Oh those subservient Thai ladies!

[Inspire]

Oh those subservient Thai ladies!


Welcome to “Every Picture Tells a Story”; a weekly post about living in Thailand. Each week we’ll post a picture that illustrates some of the best parts about living in Thailand.

When I announced to the family I’d be moving to Thailand, my sister rolled her eyes. “Oh, you just want to go find a subservient Thai woman and enslave her”. She actually used the word “enslave”. No amount of argument could convince her of any other intention. “That’s what all men want” she added. Such are the attitudes of many a pinch-faced shrew from my home country.

I must admit, the presence of Thai females in Thailand was neither a surprise nor a discouragement while considering the move. But, I always suspected the “subservient female” thing to be a myth. As it turns out, I was right.

My first girlfriend here was a rich girl who drove a Mercedes and traded properties like she was playing Monopoly. She is easily the most jealous and manipulative creature I’ve ever met. My every move was monitored and reported; it was like living with a CSI investigator. Any docile wife fantasies I may have had were squelched on the first outing.
For 7 years I was married to a beautiful Thai woman. I consider it 5 of the best years of my life. That was the approximate ratio of good to awful … 5 to 2. When your Thai wife wants something, there is no negotiating. They make your life great 5 out of 7 days so they figure you owe them anyway.

Full story: http://www.inspirepattaya.com/lifestyle/oh-subservient-thai-ladies/

-- Inspire Pattaya 2016-04-16

[CharlieH]

"When your Thai wife wants something, there is no negotiating. They make your life great 5 out of 7 days so they figure you owe them anyway"

Yours might, but dont tar all "Thai Wives" with the same brush.

[pgrahmm]

No subservience in our household by any of us - we don't play the iron fist/dominant/manipulation/or have my way games/battles........

Doubt if the bad days would add up to 3 a year....

Just doesn't happen.....

[sipi]

I have tried to reply to this four times and messed up the wording four times.

Ok here goes...

Frankly the best thing I ever did was meet my Mrs.

[Rob8891]

Each week we’ll post a picture that illustrates some of the best parts about living in Thailand. ............. and so we see a photo of some poor girl who looks as if face is peppered with shrapnel. If this represents what you deem to be the best part of living in Thailand, then you have my sympathy.

Base your article on your own choices and experiences by all means, but please do not lump everyone into that same unhappy boat. In common with the three previous posters, your article bears no resemblance whatsoever to life in this household.

Edited April 16, 2016 by Rob8891

[rogeroc]

I have dated Filipina, Vietnamese and Thai ladies both in the UK and overseas, i have not found any of them to be subservient and what a good thing that is.

I wonder where the suggestion of subservience in women from certain Nationalities came from. My guess is Western women (or movements allegedly fighting their cause) wrongly labelling (women who still knows how to cook, women who wants to please their partner and women who accept that men and women are genetically different) as being subservient.

[AZBill]

You got the wrong girl! My wife is nothing like that.

[macksview]

my experience after 10 years.

good days so many

bad days a few, mainly because of my actions

loyal, strong opinions, financially responsible.

subserviant never, equals in our relationship.

[SunSeek01]

I found out when I married for the first time, females can be really emotional at times. I think all the other dudes out there knew it a long time ago. Lucky for me, the great one I'm married to only goes off the scale about once every month or so, not lined up with mens, it's completely mysterious at least to me ! Worth it 100% Had 5 good ones in the US, all had issues.

[1FinickyOne]

A Thai lady once told me - the only reason a Thai lady walks behind her man is to keep him in line with a stick...

And sorry to break the stereotype but I have a Thai wife who is appreciative, non-demanding and not subservient in any way.

[alant]

What about your sister? I don't see any reference to the research she had undertaken to make this statement. Presumably she spent quite a while in Thailand before returning home and advising you on the perils of Thailand?

[Caspersfriend]

"When I announced to the family I’d be moving to Thailand, my sister rolled her eyes. “Oh, you just want to go find a subservient Thai woman and enslave her”. She actually used the word “enslave”. No amount of argument could convince her of any other intention. “That’s what all men want” she added. Such are the attitudes of many a pinch-faced shrew from my home country."

