Screwed up, need help

[Frogmountain]

We are Americans who applied to adopt a child through the DSDW. We recently were matched and took custody of a Thai child, however we didn't realize we were supposed to file the I800a before we took custody of her. Now we are being told we have to remain in country another two years before we can get U.S. citizenship for her. However, we have a job transfer coming up before then. Anyone ever dealt with this situation and gotten around it? Thanks.

[gamini]

I don't quite understand your post. I adopted my wife's niece and took her out of the country and traveled everywhere. we lived in Singapore for a while and then I sent her to boarding school in Malaysia. She still holds a Thai passport but it's never been a problem. Why is it necessary for her to have an American citizens ship. Surely you can apply for that later and not have to stay here for two years to get it. Or do you mean two years in the United States.?

[Srikcir]

'we are being told'

By the US Embassy? If not contact them directly.

[PattayaPhom]

I don't quite understand your post. I adopted my wife's niece and took her out of the country and traveled everywhere. we lived in Singapore for a while and then I sent her to boarding school in Malaysia. She still holds a Thai passport but it's never been a problem. Why is it necessary for her to have an American citizens ship. Surely you can apply for that later and not have to stay here for two years to get it. Or do you mean two years in the United States.?

The OPs situation is slightly different in that you adopted a family member also the US require I-800a whereas you travelled to Singapore. There are many adoption forums online with an abundance of information, contacts and support. Hope you get it sorted.

[oxo1947]

Are you the Gay couple that have been in the news of late.................???

[Sheryl]

Since they are both US citizens, obviously not.

The US requires prior approval to adopt a child from a foreign country. Not only do they have to submit a Form 1-800A but after it is approved there is another form, 1-800 that also has to be submitted and approved and both steps are supposed to be completed prior to taking custody of the child.

Without this the adoption will not be recognized in the US and from what OP says, they live in the US.

It is not just a matter of getting the child US citizenship it is of being able to bring the child with them to the US, period. And not only that -- the Thai authorities cannot finalize the adoption until they receive the go-ahead from the US Government to do so.

I don't know where the 2 years part is coming from, though. Is that the estimated time required to complete this paperwork? You are not going to be able to circumvent these requirements but there might be a way to expedite the time it takes.

Best advice I can give is to contact a lawyer specializing in international adoptions.

And start thinking in terms of contingency plans i.e. how one or the other of you could stay in Thailand until the formalities are completed. Having taken in the child already you understandably do not want to separate from him/her....though if it is a young infant (too young to remember) you might want to consider letting the adoption agency take the child back until you have gone through the required paperwork. Assuming oif course you have confidence in the quality of the care they provide.

[Harveyg]

"though if it is a young infant (too young to remember) you might want to consider letting the adoption agency take the child back until you have gone through the required paperwork"

Sorry a bit off track, but I don't agree w the above. The body remembers all. Through a particular healing work I was able to feel trauma going back to birth and in the womb - multiple times over 20 years. The most vulnerable times of life can register the deepest traumas. I have no doubt the child already carries, unconsciously at least for now, the separation from her birth mother.

[csabo]

"though if it is a young infant (too young to remember) you might want to consider letting the adoption agency take the child back until you have gone through the required paperwork"

Sorry a bit off track, but I don't agree w the above. The body remembers all. Through a particular healing work I was able to feel trauma going back to birth and in the womb - multiple times over 20 years. The most vulnerable times of life can register the deepest traumas. I have no doubt the child already carries, unconsciously at least for now, the separation from her birth mother.

5555555555555555555555555breath55555555555555555555555breath5555555555555555555555

[FangFerang]

"though if it is a young infant (too young to remember) you might want to consider letting the adoption agency take the child back until you have gone through the required paperwork"

Sorry a bit off track, but I don't agree w the above. The body remembers all. Through a particular healing work I was able to feel trauma going back to birth and in the womb - multiple times over 20 years. The most vulnerable times of life can register the deepest traumas. I have no doubt the child already carries, unconsciously at least for now, the separation from her birth mother.

You took too many New Age pills. Science does not support your statements whatsoever.

[wanderluster]

"though if it is a young infant (too young to remember) you might want to consider letting the adoption agency take the child back until you have gone through the required paperwork"

Sorry a bit off track, but I don't agree w the above. The body remembers all. Through a particular healing work I was able to feel trauma going back to birth and in the womb - multiple times over 20 years. The most vulnerable times of life can register the deepest traumas. I have no doubt the child already carries, unconsciously at least for now, the separation from her birth mother.

and i disagree with you... if you can remember something from the womb then "i think" that you might be some kind of a freak of nature.. not saying anything bad... i was adopted at birth and dont have any memories younger than maybe 3 yrs old.. I also met my birth mother when i was in my 20s, and no Oprah hugs and kisses thing,, had zero feelings for this lady, she was just another lady in the world, but gave up 9 months for me.. her decision not mine. do i sound cold, perhaps,, genetics or enviroment? good question.. but that is why i am in pattaya, perfect fit for someone like myself

[timendres]

"though if it is a young infant (too young to remember) you might want to consider letting the adoption agency take the child back until you have gone through the required paperwork"

Sorry a bit off track, but I don't agree w the above. The body remembers all. Through a particular healing work I was able to feel trauma going back to birth and in the womb - multiple times over 20 years. The most vulnerable times of life can register the deepest traumas. I have no doubt the child already carries, unconsciously at least for now, the separation from her birth mother.

