Do you bribe your wife?

[tancred]

Just thankful I had the balls to get out of that childish nonsense,it's something that creeps up on you,paying out money for aggravation,never again.

[snooker4eva]

Do the unexpected!Why take her shopping to appease her,that's just <deleted>,you are entitled to your opinion( which by the way I entirely agree with)tell her you need to get away for a week or so and to call you when her " simmering" has subsided.she will soon change her tone,mark my words.why let her get her get away with her immature thoughts and then expect to get rewarded with a shopping spree to boot??? This is only a temporary solution to the problem,but at least Buddha will be very happy for her!

[MaeJoMTB]

When I trained my dog,

Bad behaviour got a slap, good behaviour got a chocolate drop.

When I trained my children .......... similar.

Wife? ....... I'm not sure.

[lostoday]

When I trained my dog,

Bad behaviour got a slap, good behaviour got a chocolate drop.

When I trained my children .......... similar.

Wife? ....... I'm not sure.

Chocolate contains a stimulant called theobromine (a bit like caffeine) that is poisonous to dogs.

You didn't poison your kids too did you?

[MaeJoMTB]

When I trained my dog,

Bad behaviour got a slap, good behaviour got a chocolate drop.

When I trained my children .......... similar.

Wife? ....... I'm not sure.

Chocolate contains a stimulant called theobromine (a bit like caffeine) that is poisonous to dogs.

You didn't poison your kids too did you?

If we're gonna be nitpicking ........ rephrase that as "doggy chocolate flavoured treat" ....... happy now?

[F4UCorsair]

Is she starving and wearing threadbare clothes?

If the answeres are 'No', as I suspect they will be, NO on both counts.

[streboris]

I believe in my Higher Power (God, as I perceive him/she/it) I respect other people's beliefs whatever form they take. I would not be impressed with a person (particularly if it was my wife) belittling my belief. The least they could do is respect it, as I respect theirs.

Maybe you could forget about bribing your wife and instead use this occasion to learn something about yourself, about growing up and possibly about learning how not to be so rude to the one you possibly love very much..

The argument was about politics/tradition not religion.

Since when did politics have anything to do with superstition and tradition?

Sent from my SM-N9005 using Tapatalk

[lostoday]

Is she starving and wearing threadbare clothes?

If the answeres are 'No', as I suspect they will be, NO on both counts.

She has a good job why would she be wearing threadbare clothes. She is an exec at a multinational company.

[SoiBiker]

Is she starving and wearing threadbare clothes?

If the answeres are 'No', as I suspect they will be, NO on both counts.

She has a good job why would she be wearing threadbare clothes. She is an exec at a multinational company.

Then why does she need you to bribe her with trinkets? Presumably she has plenty of money of her own.

[lostoday]

Is she starving and wearing threadbare clothes?

If the answeres are 'No', as I suspect they will be, NO on both counts.

She has a good job why would she be wearing threadbare clothes. She is an exec at a multinational company.

Then why does she need you to bribe her with trinkets? Presumably she has plenty of money of her own.

Have you ever met a woman up close? Rich women like presents as much as poor women. It's the thought that counts. You know those little things they put in Crocs or me buying fresh crabs for dinner or a new tree for the garden. She likes a certain kind of Thai silk (only comes from one mill). She likes handmade silver flowers (only comes from one old Cambodian silversmith). I could go on but anyone who is married to a woman knows what I'm talking about.

[SoiBiker]

Is she starving and wearing threadbare clothes?

If the answeres are 'No', as I suspect they will be, NO on both counts.

She has a good job why would she be wearing threadbare clothes. She is an exec at a multinational company.

Then why does she need you to bribe her with trinkets? Presumably she has plenty of money of her own.

Have you ever met a woman up close? Rich women like presents as much as poor women. It's the thought that counts. You know those little things they put in Crocs or me buying fresh crabs for dinner or a new tree for the garden. She likes a certain kind of Thai silk (only comes from one mill). She likes handmade silver flowers (only comes from one old Cambodian silversmith). I could go on but anyone who is married to a woman knows what I'm talking about.

It's the thought that counts?

Even if the thought is "My wife has unreasonably taken offence at me rightly criticising her primitive beliefs. How can distract her with something shiny?"

(I'm married, by the way. My marriage doesn't seem to bear much resemblance to yours, though).

[MrBrilliant]

Oh dear.....

[streboris]

555

[streboris]

I'm interested to know if you also come from a relatively privalged background too? Do you consider yourself middle class by western standards?

