A complete tale of woe

[loppylugs1]

Fred his name,78 years old from UK <edited> (he will not be reading this,as no computer)

Met a bar girl, 40 something,and after leading him a merry dance, two and three times cheating on him (at the very least) got herself pregnant. Mostly encouraged by myself and others to have DNA reading obtained to no avail,followed the girl ,or should I say woman to a back of beyond place in Issan,built her a house (one and a half mil) and recently a new pick-up. Transpired she leaves him alone all day looking after the baby( a boy aged about 9 months)

Now this guy ,is a stubborn bloke,ended up in endless arguments at offered advice at the time he was deciding what to do,but the girl held sway.

A pitiful situation,could say I feel sorry for him,but payback time at being so bloody stupid. I know he is lonely and isolated,but what a dreadful situation. Stranger than fiction <deleted>

[Costas2008]

People are responsible for their own actions.

Doesn't matter how good your advice is, it can be disregarded.

The man at 78 is happy with the situation he is in.

He is not stupid, he knows what you are telling him is right, but he is content in the world he lives in.

No point disturbing him you will be rejected.

Everybody has different values in life and yours do not match his.

Let him live and enjoy the rest of his life in his own dream.

[Leviathan]

what on earth are you talking about, a 80 year old gets a 40 year old, he's not lucky? he's not happy?

what is wrong with modern human beings today were they just gotta invent misery were there simply isn't any.

im really tired of it today personally, its as if all men not jjust women are unhappy women, mother hen extra specials.

maybe he came from a time were a man kept his wealth, and buying a house after a life of working wasn't to hard for him to do in the 3rd world..

today man has been sold out, that 50 thousand dollar house really is out of most of our leagues after a life spent working today sadly happily sadly

but in reality a bar girl over 22 to me is a foolish fool's waste of time, a 40 year old bar girl?? you mean 40 year old grandmother, imagine the miles on that used car, imagine the windows she's gazed out at in pattaya while back at her customers room and thought 'is this hi enough to do the job for good ol bak si daa here''?

Edited November 18, 2014 by Leviathan

[rgs2001uk]

Well done Fred, living the dream.

All, this for a measly 2 million baht, way to go old timer.

Or in Thai, som nam na, or tham jai,

What bussines is it of yours, or are you yet another Jobsworth, let the old godger be happy.

[champers]

Good friend you are; posting his name and disclosing his private affairs on an internet forum without his permission. If a friend of mine did the same to me, they'd be an ex-friend in double quick time.

[loppylugs1]

Personally i hope this thread is relayed to him.

"Happy"? do not know if the meaning of the word comes to him now,... and who is the more incontinent him or the baby. He is being taken advantage of big style and in all probability will be bumped off as soon as he is drained of any assets.

Not going anywhere poor Fred as he is out of ideas, friends and family and suffering from Parkinson's

[Rimmer]

Not specific to Pattaya so moved to General Forum

[loppylugs1]

Well done Fred, living the dream.

All, this for a measly 2 million baht, way to go old timer.

Or in Thai, som nam na, or tham jai,

What bussines is it of yours, or are you yet another Jobsworth, let the old godger be happy.

"Well done Fred living the dream" Unbelievable how gormless commentators can be can get,actually stark bonkers,lunatic style.

"not my bussiness"(sic) yep pretty damned stupid there,stupid is as stupid does

The dream comprised of continually buying her new bikes, for them to be stolen couple of months later,reappearing after another new bike replaced it,to be given to her "brother", every item he possessed stolen. Shopping that went up 10 fold with her in company,him catching her in his bed with clients,the guy must have been going nuts even then. Can even state the child is not his,why refuse to take part in a DNA?

Sad to see the end of life being taken over by the sheer ruthlessness

[CharlieH]

OP edited to remove name and actual origin as too specific.

[loppylugs1]

OP edited to remove name and actual origin as too specific.

OK Charlie

....but it is so damned sad

[sipi]

Sad story but not specifically Thai. Happens the world over.

[mrtoad]

He's an adult, he makes his own choices, and with that it has it''s own consequences. Maybe he's happy.

This is not uncommon, and it probably makes no difference what you say to him. He'll either learn or bury his head in the sand.

Personally at the age of 78 I can't think of anything worse than having a 9 month old kid.

[WhamBam]

If he does not have some mental / reasoning problems, then it is up to him how he lives his life.

