I want the change handed back to me.

[OmegaRacer]

Same thing happens to me all the time, in all kinds of restaurants. It happened again just 2 days ago at Shabushi. I asked my wife about it, but she just puts it down to shyness. I don't buy it.

Next time I will ask the waitress directly.

lo! ask the person who is so shy of you she hands the change to your wife!!! that should get you the right answer!! lol

Meh. If they can put down a plate of food in front of me, they surely can put down the change. What's the difference?

Also, I said I will ask (politely and with a charming smile), not aggressively demand an explanation.

Like I said, I don't think it's out of shyness.

[AYJAYDEE]

Same thing happens to me all the time, in all kinds of restaurants. It happened again just 2 days ago at Shabushi. I asked my wife about it, but she just puts it down to shyness. I don't buy it.

Next time I will ask the waitress directly.

lo! ask the person who is so shy of you she hands the change to your wife!!! that should get you the right answer!! lol

Meh. If they can put down a plate of food in front of me, they surely can put down the change. What's the difference?

Also, I said I will ask (politely and with a charming smile), not aggressively demand an explanation.

Like I said, I don't think it's out of shyness.

demand!!! lol

[merlen10002]

I have had a simular problem with the wife. , The wife and i go out to eat together, We both order together. but a few times the waiter has brought my meal before the wife's, I sit there waiting for the wife's meal to be brought but it does not arrive i just sit and sit, waiters come up to the wife and ask is there a problem with the meal, I say yes its cold now because its bad manners to start to eat before your wife, that usually gets a few stupid looks from the Thai waiters and i make them take the meal back because its cold. Is it me .

You must be very new to Thailand, Thai people don't eat one dish each they eat all the dishes that is why the waiter will not give you the two meals together, the waiter is correct and you are wrong, if you were in a western country most people eat Thai food like they eat western food, they eat it wrong but up to them, I had a Thai restaurant in Australia and people always eat one dish each I could not educate them that they missed out on the great part of Thai and Asian food.

[merlen10002]

Always had the bill given to me not my wife, same if I am with a group of Thai people, Thais always know the Farang pays not the wife or other Thais, that is what Farangs are for.

[Costas2008]

Costas, try his

Bill comes and is handed to your wife ... she checks the bill and then passes it to you ... you ask her something in English about the bill and she replies in English (or Thai)... you pass the bill back to her and she pays ... when the change goes back to her she then hands it to you.

That will be very difficult...........I pay, she keeps the change.

That's one of the reasons "I want the change handed back to me"

that last line speaks volumes.

AYJAYDEE, I would like to bring to your attention that there are many other threads on TVF that you can devote your attention and express your intellectual thoughts.

Please, stop littering my thread any more.

[Shaunduhpostman]

I have never had change returned to the wife or other Thais eating with us, though that sounds right in line with the style of service in Thailand.

What happens all the time however is that staff at various places, including banks, department stores etc. will listen to a question from me and look at my wife and reply and try and carry on with her. My wife also doesn't really like it and since I asked, she now says to such people, "Please talk with him he is the one talking to you."

However, even that doesn't work sometimes. I had to get a new atm card the other day. The staff were the sort to not acknowledge having heard requests, which to me is no longer an issue if they respond appropriately. However, they kept looking to carry the interaction on with my wife who would shake her head and point to me. What is interesting is that they were seemingly unable to interact. So, it got me thinking perhaps it is better they talk to my wife in some cases because things just will not proceed otherwise.

To get into the gory details of what happened at the bank, when the staff wanted to defer to my Thai wife, the staff did not speak English, or claimed that they didn't or were too modest to make such audacious claims so I carried the following interaction on in Thai:

"Please make sure the card is the type where it is possible to use to buy internet services and goods." No response. When she hands me the card "Is it possible to use this card to buy things on the internet?" A slight nod. I try again to get more affirmation, "Do you buy things on internet?" "Ka." "Do you use this card?" Confused look and no answer. I let it go and decide to ask another staff member. Another staff member soon steps in to continue the set up on the new card and says "If you like you can add to the card." I ask, "Add what? I'm sorry don't undertstand." He repeats what he has just said and I ask, "Please explain a bit more, you say that I can add something to the card, what can I add?" No answer and a confused look. I know better than to ask, but ask anyway, which likely shut the whole interaction down, "Are you able to understand when I speak?" "Krap." "Ok, please listen again, what can I add to the card?" He repeats that I may call a nummber to add. I flag another staff member down and the staff explains, "You can add to the 500,000 baht limit any time." I ask "Limit on what?" Again this staff doesn't answer the question and just repeats what he's said. I ask, "Limit on the ATM withdrawl amount or the credit or what?" Sort of a transfixed stare and no answer. Finally I ask to see the manager and he quickly and easily answers all my questions without even blinking. What should have taken 10 seconds to answer took 3-4 minutes of awkward and tense interaction, lesson learned just let them talk to my wife if that's what they want.

