My Thai wife just had a meltdown

[Strangebrew]

Caught with hand in cookie jar. open a joint account figure what is needed to cover household expenses. put that into joint account then open account your name only put rest there. Problem solved. That way she sees she has control to an extent. Or option 2 leave her butt.

[Loptr]

Let one man stand up and say I never told a 'white lie' before.................and if you do your a liar!

Quite a difference between a white lie and stashing 130k+ from your partner's accounts...

Let's put the shoe on the other foot... What do you think your Thai wife would say and do if she found out the you had stashed the same amount from her earnings?

[fey]

you dont say whether she admitted the money was from your account. why did you leave this important info out?

the money could have been from all kinds of weird stuff she got elsewhere.

[55Jay]

I think we should all be aware of the fact that life-long love relationships like our grandparents had them are not in line with modern culture, neither in the West nor in Thailand. Love is transient, a journey from waypoint to waypoint.

Maybe you were just too young to know, and are sprinkling magic pixie dust to fill in the gaps.

People stayed together for practical reasons, same as they do now. Not because love was somehow more real and long lasting "back in day".

[PJcm]

Our wives need their own money, whether we like it or not. I give my wife money and she stashes it. I pay for everything but she still needs her own money. I don't blame her. Stashing is different to blowing it.

Don't your wives work or are you all the landed gentry?

[sipi]

Our wives need their own money, whether we like it or not. I give my wife money and she stashes it. I pay for everything but she still needs her own money. I don't blame her. Stashing is different to blowing it.

Don't your wives work or are you all the landed gentry?

Mine stays at home and looks after the kids. Why should she work?

[nottocus]

Mine too.

[kian246]

Sure, practical reasons are a valid consideration. But my impression is that for many practical problems, there are more efficient solutions. And the "practical reasons-wife" still gets into my way when I have something with another woman for non-practical reasons. With a signed wife, you pawn your liberty.

[EmptyHead]

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Well I've cut her bank access and will stick with it for the time being. But trust is a problem now.

So after a couple of months, what's the update?

[Keesters]

Some, you mean a few.

And you don`t think that this thread also highlights the lack of confidence, flaws and non-empathetic characters of these used and abused farang boyfriends and husbands, the long and suffering, who blame everyone closest to them for their own failures to hack it here in Thailand other than themselves?

I think you are being a little unfair to many foreigners in Thailand who are mostly decent guys looking for love.

And some, don't hang out in bars with hookers all the time (Eg. Number 1 bar).

If he meant a few he would have said so.

[kingalfred]

They are all prone to do this. We will never understand Thais!

[hellohello123]

you dont say whether she admitted the money was from your account. why did you leave this important info out?

the money could have been from all kinds of weird stuff she got elsewhere.

it doesnt matter because she loses face

[KonaRain]

I live in an Asian Culture..sort of, in rural Hawaii.

A pastor, many years ago, said eat crow, and apologize, even tho I'm 'in the right'.

Try to be 'friends' with your wife, to rebuild trust.

I like the life ins. idea.

^^ better than blowing it..^^

A complex issue.try not to worry too much!

Try to let Her regain 'face'..

Best of luck..

[jake335]

What is love anyway? I have an inert desire to achieve what is good for me. And so have the women I am in contact with.

[Daniel Boon]

What is love anyway? I have an inert desire to achieve what is good for me. And so have the women I am in contact with.

G'day jake335, I read you the essence of words and nodded, but then thought about it and now disagree ... (in a non argumentative way; more an observation and interested in yours / or anybody else's thoughts) ...

Having an inert desire actually means incapable of moving or acting ... but I understood the meaning (I think) that you have an underlying desire for what is good for you (or, as you said, as the women you are in contact with, have) ...

I feel that wanting what is best for the person you care for and putting their needs above yours (within reason) is a prime example of love ...

[slightlychilled]

I live in an Asian Culture..sort of, in rural Hawaii.

A pastor, many years ago, said eat crow, and apologize, even tho I'm 'in the right'.