Quite clearly you see your sister as a pinch-faced shrew. Bet she's looking forward to your next visit - or have you burnt all of your bridges and never even visiting?

[SOTIRIOS]

.....they are a lot smarter than you might think.....

[1FinickyOne]

Is this what passes for journalism down Pattaya way? Click-bait articles playing on clichéd, threadbare stereotypes of the kind that have been around at least since Constantine Phaulkon arrived, probably before?

They do not make for "inspirational" reading.

Wow - A Phaulkon reference so many years beyond his time... somebody knows some history... good for you. Though before it was mostly missionaries I think... and they likely thought everyone should at least be subservient to them - - an arrogance that they paid dearly for... but you know that...

nice post.

[jeffreysearch]

I have dated Filipina, Vietnamese and Thai ladies both in the UK and overseas, i have not found any of them to be subservient and what a good thing that is.

I wonder where the suggestion of subservience in women from certain Nationalities came from. My guess is Western women (or movements allegedly fighting their cause) wrongly labelling (women who still knows how to cook, women who wants to please their partner and women who accept that men and women are genetically different) as being subservient.

Yes i think women in the West think that any woman who doesnt do as they do and act towards men in western culture ... are only subervient to us men because they have this idea they are more `Supreme than asian women .. from poorer countries.. maybe that was the case in the past.. but Asia has moved on since then .... Western women havnt ... in my opinion. What is in there minds .. is how the world really works ....

[Tchooptip]

Caricatured Thai women and rightly illustrated with a caricature photo

[islandguy]

A great take on the supposed subservience of Asian women, was given to my by the graduate student teaching a lab class I took at Uni. His wife was one of the first Thai women I met married to an American. When I asked him about this stereotype, he got a pained look on his face (probably tired of the question) and said that the difference between his wife and a standard American woman in this regards was that when they had company over and he said something stupid, instead of telling him so on the spot she waited until their guests had left before letting him have it..........

[Kabula]

Women worldwide are more independent! Over the years it took two incomes to cover expenses. That began the female Independence and the end of most happy marriages. The domestic family defunction began. I've lived here in Thailand for going on 10 years. Most women in the city now are independent in my opinion. Social media and actresses lead them on thinking Independence is the way to go. The happiest women I knew were 60 years ago when they were married to their first love of their life when they met in high school or earlier. The more children they had the happier many were. The village I grew up in CT had no divorces I heard of until I was 21. In my opinion most women worldwide today are confused, angry, cheaters,unappreciative, substance/alcohol abusers, and better dealers with the Internet single sites. There is a major polorization between male and female with more and more wanting to have sex changes. In most countries today if a male has sex with his maid, he will have to find another to get a proper cleaning done in the future! There is pressure from Thai families for the daughters to go to the cities to earn money to support the family. This creates many relationship problems. In my opinion trying to find a subservient woman today for any length of time today would be like finding a needle in a haystack. One might find success if they ran across a female running an ad in social media for, "Rent a Slave." They would find the slavery would end after one hour! I believe most mature women will agree with this post. However, the younger ones might disagree as many are in denial.

[alski333]

I have had 3 thai girlfriend's. The first one we had a mutual understanding of each other and had some great times no bad days. The 2nd was fully subservient and I couldn't handle it. The 3rd was subservient to a degree wanting me to be happy but at the same time she was very stubborn, she is the only one wanting money. So from that I say everyone is different.

[elgordo38]

my experience after 10 years.

good days so many

bad days a few, mainly because of my actions

loyal, strong opinions, financially responsible.

subserviant never, equals in our relationship.

Yes I have to agree mine is about the same. Of course it took some time to find her. She is very young but wise beyond her years. Kind and gentle. My daughter felt the same way when I came here that I was looking for a subservient woman. Still does. I like this thread although the picture disturbs me.

Edited April 17, 2016 by elgordo38

[fiddlehead]

My wife always does the cleaning: dishes, house and clothing.
When she came with me to America and made some friends, they got around to telling her that we should share doing these things and it should all be equal.
I don't take her back there anymore.

She's happy.
I'm happy.

[SantiSuk]

Give me caring, I don't want subserviant!

