Worth watching for a giggle..........

Toughest Job in North Korea.

http://www.youtube.c...d&v=gKH1PymutJQ

Sorry Pete can not open ????

Worth watching for a giggle..........

Toughest Job in North Korea.

http://www.youtube.c...d&v=gKH1PymutJQ

Sorry Pete can not open ????

Ditto

After 15 attempts I've managed to fix whatever Pete did to his link above.

My mate told me that I just don't understand irony, which was ironic because we were at a bus stop at the time.

Alanis Morrisette had the same understanding.

After 15 attempts I've managed to fix whatever Pete did to his link above.

Was it worth it?

Shall I bother?

Naaaah!!

Worth watching for a giggle..........

Toughest Job in North Korea.

http://www.youtube.c...d&v=gKH1PymutJQ

Sorry Pete can not open ????

Ditto

Sorry guys, I just copied and pasted.

Try again.........

http://www.youtube.c...h?v=gKH1PymutJQ

-----------------------------------------------

Edit to confirm this'un worked.

My friend likes having sex with goats.

Only kidding

My friend likes having sex with goats.

Only kidding

isLAMB?

Oh fruit!

Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream

..............................

New York. Crush barriers everywhere.

Police officer: If I were you, I wouldn't park my bike here; the president will be here in a moment

Boy: no problem officer, I've locked it.

...............................

I noticed a black guy being stopped and searched at the Amsterdam airport.

I said, "Hey look! Mr T."

He replied, "Yo, you fuc_king racist, calling me Mr T just because I'm black."

I said, "No, calling you Mr T 'cause, you ain't getting on no plane."

.............................

My friend came up to me and said, "That bird you came with ... I think she's a he"

I said, "What ... why?"

He said, "Well when I was stood next to her at the urinal I could have sworn she had a fuc_king Adams apple"

......................

There was an awful smell of shit in the room this morning.

I found out what the stench was when I looked out of the french windows...

France

..................

My son just said, "Dad, can you tell me what gay means?"

"It means to be happy," I replied.

"Are you gay, dad?"

"No, son. I married your mother!"

...............

I went up to this fat bird in the pub last night.

"You're a big lass, aren't you?" I said.

"Tell me something I don't know," she replied with a tear in her eye.

"Salad tastes nice."

A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Irish sausage?"

The assistant replied, "Are you Irish?"

The man, clearly offended, said, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican? Or if I asked for Polish sausage, would you ask if I was Polish?"

The assistant replied, "No, I probably wouldn't."

The man said, "Well then, just because I asked for Irish sausage, why did you ask me if I'm Irish?"

The assistant replied, "Because you're in Halfords."

The bartender says "Sorry sir, we don't allow faster than light particles in here"

A nuetrino walked in to a bar.

Just before my Grandfather died, my Grandmother coated his back with goose fat, he went downhill very quickly after that.

The bartender says "Sorry sir, we don't allow faster than light particles in here"

A nuetrino walked in to a bar.

I always thought a neutrino was a white cat that had been 'seen to'.

The bartender says "Sorry sir, we don't allow faster than light particles in here"

A nuetrino walked in to a bar.

The bartender said all that in 60 nanoseconds!

Working people frequently ask retired people what

they do to make their days interesting.

Well, for example, the other day, Mary my wife and I

went into town and visited a shop.

When we came out, there was a cop standing by a vehicle and writing out a parking ticket.

We went up to him and I said, 'Come on, man,

how about giving a senior citizen a break?'

He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.

I called him an a**hole . He glared at me and started

writing another ticket for having worn-out tires.

So Mary called him a sh** head. He finished the

second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.

Then he started writing more tickets.

This went on for about 20 minutes.

The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it and went home.

We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired.

It's important at our age.

A recent study says that weight loss dramatically boosts men's sexual health.

So start hitting the gym, ladies.

A recent study says that weight loss dramatically boosts men's sexual health.

So start hitting the gym, ladies.

Ain't that the truth, but not so much for Thailand. Judging by what I see daily in Canada I would guess spot on. That is probably why the ads on televison keep pushing Viagra and Cialis.

RIP Steve Jobs. I must admit, iCried.

(too soon)

RIP Steve Jobs. I must admit, iCried.

(too soon)

Would it be wrong of me to suggest that we try to make these jokes about Steve Jobs dying a little more PC?

The bartender says "Sorry sir, we don't allow faster than light particles in here"

A nuetrino walked in to a bar.

The bartender said all that in 60 nanoseconds!

I'm a frayed knot

SC

sorry - I can't be bothered with the whole joke since you all know it already

THE OUTHOUSE POEM

The service station trade was slow

The owner sat around,

With sharpened knife and cedar stick

Piled shavings on the ground.

No modern facilities had they,

The log across the rill

Led to a shack, marked His and Hers

That sat against the hill.

"Where is the ladies restroom, sir?"

The owner leaning back,

Said not a word but whittled on,

And nodded toward the shack.

With quickened step she entered there

But only stayed a minute,

Until she screamed, just like a snake

Or spider might be in it.

With startled look and beet red face

She bounded through the door,

And headed quickly for the car

Just like three gals before.

She missed the foot log - jumped the stream

The owner gave a shout,

As her silk stockings, down at her knees

Caught on a sassafras sprout.

She tripped and fell - got up, and then

In obvious disgust,

Ran to the car, stepped on the gas,

And faded in the dust.

Of course we all desired to know

What made the gals all do

The things they did, and then we found

The whittling owner knew.

A speaking system he'd devised

To make the thing complete,

He tied a speaker on the wall

Beneath the toilet seat.

He'd wait until the gals got set

And then the devilish tike,

Would stop his whittling long enough,

To speak into the mike.

And as she sat, a voice below

Struck terror, fright and fear,

"Will you please use the other hole,

We're painting under here!"

Guess this goes for most in TV, self inc.

Just tweaked it a little far ya:

Just tweaked it a little far ya:

Just tweaked it a little far ya:

For me, its foul language.

SC

God bless Jobs -- http://twitter.com/#!/SexCigarsBooze/status/123583310415933440

Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shoutingpaedophile and other names at me just because my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50.It completely spoilt our 10th anniversary.

Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shoutingpaedophile and other names at me just because my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50.It completely spoilt our 10th anniversary.

Have a heart Ian. This threads for jokes, keep your true life experiences to OSTB...............