Some of the best sausages I've tasted in Thailand are made by "The Sausage King" in Chiang Mai.

They don't come partly cooked as the other smallgoods manufacturers seem to prefer.

He's a sponsor so I'm allowed to give him a plug.

Some of the best sausages I've tasted in Thailand are made by "The Sausage King" in Chiang Mai.

They don't come partly cooked as the other smallgoods manufacturers seem to prefer.

He's a sponsor so I'm allowed to give him a plug.

Careful, Walls have ears.

(old sausage joke)

I miss a nice pork sausage. All we get here are the German wursts.

What's wrong with that, I wonder.

Vocabulary:

English = sausage

German = Wurst

Culture: German sausage/wurst = Best in the world. Can be made from pork, beef, or horse (yes). Probably some other meats, but I'm not a sausager, erm butcher.

My point is: I don't think you can get any better sausages than German wurst. And there are some companies around in Bangkok that make good ones.

yes you can - English Sausages

It's a whole different food to them thar wursts.

Juicy, tasty, not chewy, excellent with mash & onions, dip-in-yer-egg scrumptious, many flavours, made of pork (not donkey), from Lincolnshire to Cumberland to the West Country - so many varieties.

Ahhhhh - Ode to the Nossidge.

and with that, i am off to get a UK Pork Breakfast Sausage Sandwich, complete with HP Brown Sauce

It's all about the Cumberland

Some of the best sausages I've tasted in Thailand are made by "The Sausage King" in Chiang Mai.

They don't come partly cooked as the other smallgoods manufacturers seem to prefer.

He's a sponsor so I'm allowed to give him a plug.

Careful, Walls have ears.

(old sausage joke)

And Walls have a lot of old sausages.

I miss a nice pork sausage. All we get here are the German wursts.

It's a whole different food to them thar wursts.

Juicy, tasty, not chewy, excellent with mash & onions, dip-in-yer-egg scrumptious, many flavours, made of pork (not donkey), from Lincolnshire to Cumberland to the West Country - so many varieties.

Ahhhhh - Ode to the Nossidge.

and with that, i am off to get a UK Pork Breakfast Sausage Sandwich, complete with HP Brown Sauce

Shurrrrrupp!!! I've just had lunch - on site - diced meat (dog/cow/horse?? who knows?) with green peppers and rice, cooked the Vietnamese way (carelessly). The sauce is of course fish sauce.

new craze girls are putting vodka jellies up there cun_ts and having blokes suck it out with straws. police are now worried about the effects of minge drinking.......

and with that, i am off to get a UK Pork Breakfast Sausage Sandwich, complete with HP Brown Sauce

Enjoy. I'll have a Frankfurter with my evening beer.

You may remember many of these......

I Owe My Mother

**************************************

1.. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL..

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.

"Because I said so, that's why." ;

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISTS.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA .

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .

"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16.. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home.."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE...

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father.."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

And my favorite:

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE ...

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!!

BT :jap:

My friends have recently been teasing me about my alzheimers.

The jokes on them though, I don't even have a toaster.

An Englishman walks into a bar with two friends: one Scottish, the other Irish. His friends find a seat while he orders at the bar.

A tall, muscular black man serves him, saying I own da place, av got a Mercedes Benz and I <deleted> white women. Whatcha gotta say bout dat?

Good for you! he replies and hastily retreats balancing three pints.

I say, he' s a bit aggressive, he tells his mates. Watch out for him when it's your round Jock.

Jock gets the same treatment: I own da place, av got a Mercedes Benz and I <deleted> white women. Whatcha gotta say bout dat?

That's fine by me mister! he replies and, on sitting down, he says to Paddy Fer <deleted>'s sake, watch that <deleted>. He's a f*ckin? heedcase. Just agree wi im and ye shud be jus fine.

Paddy goes to get his round. After a moment or two, there's an almighty crash as he's thrown straight through a window. Shortly after, the other two are also thrown through windows. As they lie there, bleeding on the ground, Jock says Fer <deleted>'s sake Paddy, what the <deleted> did ye f*ckin say to him I told ye to agree wi im ye daft c*nt!.

To be sure! I did agree with him! He was going on about owning the place and having a big car and shagging white women and that.

Well what the <deleted> did ye say?

I told him, if I had a bar and a nice car I wouldn't shag niggers either.

It's a whole different food to them thar wursts.

Juicy, tasty, not chewy, excellent with mash & onions, dip-in-yer-egg scrumptious, many flavours, made of pork (not donkey), from Lincolnshire to Cumberland to the West Country - so many varieties.

Ahhhhh - Ode to the Nossidge.

a difference indeed. german würste are delicious, english "sausages" are

It's a whole different food to them thar wursts.

Juicy, tasty, not chewy, excellent with mash & onions, dip-in-yer-egg scrumptious, many flavours, made of pork (not donkey), from Lincolnshire to Cumberland to the West Country - so many varieties.

Ahhhhh - Ode to the Nossidge.

a difference indeed. german würste are delicious, english "sausages" are

The Wurste sausages I ever had were in Germany !!!

It's a whole different food to them thar wursts.

Juicy, tasty, not chewy, excellent with mash & onions, dip-in-yer-egg scrumptious, many flavours, made of pork (not donkey), from Lincolnshire to Cumberland to the West Country - so many varieties.

