Educated Thai Women Marrying Foreigners

[mogo51]

I read your posts with interest, as I come to Thailand 6 years ago for the same initial reasons, but within 18 months realised that was just a plastic existence and likely to lead to heartache.

I then put a profile together of what I was looking for, but only one difference, I wanted a Filipino instead of a Thai. My basis for that was I wanted someone who i could have a normal English discussion and not encounter language difficulties. Against that, you do not have the benefit of a partner who can negotiate and communicate with Thais - I feel it has been worth the effort.

My gf is a teacher of English/Maths, well spoken and interested in International affairs etc. A more caring and loving person I could not hope for.

I have met several educated Thai ladies and they are certainly a better proposition than 'bar girls' or less educated - but in fairness, there are many good Thais from that socio-economic backgrounds. In other words it is not black and white, but you certainly have a better opportunity for success and happiness in my humble view.

[kkup]

As some others have suggested, online can be the way to go but you need to be patient and know how to weed out the chaff. I found quite a few online who were educated with honest jobs before I met my wife.

[smotherb]

Educated women can be amongst the biggest and most clever scammers. I have oft posted here about my ex-wife, who for the purpose of this post I will name 'Ami'. She was from a poorish family but went to university were she wanted to compete with new new rich friends. She got a degree in Civil Engineering. She could speak passable English and then went on to learn Thai and French. We got married. Lived in the UK for a few years before coming back to Thailand. That's when she scammed me. Lied and cheated her way through what remained of our relationship. Got an MBA to further her career but ended up in a minor public government post. Went to the UK spreading lies about me to all and sundry. Stole money from the bank account. Ami completely broke the agreement we had made about money and then lied when we tried to find the reason behind her behaviour. She was worse than any bar girl. Much worse. At least with a bar girl you know the deal. They work in an open way. She didn;t. She wanted her Honda Jazz (or whatever), her Louis Vuitton by the dozen and all the rest of the hi-so rubbish. She travelled Europe on my money and I nearly lost my house to her. I wouldn't necessarily trust an 'educated' girl any more than a bar girl. Indeed my friend married a bar girl and they are still a happy and honest couple 15 years later.

Well, you wanted an educated woman and now you complain she out-smarted you.

[Berkshire]

Is the OP seriously interested in just "educated" women? If that's his only criteria, there are tons.....but over 40, who'd love to meet foreigners.

Now if he's interested in a hot 20 something who's educated, standby for some drama.

[asdecas]

I suggest you use your common sense just as you would in your home country; there is no magic technique or place to go.

In my thirty years experience here I'd judge that an educated woman is at least as likely to cheat you, scam you, lie to you, be unfaithful to you as any bar girl.

That's not at all to say it's common, it's to say that it happens - perhaps rarely - at every level of society.

If you're talking about having 'things in common' then bear in mind there are entrenched cultural differences - it would be unusual, for example, to find an educated Thai woman interested in discussing, say, politics, in the same way as you might expect a Western woman to do. Educated Thais are generally deeply conservative in their outlook.

You'll read any number of anecdotal stories here and elsewhere on every side of the argument, but since nobody knows you from Adam, how can we possibly advise?

For all we know you could be a smelly, mean old farang with disgusting habits. Or you may be Mr Generosity personified. Or something between the two.

[osten]

Met my wife on a flight from Bangkok to Singapore, where she was headed to visit some senior citizens who she became friends with as a tour guide.

Neither of us were looking, but that's probably why it is working out after all these years.

Good luck in your search.

[KruJA]

Yes, these ladies are out there, (I know, I have one) though not easy to find. Try to find a nurse over 40, become a regular blood doner at a big hospital, (and let them know you are single & looking), do some volunteer English teaching for various organizations and schools (be a little careful of female teachers though, some are bad news). Dating sites Thai Friendly, Goodthaigirl etc. can be OK but filter for a degree, own a house/car and over 40.

You have to start the conversation, they will not, unless they are introduced to you by a friend.

Good luck, but take your time, don't land the first fish you hook, and watch out for the dangers along the way.

[slipperylobster]

Hehe....

Shopping Malls.... just bring some cash, strike up conversation. Offer to buy lunch at Sizzler. Bam.

I met my wife at a furniture store there. She was selling Chiang Mai made wooden furniture. She started in with the questions (in english), and I soon learned I was catching her on the "rebound" from a recent divorce with a Thai man. Successful Resort operator, University Grad, and gainfully employed. She was so happy to have a "good" farang after a marriage where her husband never came home. Turned out he went "Burmese", (Burma lady) and was raising a second family.