He has been offered advice and gone against it. That is his prerogative.

There are many reasons why he has done what he has done. Maybe he could see the truth but is happy. His happiness maybe not your idea of happiness.

I would not like to be in the sort of situation you describe in the OP, but I am not him, nor am I you.

Recently I was given some information by friends of mine. I have weighed up what they said to me and have made a considered judgement. My judgement was not at all what they expected it to be, yet when I gave my reasons for it, they have accepted it. We are all still friends and can talk without fear of animosity or rebuke. That is what true friends are for.

The OP has given his advice and I for one think he was right to do so. That is definitely better than saying nothing to someone you know. Do not be put off from trying to help others because the advice was rejected.

At the end of the day we do what we want to do and that is how life should be and our friends should accept that.

[NanLaew]

And the purpose of this thread is what now? The usual suspects will be along to denigrate 'spring & autumn' relationships, old and fat farangs, hookers, the perpetual fools and their money, bar stools, the sage advice not to invest any more than you can afford to lose (replete with "it's not rocket science"), the perpetual admonition that you can take the girl out of the bar but... etc., etc., etc..

Did I miss anything?

[RolandRat]

Sad?, yes of course it is, but no one knows the real or true story and its all guesswork.You will have the usual attacks etc as so well described by

NanLaew.

BUT, try this view, the guy is lonely, no family to speak of, thinks he has found his answer and a little love late in his life, and a warm body to cuddle up to at night. The guy thinks that maybe its not too late, so he invests what he has while he has time in what he believes at the time to be the right decision. After all, that's all any of us can do, what we think is right at the time. Now, hindsight gives you 20/20 vision, we are all smart &lt;deleted&gt; with hindsight !

But, maybe this poor chap, maybe, having made that decision to invest in his new life, has now gone too far, he cant get out, he has little left and is in fact trapped. he has invested what he has right where he is, and now has no choice but to live with that decision. No one likes to admit they screwed up, got it wrong, made a poor choice etc, especially here where there are soooo many just itching to say "I told you so".

Just another viewpoint to consider whilst you rip the guy a new one.

[farang000999]

OP you sound like a real nutter. Seek help.

[tingtongtourist]

What the OP says seem a bit judgemental to me.

the guy is 78 for petes sake he has probably done that much running around that all he wants to do now is rest up.

who knows, he may have no other kids and doesnt mind contributing while on the last chapter.

Maybe the girl looks after him ok and he probably reason to himself..ok she not perfect but look at what else is on offer at his age..do yiu think he wants to go to the trouble of looking around for another to look after him and get another whos twice as bad.

What you describe is par for the course on bargirls and how many will take him on at that age who is innocent and sweet and love him ching ching.

haha me thinks that the guy is laughing at you. He probably went there to get away from his best mate,who is now laying the boot in!!

Good on him,he is a guy of 78 years of age that actually survive to a ripe age in arguably in one of the most trecherous environment their is!!

lets see how you go when are that age op!

As many an old codgers has said to the young buck..." you have got to get there yet"!!

[robblok]

If he has been told and has all the info let him live his life.

Later when his money is drained and he is dumped he should not come crying to his friends.

Nothing wrong with old guys paying for it. But they should not complain when she cheats and it goes wrong.

[HooHaa]

who cares?

[willyumiii]

78 years old & still breathing and living in Thailand.

These things alone are enough reason to be happy.

New house,

new vehicle,

new baby,

and a Thai woman almost 40 years younger than him!

These are icing on the cake!

The man should be very happy.

Why don't you let him be and allow him to enjoy himself?

You wouldn't be his child or ex-wife who is worried about losing their inheritance to one of those horrible Thai women who make older men happy are you?

Statements like " 40 something year old bar girl" make me wonder what you know and what you imagine you know.....

Edited November 19, 2014 by willyumiii

[loppylugs1]

If he has been told and has all the info let him live his life.

Later when his money is drained and he is dumped he should not come crying to his friends.

Nothing wrong with old guys paying for it. But they should not complain when she cheats and it goes wrong.

