Friend has Alzeimers-is alone

[elgenon]

My friend lives in Pattaya. I just found out he has Alzeimers. The GF and her son he has taken good care of have gone to Bangkok. He is alone and can't drive or use his computer. He said he is looking for some one who can care for him. Any good and helpful ideas would be appreciated.

Please don't make insensitive comments. He is a good guy. Former American military and commercial pilot.

[NickJ]

Thats a sad one. Anyway to get him Stateside?....My friends father had it and my friend pretty much gave up a big chunk of his life to look after him. It got pretty bad with his dad escaping and getting lost.

Good luck.

[thai3]

At least given his background his income will be sufficient, could be many years of care ahead and I imagine not the bast place to be with it. Don't the US military have any organisations that could help back home?

Edited July 22, 2016 by thai3

[RandG]

I became aware of a similar issue (not US but also NATO). I contacted the Military Attaché at the Embassy in Bangkok, who could not have been more helpful; getting both the equivalent of the Veterans Administration and also Consular services involved. Might be worth trying the Military Attaché at the US Embassy in Bangkok), to see if they can assist.

[Mrjlh]

Contact the local VFW Post.

http://www.vfwpost9876.com/

[adhd]

one way ticket to a veterans hospital in the US not an option ?

[craigt3365]

That's a tough situation. One case I knew of here in Pattaya, the GF was skimming a bunch of money. It was really bad. There was a guy here that was helping him and it got too much for him. So he was moved to Golden Years nursing home in Bangkok.

This disease is going to get worse and worse. Is he open to a nursing home?

[whaleboneman]

I saw an interesting documentary about two years ago. Many Americans were putting their elderly parents into care homes in Thailand as they have some that have one on one care 24 hours a day. Such care in the US would be extremely expensive but seemed rather reasonable in Thailand. Sorry I do not recall name of documentary but it's an option that you may want to look into.

Good luck to your friend.

[craigt3365]

I saw a documentary about some Scandinavian country doing this. Up in Chiang Mai. It wasn't cheap. But, cheaper than back home!

It's really important to have relatives close by so you can keep an eye on them. Having somebody here all alone, with nobody who can make (trusted) financial decisions, is really tough.

[reallybigken]

I would take the advice given and contact the Military services for the US or the VFW.

My father just past away a few months ago. He had Alzheimer's. My father was the always a joker and always laughing. When he started getting Alzheimer's he became a very unhappy person and would get frustrated. He also developed a severe case of OCD. Later on he became agitated easily. We found a place for him in the US but it was very (Very) expensive.

It can be a very difficult disease to deal with. He needs to get specialize care. Again I highly recommend following the advice and contact the Military services for the US or the VFW.

All I can say is I wish you and him the best of luck. He is a lucky guy to have you as a friend trying to help him out.

[cmrichsw]

This Chiang Mai option is not that expensive -

Dok Kaew Gardens

http://www.chiangmaicitylife.com/citylife-archive/dok-kaew-gardens-chiang-mais-first-retirement-home-for-expats-and-thais/

[dddave]

Does he have any family in the US willing to assist. It's much easier for a family member to deal with the US Veterans Admin. in a case like this.

From what you describe, he will soon need full time care and is certainly eligible for VA benefits and long term care. It would seem to be his best option but the sooner the better while he still has some mental facility.

If no relatives that you know, I agree with the advice to first contact the US Embassy but don't expect very much info as they do not maintain a veterans office there.

JUSMAG ( http://www.jusmagthai.com/) is an organization in Bangkok supporting US military. They were really helpful to me when I had questions about VA benefits available to me here. Several members monitor this forum and I would not be surprised if they contact you. If they do not, go to their website and contact them....

Some VA "Help Lines"

1 800 827 1000, 1 800 273 8255, 1 800 222 VETS (8387)

Kudos on you for helping your friend.

[callaway]

May be alone but gets to meet new people every day

[dddave]

Contact the local VFW Post.

http://www.vfwpost9876.com/

This really is the first thing you should do. These guys will know what agencies to contact to get the ball rolling for him to receive long term care.