Bottom line...stay off the internet, get up close and personal in an acceptable social setting. Sellers/clerks and store owners are a good way to start, as they, naturally, speak to you when you enter their establishment. Nobody looks down on them, as they pleasantly converse. No harm in fielding personal questions, but also, no harm in coming back with an invitation for coffee/lunch. Also, you know if they speak English right off the bat.

[slipperylobster]

oops..double post..

slow internet and pushing the button too fast.

[recycler]

What if you meet a woman, fall in love with her and she fails your education test?

Would you tell her to p... off?

I meet a lot of different Thai woman of all levels of education, but some of the higher educated can be really difficult to deal with.

It might be better to start your quest on less preoccupied beginnings.

[recycler]

Yes, these ladies are out there, (I know, I have one) though not easy to find. Try to find a nurse over 40, become a regular blood doner at a big hospital, (and let them know you are single & looking), do some volunteer English teaching for various organizations and schools (be a little careful of female teachers though, some are bad news). Dating sites Thai Friendly, Goodthaigirl etc. can be OK but filter for a degree, own a house/car and over 40.

You have to start the conversation, they will not, unless they are introduced to you by a friend.

Good luck, but take your time, don't land the first fish you hook, and watch out for the dangers along the way.

You can donate blood only every 3 months, hardly the interval to establish a meaningful contact, but maybe if you go more often you might fancy even the over 60 nurses in the blur of dizziness ;-)

[Suitcase]

Good luck on this one!

Been coming to Thailand for some twenty odd years.

When a topic like this one comes up I ask myself, "why would I want to marry a Thai lady"?

From my understanding most Thai ladies do or want to marry one of their own.

After that relationship ends they are looking towards marrying with a farang.

I do not need a servant as I can cook and clean myself

Furthermore I can not get past the sin sod and monthly payments to all the family members!

For all those people who are getting ready to bash me and tell me to get out of the bars

and massage parlors, I have not been in one for over 20 yrs.

Meet and dated a lot of office girls, nurses, and school teachers but surely

don't need the hassle of marrying one!

[atyclb]

Educated women can be amongst the biggest and most clever scammers. I have oft posted here about my ex-wife, who for the purpose of this post I will name 'Ami'. She was from a poorish family but went to university were she wanted to compete with new new rich friends. She got a degree in Civil Engineering. She could speak passable English and then went on to learn Thai and French. We got married. Lived in the UK for a few years before coming back to Thailand. That's when she scammed me. Lied and cheated her way through what remained of our relationship. Got an MBA to further her career but ended up in a minor public government post. Went to the UK spreading lies about me to all and sundry. Stole money from the bank account. Ami completely broke the agreement we had made about money and then lied when we tried to find the reason behind her behaviour. She was worse than any bar girl. Much worse. At least with a bar girl you know the deal. They work in an open way. She didn;t. She wanted her Honda Jazz (or whatever), her Louis Vuitton by the dozen and all the rest of the hi-so rubbish. She travelled Europe on my money and I nearly lost my house to her. I wouldn't necessarily trust an 'educated' girl any more than a bar girl. Indeed my friend married a bar girl and they are still a happy and honest couple 15 years later.

I have found with any woman , you must set boundaries. What is yours and what is mine. I was married to a good woman but like many men I was too generous and she took that for granted. I helped in her getting a doctorate eventually, When we married she had a High school education. I had two children with her and we lived a well travelled and happy life together but eventually she grew tired of our relationship and put me down the rungs on our relationship. I believe I rated below her cat. Clerks in dress stores knew her by her first name and she had a wardrobe large enough for 3 or 4 women. She drank 1 to 2 litres of wine every day. She is a good woman with a great job but she stopped listening to my sound advice and after 42 years i left.

Moral of the story. Set limits and be sure your lady listens and actively participates in common goals. Do not given an open cheque book to a woman without controls that you regularly check up on. The earlier in a relationship that you do this the easier it will be. My present Thai partner has no access to my money but I am still generous.

"but eventually she grew tired of our relationship" "She drank 1 to 2 litres of wine every day." " She is a good woman with a great job but she stopped listening to my sound advice and after 42 years i left."

Sorry it didn't work out after 42 years.

1-2 litres/day of wine seems to suggest something?? do you know what it may be?

[Turok]

Educated, uneducated, tall, short, black, white, rich, poor, skinny, fat etc..... I am wondering why men are getting married in the first place? Why do men find it so important to marry to todays scandalous skank type of women? Why do you find it so hard to just have fun with them and then release back into the herd?

Don't you have hobbies that you can undertake instead of being some WKOP? White Knight of P---Y!! You mean you want to give up your life of freedom to voluntarily slave yourself out to keep a woman happy? I don't buy it. If men really sat down and thought it through, they would have nothing to do with women other then sex!