Ahhhhh - Ode to the Nossidge.

a difference indeed. german würste are delicious, english "sausages" are

The Wurste sausages I ever had were in Germany !!!

them Tchermanns sell only wurst Würste to foreigners. why should they waste delicious Würste on people who think a gourmet (american "goremay") is a criminal who gores people to death.

p.s. i expect a shipment of 12-15 kg tchermann wurst (wild boar, deer, smoked and air dried for at least 6 months) on march 2. as i am a bit fed up with most of the rubbish "tchermann metzgers" produce in Bangkok and sell for fancy prices in Pattaya.

pps. because i was curious i bought (Foodmart Jomtien) a variety of "english sausages". of course the expression "sausages" did not apply but some of them (please do not tell anybody) i found quite tasty.

I told him, if I had a bar and a nice car I wouldn't shag niggers either.

vhy not? vhen i liffed in Vest Affrika i vas alvays lusting after their huge boobs oond big àsses. unfortchunately my vife vas not in favour zat i shagged zome of zem... vhitch i zink vas not fair.

Black guy goes on the antiques roadshow with a very rare vase.

Hugh Scully asks, "How did you acquire the vase?"

Black guy says, "It was handed down to me."

Hugh Scully, "Where from?"

Black guy replies, "An upstairs window."

I told him, if I had a bar and a nice car I wouldn't shag niggers either.

vhy not? vhen i liffed in Vest Affrika i vas alvays lusting after their huge boobs oond big àsses. unfortchunately my vife vas not in favour zat i shagged zome of zem... vhitch i zink vas not fair.

Wives can be like that.....

SEX AFTER DEATH

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the

other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no

after life at all.

After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his

word, he made the first contact:

"Marion ... Marion "

"Is that you, Bob?"

"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."

"That's wonderful! What's it like?"

"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's

off to the golf course.

I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more

times.

Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp around the

golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After

supper, it's back to golf course again.

Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and

then the next day it starts all over again"

"Oh, Bob are you in Heaven?"

"No ............I'm a rabbit in Arizona"

BT :jap:

If you've ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts and thinking things through, you will love this!

Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He asked the guy, "How much money do you make a week?"

A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, "I make $400 a week. Why?"

The CEO said, "Wait right here." He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, "Here's four weeks' pay. Now GET OUT and don't come back."

Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?"

From across the room a voice said, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's." :jap:

BT

Made me think of our posters here.

Not every Flower can say love, but a Rose can.

Not every Plant survives thirst, but a Cactus can.

Not every Vegetable can read, but bless it... look at you, having a go...

(If you don't get a laugh out of this one, your "laughter" is broken!)

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance,

HMO paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career

where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.

He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes,

attended diligently, and learned all he could.

When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%.

Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, saying, "I don't want to

appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is

an error in the grade?"

"The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark." After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I've never seen done in my entire career.

Don't mess with us seniors....

Two businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their

soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few

shelves set up.

One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some senior is going to

walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling."

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a

curious senior walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice

asked, "What are you sellin' here?"

One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling a**-holes."

Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "Must be doing well...

only two left."

<BR style="mso-special-character: line-break"><BR style="mso-special-character: line-break">

POSTED ON THE CHURCH BULLETIN BOARD...

Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.

Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Tuesday at 4:00 pm there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed accompanied by the pastor."

Thursday at 5:00 pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.<BR style="mso-special-character: line-break"><BR style="mso-special-character: line-break">

When ever I eat out at McDonald's I like to have a Happy Meal...

So I leave the wife and kids at home.

.......................

A teacher was teaching her class about Punctuation marks.

She asks Leroy, "What do you need to finish a sentence?"

Leroy replies, "Parole."

.................

No Pornhub. I do not want to 'Share on twitter'

.........................

I'm pushing the boat out with the wife again tonight.

Hopefully, this time it'll sink before the interfering coastguard spots it.

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and

spotted a man below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can

you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't

know where I am."

The man below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately

30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude

and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be in engineering," said the balloonist.

"I am," replied the man, "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically

correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is

I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything,

you've delayed my trip."

The man below responded, "You must be in Management."

"I am", replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going.

You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You

made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people

beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same

position you were in before we met - but now, somehow it's my f#&kin 'fault

BT

Rearrange these words:

1) PNEIS 2) HTIELR 3) NGGERI 4) BUTTSXE

Did you read: Spine, lither, ginger and subtext?

Naughty Naughty.

Rearrange these words:

1) PNEIS 2) HTIELR 3) NGGERI 4) BUTTSXE

Did you read: Spine, lither, ginger and subtext?

Naughty Naughty.

Elitist speller !!!!!

RIPPED OFF ON E-BAY

Spent £50 on E-bay for a penis enlarger.

Bastards sent me a magnifying glass !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BT

A TV INTERVIEW WHICH WAS NEVER AIRED IN IRELAND ....

You know there are so many TV channels, each starved of new programs.

In a rural program for farmers, a female TV reporter seeking the main cause of Mad Cow disease, arranged for an interview with a farmer who may have some theories on the matter....

The interview was as follows:

The lady reporter: "I am here to collect information on the possible sources of Mad Cow Disease.. Can you offer any reason for this disease?"

The farmer stared at the reporter and said: ...............

"Do you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year?"

Reporter (obviously embarrassed): "Well, sir, that's a new piece of information? But what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow disease?"

Farmer: "And, madam, do you know that we milk a cow twice a day?"

Reporter: "Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point?"

Farmer: "I am getting to the point, madam. Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits twice a day.... and only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you get mad?"

BT