[AYJAYDEE]

Always had the bill given to me not my wife, same if I am with a group of Thai people, Thais always know the Farang pays not the wife or other Thais, that is what Farangs are for.

not if youre out with a locally well known thai of means and influence

[frank0424]

The main point is that you DO get the change back

Edited October 7, 2014 by frank0424

[JLCrab]

Next time leave your wife at home or send her 'just looking' elsewhere. Simplifies lots of things.

[Neeranam]

First question for the Op - can you speak Thai? If not there's your answer.

Also, are you over 60 years old? That is old here and they maybe think you need help from the youngers.

Did you make the order?

Look at it from the point of view of the waiter/assistant - they regularly see guys come in with Thais and they are like little children who can't do a thing for themselves.

Maybe the kids were talking about you and the waitress overheard.

Are they your kids? I think Thai people, and myself, are confused as why a rich guy would come here and hook up with a woman with baggage.

Edited October 7, 2014 by Neeranam

[AYJAYDEE]

First question for the Op - can you speak Thai? If not there's your answer.

Also, are you over 60 years old? That is old here and they maybe think you need help from the youngers.

Did you make the order?

Look at it from the point of view of the waiter/assistant - they regularly see guys come in with Thais and they are like little children who can't do a thing for themselves.

Maybe the kids were talking about you and the waitress overheard.

Are they your kids? I think Thai people, and myself, are confused as why a rich guy would come here and hook up with a woman with baggage.

why are you confused? I find having kids around is satisfying

[pgrahmm]

In the US they shame you by asking 'do you want your change back?'.

I hate that.

"Do you want your change ?"

Now that you mentioned it, YES!

Happens A LOT in the US....and seems to be gaining in frequency.... a pretty rude and levered entitlement attitude/demand.....

[Krataiboy]

hmmm

i always get my change when i pay.

corner shops to 5-star, they always give it to me first.

It's called having "presence" - an air of authority and importance which Thais naturally, being subservient by nature, naturally gravitate to. Some of us have it, others, alas, don't.

[Torrens54]

Some of the "alleged" Service Staff are as Thick as Three Bricks.To top it off, they are rude and dishonest.

In "another life time here" my wife and I owned a business and employing staff was a nightmare.

My wife worked her fingers to the bone (I of course was FORBIDDEN by Thai Law to do anything much except worry) Staff would run late, they were not interested in LEARNING anything, no matter how often my wife tried to teach them...much easier to sit back and "watch the silly wife of the silly Farang" do all the work.

We were indeed "silly" because we went abroad for One Week, leaving the one Senior Staff member, who we were Silly enough to think we could trust, in charge of the business. She "robbed us blind!"

There was however one thing that our Thai Staff excelled at: Collecting their PAY!!! On Payday, they'd all turn up On Time, Smiling and even be Polite to Customers. Next day, if they even bothered to come to work, they'd promptly revert to displaying Typical Thai Rudeness.

[Costas2008]

First question for the Op - can you speak Thai? If not there's your answer.

Also, are you over 60 years old? That is old here and they maybe think you need help from the youngers.

Did you make the order?

Look at it from the point of view of the waiter/assistant - they regularly see guys come in with Thais and they are like little children who can't do a thing for themselves.

Maybe the kids were talking about you and the waitress overheard.

Are they your kids? I think Thai people, and myself, are confused as why a rich guy would come here and hook up with a woman with baggage.

First question for the Op - can you speak Thai? If not there's your answer.

Yes I can speak Thai.

Also, are you over 60 years old? That is old here and they maybe think you need help from the youngers.

Yes I am, but I look much younger and I am very hansum, so people are not confused with my age.

Did you make the order?

Yes, I did.

Look at it from the point of view of the waiter/assistant - they regularly see guys come in with Thais and they are like little children who can't do a thing for themselves.

I am able to conduct myself in a respectable manner.

Maybe the kids were talking about you and the waitress overheard.

The kids were talking about their facebook as they do nothing else all the time.

Are they your kids? I think Thai people, and myself, are confused as why a rich guy would come here and hook up with a woman with baggage.

No, they are my wife's kids.

I'm not a rich guy, and I believe you will be confused for the rest of your life.

Can't help you here.

Have a nice day.

[AYJAYDEE]

Some of the "alleged" Service Staff are as Thick as Three Bricks.To top it off, they are rude and dishonest.

In "another life time here" my wife and I owned a business and employing staff was a nightmare.