Women are not as intelligent as men aren't as creative men and in general not as curious! The last time I heard a woman say anything intelligent, she started by saying," A man once told me...."

Guys, stop voluntarily slaving yourself out to be some hero for a woman who is just manipulating you anyways. Read "The Manipulated Man." Google it.

Marriage to any woman is a losing deal. Sex with the same woman, losing your freedom, divorce payments, alimony, child support.... THink about it. What are the advantages of being married in today's world?

Live an adventurous single life. Get to do exactly what you want to do instead of getting permission from a woman.

Marriage is for suckers.

AMP it up fellas. Women are the crabgrass in a perfectly manicured lawn. Cut them out. Use them for some physical release.... then SEE YA. You do not have to marry them or take care of them.

Turok

[smotherb]

What if you meet a woman, fall in love with her and she fails your education test?

Would you tell her to p... off?

I meet a lot of different Thai woman of all levels of education, but some of the higher educated can be really difficult to deal with.

It might be better to start your quest on less preoccupied beginnings.

Well, if you have any academic credentials, go to universities and look for faculty who are acceptable ladies--many are. Most universities would like to have Western Academicians to speak at their conferences and in their classrooms. Attend some of those conferences or other get-togethers, you will be observed and spoken to.

[KonKorat]

I have a fiance' who is a teacher in a University in Korat,we met on tagged.com but never really chatted on there,then i joined facebook and she added me on there,we started chatting,then skype for 1 year,then i started going to Thailand,been there 7 times to see her,and she has been here to visit me 3 times in Australia 3 months each time,we are engaged now and will marry in 2015.She is so caring and loyal towards me and very smart,I could never get an educated woman here in Australia.you have better chance finding an educated women in Thailand than in your home country and they make great girlfriends and i am fairly sure would make good wife.But don't rush things,i have been with mine for 5 years before popping the big question.

[Toscano]

The term Educated doesn't mean a lot in Thailand . I am married to a university educated woman , head teacher of a school , 54yrs old , beautiful ; but education is confined to her job , I and Falang friends evaluate a bachelors degree as about British GCSE . It is said on good authority that if we spoke perfect Thai it would not improve the conversation as many educated Thais know little about their own country and virtually nothing about any other . Compatibility is really based on the goodness and sweetness of the woman , kindness and generosity of the man . Bangkok would probably be the best place to meet such an educated woman , someone who might be a university lecturer or a business woman , or embassy staff , who has travelled , speaks good English and has something to talk about .

[AnotherOneAmerican]

The odds are ZERO of success with an educated Thai women.

There are a few around, but usually not desirable to Thai men (too aggressive, too crazy, too old, too ugly, too cold in bed, too many children, want too much money, have too high expectations, etc.)

Choose a farm girl, then pay for her to go to school and university.

If you really must.

[kennypowers]

I'm sitting in an office building right now in Bangkok surrounded by lots of educated, friendly, everyday kinda Thai women who would date a foreign guy if they found one they fancied and had things in common with. Oh, and to the poster who said "(not Isaan)", a number of these women in the office are from the North East, some are also from the south, and the north. Not all women from Isaan are poor and uneducated. Moreover, not all of those who were't lucky enough to get a decent education are prostitutes or bad people in any way. Go about looking for a woman exactly the same way you would back home.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

I'm sitting in an office building right now in Bangkok surrounded by lots of educated, friendly, everyday kinda Thai women who would date a foreign guy if they found one they fancied and had things in common with. Oh, and to the poster who said "(not Isaan)", a number of these women in the office are from the North East, some are also from the south, and the north. Not all women from Isaan are poor and uneducated. Moreover, not all of those who were't lucky enough to get a decent education are prostitutes or bad people in any way. Go about looking for a woman exactly the same way you would back home.

I agree with you KP, first disregarding 40% of the Thai women is fairly silly.

Next problem being OP hasn't a hope in hell of meeting any women you describe, and wouldn't have anything in common with them if he did.

(not to mention at 56, chances of him being remotely fanciable is relatively small)

[Zooheekock]

The odds are ZERO of success with an educated Thai women.

Not even remotely true.

The term Educated doesn't mean a lot in Thailand

This is half-true. There is educated, and then there is educated. Meeting a Thai who has a degree (or even a couple of degrees) is hardly difficult - they are handed out almost for free - but meeting someone who counts as educated is a little trickier, though they are around and if you're not an <deleted>, you have as good a chance as anyone else with them. I wouldn't worry too much about not speaking Thai (at least for the reason of finding a partner - though you should of course learn it if you are planning on staying here) as anyone who really counts as educated in Thailand has almost certainly studied abroad at some point (and even if they haven't studied abroad, the chances are that their English is better than your Thai ever will be). How you would meet them, I don't know. I was lucky and met my wife through work, which is not something you can easily copy.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Not even remotely true.