You took too many New Age pills. Science does not support your statements whatsoever.

The human brain is a wonderfully complex and powerful instrument that we still do not fully comprehend. We are perpetually amazed at it's capacity and complexity, despite our ever increasing understanding of it's function. So I cannot confidently state that we have absolutely no memories of time in the womb of any sort.

That said, I am really tired of the modern day pussies that think life needs to be managed towards some idealistic perfection, and that any little trauma can be irreparably damaging to the psyche. I can list numerous traumas in my life that I fully remember both consciously (and, I'm sure, subconsciously). They have had both negative and positive consequences. The human mind and body are quite strong and capable, and there are without question traumas that make us stronger, better people. Sick and tired of pussies that baby their children into growing up to be bigger pussies!

Provide your child a positive life with good parenting that prepares them for a lifetime of opportunity and experiences, and your child will be a happy human being who will love you, despite any possible buried traumatic memories of early separation.

Geez....

And, csabo, your "55555breathe55555breathe5555" reply absolutely made my day.

[FritsSikkink]

"though if it is a young infant (too young to remember) you might want to consider letting the adoption agency take the child back until you have gone through the required paperwork"

Sorry a bit off track, but I don't agree w the above. The body remembers all. Through a particular healing work I was able to feel trauma going back to birth and in the womb - multiple times over 20 years. The most vulnerable times of life can register the deepest traumas. I have no doubt the child already carries, unconsciously at least for now, the separation from her birth mother.

[jaybas]

I remember once while still in my mothers womb, I was kicking back, just kinda floating along having a great day. Then all of a sudden, mom was sending down ocra, I kicked and stomped until she stopped eating that crap. To this day, I hate ocra.

Edited October 15, 2015 by jaybas

[cocopops]

"though if it is a young infant (too young to remember) you might want to consider letting the adoption agency take the child back until you have gone through the required paperwork"

Sorry a bit off track, but I don't agree w the above. The body remembers all. Through a particular healing work I was able to feel trauma going back to birth and in the womb - multiple times over 20 years. The most vulnerable times of life can register the deepest traumas. I have no doubt the child already carries, unconsciously at least for now, the separation from her birth mother.

You took too many New Age pills. Science does not support your statements whatsoever.

Certainly he is speculating a bit.

But perhaps so are you. Do you have a link that documents any attempt to scientifically verify or rebut the idea that events experienced when very young affect ones personality later on?

[Darrell604]

The original poster did not provide enough information to enable others to accurately answer. For example, there are two types of adoptions; Inter-country and domestic. Different sets of rules apply, depending on which type adoption is being done and what countries are involved. It sounds like this is a domestic adoption, as a two year 'holding' period is mentioned. The two year period is what the USA requires before allowing the child to be brought to the US as an immigrant.

Inter-country is entirely different as the Hague Convention applies to adopting children from countries that have signed off on it. Thailand and the US both are signees. It is very complicated and expensive.

[ableguy]

"though if it is a young infant (too young to remember) you might want to consider letting the adoption agency take the child back until you have gone through the required paperwork"

Sorry a bit off track, but I don't agree w the above. The body remembers all. Through a particular healing work I was able to feel trauma going back to birth and in the womb - multiple times over 20 years. The most vulnerable times of life can register the deepest traumas. I have no doubt the child already carries, unconsciously at least for now, the separation from her birth mother.

Suspect you also believe in black magic fortune telling, lucky lottery numbers from scamming monks ?

[Sheryl]

The original poster did not provide enough information to enable others to accurately answer. For example, there are two types of adoptions; Inter-country and domestic. Different sets of rules apply, depending on which type adoption is being done and what countries are involved. It sounds like this is a domestic adoption, as a two year 'holding' period is mentioned. The two year period is what the USA requires before allowing the child to be brought to the US as an immigrant.

Inter-country is entirely different as the Hague Convention applies to adopting children from countries that have signed off on it. Thailand and the US both are signees. It is very complicated and expensive.

They are Americans adopting a Thai child whom they intend to bring back to the US. And the forms they refer to are exactly the forms required when adopting from a country which signed the Hague Convention.

[simon43]

Sorry a bit off track, but I don't agree w the above. The body remembers all. Through a particular healing work I was able to feel trauma going back to birth and in the womb - multiple times over 20 years. The most vulnerable times of life can register the deepest traumas. I have no doubt the child already carries, unconsciously at least for now, the separation from her birth mother.

Ah, now I understand the title of this thread...

[Patsycat]

Ah, re-birthing. When, as an adult, they roll you round in a sheet and spit you out of the end.

I met a cooky american woman once who had done that. She told me that she felt great after it, all her problems had been solved.

Load of crap. Maybe i should get my 86 year old mother to go through my birth again with me. Think not!!