[smotherb]

I think many Western women, and men, are confused about the subservience of Asian, not just Thai, women. If a man is not just a long-time customer and actually has a loving relationship with an Asian woman, she will go out of her way to promote her man, especially in public or in front of friends. It may be a matter of face, to bring honor to the family. She will not denigrate her man in front of people—as many Western women do.

The first time I really noticed this was in Hawaii, soon after my Vietnamese wife and I were married. I had met an old friend at the airport that day, and we went out for a few drinks. We got back to my house about 3am. My wife had fixed-up the spare room and asked if we wanted breakfast. My friend was taken aback. My wife was not upset; we were pretty drunk and were supposed to be home much earlier. On the contrary, even though we woke her from sleep, she was very friendly and welcoming to this old friend of mine she had never met. To me, that was just her, but to him, she was a goddess, a saint. He said he had never met a woman so wonderful, so accommodating, so subservient.

I had to laugh, wonderful and accommodating yes, subservient, not in a long shot. In fact, she usually called the shots in our relationship. She was older than I, better educated, and earned more money. She treated me that way because she loved me and she wanted everyone to know I was such a good man I deserved such treatment. However, when I did f-u, she would let me have it, in private, of course. She would never belittle me in front of anyone.

[smotherb]

My wife always does the cleaning: dishes, house and clothing.

When she came with me to America and made some friends, they got around to telling her that we should share doing these things and it should all be equal.

I don't take her back there anymore.

She's happy.

I'm happy.

I brought two Asian wives to the States. Both spoke English well and had American women friends who told them the same things--don't be subservient, share the housework, act upset so you get your own way, etc., ad infinitum. Neither listened to the harbingers. I prefer a woman who wants to take care of me and not do it just because I am her meal ticket.

[Blue Muton]

No subservience in our household by any of us - we don't play the iron fist/dominant/manipulation/or have my way games/battles........

Doubt if the bad days would add up to 3 a year....

Just doesn't happen.....

Pretty much the same here - although there are a couple of things where I've put my foot firmly down and she has gone along with them:

When she started driving I insisted that she turns off her phone as soon as she gets in the car (when she's driving) and let her family know that she can't take calls when driving.

That anybody who gets in our car wears a seatbelt no matter how far or near we're travelling, or we simply don't go.

There have been a couple of times where she's not wanted to do something and she's used the excuse that I don't want her to do it, which I guess is a play on subservience. We have the odd minor spat, often joking, which her family find amusing but sometimes afterwards they ask her why she doesn't just do as I say. Little hope of that and I wouldn't want it to be the case other than the above.

Two bad days a week? make that a couple in five years.

[Bantex]

My wife always does the cleaning: dishes, house and clothing.

When she came with me to America and made some friends, they got around to telling her that we should share doing these things and it should all be equal.

I don't take her back there anymore.

She's happy.

I'm happy.

Sounds like her American friends didn't want their husbands finding out what a caring wife is really like.

[ozyjon]

and then,,,,

[bazza40]

I've lived with my Thai GF for 6 years now. She is playful, affectionate and caring.

Definitely not subservient. She knows there are certain things with me which are non-negotiable, just as I know she has non-negotiables as well.

She keeps asking me to find a falang for her daughter. That's because her former husband was the whole nine yards - a drunk, abusive and an unsuccessful gambler to boot.

IMHO Thai women are not subservient. They are just more subtle than Western women at getting what they want, and knowing when to retreat.

[1FinickyOne]

my experience after 10 years.

good days so many

bad days a few, mainly because of my actions

loyal, strong opinions, financially responsible.

subserviant never, equals in our relationship.

Yes I have to agree mine is about the same. Of course it took some time to find her. She is very young but wise beyond her years. Kind and gentle. My daughter felt the same way when I came here that I was looking for a subservient woman. Still does. I like this thread although the picture disturbs me.

Sure Gordo - the picture looks like someone who did not take advice from anyone...

[Khon Kaen Dave]

My mrs is very far from subservient.She is her own person and stands no shit from anyone.Especially her family,who were very pissed off when she explained to them that the only woman i would be taking care of would be her.But i had to laugh,when she followed a drunken Swede that didnt want to pay his bill in our bar one night.I heard her yelling and from what i could equate it to was." if you dont pay your bill,i will put my hand down your throat and pull your freakiin lungs out"

Subservient?? don't be ridiculous!