[gbswales]

Is he a sufficiently good friend that he might sign a power of attorney over his finances to you (or to another trusted fellow countryman) This way at least his finances could have some protection. His GF may just have been too scared to deal with the illness or worse still may not have understood it, on the other hand the fact that she up and left makes it likely that she, or perhaps her family, might try to milk his income. This way he could have a degree of protection while the other options are examined. If you or someone had full power of attorney then, if he has gone past the point of making a lucid decision, you would be able to select the best option for him. No matter what happens it is a truly sad case and you may have to be true to your friendship. good luck

[oxo1947]

May be alone but gets to meet new people every day

There is only one rule of Alzheimer's Club,...........

.

.

......................................

[Altalake]

Very sad. Heart goes out to him.

But if 'twas me, I 'd rather be in a Home in Thailand than the US, or Europe. Food & weather much nicer, and perchance the People more caring. Value for money??

[SOTIRIOS]

...you state that he was abandoned....

...has he been cleaned out as well....???

....gotta make sure they don't rob him...abuse him...or worse....

...they would have an alibi that ....'they moved to Bangkok'.....

...age....???

...any religious affiliations...???

...no other family anywhere in the world that can be contacted....???

...if his gf/wife abandoned him....another local woman would definitely not be the answer....

...as for the 'retirement center' advertised....not very reassuring when you cannot find anything on what they charge....

...'affordable' is a very relative term....

[Ken Khomdee]

There is a Namtip Nursing Home out by Maprachan Lake that seems very nice. I've visited friends there and the director/owner, Nuj, is very dedicated. Have a look there; you won't be disappointed. I'd attach a link but can't get it to cooperate but it will be easy to find on the internet.

[seancbk]

If the OP's friend knows and accepts he has Alzheimers and is looking for someone to take care of him then maybe the best option would be to find him a residential care home in Thailand.

My father passed away last year from the effects of dementia and my mother also has it. She refuses to leave their house and go into care, so instead my sister and I pay for full time live-in care to look after Mum.

It costs about 50,000 THB a week, but at least we know she is being looked after. Both my Sister and I live overseas.

Given my Mum's overall physical health and current age it is likely that she will live another 5 or 6 years, maybe longer.

If there was any way to get her to Thailand I'd do it but unfortunately that is out of the question.

[seancbk]

This Chiang Mai option is not that expensive -

Dok Kaew Gardens

http://www.chiangmaicitylife.com/citylife-archive/dok-kaew-gardens-chiang-mais-first-retirement-home-for-expats-and-thais/

It's a bad sign when you try accessing their website and find the domain has expired, however I did find their new site

http://www.mckean.or.th/

They also have a Facebook page (with the old website linked and no updates since March 2015)

Interesting article here that mentions Dok Kaew and mentions prices - http://www.straitstimes.com/asia/se-asia/not-all-smiles-for-some-retirees-in-chiang-mai

[khunPer]

Worth trying some coconut oil – plenty of it here – seem to help some quite instantly, reports talks about major improvements in few weeks to a month; cannot make conditions worse.
Article here (pdf):
WHAT IF THERE WAS A CURE FOR ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE AND NO ONE KNEW? A Case Study by Dr. Mary Newport

and the second edition of the book here at Amazon:
Alzheimer's Disease: What If There Was a Cure?: The Story of Ketones Paperback – April 15, 2013

[craigt3365]

If the OP's friend knows and accepts he has Alzheimers and is looking for someone to take care of him then maybe the best option would be to find him a residential care home in Thailand.

My father passed away last year from the effects of dementia and my mother also has it. She refuses to leave their house and go into care, so instead my sister and I pay for full time live-in care to look after Mum.

It costs about 50,000 THB a week, but at least we know she is being looked after. Both my Sister and I live overseas.

Given my Mum's overall physical health and current age it is likely that she will live another 5 or 6 years, maybe longer.

If there was any way to get her to Thailand I'd do it but unfortunately that is out of the question.

50k/week! Wow! We have one now for 18k/month, with a backup that we pay 10k/month. We had another that we paid 22k/month, but she didn't work out. We are here to deal with them on a regular basis, though do leave for months at a time and they take care of everything.

My mother is late state Alzheimer's. Pretty bad.

Not too far from us is a live in facility that's 45k/month for a relatively nice 1br apartment.