[kurtramsbottom]

Why didn't you just start the OP telling everyone how wonderful ,educated,rich,etc,.your wife is ,instead of leading a merry dance before you got there!

[MrBrilliant]

Why didn't you just start the OP telling everyone how wonderful ,educated,rich,etc,.your wife is ,instead of leading a merry dance before you got there!

Quite....

I think the word 'wife' in a topic title should be wiped at birth......

What grown man actually needs to post to a forum of strangers that he can't handle his wife.....???

Edited August 27, 2015 by MrBrilliant

[Minnehaha]

arguing or getting annoyed with a person (anyone) is part of the human condition. if it happens often, one has to wonder why.

another way of putting it:

Do you know what you "get" when you are right all the time?

you get to be alone

[lostoday]

She has a good job why would she be wearing threadbare clothes. She is an exec at a multinational company.

Then why does she need you to bribe her with trinkets? Presumably she has plenty of money of her own.

Have you ever met a woman up close? Rich women like presents as much as poor women. It's the thought that counts. You know those little things they put in Crocs or me buying fresh crabs for dinner or a new tree for the garden. She likes a certain kind of Thai silk (only comes from one mill). She likes handmade silver flowers (only comes from one old Cambodian silversmith). I could go on but anyone who is married to a woman knows what I'm talking about.

It's the thought that counts?

Even if the thought is "My wife has unreasonably taken offence at me rightly criticising her primitive beliefs. How can distract her with something shiny?"

(I'm married, by the way. My marriage doesn't seem to bear much resemblance to yours, though).

I guess not. I've never met a woman who didn't like presents.

[lostoday]

Why didn't you just start the OP telling everyone how wonderful ,educated,rich,etc,.your wife is ,instead of leading a merry dance before you got there!

Why would you assume an educated middle class male would not marry a middle class educated female. Lord there are enough problems with cross cultural problems without throwing in class differences too.

I thought it was common knowledge on Thai Visa that all the members had well to do educated wives.

Sorry, I don't think her education and/or economic status have much to do with the thread. She is a Thai and that seems to be the dominant factor regardless of status or education.

She is a woman and likes presents and a Thai and has been conditioned from birth to accept certain things without examination.

[Thakkar]

Most posters here would advise you (metaphorically) to take your big swinging dick out and slap her with it.

But the fact is, you are in the wrong here. Here's why: directly calling someone out on their stupid beliefs is never appreciated. People equate that with calling THEM stupid, even if that wasn't your intention.

Tying it to her being Thai was adding insult to injury.

Remember, belief in Christianity, Islam, afterlife, homeopathy, etc is no less silly, yet billions are on that silly train.

It's not bribing, but mutual understanding that's required here. She needs to understand that you don't think she's stupid (even though some of the things she believes in are stupid--habits of thought/belief instilled over a lifetime are hard to shake off even when we try, let alone when, like most, we don't try). You need to show that you don't think she's stupid--a little contrition will go a long way.

T

[lostoday]

Most posters here would advise you (metaphorically) to take your big swinging dick out and slap her with it.

But the fact is, you are in the wrong here. Here's why: directly calling someone out on their stupid beliefs is never appreciated. People equate that with calling THEM stupid, even if that wasn't your intention.

Tying it to her being Thai was adding insult to injury.

Remember, belief in Christianity, Islam, afterlife, homeopathy, etc is no less silly, yet billions are on that silly train.

It's not bribing, but mutual understanding that's required here. She needs to understand that you don't think she's stupid (even though some of the things she believes in are stupid--habits of thought/belief instilled over a lifetime are hard to shake off even when we try, let alone when, like most, we don't try). You need to show that you don't think she's stupid--a little contrition will go a long way.

T

Good point about mutual understanding.

Love is an emotion I got over sometime between 50 and 70 but I realize an old guy here is better off with a solid Thai woman. I provide a certain amount of security and she does the same. I like her and I think she likes me more as good friends than lovers.

We both have roles and things that she does and things that I do. Gradually I'll be able to do less and she will have to take over those responsibilities like tree trimming or hire it done. I'll provide the funds for my care and hopefully she'll provide or contract the labor. I mention this because I don't have ego tied up in this more like future life planning.

