

Again it happened at school. The children were asked to bring a white staff to school. No request via message, no specifications. I said " What is it for." Child did not know, mother did not know. We went to the store to buy it. It was lightly scuffed and therefore we got it free but it made us late. Again the same conversation. Shouldn't the school be informing us? Shouldn't they tell us what it is to be used for? I told her what good schools do. She got very angry and emotional." I do not know what they want it for." I said , If you do not have the time to stay informed task me with this" I walked home packed my bags and got ready to depart the country.

The staff came home and was thrown under the stairs. I said "What did they want it for?" Neither one of them knew. Many conversations consist of shaking ones head yes or no. Many one word sentences without a verb. Many grunts. And yet they are not unintelligent , just uncommunicative. I am in Canada with an option to stay or go back.

It might be different if you spoke Thai.

Maybe they don't have the English words to explain to you.

Oh, if you want to ask a Thai what they think about something try "kit yang ngai"

Edited June 16, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[marios]

My memories of Thailand stretch back 30 years. I visited Thailand many times, maybe 15 or 16, always staying for one month at hotels or serviced apartments. In effect always as a tourist. My experiences, therefore are those of a Thailand savvy tourist.

I do not recall an instance when the taxi driver had not asked me where I came from and other inquiries indicating that he wants to communicate. The better his English the more interesting and fun was the socializing with the driver. I always had a good time in the taxi and I always thought how nice and sociable taxi drivers were. Thai people like most Asians are rather shy and do not volunteer information, this is true, but once confronted with warmth they always,to my experience, respond accordingly. I never saw arrogance racism or bad manners in Thailand. I do not have any experience in dealing with people who are equal to me, but rather a relation between the client and the provider of a service(hotel stuff, waiters drivers etc) In all occasions I felt that they are willing to socialize if I encouraged it. There attitude was not servile. My impression was that they are, the Thais, nice people.

[Neeranam]

No thinking, no thoughts, no chat. Kun kit arai ? No response ever. No matter who I ask. They do not talk to each other.

For example my wife's daughter goes to a private school. Last spring they announced an English immersion program. We checked off the box Yes. Then sometime later it was announced that they would be charging more money. We went to pay and duh, she hadn't written the test. What test. We hadn't been informed. the daughter knew nothing about it.The wife said that the clerk said to try gain next year.My wife did not protest this offhanded treatment. I said we should talk to a higher authority My wife said ," The lady said No. "

No matter how much I protested my wife insisted. If you try to get your viewpoint across and explain the principle behind it, Thais just get very angry. The Lady said No. There is no logic, no sense. Nonsense.

Again it happened at school. The children were asked to bring a white staff to school. No request via message, no specifications. I said " What is it for." Child did not know, mother did not know. We went to the store to buy it. It was lightly scuffed and therefore we got it free but it made us late. Again the same conversation. Shouldn't the school be informing us? Shouldn't they tell us what it is to be used for? I told her what good schools do. She got very angry and emotional." I do not know what they want it for." I said , If you do not have the time to stay informed task me with this" I walked home packed my bags and got ready to depart the country.

The staff came home and was thrown under the stairs. I said "What did they want it for?" Neither one of them knew. Many conversations consist of shaking ones head yes or no. Many one word sentences without a verb. Many grunts. And yet they are not unintelligent , just uncommunicative. I am in Canada with an option to stay or go back.

I suggest you stay in Canada.

[Wheelbase21]

You are not alone. I lived in Thailand for 22 years, was married and have 2 children. I speak fluent Thai and write enough to get by. I have owned 3 language schools, been a headmaster, professor at university and a foreign director. During those 22 years, I cannot recall any intellectual conversation with any Thai person; including my wife! Nor, have I met any other person during that time; that had. It was a constant topic among the teachers (Including the married ones) regarding: What do Thais talk about? Being that I speak Thai myself it was as follows: Gin kao yung (Have you eaten yet?) Sabai dee mai (Are you ok?) Khun mee meir noy rue (You have another wife, huh?) Krub kroa chun yahk goo ngern (My family wants to borrow money) khun ja sue chun tong, ler (Are you going to buy me gold?)