Try to be 'friends' with your wife, to rebuild trust.

I like the life ins. idea.

^^ better than blowing it..^^

A complex issue.try not to worry too much!

Try to let Her regain 'face'..

Best of luck..

Oh please ! if she wants to play the "losing face" card then she needs to marry a Thai guy.

What's the point in rebuilding trust with someone who has no respect for you.

[Mcffee]

The usual countdown and time to make plans for trading her in.

[Mcffee]

Or become a man and give her what she needs.

[Mcffee]

Sit down and have a serious talk with her, what is wrong and so on, good luck.

A serious talk with a woman who has the mental capacities of a six year old? Mehh...

[khunpa]

There could be many reasons for why she is "saving/hiding" the money.

I can not tell you why... BUT I can tell you, that when a Thai-woman freaks out (screaming, crying etc) it is because she has done something bad, got caught and want you to back off. That should tell you to be quite worried...

[ScarpoFongness4U]

At least the money was still in the marital house and not (elsewhere)

[ScarpoFongness4U]

Am trying to figure all this out

But I can't

The money was "accumulated" over a long period of time, and remained intact within the maritial home

And, there is an 8 year old daughter, presumably his.....

What did she do wrong, exactly?

And before the crowd crows,

does anyone really think this was without his knowledge?

[Rod Wallop]

Hide all your money in a Swiss bank account before divorcing

[Mcffee]

Hide all your money in a Cayman bank account before divorcing

fixed

[CALSinCM]

You allow your wife to have access to your account! There's your primary mistake.

[Rhys]

Yikes.... a tough call... here is a possible reality... you have zero baht and she has hidden it... what then..

Act now, tough call.. protect yourself...

Difficult..

[Rob180]

she needed the money to see her farther when he died

that she needed the money for our daughters savings

that if I died (and I’m only middle aged) the money would take care of her

she needed the money to start a business

You my friend are being fed a whole heap of horse sh*t, your being played and I think you know it, she has been putting her fingers in the till for reasons unknown

That sounds rather harsh, but unfortunately for the OP, I do agree with Soutpeel's view. I think you should find out the real reasons (if possible) for her doing this as it's obviously been going on for a long time.Is hoarding this money based on financial fears? If it is, it's understandable albeit wrong because she secreted it without telling you. Or is this money being saved for something more sinister? It certainly doesn't sound good, particularly as you've been married as long as 8 years and have a child together.

[PaullyW]

No offense intended at all but it sounds like the classic "I married an uneducated, poor, lower class woman from an undeveloped country who I share no mutually intelligible language with and who does not work and who is half my age, and now I'm having various problems.

What do I do?"

[MaeJoMTB]

No offense intended at all but it sounds like the classic "I married an uneducated, poor, lower class woman from an undeveloped country who I share no mutually intelligible language with and who does not work and who is half my age, and now I'm having various problems.

What do I do?"

Run.

[Strangebrew]

OP there in lies your problem you married one. Fact Marry a Thai marry whole family. So all in fact you get screwed by one and all. Simple rules to follow. 1. Your just an ATM. 2. We understand the lure to be apart of something the need to feel wanted loved respected granted. But facts is facts see rule 1 2. This is after all Thailand poddy tat abounds Like a Thai taxi miss one another right after. Most if not all are here not for the culture but for the TAT, if they say other wise there lying. So grab a beer and babe enjoy. and remember rule 1. 3. as for things to do and see. do'em. You guessed it rule 1. You don't need a bimbo to prove one's self worth besides cost's twice as much to do stuff see rule 1. 4 That smile you see see is them thinking on ways to screw you out of some baht. Again rule 1 applies here too. Now simple question to ask yourself would you give a stranger access to all your money? As a matter of fact would you give your kids free rein on all your stuff. Ok now again a fact the only person to trust is yourself and keep an eye on him too. Only thing you can be sure of is your hand it won't cheat on you, lie to you, hoard your money, or steal from you and it never gets a headache. Any way good luck.