Exactly what will be happening,already stating his loneliness and isolation and wants to return to Pattaya. Apparently she dumps the kid on him for days at a time while she disappears. He was seriously considering returning to the UK before all this

One of his friends contacts from UK regarding his welfare, his family there disowned him through his antics. I'm not physically involved nor wish to be

[DP25]

The best way you could help him would be to introduce him to someone new if you can. He's clearly lonely and that is why he is willing to let this woman abuse him. There are plenty of 40+ single moms out there who wouldn't screw over a nice guy that was willing to help them out financially. There is nothing wrong with a guy paying but he should get a bit of kindness in return, this guy sounds like he's just being taken to the cleaners and will probably be murdered when the money runs out.

[DP25]

78 years old & still breathing and living in Thailand.

These things alone are enough reason to be happy.

New house,

new vehicle,

new baby,

and a Thai woman almost 40 years younger than him!

These are icing on the cake!

The man should be very happy.

It's not his house

It's not his car

It's not his baby

The woman leaves him alone with another man's baby for days at a time while she goes out and screws her boyfriends

He will be kicked out on his ass if not murdered when thinks she has gotten all she can from him

[krisb]

80 year old with a 40 year old girl.

Legend in my opinion.

If he's lonely out there, and you know the guy, drop round once a week make sure he and especially bubs are ok, support him, be a friend.

Long as they are safe, fed, and happy, its all good and its his life mate after all.

[krisb]

Does the guy have a previous family that know about the situation?

[robblok]

If he has been told and has all the info let him live his life.

Later when his money is drained and he is dumped he should not come crying to his friends.

Nothing wrong with old guys paying for it. But they should not complain when she cheats and it goes wrong.

Exactly what will be happening,already stating his loneliness and isolation and wants to return to Pattaya. Apparently she dumps the kid on him for days at a time while she disappears. He was seriously considering returning to the UK before all this

One of his friends contacts from UK regarding his welfare, his family there disowned him through his antics. I'm not physically involved nor wish to be

It could happen, not always but with a bar girl there is a higher chance.

But i guess the cheating is normal in age gap relations guys love sex with sexy younger girls. Girls like sex too and not with someone 40 years older as long as he can accept that the has some guys to satisfy her needs it will be ok.

Its just a financial arangement, nothing wrong with that. I would have put a girl on a monthly salary if i was that age and not buy a house or car in her name.

I know if i ever want it id make sure no house or car on ger name. Just a monthly rent like many guys that pay girls to stay with them. Nothing wrong if the girl is sexy and hot and I am not.

[loppylugs1]

Does the guy have a previous family that know about the situation?

He does have one son in the UK that was actively involved with him,probably another,but ties were cut years ago as his friend in UK describes

He did a fair bit of time in the army serving in Malaya(sia) in the early '60s,supposed the army welfare could get involved if he gets anywhere near like ending it all.

Just sympathy for an old guy totally out of his depth and hardly a way out of it all

He is miles away from me , no chance of seeing him but I know the state he is in

Edited November 19, 2014 by loppylugs1

[krisb]

Does the guy have a previous family that know about the situation?

He does have one son in the UK that was actively involved with him,probably another,but ties were cut years ago as his friend in UK describes

He did a fair bit of time in the army serving in Malaya(sia) in the early '60s,supposed the army welfare could get involved if he gets anywhere near like ending it all.

Just sympathy for an old guy totally out of his depth and hardly a way out of it all

He is miles away from me , no chance of seeing him but I know the state he is in

I see your point mate.

You'll not get much sympathy with most on here, its how it is.

If it bothers you enough to post the story on here, and since you know the guy, then do something about it.

Start by contacting his family if you live to far away.

If it were my Dad, Id want to know and be happy someone took the time to contact me.

[CharlieH]

Callous post removed

[rayongchelsea]

Stopped in sukhumvit 22. Taxi driver opens a door and asks me to help him. There is a 76 year old man in the back totally dis- orientated.Similar background,brought to bangkok from somewhere in Issan, holed up in hotel 27 , wife leaves, hotel kicks him out because they don't want him to die on their premises ..can't find the hotel he moved too...over stayed his visa, doesn't want the embassy to help, petrified of the tourist police....there is a consequence and a darker side..

Stayed with him most of the night in the foyer of the queens hotel, why my mate walked the entire soi 22 looking for his hotel..against his wishes the hotel contacted the tourist police...I left..don't know what happened to him but it did open my eyes to isolated older foreigners and their complete dependency on others.

I doubt he is happy...probably bored out of his skull..the friend wouldn't even bother with this story if he was..

I was struck by his complete loneliness and helplessness in a foreign country at an elderly age..

Their are 2 sides to every coin.