You think a 56YO foreign English speaking retiree has a chance with a decent, respectable, young educated Thai girl???

Are you sure?

[WhamBam]

I'm sitting in an office building right now in Bangkok surrounded by lots of educated, friendly, everyday kinda Thai women who would date a foreign guy if they found one they fancied and had things in common with. Oh, and to the poster who said "(not Isaan)", a number of these women in the office are from the North East, some are also from the south, and the north. Not all women from Isaan are poor and uneducated. Moreover, not all of those who were't lucky enough to get a decent education are prostitutes or bad people in any way. Go about looking for a woman exactly the same way you would back home.

You need to learn to read better.

"Up North (not Issan) I found good women."

That does not in any way imply there are no educated women in Issan. It says I found good women up North, as opposed to Pattaya or Phuket. Taking those two locations into account, that gives North a lot of scope.

[Zooheekock]

You think a 56YO foreign English speaking retiree has a chance with a decent, respectable, young educated Thai girl???

Who said anything about 'young' or 'girl'? He said that he wants to meet "real grown up educated Thai women". Of course that's possible.

[onpermanentvacation]

I suggest you take it easy and spend a few years here before actually getting married.

What you are looking for is much harder to find than an uneducated good woman. Uneducated ones are plenty all over Thailand, some of them very pretty and good hearted. But they will not speak Thai and they will see you as a jackpot for their whole family. You'd have to accept this and learn how to deal with it, while still being in love with her and building mutual trust.

Anyway, general advice: integrate, be social, go to learn Thai at a school. Go to a yoga school. Meetup groups.

If she's under 30, she'll be 100% after your money, at least initially. If she's over 30 she's 2nd hand and may be interested in you genuinely. But still spend some time getting to know the culture and how women see you here. It's definitely not the same as in the West.

I can't say I share experience with those who got lucky through dating sites. For my standard, those women are way below even my one-date threshold. The ones that look like a good catch are fake profiles to keep the site running.

[kennypowers]

I'm sitting in an office building right now in Bangkok surrounded by lots of educated, friendly, everyday kinda Thai women who would date a foreign guy if they found one they fancied and had things in common with. Oh, and to the poster who said "(not Isaan)", a number of these women in the office are from the North East, some are also from the south, and the north. Not all women from Isaan are poor and uneducated. Moreover, not all of those who were't lucky enough to get a decent education are prostitutes or bad people in any way. Go about looking for a woman exactly the same way you would back home.

You need to learn to read better.

"Up North (not Issan) I found good women."

That does not in any way imply there are no educated women in Issan. It says I found good women up North, as opposed to Pattaya or Phuket. Taking those two locations into account, that gives North a lot of scope.

The inverted commas gave it an unintended tone then. Thanks for clarifying. That said, my statement was still something worth noting.

[BahtSimpson]

Encouraging. Lots of constructive and helpful comment. New to the forum and half expected to be shot down in flames for my somewhat naive post. Courtesy is one of the things that attracts me to this part of the world. Seems there may be no widespread prejudice or preconceptions about foreign men as I had feared. Just starting life here and finding my way around. Sounds like my options and prospects are as good here as anywhere. Thank you.

[Loles]

Oh Man.

You need a high educated, minimum 68.976 % Chinese lady from the middle - high class, I guess.

You can ask advise here, cause many mates have wife or GF like this, and if some-one an extremely lucky guy, there are many high ranked army officers in the family also.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Encouraging. Lots of constructive and helpful comment. New to the forum and half expected to be shot down in flames for my somewhat naive post. Courtesy is one of the things that attracts me to this part of the world. Seems there may be no widespread prejudice or preconceptions about foreign men as I had feared. Just starting life here and finding my way around. Sounds like my options and prospects are as good here as anywhere. Thank you.

Your options are way better here,

You can find an attractive woman in her 30s happy to have babies and share your money.

University and high school are cheap, if you want to send her.

Every Amphur has 'catch up high school' running on Sundays each week, free of charge, four years if she left school age 13, then she's ready for university.

Farm girls are great!

[Loles]

You think a 56YO foreign English speaking retiree has a chance with a decent, respectable, young educated Thai girl???

Who said anything about 'young' or 'girl'? He said that he wants to meet "real grown up educated Thai women". Of course that's possible.

Ye, Ye. I guess he would like to meet a 45 - 55 years old lady. 555555555555555555555555555

Of course he wants young girl.

Ask him.