My wife worked her fingers to the bone (I of course was FORBIDDEN by Thai Law to do anything much except worry) Staff would run late, they were not interested in LEARNING anything, no matter how often my wife tried to teach them...much easier to sit back and "watch the silly wife of the silly Farang" do all the work.

We were indeed "silly" because we went abroad for One Week, leaving the one Senior Staff member, who we were Silly enough to think we could trust, in charge of the business. She "robbed us blind!"

There was however one thing that our Thai Staff excelled at: Collecting their PAY!!! On Payday, they'd all turn up On Time, Smiling and even be Polite to Customers. Next day, if they even bothered to come to work, they'd promptly revert to displaying Typical Thai Rudeness.

wow, they sure didnt respect you guys. never seen that in our town.

[AYJAYDEE]

If you don't like the way they do business go back to hellas land, no one is pointing a gun to your head and forcing you to live in some remote village. Nearly all your posts involve bashing Thailand, Greece has some great villages, what is the reason that forces you to stay in Thailand?

How was he bashing Thailand?

You anti-Thai bashing fellas sure are sensitive.

the thai basher defenders sure are INsensitive!

R3tard

in english please

[richard_smith237]

IMO the reasons for this type of behaviour are quite simple...

It has nothing to do with a dislike of foreigners or invisibility etc... these are just paranoid and slightly delusional ideas.

Thai's are not scared of foreigners, they are intimidated by an inability to communicate - It really is just that simple.

If a foreigner speaks perfect Thai then those Thai's around him will feel far more comfortable, this includes waiting staff etc.

There will be the odd occasion where serving / waiting staff have experienced impolite or rude foreigners and that may tarnish their judgement, however, for the most part once staff at an establishment or Thai's in General recognise that they can communicate with and be understood by a foreigner they will become relaxed and more comfortable.

[canuckamuck]

I have never had change returned to the wife or other Thais eating with us, though that sounds right in line with the style of service in Thailand.

What happens all the time however is that staff at various places, including banks, department stores etc. will listen to a question from me and look at my wife and reply and try and carry on with her. My wife also doesn't really like it and since I asked, she now says to such people, "Please talk with him he is the one talking to you."

However, even that doesn't work sometimes. I had to get a new atm card the other day. The staff were the sort to not acknowledge having heard requests, which to me is no longer an issue if they respond appropriately. However, they kept looking to carry the interaction on with my wife who would shake her head and point to me. What is interesting is that they were seemingly unable to interact. So, it got me thinking perhaps it is better they talk to my wife in some cases because things just will not proceed otherwise.

To get into the gory details of what happened at the bank, when the staff wanted to defer to my Thai wife, the staff did not speak English, or claimed that they didn't or were too modest to make such audacious claims so I carried the following interaction on in Thai:

"Please make sure the card is the type where it is possible to use to buy internet services and goods." No response. When she hands me the card "Is it possible to use this card to buy things on the internet?" A slight nod. I try again to get more affirmation, "Do you buy things on internet?" "Ka." "Do you use this card?" Confused look and no answer. I let it go and decide to ask another staff member. Another staff member soon steps in to continue the set up on the new card and says "If you like you can add to the card." I ask, "Add what? I'm sorry don't undertstand." He repeats what he has just said and I ask, "Please explain a bit more, you say that I can add something to the card, what can I add?" No answer and a confused look. I know better than to ask, but ask anyway, which likely shut the whole interaction down, "Are you able to understand when I speak?" "Krap." "Ok, please listen again, what can I add to the card?" He repeats that I may call a nummber to add. I flag another staff member down and the staff explains, "You can add to the 500,000 baht limit any time." I ask "Limit on what?" Again this staff doesn't answer the question and just repeats what he's said. I ask, "Limit on the ATM withdrawl amount or the credit or what?" Sort of a transfixed stare and no answer. Finally I ask to see the manager and he quickly and easily answers all my questions without even blinking. What should have taken 10 seconds to answer took 3-4 minutes of awkward and tense interaction, lesson learned just let them talk to my wife if that's what they want.

Excellent post, I have experienced similar.

But I have to ask, what is the success rate of your wife handling technical discussions for you? My experience has been less than encouraging and I find it necessary to be part of the conversation. I find that the conversation invariably moves off on a tangent and the pertinent questions don't get asked.

[canuckamuck]

Do you ever have it happen to you that you go to shop, for example a coffee shop, and you order in Thai, receive your order, and then they stick a calculator in your face with the amount you owe. I feel like saying, "you should have sign in here explaining that you are mute"

how awful!! god I'm glad that never happened to me. I dont know if I could take it!

No, I think you would admire the ingenuity.

[AYJAYDEE]

Do you ever have it happen to you that you go to shop, for example a coffee shop, and you order in Thai, receive your order, and then they stick a calculator in your face with the amount you owe. I feel like saying, "you should have sign in here explaining that you are mute"

how awful!! god I'm glad that never happened to me. I dont know if I could take it!