Edited August 27, 2015 by lostoday

[bamukloy]

A bribe to me is attempting to get other to engage in illegal or immoral act. Call it a peace offering if you decide to go ahead with it. Your "reality" is based on logic and rationality, hers is based on religion and tradition, if you reported it correctly. You are both entitled to your own system, and highly unlikely either of you will change. Similar to rational atheist trying to convince Christian that their religion has no basis in science or evidence. Ain't gonna happen. I would suggest you just give her space, kick back and do something you like and wait her out. "You're right from your side, and I'm right from mine. And we're just one too many mornings, and a thousand miles behind" - Bob Dylan

She is not a farm girl. She is well educated from respected universities. If she says something I disagree with I ask a question or present another point of view. If I say something she disagrees with she tells me to shut up.

Get the picture? I'm open to debate or disagreement on any topic. She is closed minded on almost every topic.

Other than that she is a good wife.

"closed minded for debate" is a given trait around these parts, so much so that most folk realise pretty early on.

I got an angry lecture for telling three grown adults that believing in ghosts is nonsensical.

What can you do but take the good with the bad.

the fleas come with dog

hang around a gym and your gonna see some d!ck

ect ect

[MaeJoMTB]

"closed minded for debate" is a given trait around these parts, so much so that most folk realise pretty early on.

I got an angry lecture for telling three grown adults that believing in ghosts is nonsensical.

What can you do but take the good with the bad.

I've seen a ghost, my wife was with me and also saw it.

We are both adults, one with a degree and postgrad., one studying for a degree.

You would have had the angry lecture from us too.

[nidieunimaitre]

I am curious do you consider Western beliefs about virgin births etc to be true?

If so you owe her an apology for thinking your beliefs are more true than hers.

If you operate purely on logic and science then you still owe her an apology for your lack of sensitivity as it does not matter if her beliefs are true, they are her beliefs and she is your wife and the love of your life (hopefully).

In the end a thoughtful discussion and understanding combined with mutual respect is what is needed not a bribe.

Who in the west in 2015 believes in virgin births?

[MaeJoMTB]

I am curious do you consider Western beliefs about virgin births etc to be true?

If so you owe her an apology for thinking your beliefs are more true than hers.

If you operate purely on logic and science then you still owe her an apology for your lack of sensitivity as it does not matter if her beliefs are true, they are her beliefs and she is your wife and the love of your life (hopefully).

In the end a thoughtful discussion and understanding combined with mutual respect is what is needed not a bribe.

Who in the west in 2015 believes in virgin births?

Not to mention evolution, global warming, men walking on the moon ............

[streboris]

A bribe to me is attempting to get other to engage in illegal or immoral act. Call it a peace offering if you decide to go ahead with it. Your "reality" is based on logic and rationality, hers is based on religion and tradition, if you reported it correctly. You are both entitled to your own system, and highly unlikely either of you will change. Similar to rational atheist trying to convince Christian that their religion has no basis in science or evidence. Ain't gonna happen. I would suggest you just give her space, kick back and do something you like and wait her out. "You're right from your side, and I'm right from mine. And we're just one too many mornings, and a thousand miles behind" - Bob Dylan

She is not a farm girl. She is well educated from respected universities. If she says something I disagree with I ask a question or present another point of view. If I say something she disagrees with she tells me to shut up.

Get the picture? I'm open to debate or disagreement on any topic. She is closed minded on almost every topic.

Other than that she is a good wife.

"closed minded for debate" is a given trait around these parts, so much so that most folk realise pretty early on.

I got an angry lecture for telling three grown adults that believing in ghosts is nonsensical.

What can you do but take the good with the bad.

the fleas come with dog

hang around a gym and your gonna see some d!ck

ect ect

You assume to know that there is nothing metaphysical in this existence.

That's hardly open minded.

Sent from my SM-N9005 using Tapatalk

[ozyjon]

She bribed me for long enough

eventually i left, now i get,

please come back me love (bribe)

you long time, <deleted> off. NEVER

[Laza 45]

You need to have a little bit of respect for her culture and heritage.what is superstitious nonsense to you is part of her life.. and has been in Thai culture (and SE Asia culture) for a very long time... wanting her to understand and accept your wold view is f*****... either accept that Thai culture is different.. or go home where everything is 'normal'..

[chilli42]

I suggest you reverse the whole thing with it ending by her walking out. Just grow a pair and try it out. There is no downside.

[Exsexyman]

Why didn't you just start the OP telling everyone how wonderful ,educated,rich,etc,.your wife is ,instead of leading a merry dance before you got there!

HaHa. Oh yes, aren't anonymous internet forums grand!