This is roughly transliterated as the Thai language has 44 consonants and 32 vowels - English a mere 26 consonants and 5 vowels. 22 years of this drove me nuts, thank god that I'm now back home in the UK talking with the "grown-up's" once again....

[VINCENT2012]

then you are not alone, i join then your group, because i also never had any intelectual conversation with a thai...where ever, when ever !......perhaps i had 10 years "self conversation" teaching my wife many things, but she always get borred listing to me.....she says i always repeat the same.....then i say well .....this is because you already forgot what i told you tousand of times.....the thing is that it is impossible to have a discussion with people who do not think like us, who dont live the same way, who are not interested with the same thing, who dont know what we know, (they never read a book for example), they only watch TV rabbish programe made for them.also they are not interesting in knowing or in arguing,

i give an example: now we have the world football cup , in my place the all bet for this country or this country but nobody knows where is that country in the world map or what language they speak...! they have no idea...! they have internet they could scheck it but they look only to the website who give the best probability to win.

so .with thais.....i already gave up....since long time ago , like many of us i guess, i talk about the weather, the view from my house, normal house things, commun staff not revelent at all and life goes on.!....all in thai of course, in english it is not even posible , in my place nobody understand it......

like boy i am that recently i found i foreign nice guy near my place with who i can have these diferent point of view about whatever.

Edited June 16, 2014 by VINCENT2012

[Wheelbase21]

You are not alone. I lived in Thailand for 22 years, was married and have 2 children. I speak fluent Thai and write enough to get by. I have owned 3 language schools, been a headmaster, professor at university and a foreign director. During those 22 years, I cannot recall any intellectual conversation with any Thai person; including my wife! Nor, have I met any other person during that time; that had. It was a constant topic among the teachers (Including the married ones) regarding: What do Thais talk about? Being that I speak Thai myself it was as follows: Gin kao yung (Have you eaten yet?) Sabai dee mai (Are you ok?) Khun mee meir noy rue (You have another wife, huh?) Krub kroa chun yahk goo ngern (My family wants to borrow money) khun ja sue chun tong, ler (Are you going to buy me gold?)

This is roughly transliterated as the Thai language has 44 consonants and 32 vowels - English a mere 26 consonants and 5 vowels. 22 years of this drove me nuts, thank god that I'm now back home in the UK talking with the "grown-up's" once again....

[1FinickyOne]

I have had a ton of humorous conversations with Thai - serious is sort of a bad word here. But I enjoy a good discussion on lottery numbers too - should have gone up one, down one, if I turned it around!!! - I was going to play 36! Gotta say though, I am about equally interested in hamsters… that might not have been a good example.

[mrblue]

lucky you!

[Pattaya Pat]

You are not alone. I lived in Thailand for 22 years, was married and have 2 children. I speak fluent Thai and write enough to get by. I have owned 3 language schools, been a headmaster, professor at university and a foreign director. During those 22 years, I cannot recall any intellectual conversation with any Thai person; including my wife! Nor, have I met any other person during that time; that had. It was a constant topic among the teachers (Including the married ones) regarding: What do Thais talk about? Being that I speak Thai myself it was as follows: Gin kao yung (Have you eaten yet?) Sabai dee mai (Are you ok?) Khun mee meir noy rue (You have another wife, huh?) Krub kroa chun yahk goo ngern (My family wants to borrow money) khun ja sue chun tong, ler (Are you going to buy me gold?)

This is roughly transliterated as the Thai language has 44 consonants and 32 vowels - English a mere 26 consonants and 5 vowels. 22 years of this drove me nuts, thank god that I'm now back home in the UK talking with the "grown-up's" once again....

Enough said. Or is there something wrong with this gentleman too?

[dunque]

Thais are the only nationality I have never really had a meaningful conversation with.....then why every other nationality in the world seems to trust me but not Thai's? No logic in your argument.

Obviously the Thai's are a lot smarter than you give them credit for.....ie in not wanting to have a meaningful conversation with you....might want to think on that!

DNFTT

[ggt]

Whenever an OP starts a thread concerning something less than flattering about Thais...the Thai Apologist's claws come out...let's try to keep it civil...speak to the subject...and not feel obligated to attack the poster...