No, I think you would admire the ingenuity.

you obviously dont know me

[harrry]

Just keep standing at the counter and when she asks why say you are waiting for your change. If she says she gave it to someone else tell her that it was you that gave the money.

[Estrada]

Costas how many times have I told you that you should wear trousers when you go out. Your skirt only confuses them...

No wonder some ex-pats won't talk to Costas in Tesco.

[harrry]

Costas how many times have I told you that you should wear trousers when you go out. Your skirt only confuses them...

No wonder some ex-pats won't talk to Costas in Tesco.

Well he does walk funny

and wears such nice panties

Edited October 7, 2014 by harrry

[NoshowJones]

Costas how many times have I told you that you should wear trousers when you go out. Your skirt only confuses them...

How will the Thais think when they see a Scotsman wearing a skirt (kilt) Don't anyone tell me to wear one and find out. I would not be seen dead in a Scottish skirt as my wife calls it.

[Neeranam]

First question for the Op - can you speak Thai? If not there's your answer.

Also, are you over 60 years old? That is old here and they maybe think you need help from the youngers.

Did you make the order?

Look at it from the point of view of the waiter/assistant - they regularly see guys come in with Thais and they are like little children who can't do a thing for themselves.

Maybe the kids were talking about you and the waitress overheard.

Are they your kids? I think Thai people, and myself, are confused as why a rich guy would come here and hook up with a woman with baggage.

First question for the Op - can you speak Thai? If not there's your answer.

Yes I can speak Thai.

Also, are you over 60 years old? That is old here and they maybe think you need help from the youngers.

Yes I am, but I look much younger and I am very hansum, so people are not confused with my age.

Did you make the order?

Yes, I did.

Look at it from the point of view of the waiter/assistant - they regularly see guys come in with Thais and they are like little children who can't do a thing for themselves.

I am able to conduct myself in a respectable manner.

Maybe the kids were talking about you and the waitress overheard.

The kids were talking about their facebook as they do nothing else all the time.

Are they your kids? I think Thai people, and myself, are confused as why a rich guy would come here and hook up with a woman with baggage.

No, they are my wife's kids.

I'm not a rich guy, and I believe you will be confused for the rest of your life.

Can't help you here.

Have a nice day.

Strange, the reason I ask is because I used to get this treatment when I couldn't speak Thai but it stopped when I became fluent.

I think the poster who mentioned 'presence' is bang on. Obviously, without having the ability to speak more than 'watdee krap' and 'sabai dee mai' , this would be near impossible.

Thanks, I am having a nice day.

[SoiBiker]

How will the Thais think when they see a Scotsman wearing a skirt (kilt)...

Worst ladyboy ever?

[Neeranam]

Some of the "alleged" Service Staff are as Thick as Three Bricks.To top it off, they are rude and dishonest.

In "another life time here" my wife and I owned a business and employing staff was a nightmare.

My wife worked her fingers to the bone (I of course was FORBIDDEN by Thai Law to do anything much except worry) Staff would run late, they were not interested in LEARNING anything, no matter how often my wife tried to teach them...much easier to sit back and "watch the silly wife of the silly Farang" do all the work.

We were indeed "silly" because we went abroad for One Week, leaving the one Senior Staff member, who we were Silly enough to think we could trust, in charge of the business. She "robbed us blind!"

There was however one thing that our Thai Staff excelled at: Collecting their PAY!!! On Payday, they'd all turn up On Time, Smiling and even be Polite to Customers. Next day, if they even bothered to come to work, they'd promptly revert to displaying Typical Thai Rudeness.

The saying is , "as thick as a brick", or "as thick as two short planks".

maybe try not to be 'silly' - to say that all Thai staff are dishonest and thick is ignorant and racist IMHO.

[NoshowJones]

I have had a simular problem with the wife. , The wife and i go out to eat together, We both order together. but a few times the waiter has brought my meal before the wife's, I sit there waiting for the wife's meal to be brought but it does not arrive i just sit and sit, waiters come up to the wife and ask is there a problem with the meal, I say yes its cold now because its bad manners to start to eat before your wife, that usually gets a few stupid looks from the Thai waiters and i make them take the meal back because its cold. Is it me .

You're expecting western style service in a Thai restaurant?

I would think that if a Thai restaurant has western food on the menu, they should not bring the French Fries first, then half an hour later bring the chicken. That is just stupidity, and I just send them back with the French Fries to get them heated up again. Then they have the cheek to hover round you looking for a tip when it comes to paying the bill.

[NeverSure]

Rodney Dangerfield (1995) No Respect

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4qe4QcymLM