[JHolmesJr]

If the GF knew he has alzheimers….knew what that entails….and still left him alone to fend for himself….then she cannot be seen as trustworthy…i don't care what anyone says…that's just how it is.

Someone needs to protect this guy and his finances from the thai woman who is probably treating him as an atm.

Hope he will be ok…..

[Neocon]

Contact the local VFW Post.

http://www.vfwpost9876.com/

This really is the first thing you should do. These guys will know what agencies to contact to get the ball rolling for him to receive long term care.

Agreed. Ask for service officer Mike Warner.

[pkspeaker]

e will need 24 hour care soon, i think bumangrad hospital in bangkok has very nice live-in apartments with 24hour care, the question is how much money does he have to pay for that type of care.. if he decides to go the way of a personal caregiver; problem is it becomes like a jail for the caregiver as is soon as she is away, he starts to panic and starts looking for her, someone else is brought in part-time to relieve her, a babysitter-he freaks out and starts demanding that she get out of his house; he becomes paranoid someone is trying to steal his stuff, so he hides his stuff and can't find it because he forgot where he hid it, then he starts accusing everyone of stealing his stuff. Taking care of an alzheimers patient is difficult and there are daily incidents, running away etc.

[Neocon]

Is he a sufficiently good friend that he might sign a power of attorney over his finances to you (or to another trusted fellow countryman) This way at least his finances could have some protection. His GF may just have been too scared to deal with the illness or worse still may not have understood it, on the other hand the fact that she up and left makes it likely that she, or perhaps her family, might try to milk his income. This way he could have a degree of protection while the other options are examined. If you or someone had full power of attorney then, if he has gone past the point of making a lucid decision, you would be able to select the best option for him. No matter what happens it is a truly sad case and you may have to be true to your friendship. good luck

When a public or private organization paying monthly benefits is notified that a person in this situation has Alzheimer's and can no longer care for himself it's possible they will suspend benefits payments until a fiduciary volunteers and is appointed by them regardless if someone holds power of attorney. Different organizations have different rules. The same with financial institutions.

[wwest5829]

This Chiang Mai option is not that expensive -

Dok Kaew Gardens

http://www.chiangmaicitylife.com/citylife-archive/dok-kaew-gardens-chiang-mais-first-retirement-home-for-expats-and-thais/

f

I would investigate both the military contact option, follow up with this recommendation dependente upon family situation, cost, care. In the end, not being aware of what culture you're in, comes out the same.

[humqdpf]

I saw an interesting documentary about two years ago. Many Americans were putting their elderly parents into care homes in Thailand as they have some that have one on one care 24 hours a day. Such care in the US would be extremely expensive but seemed rather reasonable in Thailand. Sorry I do not recall name of documentary but it's an option that you may want to look into.

Good luck to your friend.

Clearly there are a number of these homes in Northern Thailand as I have seen a TV program about some older people from Europe staying in a home there.

The hard part is to find a place where he would be happy, which he could afford and which is well-run. It would also be important to try to get him into the home before he gets much worse as there may be issues to do with consent on his part.

Before you do all of this, it is very important that you get him some medical attention - he should be medically tested now to see exactly what is wrong with him and what the prognosis is.

It would also be important to check that his son and wife do not try to raid his bank account and assets.

[craigt3365]

e will need 24 hour care soon, i think bumangrad hospital in bangkok has very nice live-in apartments with 24hour care, the question is how much money does he have to pay for that type of care.. if he decides to go the way of a personal caregiver; problem is it becomes like a jail for the caregiver as is soon as she is away, he starts to panic and starts looking for her, someone else is brought in part-time to relieve her, a babysitter-he freaks out and starts demanding that she get out of his house; he becomes paranoid someone is trying to steal his stuff, so he hides his stuff and can't find it because he forgot where he hid it, then he starts accusing everyone of stealing his stuff. Taking care of an alzheimers patient is difficult and there are daily incidents, running away etc.

I researched an option with either Bumrungrad or the Nursing hospital in Bangkok. Massively expensive. We had a caregiver who left, and had the problem you described. My mother just did not want to deal with the new one. So, we offered a bit more money to the old one and back she came! They don't deal with changes very well.

Right now, we've got 3 caregivers, not including myself and my wife. It's incredibly difficult. And getting schedules setup so people have days off is not easy either.